I just wanT it to end

AnonymousPoster

AnonymousPoster

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i just want to die i dont want to live this life i keep wishing and praying to Allah when im sad and depressed for him to take my life and at the same time im scared that as i keep saying that to Allah soemthing bad may happen to me as i must sound so ungreatful to Allah.

But the way i feel i wouldnt care if i died or lived sometimes i keep hurting my self so that pain would hurt somewhere else. Im sick and tired of crying and feeling so low and not caring about the effects its having on other people to see me like this. But there is not a week goes pass without tears and its been like this almost year now. Some days things seem to get better and somedays i just loose hope. And through all this i know Allah has tried to help me but im just to ungreatful to appreciate anything.

I know im an impatient person and imnot handling the tests allah has given me very well. But i feel so close to suicide sometimes i mean i mite end up going hell anyway even though i am trying to be a better muslim but i just cant get over some of the things that i have done in the past. i could never forgive my self i feel ashamed to look at my self in the mirror it torments me when i think of those things i just wanna kill my self i dont care about anything else.

When i look around me i see some really good muslims and when i see sheikhs or young innocents youth i think to my self i could never be good as them they trully are so devoted and they trully deserve good in this life and hereafter. Where as me i feel like no matter what i do it would never be good enough anyways i cant even please the people in this world how can i possibly please Allah.

How can i expect allah to love me if the people in this life knew everythign about me the way i think the way i am it makes me wonder what would those people really think of me. Would i really have the friends and family that i have. So how can i expect Allah to love and forgive me when he knows everything about me.

I just dont wanna live anymore more i live as each days go pass im scared i may do more damage i dot want to hurt no body but some way or another i seem to manage a good job of it.
 
Blessings and peace be with you AnonymousGender;

I am so sorry to hear of your depression, I shall keep you in my prayers, but please do not give up hope..

Fit and healthy people do not need a doctor, only sick people need the doctor. Likewise Allah does not have to forgive good people, he only has to forgive people who have sinned, and that has to be most of us.

Again only the people who have faith that the doctor can help them will go to the doctor when they are sick. If you don’t trust in the healing power of the doctor you would not go to him. There are stories of humans forgiving others who have tortured them, or killed their child, or families. If humans can forgive all these things, Allah can forgive more.

Allah is greater than any doctor, and he can forgive and heal your sins, he is the only hope you have.

Healing starts with prayer and asking to be forgiven.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding

Eric
 
huh?

why?

whats so depressing about life?


hmm.. if your healthy, then inshaAllah try looking at life in a more positive way.


make intentions everyday to do good things <-- and just by that alone your whole life will change.



make dua' for me, you sound pious



Assalamu Alaikum
 
Greetings and peace be with you Fighting4Iman;
make dua' for me, you sound pious
Click to expand...
Anon is asking for help in ways that you may not understand, life is not so easy for everyone.

In the spirit of praying for strength when the going gets tough.

Eric
 
Eric H said:
Greetings and peace be with you Fighting4Iman;

Anon is asking for help in ways that you may not understand, life is not so easy for everyone.

Eric
Click to expand...

which is why i want this person to pray for me, i feel this person to be closer to God then i due to the fact that satan is pressuring this person more.

i hope you understand what i mean :)


Peace !
 
AssalamuAlaykum

Think of all that you have going for you, think about how blessed you are sis....I'm sure you have much more things to smile about than you have to be upset about. Count the blessings that Allah (swt) has bestowed upon you and smile in the knowledge that He (swt) has chosen you to test...He chose you so that each and every difficulty you go through, each and ever tear that you shed will be an expiation of your sins.

Please try to find the strength within you and may Allah (swt) bestow upon you the peace of heart and mind that you long for. Ameen!

WassalamuAlaykum
 
AnonymousGender said:
i just want to die i dont want to live this life i keep wishing and praying to Allah when im sad and depressed for him to take my life and at the same time im scared that as i keep saying that to Allah soemthing bad may happen to me as i must sound so ungreatful to Allah
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One of the greatest trials we all face. So many of us feel we are ready to die for Allaah(swt) and even want to. But, the trial is in living for Allaah(swt)

Life is not lived for ourselves, it is to taste the Power and Glory of Allaah(swt) and from that be able to come to a sincere choice over our serving or not serving him.

