IM muslim n im GAY

[UNKNOWN08]

wait wait wait wait WAIT....

this is tooo much.... i cant reply to all of theses i just came home from work .. as all u can see i was a bit busy. but i appreciate everyone for trying to help me. first i want to say that i am not that religious. but i am trying to learn. as far as that goes about me saying there isnt a word for homosexuality thats what the scholar ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvS6zqzbZHA) said so i been looking into it. since this is a islamic forum i assumed i would find my answers to that. second im not active sexually . about the girl she doesn't know that i am NOR my family . and i said before i dont want to ruin her life. my friend hes a really great muslims told me i should get married and that will prevent me from being on the haram side . he have tried so many times to help me. but im still confused

well my childhood >>>>>> . my family are not religious as well. i grew up in a family who lack of religion and to them the most important thing is education money etc. and since i am living in the west its very hard to stay religious from the environment and my role models( family) . something did happen in my childhood but its really personal and it did change me ever since that point. and ever since i was six after that experience i hated females and everything about girls. okay so i made a mistake by not capitalizing MUSLIM. i reallly need your help.

 

[جوري]

let me tell you something in a way it is a breach of privacy of a dear brother I know since under grad.
He was molested by his Arabic and Quran teacher when he was 7 if you can believe that.. he still ended up very religious, has a computer company with one of his brothers and is married with one child..


personal experiences' happen to a great many people, east, west, north and south.. but once you are a thinking reflecting adult, you can take control over your psychology and steer it in the proper direction, rather than let circumstance dictate that for you!

You are not sexually active as you have stated, how do you know you'll not actually feel humiliated and sodomized and very hurt if you sleep with a guy? desires are one thing acting on them is a different story..
I love ice cream very much, I can't imagine not having it.. but I am also lactose intolerant, if I go against my nature for the sake of my desires, I'll end up sick..


peace

 

[ayesha309]

wait wait wait wait WAIT....

this is tooo much.... i cant reply to all of theses i just came home from work .. as all u can see i was a bit busy. but i appreciate everyone for trying to help me. first i want to say that i am not that religious. but i am trying to learn. as far as that goes about me saying there isnt a word for homosexuality thats what the scholar ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvS6zqzbZHA) said so i been looking into it. since this is a islamic forum i assumed i would find my answers to that. second im not active sexually . about the girl she doesn't know that i am NOR my family . and i said before i dont want to ruin her life. my friend hes a really great muslims told me i should get married and that will prevent me from being on the haram side . he have tried so many times to help me. but im still confused

well my childhood >>>>>> . my family are not religious as well. i grew up in a family who lack of religion and to them the most important thing is education money etc. and since i am living in the west its very hard to stay religious from the environment and my role models( family) . something did happen in my childhood but its really personal and it did change me ever since that point. and ever since i was six after that experience i hated females and everything about girls. okay so i made a mistake by not capitalizing MUSLIM. i reallly need your help.

u just had a bad expereince. ur not gay. no one can be born guy. that is not how Allah has created man. dont let shaytaan fool you. a human can not be gay. homosexuality is a diesase that kills you (like someone pointed out)
obviosly you do not want to share your expereince, whihc is ok. but that doesn't mean all females are bad. and wot you most defienly need is to do lots and lots of dua and ask Allah to help you. and cure you from your problems.
watch this lecture. its by Muhammad Al-Shareef. its a bit long but he defientely discuesses this issue:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C65Watj1-58

Insha'Allah may Allah guide you.
But please do not let shaytaan deicive into thinking of things which are absolutly false. shaytaan will put you in eternal doom, you dont want that, do you?

 

[coddles76]

If you want to please Allah SWT then you will try your utmost best to change your desires and follow the desire of Allah SWT and Allah SWT has made Women pure and halal for you not Men.

Quran 5:5
This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are Believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time, when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues. If any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

So follow what Allah SWT has made good and pure for you and reject your evil desires, that would be best for you if you but knew. Seek Help, there are many trustworthy people out there that can help you.

