Im so angry at my family.

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Sometimes its good to get it off your chest. :)

May Allah make your path as easy as he can. It's a test yes, but it would appear people are taking advantage of your good nature. Don't let them walk over you, as they know you'll be there to pick up the pieces as you have done. You're father shall pay for what he's done! As will the rest of your family. I'd suggest yousell your houe and take your mum and begin anew life, het married if you've not. Then watch the rest of your family cope and pull their socks up!

Guru Fateh!
 
liono79 said:
Assalaam O Laikum, brothes, sisters and all.
I really appreciate all the advice given, I relly do deep down. Im currently updating my cv (almost completed). It has quite a large gap. Im worried employers will be put of by this.
Im not not on any benefits and have never done so. Most of my savings have well been used up. My confidence is also down. Would it be best to leave the gap as it is and explain to any prospective employer that I have been caring for my sisters. Please any advice appreciated,
waslaam.
Click to expand...

It would be better if the gap would be with reasonable justification. Actually it depends upon the employer to employer - if they are straighforward they do not mind. And moreover dont let your background shadow ur job perspective. be positive, the strength comes from inside. if its rejected by one employer then go for the second, the third, and just keep trying till u find . If you dont leave trying u will surely find one ,and that too may be u will find more than one, than choose the best out of it. but now u need to be strong and decide it in urself that if u earn a job that will help the family and u in the most positive way-hence common be enthusiastic :statisfie.
 
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Assalaam O Laikum everyone.
Im really down today :cry:. Its all going downhil again, like it has been for years. Im so sorry everyone, but I dont have anyone else to talk to. My brother continues to do his bad deeds in the house. My sisters not taking her medication, my other sisters not on talking terms with my mum. I hate it, just hate it. All I ever wanted in my familly was resect and love between ourselves and respect for one another.

I always feel like running away but dont have the courage. Also I cant as I have too much responsibility on my head too much pressure.
Its the good ones that try to do the best that dont get anywhere.
I wish I could escape this life and start a new life for me, Im 28, and all I ever seem to do is help others.
I cant even think for myself. I cant even think about getting married as what am I supposed to do bring a decent girl in in our house full of badness.
I wish Allah swt would help me. Ive waited so long, held it all in in.
Sorry everyone :cry::cry::cry:
 
done loose heart akhee. See first accept it that they are not going to change all of a sudden and dont try to change that also. first u stand on your feet ignoring whatsoever comes in your way. for time being just ignore them as its practically not going to lead you anywhere. its like the bad is gulping the good also. first of all stand on your feet its very important,and then the ways will open automatically, Allah Tallah will surely help you, He knows everyone and everybody. but you put atleast a step and the way will inshallah automatically build up.
 
:sl:

Subhanallah... Remember your creator is there, listening to your every cry. For all the pain and suffering you undergo, you will be rewarded InshaAllah. Never despair of the mercy of Allah. Allah tests those that He loves. You are being tested brother, this whole dunya is a test. "Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full without reckoning."

Remember that dua is the weapon of the believer, it can change your destiny... put your trust in Allah and pray, believing that he will help you, and then He will Insha'Allah.

"After every hardship comes relief."

We just have to hold on until then inshaallah... All the best brother...

:w:
 
May Allah help you and give ur family members true guidance and Understanding...Ameen
 
:sl:

ive lived many similar things...still am...

asi sat night after night outside just staring the sky..thinking..why i had to be the mum in the house..the dad in the house...i was only 12 when the load of my family was placed on my shoulders...

i just have to say that it aint getting any better bro...ur family is ur worldy test...dont fail it...trust Allah..know that it is from him and that hopefully ur gna have a fully sick wife who is gna take all that load off ur shoulders...and if it doesnt happen...off to heaven u go insallah..just dont fail..dont give in the sheytan...

i always say this:

there are two types of silence...one is filled with serenity and peace...the other is filled with vesvese..whispers from the devil...

killing ur hope...ur strenght and ur trust in Allah is the greatest acheievement shaytan can attain...dont give it to him. he will always strike when we are vulnerable...and u are always vulnerable coz of ur situation...so hes gna pick on u a lot.....refrain from silence...always vent...

i urge you to write letters...i have bookloads written to my non-existent husband from when i was like 14...its differnt to a diary...your actually telling someone...helps you to see thru the emotions puts things into perspective...

or you could always write to us...:)

there was one ayah which kept me and keeps me alive and well inshallah...

