I want to convert to islam but my parents hate the religion!

[123akis]

Hello, I am male and 17 years old and I want to convert to islam. It was end of April when I came to this decision. I am currently a greek orthodox christian and I was baptised as a baby, my parents are not religious, they only go church a few times a year and celebrate christmas for the fun of it, not for religious reasons. I have always thought there wasn't something right about christianity, e.g. why pray to Jesus and not god or how can jesus be god. Despite the media, I have never hated islam. Last year I met new friends, 3 of which are muslims. We had conversations about religion and eventually it led me to having thoughts about whether I am following the wrong relgion and whether islam is true. I'll make this clear: They did not force me at all, I have not made this decision to be same as them. After doing lots of research, I came to the decision that I definitely want to be muslim.

Anyways, after deciding that I definetely want to be one, it took me a month to have the guts to tell my parents that I want to be muslim (in May). I knew they hated the religion... it was a very stressfull time! When I told them, it led into a big argument. They were saying hateful things. Here's some of the things they said: My mum thinks that it's the devil's religion and my brother thinks that muslims are trying to take over the world and want to kill everyone. My dad thinks that the quran's scientific miracles are false (he had never read the quran or read about). They also think that muslims hate christians and they think my friend forced me and blamed him saying he's a bad friend.

The next few days after was pure awkwardness. So, the next thing to do is to convince them about islam to remove their misconceptions so that they can accept my decision and let me convert.

So, it took me a few weeks after the argument to even start talking to them about it again. I have had a few conversations about islam with my mum since then. Like yesterday, I spoke about the differences between how muslims believe in Jesus compared to christianity. I had many conversations with my mum about how terrorists such as ISIS are not muslims, and that islam does not teach to kill and that it does not say anywhere in the Qur'an that you must kill. I also mentioned how there's rules if war is required. But still, she does not listen and keeps saying the religion is bad because she says "all I hear on the news is muslims killing everyone"

However, I do admit that in the past I didn't try hard enough to convince them. It wasn't many conversations... but now I am trying hard. Sometimes I find it hard to explain things properly!

Sometimes I don't know what to say anymore Please help me, what's the best things to say? I have got ideas but I wonna hear your answers. I still haven't spoke to my mum about the scientific miracles in the qur'an so I think I should do that next. But what's the best things to say?

I really do want to convert as soon as I can, but doing it secretely is not an option because I live with my parents. So, convincing them is what I must do! I will do all it takes to do this, I won't give up. Sorry, I tried to make this post as short as possible. Thank you for taking your time to read it.

 

[Aaqib]

Hello, I am male and 17 years old and I want to convert to islam. It was end of April when I came to this decision. I am currently a greek orthodox christian and I was baptised as a baby, my parents are not religious, they only go church a few times a year and celebrate christmas for the fun of it, not for religious reasons. I have always thought there wasn't something right about christianity, e.g. why pray to Jesus and not god or how can jesus be god. Despite the media, I have never hated islam. Last year I met new friends, 3 of which are muslims. We had conversations about religion and eventually it led me to having thoughts about whether I am following the wrong relgion and whether islam is true. I'll make this clear: They did not force me at all, I have not made this decision to be same as them. After doing lots of research, I came to the decision that I definitely want to be muslim.

Anyways, after deciding that I definetely want to be one, it took me a month to have the guts to tell my parents that I want to be muslim (in May). I knew they hated the religion... it was a very stressfull time! When I told them, it led into a big argument. They were saying hateful things. Here's some of the things they said: My mum thinks that it's the devil's religion and my brother thinks that muslims are trying to take over the world and want to kill everyone. My dad thinks that the quran's scientific miracles are false (he had never read the quran or read about). They also think that muslims hate christians and they think my friend forced me and blamed him saying he's a bad friend.

The next few days after was pure awkwardness. So, the next thing to do is to convince them about islam to remove their misconceptions so that they can accept my decision and let me convert.

