I have only Allah, No One Else.

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HopeFul

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:sl:

Assalmoalaikum

I just wrote a long message but I got a PM so it all got deleted somehow, My problem is that i have, since childhood felt very detached from people and close to Allah ( being close to Allah is not the problem..:D). Does anyone else feel like that.

Anything good or bad doesnt have an effect on me(related to people), I say/think Allah did it for the best. I have no complaints expectations etc from people.

Alhamdolillah i am protective, possessive and loving and caring about my family, husband and kids but no news or incident affects me. I sort of sometimes feel a third person is thinking, outside the box and looking at stuff in a logical and religious aspect.

E.g lots of people have been dying, things lost, people ill and sometimes good things happenin too, in my close family, nothing has the effect on me in which I may feel personally involved with a person so much i will forget other things.. hmm I hope Im able to explain, does anyone else feel too alone in the entire world thinking they have some rare connection with Allah alone, and people seem like aliens?. Ia m a VEry social person but seems everything is superficial.. Help, is this normal?
 
I have times when I feel somewhat detached from other people; the interests and hobbies they have; the priorities they set for themselves; the things they choose to occupy their time with. Those are times when I just want to delve into prayer and 'being with God', and when earthly things seems to matter little.

But at other times I feel very much involved in this earthly life - the suffering and hardship, the poverty and need which is evident everywhere. And then I feel a great responsibility to be God's instrument in this life and to do as much as I can to make this world a better place.

I must say that I feel closely connected to God in both circumstances .

Your acceptance that whatever God gives you will be for the good is very beautiful and humbling, HopeFul. :statisfie Make sure you don't lose it!

But also try to remember that other people may experience suffering and hardship much more acutely than you, and that they may need your comfort and support to see them through those times!
I read this somewhere very recently, and it spoke very much to me:
"Never become so spiritual that you become unavailable."
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Salaam :)
 
JazakAllah glo, that was wonderful.

Alhamdolillah i am passionate and empathetic, I just dont relate to people. E.g, My kids, how much does a mum love her kids? especially house wife like me who has nop other interests, but even then my interest is more to make them love Allah, connect to Allah, make them feel how I feel, as opposed to just loving them for being my kids, I feel they have a greater responsibility towards Allah.

About suffering, I dont indulge myself in things I cannot help, this is also my problem, E.g, palestine conflict, which sometimes worsens, I do Dua for the people in Salat everyday, sometimes I feel like crying, and sorry this is harsh but I dont feel the way others may feel about them , I dont get frustrated or angry .. I think in a differnt way.. I cant explain. I always think Allah is Bigger than everything, everyone and He has control over All that exists . If He is allowing something to Happen there is no doubt it will have wisdom in it that we don't understand.Allah loves people who obey him more than we love them, I mean he will give them Jnnah, yet He is watching all the tortures and stuff we dont even hear in the news, He sure knows what he is doing, I trust Him. I make dua, ina detached way, from the core of my heart for the suffering people, even if theya re not muslims, although mostly I concentrate on fellow muslims' misfortunes because theya re wronged more often these days, or children.

I also Alhamdolillah try and make some financial/physical effort, but it is All in a detached way, like a duty, now how can I be passioante and loving and detached at the same time, believeme it happens to me.. But I think it's not normal, or is it? JazakAllah.
 
:sl:

This is just my opinion... I think you are more logical than emotional and I don't think that's a problem. It doesn't mean that you don't care. It just means that you think very rationally. And Allah knows best.

:w:
 
Hopeful,

I would like to ask you a question please in order to learn more and maybe I can help: Do you feel the same way if the problem is to do with religion and the afterlife as well? I mean if you can imagine that your kid is grown up and telling you he's tired of this Islamic thing in everything and wants to have fun and get a girlfriend and go out and see the World, and says don't rack his head with prayer or whatever, do you still feel disconnected and doesn't really matter, like he is going to be ok in his way anyway?
 
Well as far as I could understand, you perform the obligatory duties because of both prerequistes of doing them i.e. you have to and you want to.

