IM muslim n im GAY

[MustafaMc]

However, people of faith sin on a daily basis. I suppose the best advice to give in this situation is to reinforce what a homosexual already knows...that active homosexuality is a sin. Other than that all one can do is wish them well in their walk with God.

I agree with you that it is good to make it clear that homosexuality is a sin. I don't know whether or not one is born with a predisposition to be physically attracted to others of the same sex, or if one develops that way during childhood, but he can choose to act or to not act upon those desires. If he chooses to commit acts of homosexuality, he must know that he is commiting a grievous sin before Allah and that he can't just pass it off with an excuse of: "i mean its just the way you were born i suppose so why should we be punished for it."

 

[Whatsthepoint]

Like many sexual deviations acts, There is no cure.. electro-shock therapy as well as other modalities have been tried without much success..
However there are medications like Leuprolide which are used on some to significantly lower their sex drive we are usually talking about sex offenders who agree to enter these trials...

I personally think.. he has some choices to make.. There is no reason to deny oneself sexual pleasure.. when/if he can chanel it to the appropriate gender....

He can do it with whomever he wants be he needs to set his priorities straight, its either proper Islam or sexual life.

 

[Eeman]

He knows marrying her isnt an option:

Do you think homosexuality can be cured?

by cure i was not referring to medicine or therapy or treatment...
these form of acts of deviation are diseases of the heart and the only cure to it is submitting to God fully and asking Allah swt to cure their heart,
what is medicine, therapy or treatment going to achieve them?
are these remedies to protecting yourself from shaytaan?
man Wallah if they were then i'd be a junkie and so would we all be in all these.
but no its not a matter of that whatsoever.
Bro i suggest you prioritise what is more important to you?
is your lust and sexual desires and way of the shaytaan so important and appealing that you are gaining yourself an entry to jahanum or do you want to wake up from the ignorant life that you are leading and aknowledge the TRUTH? why we are here in this world, what is our purpose? How do we achieve that eternal success and what is the best way of leading our lives in this temporary world?

but dont be dishearted bro, before i fully submitted to Allah swt myself i used to have the same mentality as long as i believe in God and one God then its all good... ummmm NO! Alhumdllilah i learnt the very very very hard way but none the less i learnt thats the important thing that i will ever be able to be thankful enough for no matter what i went through. And i too used to commit major sins (no i was not a lesbian) but thats why Allah swt is the Most Merciful so despair not about turning to Him in full submission andnot beig forgiven for it... but remember as i said before repentence is NOT repentance is the act is committed again.

I mean i just dont understand life, living and the world does not evolve around sex!!!!
i dunno maybe cos i am not in your shoes nor a guy so therefore i dont understand but how hard can it be honestly?

 

[جوري]

He can do it with whomever he wants be he needs to set his priorities straight, its either proper Islam or sexual life.

Indeed.. and I have already expressed that the choice is indeed his!

peace

 

[DAWUD_adnan]

This poor person needs help.

May Allah guide you, and save you from eternal loss.

 

[aadil77]

i have a problem . my parents have decided to get me married through arranged marriage but u see i am gay and i cant marry her .. and if i do i would never make her happy and if i tell my parents they will hate him and might never talk to me and probably disown me! i love my family and i will never ever want to live with out them .now i dont understand why Muslims say its haram to be gay when in quran there is no such word for homosexuality or to forbid it. also there is a verse in the quran that says partners but doesnt say it have to be female n a male . . i have went to many imams but they always tell me to be ashamed of my self and dont let the devil deceive me and some other people have told me to leave Islam but i believe in Islam . can anyone prove to me if its actually forbidden . i mean its just the way you were born i suppose so why should we be punished for it.

Alot of people say it was the way they were born and I'm sick of hearing this, I'm not convinced by this because it is a direct accusation to Allah. Since I'm not gay I don't know, but...

How were you raised up, did you play with girls and dolls when you were young? Anything feminine in your childhood or even now?, are your friends boys or girls?

I know this isn't helping, but I just want to know for general knowledge

 

[Whatsthepoint]

Alot of people say it was the way they were born and I'm sick of hearing this, I'm not convinced by this because it is a direct accusation to Allah. Since I'm not gay I don't know, but...

How were you raised up, did you play with girls and dolls when you were young? Anything feminine in your childhood or even now?, are your friends boys or girls?

I know this isn't helping, but I just want to know for general knowledge

Perhaps Allah created them gay as he created the blind, the crippled etc, as a test...?
Not saying that homosexuality is a disability, well it probably is if you're religious.
And don't generalize all gay as effeminate, because they're not. Do you personally know a gay man or gay men?