So, it took me a few weeks after the argument to even start talking to them about it again. I have had a few conversations about islam with my mum since then. Like yesterday, I spoke about the differences between how muslims believe in Jesus compared to christianity. I had many conversations with my mum about how terrorists such as ISIS are not muslims, and that islam does not teach to kill and that it does not say anywhere in the Qur'an that you must kill. I also mentioned how there's rules if war is required. But still, she does not listen and keeps saying the religion is bad because she says "all I hear on the news is muslims killing everyone"

However, I do admit that in the past I didn't try hard enough to convince them. It wasn't many conversations... but now I am trying hard. Sometimes I find it hard to explain things properly!

Sometimes I don't know what to say anymore Please help me, what's the best things to say? I have got ideas but I wonna hear your answers. I still haven't spoke to my mum about the scientific miracles in the qur'an so I think I should do that next. But what's the best things to say?

I really do want to convert as soon as I can, but doing it secretely is not an option because I live with my parents. So, convincing them is what I must do! I will do all it takes to do this, I won't give up. Sorry, I tried to make this post as short as possible. Thank you for taking your time to read it.

You're 17 years old, can't you move out?

Anyways, your parents don't hate Islam, but they hate the image of Islam on the media. Why don't you give them the Quran and let your dad/mom read it? And tell them that not all Muslims are the same, and show them how they are Christian killers. Are all Christians killers because of a few christian killers? No.

And do your parents get out of house? If you are going to pray, tell them let's go to the park/I want to go to a friend's house and pray?

Btw, for Islamic miracles, http://www.islamreligion.com/category/34/scientific-miracles-of-holy-quran

Also, let them know that Islam is against killing: Tell them to take a look in this thread (http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/207/viewall/tolerance-of-prophet-towards-other-religions)

May Allah allow your parents be free from their thoughtless hating. Ameen And salam/welcome to the forums.

 

[Serinity]

Just convert, don't think about your parents, convert asap, if you are convinced it is truth.

A Muslim is someone who submits to Allah :swt: 's Will, worships Him alone, etc. You know. Anyways, if you're convinced, convert. Give them the Qur'an to read.

And Allah :swt: knows best.

 

[123akis]

I can't move out yet, I'm still in education (finished school though). Not only do I not have enough money, but I also they won't let me yet. Plus, I don't want to move yet. If I gave them a Quran, they would refuse to read it for sure.

I also can't just go out the house for no reason, I don't even go out much anyway so I can't keep that up every day

 

[Serinity]

I can't move out yet, I'm still in education (finished school though). Not only do I not have enough money, but I also they won't let me yet. Plus, I don't want to move yet. If I gave them a Quran, they would refuse to read it for sure.

I also can't just go out the house for no reason, I don't even go out much anyway so I can't keep that up every day

If you are convinced Islam is truth, convert asap, try to pray in seclusion. may Allah :swt: make things easy for you. Ameen.

Know that Allah knows your trials, and Allah :swt: does not burden a soul beyond their capacity.

sorry for not being of much help, but you could die any second.

And Allah :swt: knows best.

 

[123akis]

Just convert, don't think about your parents, convert asap, if you are convinced it is truth.

A Muslim is someone who submits to Allah :swt: 's Will, worships Him alone, etc. You know. Anyways, if you're convinced, convert. Give them the Qur'an to read.

And Allah :swt: knows best.

Yep, I am convinced 100%. But my concern with that is that if I convert without telling them, I would have to eat the food I am given meaning I would have to eat haram food every day. I don't think giving a quran to them would work, they'll probably refuse to read it

 

[Aaqib]

I can't move out yet, I'm still in education (finished school though). Not only do I not have enough money, but I also they won't let me yet. Plus, I don't want to move yet. If I gave them a Quran, they would refuse to read it for sure.

I also can't just go out the house for no reason, I don't even go out much anyway so I can't keep that up every day

I stated to go at a friends house or a walk?

You're making an assumption, what about if they do read the Quran? And if they don't, why don't you just say "See, you don't even want to read the Quran, why should I listen to your hatred"? Or something along those lines, I suppose.

