I'm scared to do it again..

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

Salam alaykum

.. he came back to me, telling me that he was going to convert to islam.

as you are repented , InshaAllah u are forgiven already ; but don't trust this man again .

Firstly reverting to Islam must not take place just for the sake of marriage. If he wants to accept Islam , he will do it because Islam is the truth . If he reverts just to marry u , it means in his heart he is not a Muslim and u are not allowed to marry him .

Use this holy month to offer your repentance ; InshaAllah u will be blessed in this life and hereafter .

 

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

...He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me.

Is it possible to change your college / Varsity ? Try not to meet him . Satan will try his best to provoke u to repeat the sin ...may Allah forbid but don't give Satan any chance .

Try your best to change your subject / college / location / phone no etc etc.

 

[aadil77]

Thank you so much for your answers.. it really helped me.
And i just wanted to say.. no it didnt become "natural" for me to fornicate.. i felt really bad, i didn"t stop crying each time i did it. I knew Allah was watching me doing such evil things.. but i think its because of my low iman that i did that..
And ffor those who think he "used" me.. well he even told his parents about me, and he told his family about converting, and i know the friend who talked about him about islam and converting.. that's what made me think he wasn't liying.
BUT I don't want to be from those who disobey Allah.. u guys are right allah knows better than i do. The idea of marying a person who does'nt believe in the prophet, the quran and its message really scared me , that's what scared me and made me stop this haram realationship.
And for those who tell me not to see him again.. its going to ba hard. He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me. I Hope allah will help me.
I'll do everything to stay away from haram.
Thank u again brothers and sister... may allah reward you and protect you.

salam alaykum

Him becoming temporarly muslim didn't make it acceptable for what you did, you weren't married so it was haraam. You will have to forget him completely unless you want to screw up again. If he's in your classes, you're gonna have to change college or uni or your course or whatever, how are you gonna feel sitting next to the guy who you've commited zina with, who's seen you all bare and knows yours secrets. You're gonna have to move on sis or its gonna haunt you for however many years you're in his classes

 

[Humbler_359]

And for those who tell me not to see him again.. its going to ba hard. He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me. I Hope allah will help me.
I'll do everything to stay away from haram.
Thank u again brothers and sister... may allah reward you and protect you.

salam alaykum

Madam Salamander,

Are you making excuses yourself "it is going to be hard"? This guy wouldn't leave you. Will you kindly talk with your parent? Are you wearing hijab? Are you young? Are you letting him to touch you or kiss you or sins in your soft heart? Will your Imaan going down deeply or astray? Shyatan is much stronger you let happen.

You have smart enough to know how to change class or university, avoid him, blunt him, find Muslimah friends, and should focus your future.

First zina committed you done. What's next? Your parents will find out some day.....Allah (SWT) is always watching everyone and you. mg:

Increase your knowledges on Islam and improve your Imaan/read Qur'an everyday please in order to protect yourself from invisible Shyatan. Knowledges is best weapons and secret tools in your heart and soul against Shyatan.

 

[Salamander]

Salam alaykum

I can't change uni.. its not easy i already changed uni and if i want to study what i want i can't change anymore..
and for Humbler_359.. i can't tell my parents.. impossible. they won't understand.
and I don't have any muslim friends.. the few muslim i know are not practicing muslims.. even worst than the non muslims..
But i have to be strong.. hope shaytan won't be stonger than me.. Wallah i want to be a good muslima, and I WILL become a good one.

thank u for the advice brothers and sisters. and ramadhan mubarak.

 

[Salahudeen]

If you cry after every time you do it, then why keep doing it :S

you must know by now that it reduces you to tears after you do it, so doesn't this put a film resolve in you to stop doing it, because it makes you feel like crap afterwards.

I actually find it amazing that you don't hate this man for what he's taken from you, if I was in your shoes I'd hate the person who seduced me into doing the sin with such great passion that if he came near me I'd get soooo mad. I'd make it known to him/her that I dislike them to a huge degree.

How can you not hate him, doesn't he remind you of your evil actions every time you look at him, this should make you feel sick to the point where you can't even look at him. that's how I'd feel.

it's good that you still feel bad about it and it hasn't become natural, but if you keep doing it sister soon you won't feel bad, you'll just accept it won't be a big deal for you. This is how shaytaan works, you keep falling into it then sooner or later you just give up and accept the sin as a part of who you are and convince yourself that there's nothing wrong with it.

