I have strayed away from Islam

[brotherubaid]

The imaan , Faith reduces n increases , it happens to al of us , for instance if i stop reciting the quran n redue in its recitation , ( n i dont mean just reciting the arabic quran without knowing its meaning, i understand arabic) n pondeing over its meanings , i really feel its grave effects on my heart n my deen in general , i feel like my iman reduces , Liek the Prophet Sala Lahu alihi wa sallam told us , Iman decreases n increases , it increases with good deeds n decreases with sins n disobedience n trangressions , so nautrally brother u are in a state where it has reduced , hence the fear has gone , it happnes , trust me ur not the only one , it happens to everyone , in life we go through diffrent periods , sometime sour iman is soo high no fitnah or temptation is big enough other times we easily fall into huge sins.

What i would suggest bro , n lol i know u have been given lots n lots of suggestions n material in this thread , but any way , bro get the knowledge , n lie i said work on ur heart , We are supposed to get closer to Allah with Hope n Fear , not just fear , we gotta balance them both , and many times the hope of his reward n his pleasure can easily make us do things we never though we could , so for some people hope works n for some fear ,

And it is All about LOVE

N the only way love of Allah comes is when we get to know him , the more we know Him n About Him the more we love him , Dont we see what love can do to us in our daily lifes , How some one does the impossible for love , have u not seen people change completely coz of love, Like the Prophet sala lahu alihi wa sallam told us , It is the love of something that makes u deaf n blind, we see that brothers that could never quit smoking for instance , easily leave it after they get engaged or something. Its easy to do things in love , to change n make changes , So imagine if u REALLY LOVED ALLAH ,. Wouldt it all become sooo easy ? Whatever is soo strange n difficult now will all be soo easy , no temptation wil be big enough , all u woud ever care about is to have ur Lord happy , n seek his pleasure , No one will need to tell u to pray , Ur heaert will be restless thinking about the next prayer n how n where will u pray it , u will look fgor places n moments to be alone with Allah n just call upon him , praise him n ask him , n confess his bounties upon u , confess whatever he has blessed u with , Coz for sure he has given u what he has not given a lot of his slaves , he has saved u from soo many problems n calamities n well diseases n disabalities , not to mention he gave u n ur parenst a chance to live a good life away from the misery n suffering of some people or ur origin back in pakistan , fiending for a drop of water n a bite of bread.

Bro get to know Allah , with knowledge Love wil come about m fear will come , hopoe will arise , n u will become a loved slave of Allah n hey u just might be the luck ones mentioned in this Hadith ...

Allah's Messenger, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said:
"If Allah loves someone He calls (angel) Jibreel and says: I
love so-and-so, so you love him. Jibreel loves him, and calls
the other angels in Heaven to love that person. They love him,
then his love will be made upon earth, and he becomes loved.

"And if Allah hates someone He calls Jibreel and says: I hate
so-and-so and you hate him. Jibreel hates him and calls the
angels in Heaven and says: Allah hates so-and-so, so you all
hate him. They all hate him, and his hatred is made upon earth
and he becomes hated." - Muslim



So bro if fear is not working , Try love , try hope , know Alllah , Know his greatness n His kingdom n authority n his rewards n how much He loves us n cares for us , how much has He got prepared for us .. ohh bro .. only if u knew , its alright , its never too late n im soo glad ur here man , Bro , seek knowledge , not the frighteniong things coz they are obvioulsy not working , but just by knowing Allah , His beautiful names n Attributes .... n his words , the quran , right between our hands

Ikramah bin abu jahl radi Allah anhu used to would place the Quran on his face and cry n say, "The Book of my Lord, the words of my Lord"

Allah make things easy bro

 

[M..x]

Okey the videos were insightful i remember that song " I need a girl" gd song lol, but i already knew about the Muslim brothers in the industy, Mos Def, Lupe Fiasco, K'Naan to name a few, and I've heard there interviews about how they found emptiness in there life and then found Islam, then some are born Muslim. I see how i should take an example from them, they've lived their life did the "jet set lifestyle". Maybe a came off a little too materialistic, I'm not looking to become a billionaire just enough so i don't struggle in life, a little more humble rather than the fancy 20 room mansion. And when i reached where i want to be, hopefully i can retire and travel the world , IDK sister i really haven't thought that far ahead, I'm more interested in right now to be honest.