 

[Aaqib]

Yep, I am convinced 100%. But my concern with that is that if I convert without telling them, I would have to eat the food I am given meaning I would have to eat haram food every day. I don't think giving a quran to them would work, they'll probably refuse to read it

That's the error, bro

Don't assume, go ahead and give them the Quran.

 

[Serinity]

Yep, I am convinced 100%. But my concern with that is that if I convert without telling them, I would have to eat the food I am given meaning I would have to eat haram food every day. I don't think giving a quran to them would work, they'll probably refuse to read it

Hmm, try and ask for fish instead. may Allah :swt: make things easy for you and guide your heartand their heart. Ameen.

Allah :swt: guided you, try to guide your parents to this beautiful religion.

 

[123akis]

Hmm, try and ask for fish instead. may Allah :swt: make things easy for you and guide your heart. Ameen.

I can't, my mum would wonder why I am not eating meat, she cooks meat almost every day. And we get take aways sometimes.

 

[Serinity]

I can't, my mum would wonder why I am not eating meat, she cooks meat almost every day. And we get take aways sometimes.

I know this may be hard, but just take your Shahadah (testimony of faith) and leave it to Allah :swt: . Rely on Allah to soften their hearts. Show your good character, show and prove to them that Islam is not evil, but good, and that it teaches good conduct.

In shaa' Allah (God-willing) their hearts will soften as a result from your dawah (showing what Islam is/representing Islam) blessed by Allah :swt: in shaa' Allah.

Remember - walk to Allah and Allah will run to you. Trust that Allah will make it easy. Do your best. And may Allah :swt: help you. Ameen.

 

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

Masha-Allah (as God willed), brother, that Allah has guided you! Brother, so, I have a few thoughts and others can share their thoughts with you as well on this, and I'm mentioning their names in case they should want to share some insights with you - @MisterK @drac16 @sister herb @Futuwwa @Woodrow.

Different converts have different levels of trials in terms of their family and friends rejecting Islam and/or them. As you know, your parents only know about Islam things that are said in the media. I know it's hard when you know that the negative portrayal in the media doesn't represent Islam; however, you have to appreciate that your parents are concerned for you. Think of your parents being concerned as a sign that they love and be patient with them.

To be honest, at this moment in time, I don't know that trying to convince them is the best decision. Leave them be for some time. Understand that for your family to accept Islam, first you'll need to make duas (supplications) to God for their hearts to be opened to guidance and Islam, and also you'll need to show what Islam is through your character, not arguments.

One of the things that I've learned over time about arguments is that the more you argue with someone, the more someone bitterly holds onto his/her stance and becomes more stubborn; therefore, you have to leave arguments. I know it's going to be hard. However, sometimes to win, you have to swallow the bitter pill of patience and let others continue to think that they've won.

Simply take moments to share Islam with them when appropriate. For example, say one day they're complaining about how children don't respect their parents today, then you can take a moment to interject and share with them information on how Islam gives the highest and best position to parents after God. One day, say, they're complaining about how ISIS are doing evil deeds. Then, say that in the Quran (5:32) how God says that killing one person is as if you've killed all humanity and saving one's person's life is as as if you've saved all humanity.

Your job will be to make them curious about Islam without forcing them to do anything or accept anything. Think about your own self. When has someone forcing you to do anything worked for you? Probably not well. The same thing applies to your family.

Also, you're 17, and that means you're probably a baby in the eyes of your parents; even if you grow up to be 50, you'll still be their baby. And as such, they'll always think they know what is best and right for you; that doesn't mean of course that they know what is best and right for you, but it does mean that you have to be wise in how you handle this situation and maintain a delicate balance of being true to yourself but also giving them all the respect and honor due to them. Do not ever get angry or upset when they say bad things about Islam; that's fine, as you have to remember they're saying those things because they don't know what is Islam really. I know this isn't necessarily what you want to hear, but I know that in my experience, patience will win you what arguments won't.