 

[Eeman]

Oh so he isnt a one post wonder Alhumdulillah...
i really want to ask a question but i know its too personal and dont think its appropriate i guess curiosity is getting the best of me.
i agree with sister syke she is right... so your NOT gay cheer up... i suggest you start educating yourself about islam take small steps dont just dive into it... ramadhan is comingup Insha'Allah best month of the year make it your 1st one, fast make dua loads of it start your salah... bro believe me once you turn toAllah swt ok at first it may be a lil hard but in time you will see that Insha'Allah you'll be fine.

 

[manaal]

Let me address the problem of you not being very Islamic rather than the gay bit. I don't have any experience with gay people so I can't comment on that. But I do feel that learning more about your religion will help you see the light Insha Allah.

There is a person very close to me who wasn't all that Islamic. But lately he has been listening to recordings of translation of the Holy Qura'n (starting with the simple surahs about the stories of the prophets) and also talk on the Life of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) (this is called 'seerah'). Insh Allah I will get you links to the sites he downlaoded these recordings from. He listens to them in his car while he drives around for work. (He drives a lot). And has found it's more calming and beneficial than listening to music. And he's becoming a better Muslim, Masha Allah. Preaches to me now!

 

[MustafaMc]

second im not active sexually

Alhamdulillah, as has been said the sin is in the act. Desires such as you speak of come from Shaytan. Do you remember Surah Nas asking Allah for protection from the evil of the withdrawing whisperer? Having the bad desire and not acting on it to actually commit the sin is actually recorded as a good deed, such is the Mercy of Alllah.

well my childhood >>>>>> . ... since i was six after that experience i hated females and everything about girls.

I can understand that must have been a very traumatic experience that altered the way that you feel toward both females and males. This is extremely unfortunate in your case, but Allah did not make you gay in your mother's womb. Like being born to an irreligious family, your childhood experience was not of your choosing and it is unfortunate. Your coming here to LI tells me that you are trying to overcome your upbringing and better yourself.

okay so i made a mistake by not capitalizing MUSLIM. i reallly need your help.

Please, forgive me, but your indicating you are not very religious explains what was emphasized and what was not. Insha'Allah, as you grow in Islam, you will see yourself first as primarily a Muslim and secondarily as being gay and then, Allah willing you will see yourself as not being a homosexual at all. I am very glad that you have not acted on your desires. This speaks well of you.

We must tell you that homosexuality is clearly a sin.

Qur'an 51:31-34 Ibrahim (Abraham) asked: "O Divine Messengers, what is your errand?" They replied: "We have been sent to a guilty nation(people of Lot, who were homosexuals), to shower upon them brimstone, marked by your Rabb for the transgressors."

11:82-83 When Our Judgement came to pass, We turned the cities upside down and rained down on them brimstones of baked clay, layer upon layer,
specially marked by your Rabb. Such scourge is not far off from the wrongdoers!

26:160-166 The people of Lut (Lot), also, disbelieved their Rasools. Remember when their brother Lut asked them: "Have you no fear of Allah? Rest assured that I am a trustworthy Rasool of Allah towards you. So fear Allah and obey me. I do not ask you any reward for my services, for my reward will be given by the Rabb of the Worlds. Will you fornicate with males from among the creatures of the worlds and leave those whom your Rabb has created for you to be your mates? Nay! You are a people who have transgressed all limits."

Allah is Merciful and Oft-Returning, may He continue to guideyou to the Straight Way and preserve you from major sins.

 

[M..x]

wait wait wait wait WAIT....

this is tooo much.... i cant reply to all of theses i just came home from work .. as all u can see i was a bit busy. but i appreciate everyone for trying to help me. first i want to say that i am not that religious. but i am trying to learn. as far as that goes about me saying there isnt a word for homosexuality thats what the scholar ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvS6zqzbZHA) said so i been looking into it. since this is a islamic forum i assumed i would find my answers to that. second im not active sexually . about the girl she doesn't know that i am NOR my family . and i said before i dont want to ruin her life. my friend hes a really great muslims told me i should get married and that will prevent me from being on the haram side . he have tried so many times to help me. 1) but im still confused

well my childhood >>>>>> . my family are not religious as well. i grew up in a family who lack of religion and to them the most important thing is education money etc. and 2) since i am living in the west its very hard to stay religious from the environment and my role models( family) . something did happen in my childhood but its really personal and it did change me ever since that point. and ever since i was six after that experience i hated females and everything about girls. okay so i made a mistake by not capitalizing MUSLIM. i reallly need your help.