Yeah once upon a time, I though that was a 'phat' tune aswell, buh years later, I got over it =). Bro, you most defo need to take example from them, don't you feel anything when watching them? Cause it just makes me feel all wierdly happy and erm like satsified? I cant explain. Live for tha moment eh? Maybe you should set your goals abit higher? How abouh living a ISLAMIC lifestyle and wurking for the afterlife? You know, I went backyard a lil while ago & kasme i saw some of the most POOREST kids and peopls, & I'm not just saying poor, poverty in Pakistan is like a completely different thing there. And you see tha most beautiful of families wif tha most gawjus kids buh they wurking at like 100 rupees an hour, thas barely a quid. Buh ya'no what, they are so content with their lives and they think even earning that is like so much. I'm sure they have a dream to just live in a clean house with some sort of stability. Buh I guess we're just too spoilt... Don't get me wrong still, there were bare crafty ones aswell =P

And we will discuss it, but there is no point me discussing it now when I'm not even sure of my religion. Yes it will impact the relationship, I'm gna change if i start practising Islam again, lets be real now. But right now I feel even if i was a practising Muslim i would not give her up. Maybe it will change after this week as I'm embarking on attempting to have no contact with her for a week, who knows but right now thats how I'm feeling.

Hang on, you're 'serious' with her buh you dont find stuff like thas as even relevant. Bro, you cant just pick and choose stuff that you want to practice. Islam is COMPLETE, not partial. & We can't make halal what is completely and utterly haraam. Zina is one of the wurst sins, and to even be able to comprehend the punishment from it just sends shivers down my spine. You know all I'm saying is, don't keep wif this mentality untill you regret it.

Sister I think you've stereotyped my GF forgive me if I'm wrong as them white women you see go clubbing nearly every nite of the week and not dressing modestly. Maybe i should make it clear that she's actually not from Eng, she originates from Canada and she's a mix of Canadian and Native American.

No steroptyping intended. =) I'm 20, I'm not deluded or ignorant about tha issues within tha community hence clubbing/houseparties appear to be kinda tha same thing. Not that I've been to eny buh from wha I see around me and hearing disgusting pathetic stories whu have attended, same fitnah, same sin, same concept.

As a teen I've done it all, so i know what happens at house parties and clubs so i really can't say really to my sister not to go because then I'm a double standard. I'll tell her the truth and what happens at these events, and even with my experience and my warning if she still wishes to go, well I'm not prepared to lock her in her. But that doesn't mean i'd stop trying to tell her not to go, i won't give up but like i said i won't physically stop her.

Well I first ask Allah to forgive you man, thats proper sad. Are you honestly and saying that bro? Not questioning you buh hand on heart. Because I feel if your able to control someone pyschically to stop commiting some of tha most baddest sins, then so be it. I approve.

Well it hasn't been that bad so far compromises have worked, I'm not gonna gloss over it and say everything is fine. We have the Ups and Downs, we disagree over things, that if i was with a Muslim Wife i would probably not have a problem with but which couple doesn't have arguments married or not. But we both end up at the end of the day still wanting to be with each other, maybe that might not last forever but does every Muslim marriage last forever divorces happen.

No, no marriage is perfekt. Agreed. Buh a Muslim wife will be better for you. And I hope she converts. I find converts to be beautiful, they are so passionate abouh religion leaving us to feel like proper idiots. They speak abouh Islam like it SHOULD be spoken abouh, not like some poxy set of rules that we 'HAVE to follow. =)

You know Next week after I'll actually sit down with her and discuss the issues that you've raised. Maybe I can give a more in depth answer then. So if you got anymore questions send me them.

Yeah I look foward to hearing it.

May I recommend you strongly watch Arrivals? Youtube it.. I love it. Although there are certain concepts regarding tha coming of tha Mahdi that I dont agree wit, tha underlying message however is just wickad.

Also you said you've lost fear in Allah and His punishments. Have you not seen what has happened in Haiti? Du you not fear your own fate. Duna if you remember, couple of years ago, I think '05, dya remember that Tsunami ripped Asia apart. NATIONS got wiped out wif a blink of an eye. Allah says in tha Quran that He will destroy nations and replace us wit new ones that are more God-fearing and better than us. Now, almost 4/5 years on, look at whats left of Haiti. And if you go back to them places , lifes going on like normal, like nothing happened. Allah has made us blind of it, he has wiped it from our memories, forgotton His signs.. Just as He said he would. Scare you nah? God knows wha our fate is... Also all tha signs of Qiyamah are happening right infront of us, every single one unfolding and just as tha way tha Prophet (saw) described, yet du you remain blind to that? Yeah, it was 1400 years ago, buh they are a mirror image of tha state of today, coincidence?