 

[aaj]

Brother,

If you believe Islam to be the right path then take your shahada and convert. There is no guarantee we'll live to see tomorrow. It's better to be a believer and eat that meat and stuff then to keep going on as a non-believer. All those things are secondary, you should secure your religion first then, rest will come in time. Become a Muslim, and you can tell them when you think the time is right.

Otherwise, keep talking to them. They said all that "stuff they say on news", engage them with logic. Ask them if that is how one learns about any religion? if they want to know more about hinduism tomorrow then are they going to read a book on it or are they going to see what news people are saying about it? how much do these news people know about the religion? Also increase your knowledge on Islam so you are in better position to answer their questions and counter any misconceptions they bring up.

For example, here's some common conceptions you can read on:

http://www.islam-usa.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=319&Itemid=273

you had mentioned them saying Muslims hate christians. Here's one example from the link above:

HOW SHOULD MUSLIMS TREAT JEWS AND CHRISTIANS?

The Quran calls them the "People of the Book," that is, those who received Divine Scriptures before Muhammad (PBUH). Muslims are told to treat them with respect and justice and not to fight them unless they initiate hostilities or ridicule their faith. The Muslims' ultimate hope is that they all will join them in worshiping the one God and submitting to His Will.

"Say (O Muhammad): 0 People of the Book (Jews and Christians), come to an agreement between us and you that we shall worship none but God and that we shall take no partners unto Him and none of us shall take others for Lords beside God. And if they turn away, then say: Bear witness that we are those who have surrendered (unto Him)" (3:64).

 

[sister herb]

I can't, my mum would wonder why I am not eating meat, she cooks meat almost every day. And we get take aways sometimes.

If you can´t avoid to eat haram food, why not tell you are interesting to be a vegetarian? All vegetables are 100% halal. By the way, it´s also very healthy diet anyways.

 

[Akhi_Umar]

Hello there.

Brother this is a very brave move from you Masha'Allah. There are some who are in a similar situation to you, However they convert and don't tell their parents entirely until they're older.

Your parents hatred towards Islam is due to the way Islam is portrayed via the media unfortunately. Many will instantly believe in what they hear from the media without even giving it a thought - The sheep. You however are much different alhamdulillah (Praise be to God) and I applaud you for that.

My advice for you is that you convert to Islam regardless of what your parents say. In Islam we are taught to have the utmost respect for our Parents. We must obey them at all times and also we can't even say as much as 'Ugh' or 'ooft' to them or show any form of disrespect to them, HOWEVER this doesn't mean that you obey them when they tell you to do WRONG. Allah SWT always comes first, So in this case obey Him first, not your parents. Therefore I advise you to convert to Islam.

You can't be 100% sure you live tomorrow or in the next hour, So take your shahadah! That way at least you will be a Muslim for the time being. With regards to eating, can you not eat anything else in the house other than that of which your parents give you? Remember brother, this is about you. Your afterlife is at stake here.

Kindly explain to your parents that the only way we can achieve a solution is if they let you speak. Here explain to them kindly why you want to become a Muslim. Explain to them some of the misconceptions about Islam. Muslims CAN'T kill anyone willy-nilly. Show them this verse from the Quran: "Because of that, We decreed upon the Children of Israel that whoever kills a soul unless for a soul or for corruption [done] in the land - it is as if he had slain mankind entirely. And whoever saves one - it is as if he had saved mankind entirely. And our messengers had certainly come to them with clear proofs. Then indeed many of them, [even] after that, throughout the land, were transgressors.

If they refuse to listen then tell them kindly that you want to be a Muslim regardless and that you want to practice your faith freely. If they let you practice Islam freely then when the time is right continue to give them Da'wah (Call to Islam).

If not then as soon as you can financially afford to move out, I'd do so.

May Allah SWT make matters easy for you and may He SWT open your parents and siblings hearts to Islam, Ameen.

 

[MisterK]

I can't, my mum would wonder why I am not eating meat, she cooks meat almost every day. And we get take aways sometimes.