Also you mentioned you talked to his friend and his friend told you everything about him accepting Islam and telling his parents about you,

can I just ask is this friend a guy?? and how do you know he actually did tell his parents were you there in the house when the conversations took place? or is it all rumours and you never really witnessed any of it yourself??

you see I know a lot of guys who tell girls that they've told their parents about them when in actual fact they've told their parents jack all. don't be so gullable, if he tells you he's told his parents about you don't believe it till his parents are infront of you, if he tells you he's told his parents about Islam don't believe it because you don't actually know if he did or didn't.

and if the friend who told you all this is a guy, then you should know that guys have common goals and help each other in evil, they play games like this,

haven't you ever heard of the scenario where to friends plan to get a girl by 1 of them going up to the girl and being abusive then the other 1 swoops in and tells the guy off who is actually his friend. Then you go away thinking the guy is really nice and sweet for protecting you against the abusive guy, but really it was all a plan to get you. and they were both friends.

sadly that's how alot of guys work they call it "playing the game" so maybe his friend and him were both playing you and tricked you into believing what they wanted you to believe.


if the friend who told you was your friend, then it's likely he knew that whatever he told your friend would get back to you, so he just fed your friend with all the information he knew would soften your heart towards him.

you have to understand just because your friend or his friend tells you something doesn't mean it's true. Unless you witnessed it yourself it could be a lie started by him.

and what you mentioned is sad about you not having any praticing friends, it is true they are hard to find but I'll give you tips on how to find them,

start attending the masjid and getting involved in Islamic activities, look for study circles your local masjid must have study circles for women,

another tip is to hang out in the prayer room of your University cos it's likely that alot of the praticing people in your uni just hibernate in the prayer room lol that's what we did in college.

 

[Ansariyah]

I don't get this! *sigh*

u are a grown up person wit brains, u know right from wrong. Allah showed u the right path, n the corrupted path. Wats done is done. Theres no more time for excuses, take responsibility for ur own actions. Why shud u be scared to do it again? thats like ur telling urself ur not in control, u are!! Theres nothing to be scared of u make the decision n u tell him to go to hell. He cannot touch u again unless u let him.

I will tell u one thing that shud put u off that guy forever...He probably doesnt even do istinja!..probably has never done it in his entire life. Consider being 10 feet away still too close.

 

[cat eyes]

Salam alaykum

I can't change uni.. its not easy i already changed uni and if i want to study what i want i can't change anymore..
and for Humbler_359.. i can't tell my parents.. impossible. they won't understand.
and I don't have any muslim friends.. the few muslim i know are not practicing muslims.. even worst than the non muslims..
But i have to be strong.. hope shaytan won't be stonger than me.. Wallah i want to be a good muslima, and I WILL become a good one.

thank u for the advice brothers and sisters. and ramadhan mubarak.

my friend use to sing that same song to me all the time that most of uni girls are hell stupid and far from intelligence and they are easy. she would tell me so many stories from uni like this and the guy always went and spread all sorts of rumours about the girl in the end after he got what he wanted and found someone else please sister don't mind me saying this was especially the most stupid thing a muslim girl could ever do to sleep with a non muslim! he probably had so many other partners before also. i would also advise you to take a trip to the doctor to get you checked for sexually transmitted diseases. are you aware of this??

 

[Salahudeen]

^ defo good move, go get yourself checked at the doctors you might have something unpleasant.

 

[Danah]

^ OMG Not only for diseases, but maybe u r pregnant without u knowing oh:

And sis, u don't want to tell ur parent? Yes, they won't understand because they will say that there is nothing justify your act with him from the early beginning!!
I think involving your parent now is better than do it later when it will very late for u to explain everything to them

As the scholar in the video said, if u wanna make a real toba (repentant) u gotta change ur surrounding, friends, place or even anything that can remind you of that man in ur free time. Sis, keep yourself busy, don't give shaytan any chance to find you alone doing nothing because he will start whispering in ur ear and begin to beautify sins for you again.

 

[anonymous]

wa alaykum us-Salaam

you know i've heard stories like yours where the girl loves this dude u know a prohibited love, and her family don't know and the guy totally uses it against her by threatening her to tell all, just so that she can stay with him. so thats something else to consider.

