I think I'm in love with my wife's best friend

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Gosh!!! I wish she never came into my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a different person, my wife has noticed too!!!!!!!!!!!! She knows I'm down and moody and home. I keep taking it out on her and snapping.:raging:

dont do that it'll make matters worse because in turn she'll get angry and frustrated at you and the communication between the two of you will turn sour <---not good at all for your marriage.

seriously, why dont you amend your marriage by taking your wife out somewhere and surprise her...go on a holiday and spend some time out together or something...try to appreciate her and see who the woman is you first fell for...rekindle what you had, and maybe that way you'll see the woman that was always there and fall for her all over again and forget the other one.

 

[Laila01x]

Before i start let me apologise if i am bein harsh....

Firstly...why are you contacting her and seeking attention by sayin you are going to kill yourself!!? Stop acting pathetic and acting like your the one sufferin!
Secondly, lock off all contact with her - i respect the friend a lot by saying she will not come to the house anymore.
Thirdly, your WIFE and you CHILD come first now ok - maybe have a family holiday somewhere - it will do you lot good - and will help bond the relationship.


You ringing her and saying that doesnt make you a man but a moose.

Finally, i know your frustrated but stop taking it out on your wife - she is the innocent one here - how would you feel if you lost her?? The way you are going i wouldnt be surpised if that is the case.

Again, apologise if this sounded harsh - but You need to snap out of it!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Snowflake]

Why is she being so heartless, espcially when I said I will kill myself (by the way id din't mean that, i just said it in anger).

WHAT? This woman, may Allah increase her, is thinking of her sister in islam and not wanting to destroy her marriage and you are calling her heartless? Wah Wah, keya baat hai!

What about you? Do you have a heart? You expect some woman to feel for you when you have done nothing for her.. and yet you yourself don't feel anything for your wife who's been there for you, gave herself to you whenever you desired and are willing to hurt her and ruin her life? She carried your seed for nine uncomfortable months until she suffered to give birth to your offspring. You are indebted to her and this is how you want to pay her back? Get a grip on yourself man, and fall on your knees and ask Allah to save you from the shaytaan. You will get over her if you take the right measures. I pray Allah gives you a speedy recovery from this disease. Ameen. And please don't call this love. It's an insult to those who really love someone.

 

[HopeFul]

I have only one thing to say, sorry if I offend someone but


You are stupid. People like youa re always losers as they have no control over their lusts and look at what all the people are telling you and what are your replies

Theya re sayng stop , dont do it stop dont do it and you keep ons aying i said this to her, that to her n will do this or that.


if you were not going to take advice and keep on bothering her and yoursef then why ask for advice here. just to make this category a gossip place?

 

[syriana]

you fell in lust brother... there is a difference.. Trust me its not worth it pursuing this "lust" , no good will come of it.

 

[al Amaanah]

:salamext:

fear Allah.

 

[kwolney01]

Stay away from her. If she comes over leave the room or go do something else. You mentioned that you love her...but all you said was she always looks like a model and always looks good.

Your married and you are betraying your wife by lusting or as you say loving this girl. Your emotionally cheating on your wife and the best thing to do is stay away from this girl. I would let your wife know what's going on, but try not to hurt her.

Just think about how your wife would feel about this and how you would feel if the roles were reversed.

Stop calling her and talking to her without your wife around. Do not make things harder on yourself by continuing to contact her.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Wow i didn't know i'd get a bashing of this sort :embarrass :exhausted

I've seen her without the makeup, ive seen her in the mornings (when she stays round) and I still have feelings for her. I seriously need to avoid her.

I phoned her today as it goes, and she told me she's been thinking, I asked her what about and she said about the feelings I have for her.
She's decided not to come round anymore and said she will only go and see her friend when I'm working away. Which si fair enough, but I'm going to start missing her. :hmm:

What is wrong with you... you're married talking about another woman in such a way...

Go tell your wife about this and see what happens... if you're so confident then why don't you go tell your kids about this

 

[Intisar]

Just goes to show how pertinent lowering one's gaze (male or female) is.