 

[glo]

I have not seen UNKNOWN08 mention anywhere that he is a sexually active homosexual.
I do however notice, that he has not been back for some time. Perhaps comments and replies here have been too harsh and judgmental ...

For what it's worth, I admire UNKNOWN08's honesty in not wanting to marry a young woman, and possibly ruin her married life.

I pray you find the right way, UNKNOWN08.
As Keltoi said, it is hard for gay people, who love God and want to follow their religion - but are resented by their fellow believers. Many gay Muslims and Christians share that plight with you ...

May God guide you.
Salaam

 

[Eeman]

Oh sis glo your right bless his soul...
sorry bro unknown08 i apologise will Insha'Allah make dua for you.

 

[aamirsaab]

Holy-brown-stained-pants Batman! The thread - it's been completely derailed!

Ok guys (and gals), enough with the gay-talk. Let's either give this dude advice (that doesn't involve making him feel like a turd!) or erm shut yer mooths.

Now, first of all one should make dua to aid you in this time - keep praying and do a lot of dhikr. Also ask for forgiveness etc etc. All in all, remember that thoughts are not considered sins in Islam - only bad actions are.

 

[Keltoi]

Well, obviously marriage would be unfair for both parties involved. The question then becomes what next? Is your family aware of your sexual orientation? Is your desire to remain a Muslim strong enough to stop you from acting upon any homosexual desires? Those are important questions that only he can answer.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

whatever you feel


reject it

for the sake of Allaah


all im sayin

 

['Abd-al Latif]

With a wife you can have children, complete half your deen and attain the pleasure Allah by following the path of His Prophet.

But know - and may Allah guide you - that there was no other nation in the past who went through a more sever punishment then those who practiced sodomy because sodomy is one of the major sins.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Homosexuality is a severe illness and a grave calamity. If it is accompanied by actually committing immoral actions, then it is even worse, because of the sin and abhorrent nature of those immoral actions and their bad consequences in this world and in the Hereafter.

Hence you should focus on how to treat this perversion and save yourself from this destructive evil, more than focusing on whether to conceal it from your fiancée or disclose it to her.

You should realize that there are causes for this calamity, and these causes may be due to what the person affected has done. The one who wants to save himself from this situation should examine these causes and rid himself of them, and do what we advise, otherwise he is approving of and accepting his condition and he does not want to change for the better. Among the causes which may be due to his own actions are the following:

1.

Weakness of faith and remoteness of the heart from love of Allaah, and a lack of fear of His punishment.

2.

Looking freely at beardless youths, and enjoying their beauty and form.

This is the first step towards sin for those who are affected by this disease. Allaah has enjoined lowering the gaze and refraining from looking at haraam things, and the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has enjoined likewise. When he stopped following this command and began to do that which is forbidden, Iblees was able to shoot his poisoned arrow into his heart, and thus destroy him.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Looking is the origin of most of the problems that befall man, because looking generates thoughts, then thoughts generate ideas, and ideas generate desires, and desires generate will, which then becomes stronger and becomes firm resolve, in which case the deed will inevitably be done unless there is something to prevent it. Hence it was said that patience in lowering the gaze is easier than patience in bearing the pain that comes afterwards. End quote from al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 106).

Hence the scholars are unanimously agreed that it is haraam to look at beardless youths, and some of them regard that as more haraam than looking at women.

Imam al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Similarly the scholars forbade a man to look at the face of a beardless youth if he is handsome, whether with or without desire, and whether it is free of fitnah (temptation) or there is the fear thereof. This is the correct view which was favoured by the scholars. This was stated by al-Shaafa’i and the prominent scholars of his madhhab (may Allaah have mercy on them). The evidence for this is that a beardless youth is, in some ways, like a woman; he may be desired as a woman is desired, and his form may be beautiful like that of a woman, and many of them may be more beautiful than many women. The prohibition applies more to them for another reason, which is that in their case there may result from attachment to them types of evil that do not occur in the case of women. End quote.

Sharh Muslim (4/31).

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Looking at the face of a beardless youth with desire is like looking as the face of a mahram or a non-mahram woman with desire, whether the desire is desire for intercourse or the desire to derive pleasure from looking. If he looks at his mother, sister or daughter with pleasure derived from looking like the pleasure derived from looking at a non-mahram woman, then it is known to everyone that this is haraam. The same applies to looking at the face of a beardless youth, according to scholarly consensus. End quote.

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/413) and (21/245).

And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) also said:

The one who looks repeatedly at a beardless youth and the like, or persists in that, and says “I am not looking with desire” is lying, because if he has no need to look, then he is only looking because of the pleasure that he feels in his heart as a result. As for an accidental glance, it is forgiven, if he averts his gaze.