And I think this is what every Momin and every Mominah should have. Doing something only for the sake of it being an obligation without any involvement is as good as not doing it at all. And if you do something compulsory with all your interest then it'll definitely get more rewarded.

I think, Alhamdulillah, that you are at a high level of faith. Mashallah. May Allah bless you more from his bounty. Your total detachment can only mean that this world is not for you and only the Aakhirah will delight for you. Like the hadeeth in which Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said "The world is like a prison for a believer."
 
Prophet Mohamed (saw) was a family man, a statesman, a teacher, a Godfearing man, a peoples person. We shud aspire to be the same.
 
Sampharo said:
Hopeful,

I would like to ask you a question please in order to learn more and maybe I can help: Do you feel the same way if the problem is to do with religion and the afterlife as well? I mean if you can imagine that your kid is grown up and telling you he's tired of this Islamic thing in everything and wants to have fun and get a girlfriend and go out and see the World, and says don't rack his head with prayer or whatever, do you still feel disconnected and doesn't really matter, like he is going to be ok in his way anyway?
Click to expand...

:sl:

Like I said brother, if I were a proper mum, if I have to wake up my 13 years old brother and clearly seeing he is extremely tired, but I order him to pray Fajr, I sometimes see my kids dosing off but I wont let them drift off until they ahve said their before bedtime prayers ( alhamdolillah I took pains making them memorise it even before theyre four..) So if my sons or daughter were to do something irreligious, I would detach my mum side and would be reasonably ( but humanely) strict about them following Allah as I think that's what is most important..

Alhamdolillah i undertsand that it must be a good attriubute, but it makes me feel sometimes I dont love my kids, i am not as merciful as other mums, or that I am too lonely, because.. hmmm...well they are only close to me if they obey Allah, you get what I mean?
people are close to people because they love each other, regardless of what they doa nd they support and love each other and I am on the otherhand only concerned with wether my loved ones will please allah or not, go to Jannah or not!!!
 
ali_008 said:
Well as far as I could understand, you perform the obligatory duties because of both prerequistes of doing them i.e. you have to and you want to.

And I think this is what every Momin and every Mominah should have. Doing something only for the sake of it being an obligation without any involvement is as good as not doing it at all. And if you do something compulsory with all your interest then it'll definitely get more rewarded.

I think, Alhamdulillah, that you are at a high level of faith. Mashallah. May Allah bless you more from his bounty. Your total detachment can only mean that this world is not for you and only the Aakhirah will delight for you. Like the hadeeth in which Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said "The world is like a prison for a believer."
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:sl:

i wish brother this was the case, I am a big sinner...:(

may Allah have mercy one me..:(
 
Sometimes when something bad happens, and you react in a positive way i.e you stay calm, and show your content, but to the outside world because you are not ranting and raving its more like to them that you dont care.


When you see palestine on t.v, and inside you say May Allah swt grant them victory, do we have to feel emotional, and what if you dont get emotional, does that mean you dont care.
 
:sl:
I'd like to have nightstar's :awesome: signature :happy::p

:w:
 
I actually envy you a bit as I am at the other end of the spectrum - always overly sentimental and geting very upset when I see situations like Gaza etc...

I like what you said that "I always think Allah is Bigger than everything, everyone and He has control over All that exists . If He is allowing something to Happen there is no doubt it will have wisdom in it that we don't understand." That is very true. With me, I always wish I could somehow help them and make things better. You know ''world peace''...that sort of thing. But Allah has stated that we each have our own burdens to bear so you are the winner in this case.

Although I do think there is a fine line between too detached and too attached. As long as your family is high up on your list after Allah, you are doing fine. You are not letting other things to get to you which is great.

I knew of a woman who would let her kid cry herself to sleep while she finished salah (many times) or she would neglect the child completely cuz of worship to Allah.....this was extreme. But alhumdulillah, she is much better now and more aware of her family's needs.

You are masha'allah doing a great job I think. Like I said, I wish I could be somewhat like you. I care too much - and that can sometimes be a major problem...
 
