I finally found 'the one'

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Re.TiReD

Re.TiReD

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Waddayya think.

Love marriages, love before marriage...etc etc .. how does one know whether or not they've found the one? Does 'the one' actually exist? Do we love the one we marry or marry the one we love?

Continuing from a thread on another forum, how do you know? You cant know really, can you?
 
:sl:

Inaayah said:
Waddayya think.

Love marriages, love before marriage...etc etc .. how does one know whether or not they've found the one?
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I don't think there's a way until you've spent years together. The "one" is a different concept than love before marriage, the latter exists, but the former takes time to figure out. If you've been married for a long time and still seriously love each other truly, then I'd say that's the 'one'.

Does 'the one' actually exist?
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Maybe. I personally think its a semi-rubbish concept, especially when dealing w/ it before marriage because only through marriage and experience and spending time with the person, going through disagreements etc and still being together, then you can say he/she is 'the one'.

Do we love the one we marry or marry the one we love?
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Same difference, doesn't it depend on how you get into marriage?
 
interesting akhi..
If I may ask, what do you think is the difference between love and like?

for instance can you love someone and not like them or vice versa..
I ask because some of the day to day living you speak of, I couldn't really classify under love.. rather love would give you the ability to be accepting of..

:w:
 
the one exists. but it's not actually the one until you make him/her so.
it's all in the frontal lobe really. both loving the one we marry and marrying the one we love applies. but scientifically, we are absolutely loving what we have. otherwise there would be lots of trouble, I assure you.
 
Gossamer skye said:
interesting akhi..
If I may ask, what do you think is the difference between love and like?

for instance can you love someone and not like them or vice versa..
I ask because some of the day to day living you speak of, I couldn't really classify under love.. rather love would give you the ability to be accepting of..

:w:
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I think it depends on what type of love you're talking about. In terms of marital love, I think 'like' is simply the basic inclination to the person or towards a quality they possess that you find attractive which would allow you to proceed with marriage. It doesn't mean you love them because love is a stronger emotion..it's like strong affection that's given and hoped that it gets reciprocated. It's something that effects the mind and the soul..the person truly changes because of it. Ibn Hazm says:
Of Love--may God exalt you! -the first part is jesting, and the last part is right earnestness. So majestic are its diverse aspects, they are too subtle to be described; their reality can only be apprehended by personal experience.
[...]
Sometimes, it is true, Love comes as a result of a definite cause outside the soul, but then it passes away when the cause itself disappears: one who is fond of you because of a certain circumstance will turn his back on you when that motive no longer exists.
[...]
Love-may God exalt you! -is in truth a baffling ailment, and its remedy is in strict accord with the degree to which it is treated; it is a delightful malady, a most desirable sickness. Whoever is free of it likes not to be immune, and whoever is struck down by it yearns not to recover. Love represents as glamorous that which a man formerly disdained, and renders easy for him that which he hitherto found hard; so that it even transforms established temperaments and inborn dispositions, as shall be set forth briefly in its own appropriate chapter, God willing.
​
I think love gives you the ability to be accepting, sometimes to a great extent..but that doesn't mean you can't disagree w/ the one you love...I don't know if I've addressed your question..I feel like I'm just rambling :-[ ..if I haven't then do clarify please!
 
maybe frontal, maybe parietal maybe even the hippocampus, but with a constant exchange between the brain and the heart, who knows why the heart was chosen as a symbol for love even the most ennobled such as love for God, or for words of truths...
 
Abu Zayd said:
I think it depends on what type of love you're talking about. In terms of marital love, I think 'like' is simply the basic inclination to the person or towards a quality they possess that you find attractive which would allow you to proceed with marriage. It doesn't mean you love them because love is a stronger emotion..it's like strong affection that's given and hoped that it gets reciprocated. It's something that effects the mind and the soul..the person truly changes because of it. Ibn Hazm says:
Of Love--may God exalt you! -the first part is jesting, and the last part is right earnestness. So majestic are its diverse aspects, they are too subtle to be described; their reality can only be apprehended by personal experience.
[...]
Sometimes, it is true, Love comes as a result of a definite cause outside the soul, but then it passes away when the cause itself disappears: one who is fond of you because of a certain circumstance will turn his back on you when that motive no longer exists.
[...]
Love-may God exalt you! -is in truth a baffling ailment, and its remedy is in strict accord with the degree to which it is treated; it is a delightful malady, a most desirable sickness. Whoever is free of it likes not to be immune, and whoever is struck down by it yearns not to recover. Love represents as glamorous that which a man formerly disdained, and renders easy for him that which he hitherto found hard; so that it even transforms established temperaments and inborn dispositions, as shall be set forth briefly in its own appropriate chapter, God willing.
​
I think love gives you the ability to be accepting, sometimes to a great extent..but that doesn't mean you can't disagree w/ the one you love...I don't know if I've addressed your question..if I haven't then do clarify please!
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:sl:


well a few posts back we couldn't agree on a definition for happiness, I believe 'contentment' was as close as we got.. we are yet to define 'love'
is it simply a stronger emotion than like? I personally don't think they are related at all.
I don't even mean in the erotic marital love, I mean just with every day folks you love.. You can for instance love your sister or brother and yet despise everything about them say they aren't good Muslims or don't pray or don't squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube...

for what it is worth, even though I believe love to be a highly evolved emotion, I still think it is alot more basic and primal than like...(might actually answer the question of love before or after marriage) I personally don't think a person has a hand in the matter.. it isn't the sort of thing you can will or the sort of thing that can later be born of the everyday living and certainly isn't contingent on them, maybe flourishes of familiarity yes but no more.. those who have felt it (love) know it, and those who haven't can merely speculate of it..

with that said, I don't believe such threads can be answered in a correct uniform manner, since there is no correct answer.. we define the one and we collectively define love by different definitions...

:w:
 
:sl:

it isn't the sort of thing you can will
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Exactly.

with that said, I don't believe such threads can be answered in a correct uniform manner, since there is no correct answer.. we define the one and we collectively define love by different definitions...
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I completely agree.
 
no such thing as the one, there are some who are more compatible than others and that's that.
if you really have to subscribe to such magical thinking, then there several "the one's", not just one, however that sums up :).
 
:sl: What about if you're married to more than one wife and you love them all (in different ways)? Does the ''one'' still exist, or would it be ''several''?
 
^ lol yes i was going to say the same thing!

Another marriage thread,watch how many people reply and watch the amount of views lol!! :muddlehea
 
maybe when everyone finaly gets married off they'll stop making marriage threads inshallah! LOL
 
Gossamer skye said:
for instance can you love someone and not like them or vice versa..
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I think it is possible.

You know Inaayah that I don't like über-rambling threads, I think blogs fit better for them, but this thread, the theme I have no idea what went into me but I think it's ADORABLE. :offended:

I believe after you know, you'll think you've always known but in reality you didn't know until you knew... Uh? :muddlehea
 
nebula said:
maybe when everyone finaly gets married off they'll stop making marriage threads inshallah! LOL
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Nah.. after the honey moon is over you find the after threads in the advise and counseling section :haha:


Al-Zaara said:
I think it is possible.

I believe after you know, you'll think you've always known but in reality you didn't know until you knew... Uh? :muddlehea
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I think I'll understand this better after I have had a double espresso... :shade:
 
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

*Subscribes*

Love is.....:embarrass

FiAmaaniAllah
 
sometimes half of 'the one' is found in two separate persons and you wish you can join them together to complete 'the one'. :lol:
 

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