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/419) and (21/251).

The kind of looking with which these sick people are afflicted includes what they watch on satellite channels and what they see in newspapers and magazines, and on websites, of pictures of children and beardless young men, and this is what provokes them to commit immoral actions.

3 – Falling short with regard to obligatory and naafil acts of worship

If the person who is afflicted with this problem prays on time, fulfilling the conditions and obligatory parts of prayer, that will be a deterrent that keeps him from falling into evil and immoral ways. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) prevents from Al‑Fahsha’ (i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse) and Al‑Munkar (i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed)”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:45]

So how about if he regularly performs sunnah and naafil prayers?

4 – Forsaking the Qur’aan and failing to read books about the lives of righteous men and the imams

The Book of Allaah contains guidance, light and healing; it is the best protection for the Muslim against falling into sin and it is the best remedy for the one who does fall into sin.

If he reads books about the imams and biographies of the scholars, he can take them as an example and become familiar with their stories and rise above immorality and evil.

5 – Falling short in seeking knowledge

Knowledge is light, through which one may know what is halaal and do it, and what is haraam and avoid it. Through it he may come to know his Lord, may He be exalted, and His names, attributes and deeds. That will generate in his heart a sense of shyness before his Lord and shyness before His angels, so that he will not want to commit evil and immoral actions. Through knowledge he will come to know the state of sinners and the punishment that Allaah has prepared for them.

6 – A lot of spare time in the lives of those who have this problem

If they kept themselves busy with acts of worship, sport, permissible actions and seeking knowledge, they would not have time to spend in thinking of haraam things, let alone doing them.

7 – Making friends and keeping company with bad people

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) likened the bad friend to one who works the bellows: he will either burn his companion’s clothes or he will notice a bad smell coming from him.

8 – Not getting married

Allaah has created natural desires in man, and He has made the outlet for that in women. The permissible way to do that is marriage. The one who goes against his natural state (fitrah) and diverts that desire towards other males like him, is even lower than the animals, for the animals that Allaah has created are in front of us, and do we ever see any male mounting another male or looking at him with desire? Look at this and compare it with the one who looks at beardless youths of his own gender with desire, and the one who commits immoral actions with them, and that even makes him refrain from marrying women!

See the answer to question no. 20068 for information on ways to escape and treat this disease.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, describing the remedy for haraam love and infatuation: The remedy for this fatal disease is to understand that what has befallen him of this disease that is contrary to Tawheed is due to his ignorance and the negligence of his heart towards Allaah. He must acknowledge the Oneness of his Lord (Tawheed) and His laws and verses first of all, then he should do acts of worship, both inward and outward, which will distract his heart from always thinking of this thing, turn to Him a great deal and beseech Allaah to take this away from him. He should focus his heart on Him. There is no better remedy for it than sincerity towards Allaah. This is the remedy that Allaah mentioned in His Book when He said (interpretation of the meaning): “Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely, he was one of Our chosen, (guided) slaves” [Yoosuf 12:24].

Allaah tells us that He diverted the evil of infatuation and immoral actions away from him because of his sincerity, because if the heart is sincere and one’s actions are sincerely for the sake of Allaah alone, then the love of images cannot take hold of his heart; they can only take hold of an empty heart, as the poet said:

Her love came into my heart before I had any idea of what love is,

And it found my heart vacant, thus it too hold of it.

End quote from al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 150, 151).

Secondly:

One of the gravest mistakes is to think that there is no remedy for this disease, and that the homosexual can never become straight. If that were the case, then Allaah would not have told the people of Loot to repent, and the Prophet of Allaah Loot (peace be upon him) would not have called them to give up their perversion. Allaah is the Creator of man, and He knows what can be changed in man and what cannot, so do not pay any attention to any claim that is contrary to that.

How many homosexuals have turned to their Lord and repented, and their repentance has been accepted and they have changed their ways, and their haraam desires have disappeared. Loot (peace be upon him) called on his people to marry, because that is an effective remedy, in which the one who is affected by this thing can direct his desires in the permissible manner.

Thirdly:

From the above it is clear that what the homosexual falls into of being attached to images of beardless youths, or evil immoral actions, is the result of his deeds (and he is to blame). He is required to give it up, and he can rid himself of that. If we assume that he feels attracted to men, then he must resist that and avoid the causes that may lead to him falling into haraam, just as a normal man is naturally attracted to women, but he is required to lower his gaze and not be alone with a woman, and he must avoid all the means that lead to fitnah (temptation).

