I'm Religious, the boy is not.

:sl:

Well sis before you get into whether it will work, first thing to know is having a boyfriend/girlfriend is haram. So the first issue is that and second is that he isn't Muslim. You will have to end your relationship with him because it is not halal. But I pray that Allah Ta'ala guides him to Islam, InshaAllah.

:w:
 
anonymous said:
I dont understand at all

no1 R U a muslim?

no2 if so, why have you got a boyfrend?
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One thing I gotta point out though, which some here seem to give a wrong impression of, especially that post I quoted:

To have a boyfriend, doesn't nullify the fact that you ARE a Muslim.


But it is strictly forbidden, this is why it is better for you to end the relationship, if he doesn't revert to Islam and you two get married.
 
Before this goes further, I'd like to make it clear that I am not a mainstream Muslim, and I personally believe that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is not haram as long as nothing sexual is happening. I also believe that one does not have to be sexual with a significant other in order to be romantically involved.

And lastly, NO I am not planning to marry him. Marriage is a ways down the road for me, and I still have a few years before I should be thinking about it, by my standards anyway.
 
iliketosmile99 said:
Before this goes further, I'd like to make it clear that I am not a mainstream Muslim, and I personally believe that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is not haram as long as nothing sexual is happening. I also believe that one does not have to be sexual with a significant other in order to be romantically involved.

And lastly, NO I am not planning to marry him. Marriage is a ways down the road for me, and I still have a few years before I should be thinking about it, by my standards anyway.
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Sis' as your a convert I'm guessing you don't know how the devil works :).

He works in little steps, he will guide you astray of labelling him as a 'boyfriend', then kisses every now and then or something, and before you know it you're having sexual relations. It's best to stay away from it completely, not just sexual relations.
 
Ali. said:
Sis' as your a convert I'm guessing you don't know how the devil works :).

He works in little steps, he will guide you astray of labelling him as a 'boyfriend', then kisses every now and then or something, and before you know it you're having sexual relations. It's best to stay away from it completely, not just sexual relations.
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ohh yeahh!!! agree completely
 
Ali. said:
Sis' as your a convert I'm guessing you don't know how the devil works :).

He works in little steps, he will guide you astray of labelling him as a 'boyfriend', then kisses every now and then or something, and before you know it you're having sexual relations. It's best to stay away from it completely, not just sexual relations.
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Well, we've been together for about eight months, and he's yet to even hint at sexual relations. I've made it absolutely clear to him that I'm not interested in anything sexual, and he respects this. If he does try any funny business, I know I'm strong enough to say know, because I have in the past. If he persists, I will leave him to avoid a sexual attack.
 
sis sorry i know u'r a convert and u'r new to all this but u CANT have a bf
seriously Allah says that the Human being is WEAK u don't know wat might happen
u'r not even suppose to be LOOKING at the opisite sex if dey r not your Muhram so forget anything else

sorry if i;m a bit harsh but i can't help it
this has been already posted
And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him). (Surat Al Isra: Verse 33)

DONT GO NEAR IT
 
I dont understand this mainstream or not mainstream Muslim thing. I find it quite odd and sad that the word Muslim needs a "tag" before it, when the name itself is self explanatory. It's not smart to use half of Islam and leave the rest. The greatest virtue of Islam is modesty and that includes no relations before marriage. Islam and the scholars are clear about this. I think regardless of even the sect, "reliable" scholars agree this is a no no. And no boyfriends/girlfriends is what also makes us different from other religions. And I don't see why its necessary to have a boyfriend since usually having one includes kissing, dating and such. I fail to see the point of having one if you didn't plan on marrying, not that you could marry a non Muslim anyway. I hope you dont take it the wrong way sis, InshAllah...:)

:sl:
 
Jazzy said:
I dont understand this mainstream or not mainstream Muslim thing. It's not smart to use half of Islam and leave the rest. The greatest virtue of Islam is modesty and that includes no relations before marriage. Islam and the scholars are clear about this. I think regardless of even the sect, "reliable" scholars agree this is a no no. And no boyfriends/girlfriends is what also makes us different from other religions. And I don't see why its necessary to have a boyfriend since usually having one includes kissing, dating and such. I fail to see the point of having one if you didn't plan on marrying, not that you could marry a non Muslim anyway. I hope you dont take it the wrong way sis, InshAllah...:)

:sl:
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I just believe that there is a difference between mainstream Islam and non-mainstream. But, I am open to other people's opinions and am happy to listen.
 
There is only one Islam sister. No more and no less. It's not that you aren't strong. I'm sure you are MashaAllah:) Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has set these as precautions for us. Just because you might be stronger than others doesn't mean that the rules should change. The same rules apply to everyone to set a balance. We are prone to weakness or mistakes. We may stumble at any time. The only thing this will do is confuse outsiders or end up like other religions where they cannot agree on a scripture or have different interpretations. Although Allah has promised to safeguard His Deen from corruption :). We cannot just follow Islam by what we percieve to be "ok." We don't make the halal or the haram. Thats His job.

:sl:
 
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But didnt Allah say Enter islam Wholeheartedly? u cant be halfstream or anything like that
subhanallah today is the first time i'v ever heard of a mainstream stuff
 
:sl: Sister iliketosmile (mashaa Allaah cute name by the way) free-mixing in Islam in general is haraam. Allaah says that it would be better for a Muslim male to have a nail driven through his hand than for him to touch a woman that is unlawful to him (and may Allaah forgive me if I made a mistake inshaa Allaah). :)

Inshaa Allaah try to talk to him with a mahram (male relative) present because when you are alone with him the shaytaan is the third party present and we all know how he works. :rollseyes You've been together for eight months subhan Allaah, that is a really long time. Perhaps you're really hesistant about getting married because you're young, but just know this sister: If you take a step towards Allaah, Allaah will come a mile towards you.
 
iliketosmile99 said:
I just believe that there is a difference between mainstream Islam and non-mainstream. But, I am open to other people's opinions and am happy to listen.
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:sl: dear sister,

I am glad that u don' think about ne contact with the boy,

Now lissen, that boy however won't be thinking the same, take that from me being a boy myself!, A boy being sexuall charged + a women wanting attention = A TIME BOM that will soon explode, uve been feeding the time bom for 8 month now....

That boy is not there just to chat with u! He is hoping for more, take my word on that!

He is not a muslim did i hear that right?

Since you are not planning to get married soon, and him being a a none muslim... My advice dear sister would be to end that relationship.... it is going nowhere!

Keep your self occupied! And do alot of Dua! :w:
 
iliketosmile99 said:
I just believe that there is a difference between mainstream Islam and non-mainstream. But, I am open to other people's opinions and am happy to listen.
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What are you talking about, sis'? There's only one Islam.


Verily, those who divide their religion and break up into sects (all kinds of religious sects), you (O Muhammad -- Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) have no concern in them in the least. Their affair is only with Allâh, Who then will tell them what they used to do. {Surah Al-An'âm, verse 159}.

I understand it will be hard for you breaking up with him and changing your life to become a better Muslim (none of us are perfect), but that's normal. Take it in steps sis'.
 
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If you take a step towards Allaah, Allaah will come a mile towards you.
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well said sis :)

i remember a story of one of the salaf, somehow he got stuck in a room with a girl
he had a candle next to him and the girls noticed that he kept on placing his hand on the flame through out the night wen the day came she asked him about this. he answered that every time he felt a small desire to do anything he would place his hand on the blame and tell himself, the fire of hell is worse

so if u think u'r gona get hurt if u leave him, just think that the Hell fire is gona hurt ALOT more

Ma'salamah
 

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