And for those who think he "used" me.. well he even told his parents about me, and he told his family about converting, and i know the friend who talked about him about islam and converting.. that's what made me think he wasn't liying.

well yes, that's because when he saw that you were fearing Allah in regarding to staying away from him, he made the effort. but when he saw that you didn't care about staying away from sin and hence letting ur guard down, then he figured that he shouldn't either

that we all know how far a guy will go to get his way with a girl :exhausted :hmm:

And for those who tell me not to see him again.. its going to ba hard. He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me. I Hope allah will help me.

thats cos he knows you're weak so he tries to use your emotions against you. men can be veeeery cunning in order to get their own way...
why does he sit next to you? would he sit next to you if your dad was there? no! would he dare mess with you if he see's you with your family? no! so you see how ill in character and wimps these people are? a true man with true honor approaches a girl through her fortress> her family. till then, it's all games.

i know you said that you cant change classes, but i advice you to seriously consider dropping uni or transferring to your course by correspondence. you just gotta do what ya gotta do.

 

[Salahudeen]

We believe it to be a sin because our creator tells us it's a sin. We don't make it up ourselves we believe it's a divinely revealed command from God.

Human feelins and emotions may come first for you, but for us what our master tells us comes first.

and the fact that she loves him doesn't mean anything, how many people love things that are bad for them?? does that mean they should indulge in them regardlgess?

Your emotions aren't always correct, emotions can be a form of desire, just because you desire something doesn't mean it's the correct option, if anything at the time your following your emotions you make the worst choice because your not thinking logically with your head. Your being led by your emotions, just like the person who takes drugs or indulges in any other sin, they're following their emotions and desires not thinking with their head. Just like the person who takes drugs, he knows logically when he thinks about it with his head that drugs are bad for him however his emotions and desires lead him to take the drug.

Does this mean that this is the correct thing to do because his human feelings and emotions lead him to it.

Similarly when a person is in love, they may be in love with some 1 that isn't good for them but their emotions and human feelings tell them the opposite so they carry on but this isn't always the best option. It's common you see women stay with abusive guys or they leave the guy and always end up going back to him because they follow their emotions and feelings.

I know of so many stories where a women has gotten back together with a guy who abused her and when asked why the answer was " I love him" she's ovbiously following her emotions and feelings which are leading her into the wrong thing which is getting back together with a guy who's abusing her. If she were to use her head she'd logically come to the conclusion that getting back together with the guy isn't correct because he abuses her.

So just like the above example shows your emotions and feelings don't always lead you towards the correct option.

 

[talipot]

If you think you are better thinker than Muhamed pbuh , he did not write the Qur'an it was revealed to him, so you brother try to think of a passage that would match the Qur'an. May Allah show you the right way .

 

[جوري]

luving a human being is not bad, sir. what are you saying? you wud condone a man killing innocent ppl in name of allah but term it a sin to luv human being. ridiculous logic??

Emotions by themselves have no connotation until one acts on them, and indeed acting on them by unlawful means can be bad. Now, I have no idea which man killing in the name of Allah you are talking about, or what this has to do with a thread about fornication, flawed logic and conclusion that does not follow from the premise of the thread as usual!

The brain is there to think my fren. If you can't think of your own brain god may have given only muhammed the brain to think wats good for human being. rest of us wud have been without it. But its not the case. That shows allah want u also to think and not blindly follow wat was said thousand years ago.

I think indeed you may have been blue-pencilled some gray matter.. if the OP was looking for the ragtag and bobtail response, I am sure she would have subscribed to your forum. Now, given that this is an Islamic board, catering to Muslims, I reckon which is looking for is the Muslim advise.. so take a hike and all the best of course!

 

[cat eyes]

The brain is there to think my fren. If you can't think of your own brain god may have given only muhammed the brain to think wats good for human being. rest of us wud have been without it.

true. none of us have brain like the prophet mohammad pbuh we can't even come close so Allah dose not have these high expectations of humans that we should totally follow everything according to our prophet mohammad pbuh we can try but Allah knows we surely can't achieve it.. we will make mistakes along the way so we are told to repent because if we did not know right from wrong we would surely be retarded.