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Yeah once upon a time, I though that was a 'phat' tune aswell, buh years later, I got over it =). Bro, you most defo need to take example from them, don't you feel anything when watching them? Cause it just makes me feel all wierdly happy and erm like satsified? I cant explain. Live for tha moment eh? Maybe you should set your goals abit higher? How abouh living a ISLAMIC lifestyle and wurking for the afterlife? You know, I went backyard a lil while ago & kasme i saw some of the most POOREST kids and peopls, & I'm not just saying poor, poverty in Pakistan is like a completely different thing there. And you see tha most beautiful of families wif tha most gawjus kids buh they wurking at like 100 rupees an hour, thas barely a quid. Buh ya'no what, they are so content with their lives and they think even earning that is like so much. I'm sure they have a dream to just live in a clean house with some sort of stability. Buh I guess we're just too spoilt... Don't get me wrong still, there were bare crafty ones aswell.

Sorry sis I didn’t feel that type of enlightenment from watching the videos, I was more lyk good for them . Living for them moment hmm I suppose your right, but that’s me being honest about how I feel, err maybe I will change as time passes but unless as a brother pointed out if I get my faith and fear and Love God again, Maybe I mite start working for the after-life but now I am not fearful of it.

Sis, Poverty and hardship I am fully aware, both my parents are from 3rd world Countries, and I have visited and seen the various struggles of life, and many 3rd World countries share same charateristics …. Corruption, poverty but others are worse for instance lets take Congo. I am well aware, but I ask the question Why is there so much poverty? Why is it I am able to live such a better life to say the least? I guess, I’ll just generalise to 1 topic– Capitalism.

Hang on, you're 'serious' with her buh you dont find stuff like thas as even relevant. Bro, you cant just pick and choose stuff that you want to practice. Islam is COMPLETE, not partial. & We can't make halal what is completely and utterly haraam. Zina is one of the wurst sins, and to even be able to comprehend the punishment from it just sends shivers down my spine. You know all I'm saying is, don't keep wif this mentality untill you regret it.

Obv I can’t pick or choose or I would not be here LMAO, but since I’m not feeling the fear, but even then? I can’t answer right now. We’ve been together for well hmm nearly two years now, so I guess she’s a part of my life and well without sounding all “loved up” haha thou I guess I can’t avoid it I luv her too much too leave, she means quite a lot to me.

No steroptyping intended. =) I'm 20, I'm not deluded or ignorant about tha issues within tha community hence clubbing/houseparties appear to be kinda tha same thing. Not that I've been to eny buh from wha I see around me and hearing disgusting pathetic stories whu have attended, same fitnah, same sin, same concept.

Its okey, never said you were ignorant or deluded, though if I did imply it I’m sorry Sis. I ain’t that “ Party Freak” that I use to be I left that a while ago, I can safely say I haven’t been to a Club for well since I stopped so a year I think or so. Though I did go to the clubs/house parties/raves, stayed out during the night, well obv apart frm the dancing to them ravin tunes, n socialising with a lot of people ermm I did try weed for while stopped that. Havn’t touched alcohol so I guess I didn’t take part in the stuff that really messes you up never found that appealing. But yeah all the rest I guess I’ve done it but I left that all behind me now. Not to say I’ve turned away completely, obv I have my gf and I still socialise during the day and nights but go to a snooker hall, movies etc…

Well I first ask Allah to forgive you man, thats proper sad. Are you honestly and saying that bro? Not questioning you buh hand on heart. Because I feel if your able to control someone pyschically to stop commiting some of tha most baddest sins, then so be it. I approve.

Hmm I guess personally I’ve had that done to me, my parents have stopped me physically home, not a pleasant experience and well for me it didn’t solve a thing, I still continued regardless. So sometimes using force isn’t but hand on heart I don’t think I would because one thing I hate is when people are double standard, So if I told my sis not to go etc… best believe she’d throw back at me all the times I did. But then hypothetically if I hadn’t done those bad things then it’d be questionable whether I used physical force or not. I’ll strive to protect her as much as I can but then if she’s adamant n I can’t get through to her is there any point in me physically doing it, maybe I can try it once, just to put fear in her but you can’t keep doing it over and over again. I’m not sure hopefully the situation never arises; I think she’s learnt from my mistakes.

