Assalaamu alaikum Striving,
(smile) At your age, I was driving the nuns crazy with questions... and then I moved to Canada, and my life turned upside down. My parents were also from different ethnicities, and I was feeling culture shock, I had to re-learn French (after having blended in finally and learnt perfect English in England!) and then my parents separated, and the in-kids at school were mean to me, and... and... well, a lot of challenges. (smile) So I got pretty angry with God, and thought that God- if He Existed- just couldn't be Good. How could He let innocents suffer?! (smile) The transition to adulthood is a difficult time for everyone. And if then you have identity issues and instability in your family situation... well, it's just that much harder, isn't it?
(smile) So I'd suggest: focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Give yourself time to think. Go for walks in nature. Try to find somewhere to see the stars. Take up a sport. Read books, both fiction and non-fiction. Listen to people when they talk. Listen to a variety of people of different ages. Ask questions. Take time to sleep. Eat good food. (smile) And you will find after a couple of years, that your life will start settling down. And your mind will be clearer, and more focused.
(smile) I listened to Tariq Ramadan speaking once. Did you know, when he was a teen, he wasn't really much into his deen, either? And his mother was Hasan Al-Banna's daughter, and his father was one of Al-Banna's best pupils! But, growing up in Switzerland, he faced some of the same struggles of identity that you and I are facing/have faced. (smile) And then, as he got a little older, he found his faith flowering much stronger and brighter than ever before...
(smile) So, yes. Feeling fluctuations in your faith and having questions and emotions is... well, pretty normal, I'd say.
Anyway, thank you for the gift of sharing your struggles and thoughts with us on this Forum. We all learn from each other, you know.
May Allah, the Source of Peace and Safety, Help us to walk the Path that leads to Him.