I told my mother about converting to Islam....

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JakeTruthSeeker

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i tried to tell my mother yesterday about my deen,and she told me that the catholic church is always right, even if there wrong




she told me its always been the oldest church, (which thats a Lie too), and if i were to become a muslim, i'd be commiting blasphemy




of the holy ghost, and that i'd go to hell for eternity and that i would never be forgiven, even if i did come back to catholic church




and she told me that i'd be better born in a cave practicing voodoo than be a hellbound Muslim convert




she's such a hypocrite, according to the catholic church, she's going to hell to cause, she's in "Mortal sin", she divorced and remarried




without going thru the catholic church, she got married by a Minister to my stepdadstepdad, she tells me i'm doing voodoo, wow the Irony!, almost every catholic holiday and tradition is from pagans.
 
Salaam / Hello Jake. Peace Be Upon You.

Our mom's are such amazing woman. They have gone through a lot of pain giving birth, raising us right, and eventually letting us go away from their nests to start our own lives and family.

Please let your mom know that you love her, even though you are in the process of conversion to Islam. She may not be happy with your decisions but you are her son and she will always love you. So tell her you love her, maybe hug her, or write her a letter saying what a great mother she was to you. You are making a choice of religion, not family.

Few quotes from the hadith about our Mothers:

1. The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).


2. A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).


3. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).


4. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).


5. It is narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother (Bukhari, Muslim).

So keep your mother and family in your prayers to Allah Subhanahuwatallah. Because anything is possible Inshallah for the best.
 
thank you!, it made my first Eid a little better, now i dont feel as Alone, but i do love her so much, her birthday is coming up and i think i might buy her a Quran and leave a note in it, and buy her a Hijab in her favorite color. I Said a Dua for her last night that she and my entire family would understand Islam and be moved by it, she wants me to keep going to catholic church with her, i will because all the Prophets (peace be upon them all), told us to honor our parents.

hope you and your family are having a Good Eid.
 
Assalaamu alaikum Jake,


It's wonderful that you want to do something nice for your mother, but I question whether giving her a Qur'an and headscarf right now is the best idea.


As a mother with adult children, I can tell you that young people can be pretty in-your-face sometimes.They question everything you've taught them, test the limits of your tolerance, and are generally rather self-centred! Now all of this is a healthy part of their development; they need to define themselves and understand their place in the world. But it can be rather hard on the parents (smile) Good for our own spiritual development, though!


You've just given her a big shock.Maybe one she didn't see coming. And it's probably on top of a lot of other I-want-to-be-myself actions.


Now, as I said, it is good to discover who you are and your relationship to God. But understand that this is not at all easy for your mother. If her Catholicism is important to her, she may be feeling like you have rejected her. She may be feeling pretty hurt and alone right now.


I would suggest, rather than a scarf and a Qur'an, that you try more gentle approaches with your mother. Hug her. Listen to her. Try to think of what she might like (as opposed to what you think she would or should like). Clean up your room better. Make her some meals. Do the groceries. Wash some laundry. Buy her some nice chocolates...


Start doing your prayers, yes (I'd suggest discreetly in your room if you live with her; she will see you at it sooner or later. But don't say anything. Just smile and hug her and ask her if she needs anything. Wait for her to feel comfortable enough to ask). But don't try to force Islamic knowledge on her. (smile) I know you feel fired up and enthusiastic right now.You are feeling so awesome, you feel you need to share Islam with everyone! But (smile) try to restrain yourself a little.


Just show her how Islam is helping you to be a better person. If she is like most mothers, she'll feel reassured and more open to Islam, or at least in accepting that this is an important thing for you. Just give her some time and some love and respect.


Eid Mubarak Jake!


May Allah, the Patient, the Compassionate, Help you to connect with your mother.
 
ill try to be more nice and open to her and show her how my deen is making me a better person, she thinks i'm rejecting jesus, ill try to show to her that i'm learning about who jesus really is.

i'll keep saying duas and ill try to treat her more like how i would treat my future Muslimah wife, InshaAllah, like a Princess.
 