Life is not our choice, hardships and doubts are not our desires, but all of these things serve to help us understand what we must understand to become a true servant of Allaah(swt)


Someday you will look back and view your life and see that all of these things are but footsteps on the path that will lead us to be what we become. We can not choose our obstacles, but we can choose how we face them and overcome them. Some obstacles in life require considerable courage, knowledge and wisdom. But, be assured you do have the ability to overcome any obstacle placed on your path. Be patient and do not get lost in despare, Allaah(swt) will not leave you alone and if you seek, you will find the guidance you need.
 
AnonymousGender said:
i just want to die i dont want to live this life i keep wishing and praying to Allah when im sad and depressed for him to take my life and at the same time im scared that as i keep saying that to Allah soemthing bad may happen to me as i must sound so ungreatful to Allah.

Mufti Ismail Menk says that another definition of kufr IS being ungrateful. you fear Allah[swt] to some degree, use it to your advantage!


But the way i feel i wouldnt care if i died or lived sometimes i keep hurting my self so that pain would hurt somewhere else. Im sick and tired of crying and feeling so low and not caring about the effects its having on other people to see me like this. But there is not a week goes pass without tears and its been like this almost year now. Some days things seem to get better and somedays i just loose hope. And through all this i know Allah has tried to help me but im just to ungreatful to appreciate anything.

hard to respond to this part, but none of us are perfect...

I know im an impatient person and imnot handling the tests allah has given me very well. But i feel so close to suicide sometimes i mean i mite end up going hell anyway even though i am trying to be a better muslim but i just cant get over some of the things that i have done in the past. i could never forgive my self i feel ashamed to look at my self in the mirror it torments me when i think of those things i just wanna kill my self i dont care about anything else.

when you err, make tawbah...pray 2 rakah and seek forgiveness. ask Allah[swt] for the strength not to repeat things.

When i look around me i see some really good muslims and when i see sheikhs or young innocents youth i think to my self i could never be good as them they trully are so devoted and they trully deserve good in this life and hereafter. Where as me i feel like no matter what i do it would never be good enough anyways i cant even please the people in this world how can i possibly please Allah.

all you have to do is try! no matter how much you reach out to Allah[swt], He reaches back a greater distance!

How can i expect allah to love me if the people in this life knew everythign about me the way i think the way i am it makes me wonder what would those people really think of me. Would i really have the friends and family that i have. So how can i expect Allah to love and forgive me when he knows everything about me.

this is actually why i decided to respond. Mufti Ismail Menk in his "Abdud Dunya" lectures reminds us: if Allah[swt] wanted creatures who do nothing but obey Him, He[swt] has the Angels. if He[swt] wanted creatures who do nothing but disobey, He[swt] has the shaayaltin.

http://www.nazirakoob.com/menk/Vol2.html#Part8

digressing slightly, Dr. Bilal Philips, in his "Foundations of Islamic Studies" video series, discusses how the evil of Iblis's temting Adam[as] brought about a great good! the "Returning to Allah[swt] is a great act of worship! in fact, Dr Philips mentioned an hadeeth where the Prophet[pbuh] said that if mankind didn't sin, Allah[swt] would have eliminated us and brought a people who would!

http://www.bilalphilips.com/bilal_pages.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=288
(bottom of the page, part 1)

we ARE NOT perfect! the more you come to know Allah[swt] and ponder over Him, the more you will consider your own shortfalls. that's OK, ONLY Allah[swt] is Perfect! you don't have to be "as good" as anybody else!

I just dont wanna live anymore more i live as each days go pass im scared i may do more damage i dot want to hurt no body but some way or another i seem to manage a good job of it.
Click to expand...

:sl:

you can only harm yourself, you cannot harm Allah[swt]. ask Allah[swt] for patience and knowledge and the strength to implement both!

i recommend these lectures:

Hopes in Your Aspirations for Jannah:
http://www.nazirakoob.com/menk/Vol1.html#Part7

Examinations of Sabr...Pass or Fail:
http://www.nazirakoob.com/menk/Vol1.html#Part4

Recognise the Greatness of Your Creator:
http://www.nazirakoob.com/menk/Vol2.html#Part5

and this amazing set of lectures by Jamal Zarabozo:

http://www.kalamullah.com/al-fatihah.html

May Allah[swt] make it easy on you! May He grant you Sabr and wisdom! May He grant you the strength that you need! and May He help you help others after! Ameen!