Fourthly:

As for your saying “what should we do?”, we have explained to you what you should do. You should fear Allaah and respect Him so much that you do not want Him to see you in the bad situation which He dislikes for you, and for which He gives people a painful punishment.

But what we are really shocked by is what you say after that: “Is it our fault that we are like that? What is the wisdom behind a man being created like this?”

Yes, O slave of Allaah, the blame and consequences, the threat and punishment, all befall the one who commits the sin; he deserves it because of the evil acts that he has done and what his hands have earned.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And among men is he who disputes about Allaah, without knowledge or guidance, or a Book giving light (from Allaah),

9. Bending his neck in pride (far astray from the path of Allaah), and leading (others) too (far) astray from the path of Allaah. For him there is disgrace in this worldly life, and on the Day of Resurrection We shall make him taste the torment of burning (Fire).

10. That is because of what your hands have sent forth, and verily, Allaah is not unjust to (His) slaves”

[al-Hajj 22:8-10]

Allaah also says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who dispute concerning Allaah (His religion of Islamic Monotheism with which Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم has been sent), after it has been accepted (by the people), of no use is their dispute before their Lord and on them is wrath, and for them will be a severe torment”

[al-Shoora 42:16]

Shaykh al-Sa’di said (may Allaah have mercy on him): Here Allaah tells us that “those who dispute concerning Allaah”, with false proofs and contradictory specious arguments, “after it has been accepted (by the people)” i.e., after the people of insight and reason have responded to Allaah, because of the definitive signs and clear proof that He has made clear to them, therefore these people who dispute the truth after it has been made clear to them, “of no use is their dispute” i.e., it is false and rejected “before their Lord” because it implies rejection of the truth, and everything that is contrary to the truth is false.

“and on them is wrath” because of their disobedience and their turning away from the proof of Allaah and their rejecting it. “and for them will be a severe torment” which is the effect of Allaah’s wrath on them. This is the punishment of everyone who contests the truth with falsehood. End quote.

Allaah says of His lying enemies (interpretation of the meaning):

“And when they commit a Faahisha (evil deed, going round the Ka‘bah in naked state, every kind of unlawful sexual intercourse), they say: ‘We found our fathers doing it, and Allaah has commanded it on us.’ Say: ‘Nay, Allaah never commands Faahisha. Do you say of Allaah what you know not?’

29. Say (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم): My Lord has commanded justice and (said) that you should face Him only (i.e. worship none but Allaah and face the Qiblah, i.e. the Ka‘bah at Makkah during prayers) in each and every place of worship, in prayers (and not to face other false deities and idols), and invoke Him only making your religion sincere to Him (by not joining in worship any partner with Him and with the intention that you are doing your deeds for Allaah’s sake only). As He brought you (into being) in the beginning, so shall you be brought into being [on the Day of Resurrection in two groups, one as a blessed one (believers), and the other as a wretched one (disbelievers)].

30. A group He has guided, and a group deserved to be in error; (because) surely, they took the Shayaateen (devils) as Awliyaa’ (protectors and helpers) instead of Allaah, and think that they are guided”

[al-A’raaf 7:28-30].

Shaykh al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Here Allaah says, describing the evil state of the mushrikeen who commit sins, and claim that Allaah commanded them to do them: “And when they commit a Faahisha (evil deed)” meaning everything that is regarded as abhorrent and repugnant, which includes their circumambulating the Ka’bah naked. “they say: ‘We found our fathers doing it” they spoke the truth concerning that. “and Allaah has commanded it on us” they were lying concerning that, hence Allaah rejected this attribution of theirs and said: “Say: ‘Nay, Allaah never commands Faahisha (evil deeds)’” i.e., it is not befitting to His perfection and wisdom to enjoin His slaves to commit evil deeds, whether it is what these mushrikeen were doing or anything else. “Do you say of Allaah what you know not?,” and what fabrication can be greater than that? End quote.

What you have said is what the enemies of Allaah, the mushrikeen and those who disbelieve His Messengers, say. They fall into sin, then they make excuses for it on the basis of qadar (the divine decree), saying that Allaah created them like that, or that He commanded them to do it; exalted be Allaah far above what the wrongdoers say.

Hence let the adulterer, thief and murderer say: What is my fault? Allaah created me like this. This false argument ultimately invalidates all the divine laws, and invalidates the commands and prohibitions, and gives people free rein, so that they fornicate like donkeys, and soon some of them may commit evil actions in the street, as will happen at the end of time, and as happens in some kaafir and sinful countries!

Do you know that you are the one who opened this door to yourself, but that Allaah has proof against you, and you have no proof against Allaah?

So keep yourself busy with closing the door to evil and corruption, before you become unable to close it, instead of keeping yourself busy wondering about the one who made the door and how come he did not keep it closed, as it seems that you do not know the difference between the door and the wall!