I currently live with my family, who are unaware of my adopting Islam. To get around this, as almost every supper is meat, often pork, I told them I decided to go mostly pescatarian (vegetarian + seafood). The best part is, it is not a lie. It is entirely true, unless I decide to buy my own halal meat or eat at a halal restaurant (which aren't overly common in my area), I will only be eating seafood and vegetarian most of the time. Besides, too much meat is generally unhealthy, anyway.

Of course, in my case, I've gone vegetarian once before, so it may not be as hard for them to accept as it might be for you.

When it comes to takeaway, or dining in elsewhere, if you get to order your own meal, just be sure to pick a vegetarian or seafood dish, assuming the restaurant isn't halal.

 

[Abz2000]

The rights of Allah who created and cherishes you and to Whom you shall return and be judged over-ride all other rights, as explained in this post:


http://www.islamicboard.com/introdu...im-womans-rights-post2920454.html#post2920454

Quran, Chapter:4, Name:An-Nisa, Verse No:1يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالاً كَثِيراً
وَنِسَاء وَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءلُونَ بِهِ وَالأَرْحَامَ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا

So let no person attempt to illegally hack the conscience of another since Allah's guidance is the best guidance.

Here's an example of a mentor at odds with the guidance of God:

And here's an example of a mentor at peace with the guidance of God:

Although he always remained sensitive to injustice and often foond himself thrown into a ring with opponents, although the bigger picture shows that Allah has no worthy opponent.

Only a few journalists (most notably*Howard Cosell) accepted the new name at that time. Ali later announced: "Cassius Clay is my slave name."[107]Not afraid to antagonize the white establishment, Ali stated, "I am America. I am the part you won't recognize. But get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me."[108]*Ali's friendship with Malcolm X ended as Malcolm split with the Nation of Islam a couple of weeks after Ali joined, and Ali remained with the Nation of Islam.[109][110]*Ali later said that turning his back on Malcolm was one of the mistakes he regretted most in his life.[

Ali converted from the Nation of Islam sect to mainstream*Sunni Islam*in 1975.

In a 2004 autobiography, written with daughter Hana Yasmeen Ali, he attributed his conversion to the shift toward mainstream Islam made by*Warith Deen Muhammad*after he gained control of the Nation of Islam upon the death of Elijah Muhammad in 1975.


Some long journeys, but they got to the straight path before the end MashaAllah : )

Moral:
Individuals need to use their own brains and seek the truth and follow it despite in some cases what their human mentors say, and in other cases what they are told their human mentors say, whether mentors are right or wrong, the judgement before Allah for each individual - is done individually.

 

[Little_Lion]

Back when my husband was alive, he did not want me to convert because of what he had "learned" about Islam from the media as well. I took my shahada anyway and did not tell him until later, so that when I did tell him, he could see that it had not changed me.

Being a mom myself of someone about your age (my daughter is 16) I can say that one of the things that is likely frightening them is that you will become extreme in your views. Doing things that show a huge paradigm shift (a huge, fundamental change in perception) on your part will be scary to them. If you walk up to them and say "I have become a Muslim, and now I have to wake up at 4 AM every day to pray and take time out of my classes to pray and change our mealtimes to pray - oh, and I have to wash before each time on top of that - and I am changing the way I eat and the way I dress and the way I approach everything starting RIGHT NOW, insha'Allah, and by the way Salaam Aleikum and get used to the Arabic!" they are going to FREAK. And probably freak hard.

I would recommend taking your shahada privately, and making small changes in your life to learn about Islam that will not cause them to get upset for the time being, because there is a LOT to learn. You can do a lot to be a good Muslim at 17 under the watchful eyes of your parents without causing them distress. Read and listen to the Qur'an in your room; there's tons of apps for iPhones and Android, as well as web sites that have English translations and recitations. Watch lectures on Youtube. I highly, HIGHLY recommend anything by Yusuf Estes, and especially recommend you start off with his Stories of the Prophets series so you can get some real backbone to Islam. And of course, you can even watch them with headphones on. Be picky in your meals, but don't hammer your fist and say you are only eating halal from now on. Eat what is on your plate (say "Bismillah" to yourself first), except for pork, and do your best to opt for the halal options provided, like eat more salad and seafood and pasta. You can even check fast food restaurant menus online and many places have halal offerings. Start practicing your prayers, because there's a lot to learn there too and no one learns them overnight. Or even in a week. You'd be pressed to have the Arabic even partially down in a month, unless you are an amazing study since you also have to learn parts of the Qur'an in Arabic for your prayers.