No, no marriage is perfekt. Agreed. Buh a Muslim wife will be better for you. And I hope she converts. I find converts to be beautiful, they are so passionate abouh religion leaving us to feel like proper idiots. They speak abouh Islam like it SHOULD be spoken abouh, not like some poxy set of rules that we 'HAVE to follow. =)

Yes, with a Muslim wife better in terms of the whole religion, raising children etc. But then we mostly get along if we don’t come across religion and raising children, everything else we do agree on I guess but like I said I realise if we both compromise on things meet each other half way and we both show a lot of understanding to one another, no reason why we can’t lead a successful marriage.

Yep I agree about the converts. She’s open minded not all that caught up in atheism but she sure does act like one sometimes. IDK maybe if we married and I kept trying with her maybe she’d find Islam appealing, IDK.

Yeah I look foward to hearing it. May I recommend you strongly watch Arrivals? Youtube it.. I love it. Although there are certain concepts regarding tha coming of tha Mahdi that I dont agree wit, tha underlying message however is just wickad. Also you said you've lost fear in Allah and His punishments. Have you not seen what has happened in Haiti? Du you not fear your own fate. Duna if you remember, couple of years ago, I think '05, dya remember that Tsunami ripped Asia apart. NATIONS got wiped out wif a blink of an eye. Allah says in tha Quran that He will destroy nations and replace us wit new ones that are more God-fearing and better than us. Now, almost 4/5 years on, look at whats left of Haiti. And if you go back to them places , lifes going on like normal, like nothing happened. Allah has made us blind of it, he has wiped it from our memories, forgotton His signs.. Just as He said he would. Scare you nah? God knows wha our fate is... Also all tha signs of Qiyamah are happening right infront of us, every single one unfolding and just as tha way tha Prophet (saw) described, yet du you remain blind to that? Yeah, it was 1400 years ago, buh they are a mirror image of tha state of today, coincidence?

Mhmm will do I’ll look up Arrivals, about the fear thing like I said above right now yes I see Haiti and I do remember the Tsunami. I was actually watching a documentary on channel 4 about it, and the people there said it was an act of God to rid the country of sin that had taken place etc… insightful but like I said fear isn’t working with me I am not blind to the natural atrocities that have taken place, though I feel saddened that people that are going through what I can only explain as very traumatic time, but for now I don’t feel frightened.

 

[Maryan0]

Hell, heaven, angels the afterlife etc. these are all abstract ideas and unless you have faith and believe in these things they will neither frighten nor bother you. Judging from your first post you are looking to be better and improve yourself because you do realize the things that you have gotten involved in have lead you astray. The solution to that problem would be to remove those specific things from your life. If you are sincere in your intentions and sincere in your efforts to better yourself you will improve. If however, you are not sincere in your intentions and you say want to change but are not willing to put in the effort to change then don't expect things to change they will remain stagnant. Being a good muslim and having complete faith does not come easily you seem to think that everything will happen quickly, it wont, it's a gradual process and you need to take the first steps. At the end of the day we are all alone in this dunya and nobody can help you but yourself.
salam

 

[M..x]

Sorry sis I didn’t feel that type of enlightenment from watching the videos, I was more lyk good for them . Living for them moment hmm I suppose your right, but that’s me being honest about how I feel, err maybe I will change as time passes but unless as a brother pointed out if I get my faith and fear and Love God again, Maybe I mite start working for the after-life but now I am not fearful of it.

I think, you need to go back to the basics tbh =)

Sis, Poverty and hardship I am fully aware, both my parents are from 3rd world Countries, and I have visited and seen the various struggles of life, and many 3rd World countries share same charateristics …. Corruption, poverty but others are worse for instance lets take Congo. I am well aware, but I ask the question Why is there so much poverty? Why is it I am able to live such a better life to say the least? I guess, I’ll just generalise to 1 topic– Capitalism.

I think lifes full of obstacles, some people are up there, some people have nothing, any ever step they take is a test by Allah. Some overcome it with their faith whilst others fail. Everyone strives for a better life, you get people with nothing to their name to be the most warm hearted and satisfied people. And it just drops tha question, why? But I guess, depending on what their striving for, each person is different. I think that Allah blessed us with the example of the Prophet (saw) by putting him through such different stages of life. i.e. He remains an example of the poor and tha rich as he himself went through it and through his example, it gives us guidence of how he would be. We need to stop chasing these materialistic goods, cause as with the wurld as we know, they will come to an end.