If you want it all to be a wall, with no door in it, and no lamp, then what is the point of accountability, and what is the value of commands and prohibitions, halaal and haraam, reward and punishment, Paradise and Hell?

To sum up our advice to you, we advise you to hasten to get married, so that you can put your sperm into that which is pure and halaal, and protect yourself against haraam sex.

But, so that you will not deceive the one who trusts you or betray that trust or transgress against one who has not wronged you, it is essential that you begin first with sincere repentance to Allaah from the sin of homosexuality that you have fallen into, and strive to do all kinds of acts of obedience. Keep yourself busy with Allaah and pleasing Him, then as soon as you feel that you have started to follow the path of guidance, and you feel that you are going in the right direction, then strengthen the motives of goodness and purity in your heart by marrying one who will keep you chaste. But before starting to treat the problem or feeling that you have repented sincerely, do not transgress against anyone else and do not betray the one who has trusted you.

We ask Allaah to heal you, purify your heart, and keep you chaste.

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A

 

[qassy!]

Dont get married to the sister, what will you put her through!

 

['Abd-al Latif]

“And (remember) Loot (Lot), when he said to his people: ‘Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed in the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)?

81. ‘Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins).’

82. And the answer of his people was only that they said: ‘Drive them out of your town, these are indeed men who want to be pure (from sins)!’

83. Then We saved him and his family, except his wife; she was of those who remained behind (in the torment).

84. And We rained down on them a rain (of stones). Then see what was the end of the Mujrimoon (criminals, polytheists and sinners)”

[Qur'an - Surah al-A’raaf 7:80-84]




“Verily, by your life (O Muhammad), in their wild intoxication, they were wandering blindly.

73. So As‑Saihah (torment — awful cry) overtook them at the time of sunrise.

74. And We turned (the towns of Sodom in Palestine) upside down and rained down on them stones of baked clay.

75. Surely, in this are signs for those who see (or understand or learn the lessons from the Signs of Allaah).

76. And verily, they (the cities) were right on the highroad (from Makkah to Syria, i.e. the place where the Dead Sea is now)”

[Quran - Surah al-Hijr 15:72-76]

 

[Ghira]

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental disorders took out Homosexuality as a disorder in the newest version DSM 4. It is a mistake so I suggest you to go to a Muslim psychologist/psychiatrist to treat this serious issue. May Allah (swt) guide you.

 

[aminahjaan]

Let's face it, it's a scary and uncomfortable topic to discuss. Dude's going through a rough time, and obviously extremely confused. I'm sure if he's read our posts he's either
1. contemplating
2. Not caring....

Sigh,....It's his life.
Oh and may I also point out, that the thread is very boldly stating with the title I'm Muslim n I'm GAY (Astagfirallah)

He is sticking with the belief that he's gay. And no cyber people can change his mind. The best WE can do is pray...right?

 

[coddles76]

Let's face it, it's a scary and uncomfortable topic to discuss. Dude's going through a rough time, and obviously extremely confused. I'm sure if he's read our posts he's either
1. contemplating
2. Not caring....

Sigh,....It's his life.
Oh and may I also point out, that the thread is very boldly stating with the title I'm Muslim n I'm GAY (Astagfirallah)

He is sticking with the belief that he's gay. And no cyber people can change his mind. The best WE can do is pray...right?

Yes and the title is invalid and misleading. YOU cannot be muslim and be Gay at the same time. If your GAY you ARE NOT a muslim because you are strongly against the law and system of Allah SWT. A muslim is someone who submits to the will of Allah SWT and you are not submitting if you are GAY because Allah SWT has destroyed the people of the past due to this sickness. Let's not get all political about this. Allah SWT has strongly rejected this disease so we as muslims MUST strongly reject this sickness aswell.

 

[MustafaMc]

Oh and may I also point out, that the thread is very boldly stating with the title I'm Muslim n I'm GAY (Astagfirallah)

Do you think there is any significance to what is capitalized and what is not capitalized in the thread title? Note that you capitalized Muslim as I also always do, but he did not. Hmmmmmm:hmm::?

 

[aminahjaan]

Do you think there is any significance to what is capitalized and what is not capitalized in the thread title? Note that you capitalized Muslim as I also always do, but he did not. Hmmmmmm:hmm::?

Hmm verryyy fishhy....I agree..

Also to Unknown if you're reading this. Trust before Lust!
Trust= Trust in Allah and following the right path

And Lust has an obvious meaning. So that's pretty much Dissing Allah oh and girls! That's not what us Muslims call appropriate.