I've always tried to understand people tha tthink this way.. Aside from tha fakt you 'love' her, why wouldn't you wana marry someone that lives their life for one purpose of achieving the same goal as you? Furthermore, don't you think your differences in lifestyles would affect tha upbringing of your children? If I'm not correkt, she prolly goes clubbing and tha rest? Eats what is not halal? etc so would you allow your child to du tha same? I beleive you say your not prakticing, buh du you not even beleive that aspekt of Islam either or do you condone it? & If you want to find tha truth again, wha you guna du then? End it? =S. Or ask her to convert...
Westernised.. If you wish to label yourself with that then so be it, buh you have largely been influenced by Western values it seems...
Sorry for bombarding you wit questions, I know someone whus going fru this phase also, and I jsut wanted to kinda get an insight into your thinking =) Maybe I can then kinda to some extent understand their situation instead of playing dead from them. No offence intended.
I'm not easily offended Sis, so none taken, and its okey i don't mind the questions....
"wouldn't i want to be with someone with the same goals in life as you? " My goal has always been to become successful, i guess i've been chasing material things but that is because its what's driven me so far in life. But referring to the question i guess we share the same goals, she wants success and other things aswell.
" Different lifestyles we lead causes confusion when bringing up children"
This is the main issue, yet I'm still young and children etc hasn't really been the major topic but from what we've discussed so far hmm i know for a fact its a sin not to raise your child as a Muslim if your a Muslim yourself.
But hypothetically if i did marry her and we had children, hmm i guess i'd teach my children Islam and let them decide when they are old enough if they wish to be fully practising. This is what I'd probably do if i was a practising muslim or not.
In terms of the alcohol, clubbing, non-halal food....etc, well it mite be different for other people, but my gf doesn't drink.
The clubbing, she's told me she's been to a few, but whilst we've been together she hasn't but house parties are more of a place she'd rather socialise but i guess its no better than clubbing. In terms of the clubbing and if i'd allow my children to do so I'm not sure i'll have to ask her about that.
Halal food at home of course its halal for me and she hasn't got a problem with it, meat is meat to her, no difference if its blessed. And well since she's been with me there's no eating of the swine.
Lastly asking her to convert, I will ask and try to make her see sense in God when I've resolved my own issues, but I've said from the beginning I'm not going to push her into a religion.
But i guess i'm more lucky than others, she's willing to compromise and give up a few things but then so am I. And well you may term it as a 'phase' but its not just because I'm not married to her legally doesn't mean its not serious nor will it just pass. But then that's my opinion.
saws
i think your problem is that your young brother and most of the young muslims that come to my mosque they don't even know how to pray and they are born muslim only about 14 and 15 and even older and they are very open about there problems and we try to help them as much as we can and maybe you could also benefit from going to your local mosque and start from scratch like learning the basics of islam
