I Have A Predicament Involving Marriage

Crystle9827 said:
I'm not sure if the police can help, as in my area, this is quite common and probably legal.
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You live in indonesia, its full of muslims, why can't you a scholar or an imam to help you out, they can't all be supporting your family?
 
:sl: This is so sad and very concrning, your parents have now turned to violence in order to get their own needs met.............. This is HARAM..........

Little one do you not have the support of family around you, maybe an older relative.

I am concerned as prior to this you were thinking of running away. I still am against this, but is there somewhere you can go for a while to seek refuge, maybe from a distance your parents may listen to you................

DO NOT however give in to them. Please. I have seen this thing happen too often, unfortunaetly within my own family too, in the end it will be you that suffers.......

There must be a way. If you have family i recommend that you approach them and let them know what is happening. I sincerely hope the best for you.

Please keep us informed of your situation as we are all to support you, any which way we can. Ameen.:w::cry:
 
:sl: I am sorry but i find your attitude very difficult. What i MEAN is do you have family that understand your predicament and can/willing to help you...................

Maybe you should not post a thread if you cannot take what is being offered to you. This is the second time that i find your attitude very difficult to understand..................

Everyone has problems little one, no need for the attitude, you also approached brother Alpha with a very negative answer when all he was doing was giving you good advice................

Good luck.:w:QUOTE=Crystle9827;1116426]What do you mean by if I have family? Of course I do, they are the ones causing this predicament.[/QUOTE]
 
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Assalam Alaikum.

Now I don't mean to be insensitive or the like but this predicament you're in seems ridiculously fishy. You have no form of help/sympathy/advisers other than an Islamic message board? Everyone on your side of Indonesia is against you and on your parents side to the point where it almost seems like it's hopeless?

Indonesia is jam packed with Muslims so I'm sure theres some that are rightly guided and can bring justice to you and the situation. If not in your wacky side of town than perhaps another side. Heck, you're on the internet, find all your mosques in your area or Islamic hotlines or what have you and give them your predicament and I'm sure somebody would come down there to help you out.

It's obvious that your parents view of Islam is warped and drenched in the negatives of Pakistani culture, the whole honor/wealth superficial nonsense. So if your area has that same idea, than go outside of it. Running away like those have said earlier won't make things better. And I'm sure if you yourself were a bit more knowledgeable of the in and outs of Islam, you could deal with this better. Instead your mingling with a boyfriend and believing friends at school saying that marrying cousins is incest.

I don't know. It just seems like whatever advice everyone is giving you, which is all good sound advice, it keeps getting shot down out of the hopelessness of your situation to the point that I can't completely believe you.
 
Marrying cousins is allowed but barely /rarely known in families. Running away would be disobeying your parents therefore your disobeying Allah in a way. Don't do it. What are you going to do as a job ? Where are you going to live? Where are you going to run away to? Carefully consider these questions then think about the advantages of running away and take your decision wisely as this decision will effect where you're life will stand and which standard it will be at in the eyes of Allah. All the very best.
 
Crystle9827 said:
I'm sorry I didn't say so before, I live in Indonesia. Hope that helps.
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Forced marriages are generally the result of a country culture. I do not recall that being part of Indonesian culture. I am reasonably certain forced marriages are illegal in Indonesia. Perhaps some of our other Indonesian members will see this thread and be able to give you advice specific for Indonesia.
 
Crystle9827 said:
The ones around here do.
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Indonesia is not an Islamic country, so they probably have stricter laws about forced marriages because of immigration, maybe. Get the police involved, unless you want to go along with this.
 
salaam,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, sister. But if you think your parents don't have a right to force you into marriage, well then neither have u got the right to make a boyfriend. If we are declaring Islam for our parents, then we should also be following it ourselves.

Sister, I wouldn't advise you to hold an argument about this with your parents at the moment, and put yourself in much difficulty. Because it may be that when u see him, you like him. Or it may be that if u don't like him straight away, u will get to like him. It may be that he is good for you. Give it a chance sister, as Allaah :arabic2: says in the Qur'aan that it may be that u don't like a thing but it is good for you, and you which u like is bad for you.

As for boyfriends, keep faaaaar away from them - they only ruin your life.
 
Solution !!!

:sl:
Sister there is absolutely no need to worry. First of all start reciting Surah 113 & 114 of the Holy Quran, whenever u can.
I will not lecture u about Islam or modesty since Allah & his Prophet p.b.u.h have given us a BOOK and the best example (Prophet's life), to make our decisions and find solutions to our problems.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ أَطِيعُواْ اللّهَ وَأَطِيعُواْ الرَّسُولَ وَأُوْلِي الأَمْرِ مِنكُمْ فَإِن تَنَازَعْتُمْ فِي شَيْءٍ فَرُدُّوهُ إِلَى اللّهِ وَالرَّسُولِ إِن كُنتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ ذَلِكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَحْسَنُ تَأْوِيلاً (4:59)

4:59 (Y. Ali) O ye who believe! Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger, and those charged with authority among you. If ye differ in anything among yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger, if ye do believe in Allah and the Last Day: That is best, and most suitable for final determination.

Present your parents THIS way of resolving the issue and miraculously Allah s.w.t will find the best way for you and your family. Insha Allah :smile:

:w:
 
Be grateful to Allah s.w.t

:sl:

Advice & Prayer for us regarding our parents...

17:24 and spread over them humbly the wings of thy tenderness, [28] and say: "O my Sustainer! Bestow Thy grace upon them, even as they cherished and reared me when I was a child!"

One of the greatest blessings from Allah s.w.t, is our PARENTS :Alhumdill
 
Indonesia is not an Islamic country, so they probably have stricter laws about forced marriages because of immigration, maybe. Get the police involved, unless you want to go along with this.
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Our area is islamic (Indonesia is slowly becoming "islamic") and plus theres no immigration into Indoesnia involved in this.

Perhaps some of our other Indonesian members will see this thread and be able to give you advice specific for Indonesia
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Thank you, I mean I do appreciate it that, but it is common over here.

What are you going to do as a job ? Where are you going to live? Where are you going to run away to?
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I'm not sure, but I guess any place would be better than here with this situation in place.

I don't know. It just seems like whatever advice everyone is giving you, which is all good sound advice, it keeps getting shot down out of the hopelessness of your situation to the point that I can't completely believe you.
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I'm not exactly sure what you mean or where you're coming from. Sorry.
 

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