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Thread: i need your help
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salaam

well basically i got this problem with when am upset over something i normally keep it to my self, and i dont like some one speaking to me or ask me for anything and at the same time am not telling them what is wrong with me. At home whenever my mum upsets me about something i dont tell her even if she askes me million times what is wrong. And when she askes me for something and i have to reply, I reply back to her in an angrily way. she then starts shouting at me or beating me to not speak to her in that way, but seriously i cant control myself. I cant talk softly when am really angry can I. And ye i would have told my mum what is wrong with me if she actually would understand me but whenever i do i always get the blame and its always me thats wrong and starts shouting at me aswell, so i then regret telling her in the first place and say to myself i shouldnt have told her.

please help, how can i control myself in talking softly even when am angry. I tried reading quran to calm myself down but it doesnt work for me.
 
wasalam!

Well, sometimes I got this problem too! Esp. when I am really tired and people try to talk to me Whenever this happens to, I keep doing Dhikir! Say, Audu' billahi minash shaytaan irajeem! It will insha'allah help you! You heart will be calm insha'allah!
 
You seem to have the odd belief that just reading the Qur'an will calm your angry soul. But if you feel no attachment to the words you're reciting, it won't have the ability to soothe your insides. The words and letters aren't magic, they're magic when you turn them into magic. Not literally speaking, of course.

If it's pent up anger in need of release, talk to someone else. Write a diary, blog, join the local gym or whatever.

You're probably a young kid who wants to be understood, but won't take the first steps toward it. You must first understand to be understood.
Ah, such cliché words. Yet they're truly beautiful.
 
Dua's Dua's and Dua's....

and also remembering the things ur mother did for u when u was a child.
 
I suggest that you softly tell your mother what is bothering you when she asks. Don't shut her out, you might even be surprised at how she reacts. Tell her in a polite manner what is on your mind and if you get emotional (as in cry) don't be afraid to as it is just telling your mother how strongly you feel/affected by the situation.

With regards to anger, seek refuge in Allah and if you are standing, sit down. If you are sitting, lie down. Also, you can make wuzu with concentration.

Is there anyone else in the family you can talk to if you feel it is hard to speak to your mother, like father, sibling? Get them to try to make your mother understand? InshAllah everything will work out.
 
I tried reading quran to calm myself down but it doesnt work for me.
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Its not the Quran that doesn't work- rather it is your self and heart that is covered with sins that prevents the light of the Quran effecting you.

Hence Allah say "This is a Book with out any doubts Guidence for those who fear thier Lord"

So the pre-requisite for the Quran to "work" and benefit you is that you have to be God-Fearing/ God-Conscious in the first place.

Allah Knows Best
 
this happens with most people, it happens with me too but i control infront of an elder or parent. okay you have to learn how to control okay when speaking to your mother because whatever problems your going through, you must be patient and turn to Allah for help...

i don't know how old you are but im guessing your quite young just remember before you feel yourself getting hot headed infront of your mum, just think that she carried you for 9months and gave birth to you in pain and cared for you when you were little. whatever you cried for, she would give you to make you happy and when ever you hurt yourself, she cuddled you.

just remember these little things but everybody makes mistakes an as for other people when you are quite infront of them, it tends to anger some people also so if you just open up to them, you might be suprized, they could help an awful lot.