JakeTruthSeeker said:
thank you!, it made my first Eid a little better, now i dont feel as Alone, but i do love her so much, her birthday is coming up and i think i might buy her a Quran and leave a note in it, and buy her a Hijab in her favorite color. I Said a Dua for her last night that she and my entire family would understand Islam and be moved by it, she wants me to keep going to catholic church with her, i will because all the Prophets (peace be upon them all), told us to honor our parents.

hope you and your family are having a Good Eid.
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Dear brother Jake, you have said that you will honor your mother's request of attending church with her as Islam teaches to honor your parents.


While Islam does indeed teach us to honor our parents and honor each and every one of their requests, the condition is that we are not disobeying Allah and doing anything which He has forbidden.


Therefore, I strongly advise you not to fulfill this request of your mother to attend church with her. You must not compromise on the fundamental principles of your faith as a Muslim even if your own mother is requesting you to do so.


I advise you to explain to your mother, in a kind and polite way of course, that you are unable to attend church with her, but that you are willing to make it up to her any other way.
 
Assalaamu alaikum again Jake,


Thanks to brother Ishaaq who made the point about church. I was wondering about how to approach that myself.


I wonder though whether there mightn't be a middle path. Perhaps rather than not going (at least for the next few weeks), you could go with her, but not bow or genuflect to the Cross. And of course, avoid communion. Basically, go with her to show that you care about her and respect her choice of beliefs, but avoid doing anything that would compromise your own.


I haven't done any research on this, so perhaps I am mistaken. This is just an idea that sits better with my heart. Because if she is used to you all going to Church as a family affair, this sudden stopping may cause misunderstandings and tensions between you.


If anyone else on this Forum has any ideas on this, I hope they might share them, as there are many people who might be in the same position as Jake.


May Allah Guide us towards wisdom and sincerity.

P.S. You might want to edit your post and take the personal information about your mother out. Even if something is true, unless it is of benefit for people to know, it is best to cover their weaknesses and things they might not like discussed. (smile) Don't worry. You didn't know. And we all slip up sometimes.
 
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MuslimInshallah said:
Assalaamu alaikum again Jake,


Thanks to brother Ishaaq who made the point about church. I was wondering about how to approach that myself.


I wonder though whether there mightn't be a middle path. Perhaps rather than not going (at least for the next few weeks), you could go with her, but not bow or genuflect to the Cross. And of course, avoid communion. Basically, go with her to show that you care about her and respect her choice of beliefs, but avoid doing anything that would compromise your own.


I haven't done any research on this, so perhaps I am mistaken. This is just an idea that sits better with my heart. Because if she is used to you all going to Church as a family affair, this sudden stopping may cause misunderstandings and tensions between you.


If anyone else on this Forum has any ideas on this, I hope they might share them, as there are many people who might be in the same position as Jake.


May Allah Guide us towards wisdom and sincerity.

P.S. You might want to edit your post and take the personal information about your mother out. Even if something is true, unless it is of benefit for people to know, it is best to cover their weaknesses and things they might not like discussed. (smile) Don't worry. You didn't know. And we all slip up sometimes.
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Of course it depends on the situation, which brother Jake himself knows best. If not attending the church with his mother will cause greater harm and create problems that will make Jake's life or practice of Islam too difficult to bear, then he will be excused to attend the church.


So he will have to make a personal assesment of the situation with honesty and sincerity and then decide if he is in a position to refuse his mother's request to attend the church. From what I know about Western/European family customs and culture in general, his mother might be upset by the decision to not attend the church, but it shouldn't lead to any drastic problems like him having to leave the home.


Based on this general understanding of Western/European family customs and culture I have advised him to politely refuse his mother's request.
 
thank you all

this church she goes, to it has a loft that people can sit in, and she doesnt like sitting up there, i'll sit up, there and not take really part.
btw, i havent formally said shahada and i'm moving out of her house in a couple months for college.

just to clarify, i didnt tell her i was becoming a muslim, we were talking about religion, and she started bringing up hypotheticals.
 
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hey jake it's good to hear that you are doing a good deed here by telling your mom about islam, but remember in our religion we can not force someone to change their religion.

i read many stories of sahaba's and Hazrat Muahammad (P.B.U.H) where their good deeds and good doings forced non muslim to learn about islam and in the end becoming muslim too. and that's the right thing to do, your responsibility is to tell them in alternate ways and by following islam and it's teaching yourself so one day your mom can understand too that she is wrong.

may Allah be with you in such noble cause.ameen

Shukran brother
 

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