Assalam Alaikum. So Ramadan is coming to an end and this has given me time to think. My parents have not let me fast for a majority of the days. I have fasted 12 days this year, 3 last year, 2 the year before and none the year before that, so the number of fasts I have missed from the time i was at the right age to fast to now is 108 days. What can I do?( and i don't see them letting me fast properly next year either, or any other years). Do i have to make up for the fasts I have missed even though it's my parents' fault for not letting me fast? I would make up for the fasts somehow but I can't just fast for over 6000 days continously (60 days times 108) and I don't have £32,000 to give as Kaffarah either. Is there any way I can make up for the fasts?
I'm not a convert muslim and my parents never let me fast, what can I do?
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Hamza Asadullah
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Can you explain your situation a bit more please brother so we can understand why your parents are now allowing you to fast etc? Jzk
They are not allowing me to fast, at least not all of them, that is my problem. I am 15 and I should be fasting all of the days, shouldn't I?
My question is how can I make up for all of the fasts I have missed/ do I have to? Because I have missed a lot of fasts and the normal ways of making up for fasts ( Kafaarah, fasting 60 days for every missed fast, etc) doesn't seem possible for me.
My question is how can I make up for all of the fasts I have missed/ do I have to? Because I have missed a lot of fasts and the normal ways of making up for fasts ( Kafaarah, fasting 60 days for every missed fast, etc) doesn't seem possible for me.
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Yes I gathered that they are not allowing you to fast but I asked you why they are not allowing you to fast? What are their reasons? Are they practicing? Do you come from a Muslim family?
Oh ok, sorry. They aren't allowing me to fast as they think I am not capable of withstanding the starvation and the heat etc, they are fine with me fasting on weekends but when it ties in with my school hours, they refuse. And yes they are practising and they come from a very religious Islamic background, they want me to pray and read Quran but not fast/go taraweeh.
Hamza Asadullah
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Jazakallahu Khayran for the clarification.
My brother it is not your fault as you are under compulsion not to fast. But I am very surprised you say that they come from a very religious background but then they refuse to allow you to fast during the month of Ramadan. If you had some sort of illness that prevents you from fasting then I can understand. But in your case they are more worried about materialistic matters than the fact that it is obligatory upon you to fast. Do they not know that it is obligatory upon you to fast from puberty on wards?
Is there anyone elder, senior or religious in your family that supports you and can talk to them? Can you get hold of a good local scholar, learned or elder in your community who you can get to speak to them?
My brother know that we should always honor, serve, show love, mercy towards our parents in matter that does not go against the commandments of Allah. To be righteous towards our parents is amongst the greatest rewards and a wonderful example of this is of Owais Qarni (Ra). But there is no obeying parents on those matters in which they order you to disobey Allah. Fasting is your obligation from puberty and therefore you cannot obey them in not fasting. Especially as you are not almost 16 now. But remember always be kind to them and do not get frustrated with them.
Shaythan tries to build up anger, resentment and bitterness within us so that we act wrongfully against our parents and that will be our loss. So speak with a low tone and in kindness. Get an elder, learned or scholar from within your family or your local community to speak to them and then from next year on wards you can do all of your fasts inshaAllah.
May Allah take the love of this Dunya (Worldly life) out of our parents hearts so they do not favor it over the Hereafter. Ameen
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JazaakAllah brother, your answer has enlightened my knowledge of Saum Subhanallah. My hope is that this knowledge will too educate my parents and place them towards the Right Path Insha Allah.
Just one last question, since I have missed a large number of fast (roughly 108) which method of repayment is most suitable to make up for my missed fasts? JazaakAllah.
Just one last question, since I have missed a large number of fast (roughly 108) which method of repayment is most suitable to make up for my missed fasts? JazaakAllah.
Hamza Asadullah
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Yes, it is obligatory for you to pay back the days of fasting which you missed after you reached puberty.
Please do this slowly, to avoid burnout. You can start by fasting on Mondays and Thursdays, and adjust accordingly.
Source:http://seekershub.org/ans-blog/2016/05/25/need-make-fasts-parents-not-allow-keep/
Making up obligatory acts of worship
The scholars state that worship missed for a valid excuse must be made up, but it is not obligatory to make them up immediately, though recommended. Worship missed without a valid excuse must be made up immediately. [Bushra al Karim]
‘Immediately’ means spending all one’s time and efforts to make them up, other than the necessary aspects of life such as eating, sleeping, working etc. In practical terms however, the most realistic way to make up worship is to estimate the amount that one can maintain and continue on it, increasing when possible.
Obeying parents
The general rule in regards to obeying parents is that one does not have to obey them when they forbid one from performing obligatory acts or confirmed sunnas, in the same way one does not listen to them if they order one to do something prohibited.
What is obligatory however, irrespective of what they are asking one to do or not do, is that one treats their parents with kindness and patience.
Source:http://seekershub.org/ans-blog/2017/02/25/can-make-fasts-even-parents-prevent/
Just to point out that there is no 60 day fast expiation for one not able to fast upon compulsion. Also my brother make a conservative estimate on how many fasts you have missed from puberty until now and keep a record of it and inshaAllah as soon as it is possible for you to begin making up for the missed fasts, then begin to do so even if it is once or twice a week inshaAllah.
Also brother as I mentioned to you previously try your best to get an elder, senior, religious o learned person in your family or local community to talk to your parents about the importance of fasting so that they never prevent you from fasting again inshaAllah. Also make much Dua to Allah and treat your parents with utmost kindness, love, honor and respect regardless of how they reat you or what they say to you as that is what pleases Allah the most.
And Allah knows best in all matters
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