I keep sinning, again and again.

Awww I really feel for you. This is a hard situation to be in.

This relationship is hurting you dear. It's hurting you.
You deserve better.

This reminds me of a Muslim friend.
She is somewhat similar to you as she doesn't wear a hijab either.
At least you acknowledge the existence of the Lord, she doesn't at all.
Anyway this friend of mine is in a relationship with a Hindu man.
They've been together for over 2 years now and despite all the hurt and pain,
she can't seem to dump him.
He's threatened to kill her (held her at knife point), cheated on her on numerous ocassions, is engulfed in enraged jealousy, yet she sticks to him like glue.
I don't understand it.
I really don't.
You say you love him.
What is this "love" you speak of?
Firstly, address the insecurities you may be feeling, that is probably the only
reason you're with him.
You.Deserve.Better.
Everyone does.
 
:sl:

Thank you so very much for replying. Sorry I haven't had a chance to come on here I've been going through so much pain.

Maybe whatever has been happening to me in the past few days is for the best. But I'm finding it so hard to take in.

I found out he is seeing another girl, whom he is serious about. I found out over the weekend and I'm devastated :enough!:

I was suspicious for a very long time, but reality always hits harder. I know you are all going to say that your happy it's happened and in the long run it's better for me. But how do I cope with the present situation and the state I'm in? How can I go through this hell all over again? this is killing me and I can't eat properly. I'm lost so much weight within a few days.:cry:

Will Allah SWT help me through this even though i havent been steadfast in prayer? imsad

I will go home and pray tonight, pray for peace in my heart. Ya Allah, how will i ever move on from this man, he has destroyed my inner being. :enough!:
 
Read the Quran every day, it will increase your imaan. Then you will realize that there is nothing more important than Islam. You will find it much easier to deal with your pain.
 

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