Also, Like when you go through different stages/difficulties or whatever in your life, you just feel like the only thing that answers your questions and give you some feeling of content is Islam. Nothing else fulfills your needs other than adopting such a lifestyle. You get people saying its controls you, takes over your life, stupid to be following rules written down in a book, buh I'd rather follow that then be puppets of this world, playing by tha games of tha kufaar, leaving us to chase this pathetic evil world. Islam gives you sukoon/peace, really does and its just so wickad. It gives you all tha answers you need. Its only as difficult as you make it for yourself. && I really hope you find it man.

You should consider reading about Hazrat Umar's (ra) reversion to Islam, proper inspirational to say tha least.

Obv I can’t pick or choose or I would not be here LMAO, but since I’m not feeling the fear, but even then? I can’t answer right now. We’ve been together for well hmm nearly two years now, so I guess she’s a part of my life and well without sounding all “loved up” haha thou I guess I can’t avoid it I luv her too much too leave, she means quite a lot to me.

If you want my honest view, 'love' is a sense of attachment nowdays. The desire to be cared for. How lng have you been together? How much have you seen together? I'm not talking about minor ups/downs. And have been tested to GREAT extremes? Honestly...? Cause nowdays relationships dont last.

Its okey, never said you were ignorant or deluded, though if I did imply it I’m sorry Sis. I ain’t that “ Party Freak” that I use to be I left that a while ago, I can safely say I haven’t been to a Club for well since I stopped so a year I think or so. Though I did go to the clubs/house parties/raves, stayed out during the night, well obv apart frm the dancing to them ravin tunes, n socialising with a lot of people ermm I did try weed for while stopped that. Havn’t touched alcohol so I guess I didn’t take part in the stuff that really messes you up never found that appealing. But yeah all the rest I guess I’ve done it but I left that all behind me now. Not to say I’ve turned away completely, obv I have my gf and I still socialise during the day and nights but go to a snooker hall, movies etc…

Daym. Thats all I gotta say. I really sincerely hope you find the right path and attain some for of taqwaa... InshAllah.

Hmm I guess personally I’ve had that done to me, my parents have stopped me physically home, not a pleasant experience and well for me it didn’t solve a thing, I still continued regardless. So sometimes using force isn’t but hand on heart I don’t think I would because one thing I hate is when people are double standard, So if I told my sis not to go etc… best believe she’d throw back at me all the times I did. But then hypothetically if I hadn’t done those bad things then it’d be questionable whether I used physical force or not. I’ll strive to protect her as much as I can but then if she’s adamant n I can’t get through to her is there any point in me physically doing it, maybe I can try it once, just to put fear in her but you can’t keep doing it over and over again. I’m not sure hopefully the situation never arises; I think she’s learnt from my mistakes.

I don't feel I can understand COMPLETELY how you feel. I love my parents, they dint lock me in a room and restrict me from having a life, nor did they let me free 24/7 so I can abuse their trust. Guess it comes to your individual personality. Buh having said that, as you said, your responsible for your own actions. You know, when you were rebelling, there was a reason your parents said all that. They didnt want to just waste their breath you know... Which coulda just made you stop and think. So I guess, hypothetically speaking, if you recognized your parents concern, you kinda woulda been in this situation. Buh I guess your tryna fix it now... =S so blaaaaaahhh

Yes, with a Muslim wife better in terms of the whole religion, raising children etc. But then we mostly get along if we don’t come across religion and raising children, everything else we do agree on I guess but like I said I realise if we both compromise on things meet each other half way and we both show a lot of understanding to one another, no reason why we can’t lead a successful marriage.

Lol. Okay..

You = Practicing + Wife = Atheism = INCOMPATIBLE (Islamically)

IT JUST WONT WORK.

Also to note, remember what you'd be putting your parents through aswell. I guess, it all comes down to whether you consider it to be right or wrong. Only way you guna know that is if you accept Islam as tha way of your life.

Yep I agree about the converts. She’s open minded not all that caught up in atheism but she sure does act like one sometimes. IDK maybe if we married and I kept trying with her maybe she’d find Islam appealing, IDK.

=/ & If she doesnt, you'll get married regardless?