Like I said brother, if I were a proper mum, if I have to wake up my 13 years old brother and clearly seeing he is extremely tired, but I order him to pray Fajr, I sometimes see my kids dosing off but I wont let them drift off until they ahve said their before bedtime prayers ( alhamdolillah I took pains making them memorise it even before theyre four..) So if my sons or daughter were to do something irreligious, I would detach my mum side and would be reasonably ( but humanely) strict about them following Allah as I think that's what is most important..

Alhamdolillah i undertsand that it must be a good attriubute, but it makes me feel sometimes I dont love my kids, i am not as merciful as other mums, or that I am too lonely, because.. hmmm...well they are only close to me if they obey Allah, you get what I mean?
people are close to people because they love each other, regardless of what they doa nd they support and love each other and I am on the otherhand only concerned with wether my loved ones will please allah or not, go to Jannah or not!!!
Click to expand...

Ok, that is what I thought. Relax sister there is nothing wrong with you except you are not as hyper as others. You have what many pious people have, and that is deep detachment to this World because you recognize it's useless for anything other than worship and sustenance, it's coming to an end soon, and what matters is the afterlife.

I know a couple of people like that, and they even also complained that they think something is wrong with being so detached with everyone around them, that they only care about prayer and obedience, and only get close to people praying and studying with them, and would not get emotionally involved with anything else. They feel detached from their families, and they feel their families have called them harsh and cold towards them.

I don't know if you need a "solution" but it's all about belief system. With time one of the two guys relaxed and he got closer to his family and friendlier, once his belief system included that loving and caring for people around him makes him closer to God. The other is on the way too. So perhaps for you it is simply such a matter as well.

God be with you, and I hope this gives you a bit of peace of mind.
 
:sl:
Sister, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Mashallah, your position is quite good. When I said that you're at a high level of faith, I didn't mean that you're sinless. In fact scholars have defined a Momin as the one who is not sinless but always obeys Allah as much as he can and keeps asking for forgiveness from his lord. Reaching that sinless station is impossible. I used to feel this way when I actually started trying to be a Muslim but as time passed by I degraded my faith and I dearly miss that time when I was completely focussed on the Aakhirah. Your spiritual intoxication isn't a defect but actually a good sign.

The only problem I could make out in your case is your detachment to your family. I think thats where you need to work on. After all loving people for the sake of Allah is consiedered among the dearest deeds to Allah. and when you Allah, you ought to love his creation.

May Allah increase our Zuhd and give us the strength to strive in his cause. Ameen
 
HopeFul said:
:sl:

Assalmoalaikum
E.g lots of people have been dying, things lost, people ill and sometimes good things happenin too, in my close family, nothing has the effect on me in which I may feel personally involved with a person so much i will forget other things.. hmm I hope Im able to explain, does anyone else feel too alone in the entire world thinking they have some rare connection with Allah alone, and people seem like aliens?. Ia m a VEry social person but seems everything is superficial.. Help, is this normal?
Click to expand...

Yes, it's normal sis. Everything is fake unless it's done for the sake and pleasure of Allah. Which most of the time it isn't. That's why you feel it's fake. Because it is.
 
:salamext:

Oh boy am I in that issue many times but when I get home I try to pray to soothe me out from the day which helps magnificently and I also go on LI which makes me forget and forgive the things. I am popular but not with the smoking jocks and most of them are in my class which makes me alone causing them to have a reason of making me in the hot seat which unfortunately is not good at all because it normally stresses me but whenever I get home I try to pray to forget all of this and I end up doing so. I just go to school do my work and come home for my family. That is what helps me most in those times,also speaking to much is not good too. Remember that you social freaks and inshAllah Allah will help you all of the way.

:salamext:
 
:sl:

JazakAllah everyone for your advice. I guess that the main advice here is to live with it :D

InshaAllah I will try :)

May allah have mercy on me and everyone else, ameen, its just that sometimes it feels lonely and I hate to feel lonely, ofcourse I am never truly lonely because Allah is with me all the time, but human-less, hehehe if there is such a phrase..

May Allah help me, ameen.
 

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