Cut off all contact. It's obviously the root of the problem.

 

[Rasema]

She's decided not to come round anymore and said she will only go and see her friend when I'm working away. Which si fair enough, but I'm going to start missing her.

Brother, I have to say that your thread made me laugh.
I'm nobody to give you an advice but these feelings you have for her is just sexual attraction. It is in your nature but you are blamed for acting upon your desires. How can you not feel guilty that Allah isn't satisfies with you?
My brain would hurt!
There ar eso many commands to worry about and you are looking the kind of woman that the Prophet,saws,cursed! I f you love the Prophet,saws, you wouldn't "love" her.

You know what to do:
1. gain knowledge about Islam
2. Act upon it.
3. Observe the nature(plants, etc...)

 

[tetsujin]

I didn't read responses after the first page.

I would say you owe your wife honesty above all else. Keeping this from her will hurt your relationship with your wife and her relationship with her friend.

If you can't be honest with your wife, then no one can help you.


All the best,


Faysal


PS: After reading the other pages, it's obvious to me that you need to talk to your wife. Your wife has noticed your mood swings, her friend has stopped coming around. Don't let your wife's suspicions grow. Face the situation, tell her you still love her (as you said in the first post) but that you need some help (which is why you're here).

 

[Raphael]

Please try not to judge me, just hear me out. I'm in a very difficult situation here. I've been married to my wife for 10 years, and have a son of 4 together I love them to bits.

My wife has been friends with this girl for 8 odd years. We all talk and have a laugh together when she come round but over the past 2 years I’ve started getting very strong feelings for her. She always looks like a model, and dresses very smart with her stylish shalwar kameez and her funky jeans and long jumpers. She looks so good all the time and I am so in love with her.

This is not lust, I want to be with her, I love her so much I didn’t realize until a few weeks ago. OK, at first in the past 2 years I just ‘fancied’ her but now my feelings for her are stronger than ever.

I told her this 2 weeks ago and she wasn’t surprised at all. She could tell the way I’ve been looking at her. The thing is, I can’t tell if she likes me too, she’s told me she doesn’t like me in that way and that she would never betray her friend, but her actions tell me different. She smiles and flirts with me as much as I do with her. My wife is very suspicious of us but her friend doesn’t know this.

My wife thinks her friend comes round while shes out but I’ve tried explaining that’s not the case. I’ve tried keeping away form her friend when she comes round but I just can’t help myself. When I see her I just want to go near her, smell her hair, star at her. Whats wrong with me??????? I can’t marry her either coz she doesn’t want to betray my wife.

Hmmmm, some good advise, and some "good advise" here. Aren't you happy to be in the company of such morally superior people? I know it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I always found it aberrant people don't open up more, except for "halal" problems!?

Anyway....


If you do not realise this "model" is toying with you, and loving every minute of it, then please remove that stylish shalwar kameez wrapped blindfold from your eyes and wake up! You may love her, but she probably thinks of you no more than a fat kid does a fairy cake - a light snack! You're going to sacrifice your marriage for a light snack???? Man you didn't even make it to starters and soup! Shame on you!

Feelings are preternatural, and we do not always have control of them. DARN IT, I forgot my company! Where are my manners! Some of us cannot control our feelings. However lucky for us that Allah gave us not just a heart, but a brain!

I have nothing but contempt for the women you described, because she is a snake, one that will kill you with a single dose of death into your heart. The people who suffer - your wife and kid.

Throw away those boyish emotions, be a man, and take care of your family.

We all have faults, but it is how we deal with them that open up the gates of jannah.


May Allah make it easy for you.
Ameen.