Mhmm will do I’ll look up Arrivals, about the fear thing like I said above right now yes I see Haiti and I do remember the Tsunami. I was actually watching a documentary on channel 4 about it, and the people there said it was an act of God to rid the country of sin that had taken place etc… insightful but like I said fear isn’t working with me I am not blind to the natural atrocities that have taken place, though I feel saddened that people that are going through what I can only explain as very traumatic time, but for now I don’t feel frightened.

With all due respect, I've kinda given my views. I'll leave it to tha rest of tha brothers and sisters to help you find the path of truth. I hope you do proper. Good Luck. I hope Allah guides us all infact and helps us remain steadfast in tha deen. Ameen
P.S Recide Surah Fatihah =)

Wr Wb

 

[aadil77]

After reading Hamza81 reply and following the links which go on to talk about the hell fire :raging:, Brother I don't know how to quite explain it but the promise of eternal hellfire for not repenting my sins etc no longer frightens me, it has no effect on me at all. I think I've said this before but even with the descriptiveness of what happens in hell, I feel nothing. I do believe in the after life i guess but now i'm wondering have i lost my faith in the after life as well? Or is it natural sometimes not feel fear of Hell and God's punishments?

Just to let you know, eternal hellfire is reserved for disbelievers only, a muslim will be punished only for what sins he has left that were unrepented or not forgiven, so it won't be eternal although it may seem like forever.

It can be slightly natural because you haven't yet experienced it, but if you experience direct punishment in this dunya because of something it will put fear into you. Just today a family came to ask for forgiveness from my mums family in pakistan because of what they did to a certain family member, whilst they were driving back they had a bad accident and they broke their knecks, InshAllah we expect more to come because of the injustice they did to this family member.

As you gain more iman you will naturally fear Allah more

 

[S<Chowdhury]

I think lifes full of obstacles, some people are up there, some people have nothing, any ever step they take is a test by Allah. Some overcome it with their faith whilst others fail. Everyone strives for a better life, you get people with nothing to their name to be the most warm hearted and satisfied people. And it just drops tha question, why? But I guess, depending on what their striving for, each person is different. I think that Allah blessed us with the example of the Prophet (saw) by putting him through such different stages of life. i.e. He remains an example of the poor and tha rich as he himself went through it and through his example, it gives us guidence of how he would be. We need to stop chasing these materialistic goods, cause as with the wurld as we know, they will come to an end. Also, Like when you go through different stages/difficulties or whatever in your life, you just feel like the only thing that answers your questions and give you some feeling of content is Islam. Nothing else fulfills your needs other than adopting such a lifestyle. You get people saying its controls you, takes over your life, stupid to be following rules written down in a book, buh I'd rather follow that then be puppets of this world, playing by tha games of tha kufaar, leaving us to chase this pathetic evil world. Islam gives you sukoon/peace, really does and its just so wickad. It gives you all tha answers you need. Its only as difficult as you make it for yourself. && I really hope you find it man. You should consider reading about Hazrat Umar's (ra) reversion to Islam, proper inspirational to say tha least.

Yes, I agree to the point if people changed there mentality induced by the myths of capitalism and greed etc then we could eradicate much poverty etc. But i see your point about faith and so on.

If you want my honest view, 'love' is a sense of attachment nowdays. The desire to be cared for. How lng have you been together? How much have you seen together? I'm not talking about minor ups/downs. And have been tested to GREAT extremes? Honestly...? Cause nowdays relationships dont last.

Err well i think i said it in my last post we've been together for 2 yrs, we've seen quite alot together to be honest... and its not the ups n downs, there been quite alot issues and we both burdened ourselves to help each other through them. Tested to great extremes, hmm nope, but this right here is defo a big issue for us and its testing my love for God and following his will, but also my love for her.

I don't feel I can understand COMPLETELY how you feel. I love my parents, they dint lock me in a room and restrict me from having a life, nor did they let me free 24/7 so I can abuse their trust. Guess it comes to your individual personality. Buh having said that, as you said, your responsible for your own actions. You know, when you were rebelling, there was a reason your parents said all that. They didnt want to just waste their breath you know... Which coulda just made you stop and think. So I guess, hypothetically speaking, if you recognized your parents concern, you kinda woulda been in this situation. Buh I guess your tryna fix it now... =S so blaaaaaahhh Lol.