1) Dude, you know its haraam, and its prolly guna take you a lot to abstain/stay away from it from it buh what you confused abouh? Fight your nafs. We can't make halaal to fit our own desires what Allah has clearly made haraam
2) Yep, true that, its hard to be practice to tha fullest when all we see around us is haraam. Buh then that excuse is kinda pathetic, When the people of tha past adopted a total NEW way of life? They still manage to practiced tha religion to its fullest, in every aspect they were able too, yet we sit here crying a river like no manz buisiness. Its hard, but not impossible. So start learn abouh your deen... Supplication is tha weapon of tha beleiver..
3) How can you HATE tha entire female population cause of one bad experiance in th past? C'mon bro, we're not as bad as you think. Gosh... We are humans. Judge not us all by tha action of just one. =)
Peace

 

[UNKNOWN08]

i don't hate females its like every time i see them i just remember what had happen to me. my parents are getting me married after eid, what should i do. i don't think i have a choice in this matter . should i tell them . i have told them i am not ready , but no one listen. i have tired talking to my father he said grow up and don't be selfish we need this. .i suppose its all about the business !

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you UNKNOWN08; welcome to the forum;

Each of us struggles with our many different sins, none of us here are really able to pass judgement on another sinner, but just a couple of thoughts.

If a woman did something to you when you were six years old, it does not mean that all women will do the same.

If you have not had a sexual relationship with a man, whatever makes you think this will be better than a relationship with a woman?

More often it is men who abuse children.

In the spirit of praying for mercy, forgiveness and hope.

Eric

 

[جوري]

i don't hate females its like every time i see them i just remember what had happen to me. my parents are getting me married after eid, what should i do. i don't think i have a choice in this matter . should i tell them . i have told them i am not ready , but no one listen. i have tired talking to my father he said grow up and don't be selfish we need this. .i suppose its all about the business !

I am suspecting your father knows and this is his remedy for what ails your psyche!
have you ever thought about that?
parents can tell, it doesn't matter how secretive or skilled you think you are at hiding things!

 

[YusufNoor]

i don't hate females its like every time i see them i just remember what had happen to me. my parents are getting me married after eid, what should i do. i don't think i have a choice in this matter . should i tell them . i have told them i am not ready , but no one listen. i have tired talking to my father he said grow up and don't be selfish we need this. .i suppose its all about the business !

Astargfirullah Akhi,

i meant to respond to this sooner, but i reckon i forgot. keep in mind this is a little over my pay grade, but here's how i see your difficulty:

1) your parents want to marry you off in a Assibiyan kind of way.

2) something really bad happened when you were young

3) as a result of #2, you believe you are gay

4) you and your family haven't paid alot of attention to our Religion.


on telling ANY Muslim that you are gay, i VEHEMENTLY recommend against it! i can't[OK, i can, which is why you shouldn't] imagine what someone might do to you!

as for #1, ALOT of Muslims end up in your position, granted you have added a slightly different twist to it. but, honesty, look at the situation like every other Muslim in an arranged marriage situation. don't know if it helps, but seek help accordingly.

# 2 + #3 are hard, but separate them from the whole "marriage" thingy!

#4 is why you have the current problem that you do! perhaps Allah[swt] is calling you back to the "straight path" [erm, no pun intended there] and what you really need to concentrate on this Ramadhan is your Islam! make your duas after fasting each day and try to put this all in Allah's care. i don't see anyone else that can assist you as good as He can!

MAYBE Allah is rescuing you by having you get married now, MAYBE the Sister is ready to get serious about her Deen, MAYBE not, Allah know best!

just brain storming here:

MAYBE that's your our right now, get REAL Religious and let her know what to expect, maybe she won't want to marry you!

you can[AFTER you've sized her up] tell her about #2, but NOT #3! [if you do, you'll be unsafe from her family as well as your own!] it might/probably will affect your performance, so IF you marry her you WILL need to talk about it.

at any rate, concentrate on Islam and try to assess whether or not this sister might not actually make a decent wife [HELL, your not perfect either!]

leaving out #2 & #3, actively seek help from others...

sorry, it's all i got right now! but hey, Eid is not for another 27 days!