:w:
 
Believe me I do not choose to feel this way its not the most enjoyable feeling waking up every morning with an emptiness and feeling so low and down how am I suppose to feel when I don’t even know what is expected of me im always getting told do this do that like my feelings don’t even count I don’t even have feelings im just suppose to get on with things and put all the feelings I have behind me like they don’t bother me. No body knows or tries to understand how its like to be in a marriage which makes you feel so alone and depressed that thought of being with the person is enough to bring your world down never mind being with them. The things that happened torments my mind cant get round to the idea that it has happened but every body just expects to me give my self to this person not even caring how it makes me feel. Instead tell me it’s a big sin and I would never be forgiven for it. How am I suppose to repent for something that I keep doing no matter how hard I try I just wana stay far away. Am I just suppose to live without any feelings jus be their for the sake of being their just live for the sake of living.
 
AnonymousGender said:
i just want to die i dont want to live this life i keep wishing and praying to Allah when im sad and depressed for him to take my life and at the same time im scared that as i keep saying that to Allah soemthing bad may happen to me as i must sound so ungreatful to Allah.

But the way i feel i wouldnt care if i died or lived sometimes i keep hurting my self so that pain would hurt somewhere else. Im sick and tired of crying and feeling so low and not caring about the effects its having on other people to see me like this. But there is not a week goes pass without tears and its been like this almost year now. Some days things seem to get better and somedays i just loose hope. And through all this i know Allah has tried to help me but im just to ungreatful to appreciate anything.

I know im an impatient person and imnot handling the tests allah has given me very well. But i feel so close to suicide sometimes i mean i mite end up going hell anyway even though i am trying to be a better muslim but i just cant get over some of the things that i have done in the past. i could never forgive my self i feel ashamed to look at my self in the mirror it torments me when i think of those things i just wanna kill my self i dont care about anything else.

When i look around me i see some really good muslims and when i see sheikhs or young innocents youth i think to my self i could never be good as them they trully are so devoted and they trully deserve good in this life and hereafter. Where as me i feel like no matter what i do it would never be good enough anyways i cant even please the people in this world how can i possibly please Allah.

How can i expect allah to love me if the people in this life knew everythign about me the way i think the way i am it makes me wonder what would those people really think of me. Would i really have the friends and family that i have. So how can i expect Allah to love and forgive me when he knows everything about me.

I just dont wanna live anymore more i live as each days go pass im scared i may do more damage i dot want to hurt no body but some way or another i seem to manage a good job of it.
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I can't believe you're going thru the same **** as me, I feel like dieing aswell, as everyday goes by the damage gets worse and it doesn't get easier to stop sinning, I feel i'm better off dead. I'm on the verge of giving up hope, but I know I can't, so I have to keep going thru this ****
 
AnonymousGender said:
:sl:


http://islamtoday.com/show_sub_section.cfm?main_cat_id=17&sub_cat_id=0
http://islamtoday.com/show_quest_section.cfm?main_cat_id=8&sub_cat_id=53

http://islamtoday.com/discover_islam.cfm?cat_id=6&sub_cat_id=54
Click to expand...

Thank you for your quotes but its very hard to be loving and caring towards somebody who you know whether you like it or not you have to spend your life with them no matter what has happened before it. Above all every expects you to make everythign alright and im expected to suffer klike this otherwise not only i be hated by the people but also Allah. Believe me i pray and i pray for my heart to go towards the person but it just doesnt happen.
 
When I feel down, sometimes I will say things like "I can't take this life anymore, oh why do I live" lol.

But I know that I won't actually attempt to take my own life. I hope u don't either.

MashaAllah the way this all bothers u so much shows that u have imaan. May ALlah grant u relief from ur hardship ameen.