Yep all about individual personality, mhmm of course I blame no one but me, there could be factors but at the end of the day it all comes down to me making them decisions because no one else did. I recognise them now with hindsight there concerns, yeh but at that time what they were saying didn't seem to be a big deal. To be honest when i look back at it, i was a pretty difficult teen to be honest, i think any parent would of had problems getting through to me ....

Okay.. You = Practicing + Wife = Atheism = INCOMPATIBLE (Islamically) IT JUST WONT WORK. Also to note, remember what you'd be putting your parents through aswell. I guess, it all comes down to whether you consider it to be right or wrong. Only way you guna know that is if you accept Islam as tha way of your life.
=/ & If she doesnt, you'll get married regardless?

Yes, i know the effects it will have on parents if I do marry her, I've seen what happens to other brothers who marry somone who's not muslim, in terms of community etc its all bad, but then I've seen many who've continued practising Islam and had a Christian wife for instance, it makes think if it works for them it could work for me.

With all due respect, I've kinda given my views. I'll leave it to tha rest of tha brothers and sisters to help you find the path of truth. I hope you do proper. Good Luck. I hope Allah guides us all infact and helps us remain steadfast in tha deen. Ameen P.S Recide Surah Fatihah =) Wr Wb

I know someone whus going fru this phase also, and I jsut wanted to kinda get an insight into your thinking =)

mhmm thanx , hope you got a better understanding and insight from me about that someone who's going thru this. N i'll post after i discussed da issues u raised wiv her next week, but tc sis.

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

You need to get rid of the SIN in your life. Go to a mosque, get into contact with someone who is either a revert or a muslim who didnt adhere to Islam till later in life. The mosque will and should be able to put you into contact with someone who can help you sift through your reservations.

Im going to be blunt here because frankly Im getting tired of giving "fluffy" advice in the hopes that it wont hurt the person im giving it to but thats not working.


Your girlfriend is and will be your undoing if she continues to be a part of your life.
Physical sin is linked to your relationship with her. You have to find a way to get out of that relationship.


Until you do that, there will be no point in you praying or going to mosque or trying to find the right path if you live in sin.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

You need to get rid of the SIN in your life. Go to a mosque, get into contact with someone who is either a revert or a muslim who didnt adhere to Islam till later in life. The mosque will and should be able to put you into contact with someone who can help you sift through your reservations.

Im going to be blunt here because frankly Im getting tired of giving "fluffy" advice in the hopes that it wont hurt the person im giving it to but thats not working.


Your girlfriend is and will be your undoing if she continues to be a part of your life.
Physical sin is linked to your relationship with her. You have to find a way to get out of that relationship.


Until you do that, there will be no point in you praying or going to mosque or trying to find the right path if you live in sin.

Don't worry i don't mind your bluntness rather admire it, and you didn't hurt my feelings.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Thanx to all the brothers and sisters who have helped, its been a week since i posted this up and alot has changed for the better i hope. At first i was a bit sceptical about all this :hmm:, but i came here with an open mind....and the past day or so, i began to enjoy learning about Islam and rather enthusiastic about it , actually understanding what was being said to me .

Today after friday prayer, i plucked up the courage to actually approach my Imam and ask for some guidance, he was more than helpful :statisfie and i did meet some Muslim converts after prayer and helped with my issues.

I am not saying everything is solved far from it, I'm still in two-minds about my relationship with my gf, though i tried to limit contact with her. And i still need to build more knowledge about Islam, but i think i found the right path.

Guess i wanna say BIG thank you to everyone who replied and I'm glad i joined IB, trust me there were alot of choices of Islamic forums when i searched it in google LMAO.

 

[sevgi]

I had written you a long long post and you responded with some question I cannot recall at present. I just wanted to appologise for not getting back to you.

Please feel free to ask again, if you remember, or contact me whenever. Perhaps we could help eachother out with some of our issues.

When I was really young, I'd ask my mum "does Allah love me?". She'd say "well, that depends...do you love him?" I'd say "yes, lots!" and she'd say "well he loves you lots too then."

I guess what Im trying to say is sometimes we do things that Allah frowns upon...but we still love him on the inside. And technically, its easy to say "well if you loved him you wouldnt do it"...but sometimes our faith and our islam on a practical level are not consistent with eachother.

Youve taken a step towards him...know that he is always one step ahead of you. That is, you took that step coz he wanted you to and youre winning this battle this time inshallah. Keep it up. I for one am happy for and proud of you.