 

[~*Fatima*~]

Bro~! Firstly I would say. That Allhumdurillah at least you know that what you are doing is not right. That's why you are approaching us. Inshallah Allah will Help you to right path as you are trying, I will say that you are. I mean how many male come here like this and Confess that they are doing this?
I give you Thumbs up for realizing your bad habit. Now what is needed to be done is pretty much told by our Sis's and Bro's. I know they have answered a bit ruthlessly but they are right~!
What you're feeling is nothing but crush because as you explained you Like her Appearance. Not her personalty~!
Solution:
As I red one Bro or Sis has mention. Get your Wife that kind of clothing. It's the style you like. Ask you wife to do it too. As that's what attracted you.
& Yes, it lust.
As you mention you want to smell her hair and whatever. Pray to Allah AS well that he may save you from doing something Sinfull.

 

[Asiyah3]

As-salaamu aleykum,

I was really sad to read about this, I felt so bad for your wife and for your children. Just one advice, fear Allah bro.

Brothers and sisters let us take this as a lesson

 

[mariyyah]

Mister anonyms,

I always like so much my husband when he always said that there is no physicall difference between women to women because hes right we are all the women we got same things , Bring any ugly women put make up on her face change her hair colour and gives her nice dress she will look more than a model .

You said you saw her in the morning without make up i will give you a secret that all women do it in the morning pretending that there is no make up on their face and they are natural , they can wash their face and put a little font de teint and powder cover all the mistakes and put a little bit kohol and lipsticks and you can see her as a natural beauty without noticing any make up an other thing some women they sleep with make up and when they wake up in the morning even you see them or they wash their face still the make up there as a little but attractive so thats all tricks believe me .

Why not buy nice attractive clothes to your wife and nice make up and ask her to do it for you believe me it will make sense,

I blame your wife as well because she allowed this stupid idiot woman to stay with her while you are at home and also may be she doesnt care of her look but just a little notice and reminder from you could save the story and marriage.

The worst is what you are doing is zina and is the biggest sins in the islam and ALLAH SWT does not forgive it easily and you should be stoned in this dunya waiting for your punishment in the hereafter

repent to ALLAH SWT and ask ALLAH SWT to forgive you and protect your marriage and ignore this woman is only sheytan makes her attractive in your eyes but in reality shes not not you know why because sheytan enjoy to put you in his list and to take you with him to jahannam the hell he doesnt wanna go by himself but he wanna take all the people who follow him

think of ALLAH SWT and your son and wife and ALLAH SWT gives you hidaya ameen

 

[cat eyes]

Mister anonyms,

I always like so much my husband when he always said that there is no physicall difference between women to women because hes right we are all the women we got same things , Bring any ugly women put make up on her face change her hair colour and gives her nice dress she will look more than a model .

You said you saw her in the morning without make up i will give you a secret that all women do it in the morning pretending that there is no make up on their face and they are natural , they can wash their face and put a little font de teint and powder cover all the mistakes and put a little bit kohol and lipsticks and you can see her as a natural beauty without noticing any make up an other thing some women they sleep with make up and when they wake up in the morning even you see them or they wash their face still the make up there as a little but attractive so thats all tricks believe me .

Why not buy nice attractive clothes to your wife and nice make up and ask her to do it for you believe me it will make sense,

I blame your wife as well because she allowed this stupid idiot woman to stay with her while you are at home and also may be she doesnt care of her look but just a little notice and reminder from you could save the story and marriage.

The worst is what you are doing is zina and is the biggest sins in the islam and ALLAH SWT does not forgive it easily and you should be stoned in this dunya waiting for your punishment in the hereafter

repent to ALLAH SWT and ask ALLAH SWT to forgive you and protect your marriage and ignore this woman is only sheytan makes her attractive in your eyes but in reality shes not not you know why because sheytan enjoy to put you in his list and to take you with him to jahannam the hell he doesnt wanna go by himself but he wanna take all the people who follow him

think of ALLAH SWT and your son and wife and ALLAH SWT gives you hidaya ameen

thats right sis we women don't even have to say anything to lie you know:giggling: we wear high heels to make us look taller we dye our hair and its not even our natural colour and the make up is the biggest lie of all because these silly men think it looks natural hehehahehahehaaa