Repent.
 
though we may want to escape life, "end life", terminate life wateva we can not, we must bare this dunya... keep trying to do good deeds even if you fall somtimes keep trying and concentrating on doing that and before long you will see the time has come to return...alhamduliah i think it is better to not be in luxuary all happy and rosy in the dunya as being in hardship etc constantly fuels the desire of akhira :)

wa salam
 
Asalam alaikum,
I am so sorry to hear how depressed and hard you are on yourself.
Suicide is definetly NOT the answer, you will go to hell and also you really really need to also think about your family and friends you are leaving behind, this will leave them feeling such a guilt that you would make them suffer too. Please don't give up. Yeah you can look at the other muslim bro's and sisters and think they might seem perfect, but you really don't ever know, they have things going on inside too, and some are suffering the same as you. Beleive me what looks so great on the outside might just be thier way of dealing.
Try to make a resolution, to become stronger, pray and just cry and just pour you heart out to Allah, he is listening. He wants to be thier for YOU! Life does suck for most of us in a lot of ways, and beleive me that we ALL have done things that we wish we could forget and to never have had happen. But you have to somehow put your past to rest and realize yes you made some mistakes, maybe big ones, but you don't have to judge yourself on what you did in your past. You are not characterized by what you did, and you can always make yourself stronger and better. It will never be easy, you have to take it day by day and surround yourself with some very strong role models and a good support system, and let them in so they can help and be there for you.
YOU do mean alot to the people in your life and they love you.
I have had a few close people to me try to commit suicide and I thank Allah for not letting them succeed. Even while they were lying in the hospital afterwords, they were happy that they didn't succeed and die, even though they still thought everything sucked, they were happy not to be dead and eventually things did get better.
You can pm me anytime, Sorry this is rambling on and on, I just had so many thoughts I wanted to share with you and they came all at once.
 
:sl:
AnonymousGender said:
i just want to die i dont want to live this life i keep wishing and praying to Allah when im sad and depressed for him to take my life and at the same time im scared that as i keep saying that to Allah soemthing bad may happen to me as i must sound so ungreatful to Allah.

But the way i feel i wouldnt care if i died or lived sometimes i keep hurting my self so that pain would hurt somewhere else. Im sick and tired of crying and feeling so low and not caring about the effects its having on other people to see me like this. But there is not a week goes pass without tears and its been like this almost year now. Some days things seem to get better and somedays i just loose hope. And through all this i know Allah has tried to help me but im just to ungreatful to appreciate anything.

I know im an impatient person and imnot handling the tests allah has given me very well. But i feel so close to suicide sometimes i mean i mite end up going hell anyway even though i am trying to be a better muslim but i just cant get over some of the things that i have done in the past. i could never forgive my self i feel ashamed to look at my self in the mirror it torments me when i think of those things i just wanna kill my self i dont care about anything else.

When i look around me i see some really good muslims and when i see sheikhs or young innocents youth i think to my self i could never be good as them they trully are so devoted and they trully deserve good in this life and hereafter. Where as me i feel like no matter what i do it would never be good enough anyways i cant even please the people in this world how can i possibly please Allah.

How can i expect allah to love me if the people in this life knew everythign about me the way i think the way i am it makes me wonder what would those people really think of me. Would i really have the friends and family that i have. So how can i expect Allah to love and forgive me when he knows everything about me.

I just dont wanna live anymore more i live as each days go pass im scared i may do more damage i dot want to hurt no body but some way or another i seem to manage a good job of it.
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Aaaw im deeply saddened to hear about your depression, but keep looking ahead. This life is a test, its not going to be easy, and sometimes you might just give up, but this would mean you' ve failed your test. Commiting suicide isnt going to help, ill make it worse for you, how will you answer to your Lord.
Repent
and do dhikar
Where as me i feel like no matter what i do it would never be good enough anyways i cant even please the people in this world how can i possibly please Allah.
Click to expand...

^ Dont under estimate Allah, he truly knows what lies in your heart, have the right intentions, this life is not about pleasing people its about pleasing Allah Swt.
Inshallah Allah gives you strenth to overcome this,
your in my duaas.

:w:
 
How are you feeling today? Better I hope!

Please remember none of us is perfect! It might appear to you that way but we are all saints and sinners. Have you ever prayed to the Comforter, GOD the Holy Spirit, for healing of spirit? Now might be a good time to do this.
 
you can pm me as well i would really love to talk to you because i have been there before where life was so hopeless that i felt i had to get out. but things have gotten better for me now, i went for 4 years with nothing but pain and i suffered so much. but now i am so happy to be alive, and i realize that even though in life you might have to go through dark tunnels sometimes and it looks like there is no end, at the end there is always a light. always keep that in mind and never forget that allah is always with you and always will be no matter what:) i have at last found that wonderful light, and i pray to allah that you will find it too^_^may allah guide you and make things easy for you:)
 

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