Allah wants it to be simple for you, so do not make things difficult for yourself. He knows your intention. And yes, there is truth that the faster you become "a perfect Muslim" the more reward there is, but insha'Allah you also have your whole life ahead of you. Be the best Muslim you can be NOW while still respecting your parents and there is reward in that too. Not to mention your parents will take you much more seriously if they see, in time, that this change in you did not prompt you to run off with an Uzi.

 

[eesa the kiwi]

@123akis
firstly brother congratulations on finding the truth, subhannallah so many people dont make it

brother i am also a revert, my own family reacted very badly when i announced my decision to convert, before islam i had a major drug problem and i wasnt the best example of a human being so they assumed id carry on my nonsense only this time an islamic version

soon however they saw a huge change in me, i cleaned up (nearly 8 years clean from drugs and alcohol alhamdulilah), i quit swearing etc (i had a very foul mouth) and started trying to make up for the evil i had done. While my parents dont really like islam they respect that it is good for me and works well, mum even buys halal meat when i go visit

they point im trying to make is yeah your family will flip out at first sooner or later inshaallah they will see a big change in you and will come to respect your decision. There is so much of islam you can not practise in secret so no matter what flak you cop just come out and tell them
the first week or so will be rough maybe even a month but eventually they will settle down inshaallah. this step will take courage but Allah doesnt test someone with more than they can bear so know you got this bro

the other thing to bear in mind is you are now the ambassador of islam to your family, you are their best shot at seeing the truth and escaping the fire inshaallah. if you hide your islam how are you going to call them to the truth? ive had family members pass away that i didnt really speak to about islam and subhannallah its not a nice feeling



when i reverted in 2009 i just up front and told my family, i could have hid it but i didnt. looking back now alhamdulilah im so grateful i did. It meant i could pray without having to hide, i didnt have to eat pork anymore i didnt have to go to church and watch them commit idolatry, alhamduliah one of the smarter choices ive made

you need to be upfront and tell them, say bismillah (in the name of Allah) and just do it, if you get in trouble, you get in trouble its not a big deal. how many of the youth are upsetting there parents for the shaitaan (drugs etc), dont tell me you cant upset them for the sake of the one who created you Allah swt

 

[noraina]

Assalamu alaykum,

Bro, everyone's situtation is different and you know your own family best. What I will say, whether you hide it or not, say your shahadah and accept Islam without any delay, when you have realised it is the truth you should embrace it as soon as you can.

Maybe you could try and discuss Islam with your parents without telling them yet about you're interest in it, and see their reactions? I'm thinking in the longterm if you told them now it would be easier for you all - I have heard reverts say that initially it's really hard at first, but it gets better after a while. I would think if you have to tell them one day, why not sooner rather than later? Keep in mind not to be too pushy or overbearing, always respect your parents and gently tell them about Islam and your thoughts on it, and if they don't accept at first don't judge them or think badly of them - it may take time and you'll need patience.

With myself, when I began to practise more my family weren't impressed, they thought I'd become too extreme and when they found how I actually improved, they didn't mind so much. You will get plenty of discouragement, but when you turn to Allah swt He will run towards you, the more you aim to obey and please Him the more He will help you. It's up to you too on how they see this change, allow the beauty of Islam to beautify your soul and if your family see that, they might accept it more easily. As well as the dreadful way the media has painted Islam, they'll also worry about losing you, and their opposition might be because of that fear. You have to always show them you are their son, you will always love them, and you're the same person to them - only an improved, Muslim version, that is.