"La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha"

'Allah will never burden his creations with a load they cannot carry'..or something like that...

you can carry this bro...noone else can..ur brothers cant...they are weak...Allah chooses some of us to be shepherds and others to be sheep. a day will come where Allah shows you the fork in the road..trust me..you will be given the ability to chose whether or not you wana remain a shepherd....and trust me...you wont wnaa change when the day comes...

wud u wana be any diferent at the moement...im sure what u have lived has drawn you to a different level..where noone understands you...where u look at other people and think..."how sad...how silly..how lame...wake up" and u will hate everyone..

which is what u are doing...

bt just remmeber that Allah created them..and they have tests of their own..tests which only they can carry...tests suited to their level...dont diss them for not being as respoisble as you are...they are merely human..they are petty...impotent...they are blind...

i always think...

if i am so hurt by some of the actions of some people....imagine how Allah feels...he has created us above any other being...we are the apples of his eye so to speak...and look at what we do...dont you think he has the right to be hurt...?

i'd burn us all too if i were him...

ok..im gna shut up...

salams...remember that there is khayr in everything Allah does...you mite not see it now..bt u will one day...so ur only job rite now is to be patient...

w/s

sevgi
 
:sl:

hey, hope this receives with the best health and imaan. be strong.. out all the 28 year olds in the world, alot of them have nt been thru what have been thru what u have..that makes u a very strong man, just parapharasing.. i think the Rasul SAW said wid enough imaan the problems/calamities of this dunya become easier inshallah. Has noone ever told u.. that the Good ones suffer more, are constantly afflicted , because you know why,??
He loves his believers and thats a fact!!

He loves those who he tests,this dunya is never perfect for a believer, but there will be peace inshallah.. Do u not believe and Allah and his messenger..YES OFFCOURSE u do.. and those who do and show patience will get the reward, the full reward inshallah.
Dnt cry, Allah knows how ur feeling, every tear , remember this.. Crying never makes you stronger, i used to think it did, it doesnt, You can handle this, how long have u been doing this hey.. long time now.. and ur going to let go.. Uve seen the worst, the worst is over.. its just another hurdle which u will get thru, if u believe u can, and u can, Allah will always been on the side of the good inshallah.You think hes nt watching, hearing all this.. jihad in its self perhaps.

Remember the Rasul SAW, he faced alot of problems he lost his wife, uncle and i fink people at the same time rejected him badly for preaching all the in the same yr. (i fink.). what am saying is he had trust in Allah, 100%..and he gt thru it. hes suffered more than any1 in this dunya and he was Allah SWT Beloved. Jannah Firduous is his, and inshallah u will get ur reward.
When u feel low or depressed try to read abt this amazing man, our final prophet SAW, inshallah it will help.

Give time to urself, take time out for urself.. go to the park somewhere quite to think and refresh. Go to the mosque for some peace. meet friends , but be away for a short while- me time is very important.
I really hope Allah SWT gives u ease, gives hidyat to ur siblings and health to ur sis and mum inshallah.

Check this URL below, for the nasheed Allah knows:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIEoWSB63hI

Best wishes, May Allah SWT bring you ease and peace. He will nt bear a burden u cannot bear inshallah.. Remember that, Trust him:D

:w:
 
:sl:
Just gotta say bro, you're mum must be so proud of you. Even if she may not say it or show it..With regards to the gaps in employment. Just be honest and be yourself.
Insha'allah everything'll go well for you..
You're in my duahs..
Sorry i haven't been able to give you advice. Only a person who's going through a situation knows what it's like and at least you are trying to be optimistic about life by getting a job again and being there for you family..
chin up :)
 
asalam alaikum everyone. Hope you and you family are in good health. I've been reading through the posts and trying to take as much as I can in. Currently my sisters health is detiorating as it has for the past 2 years. She refuses to take her medication and becomes very violent and swears at whom she wishes especially our mum. She suffers from schizophrenia. I get really down as this happens everyday, its really hard.

Im ashamed of some of my brothers and my other sisters. They should be giving more family support instead of all the load being on my mum and me.
Anyway thaks for the support. I really do appreciate it. If I hadnt found this website I think I might have ran away a long time ago. I guess the key for us is to pray and be more sabr. Im hope and pray to almighty allah swt that we get some relief. Like someone on here said "After every hardship comes relief"
Were just waiting for ours:exhausted.

Wasalam.
 
Firstly i am really sorry for the probs that you have been experiencing but it seems that not having a father figure in your life has severly affected every 1 of your family however as the majority have shown no respect for your mother and have involved themselves in the downward spiral of intoxicants, is it not possible for you to maybe move out with your mother and focus your energy on the ones that need you and not the ones who are obviously taking your mother's and your knidness for granted. You are the youngest and do not need to carry the burden of your elder brothers remember you need to be strong for your mother and she is ultimately the only one you should feel responsible for. Your bros are old enough to look after themselves and do not forget that you also have future to live for. You need to focus on two people you and your mother and obv your sis that needs help however she also needs to take responsibilty for her own health. because you have taken on every bodys worries they do not need to worry, the minute you let them be independent then that will be the day that they will insha allah come to their senses and start to take responsibilty for their own lives and let you get on with yours. Remember you also will hopefully be starting a family of your own.You can not let the past destroy your future nor should you let the family members that do not show any concern for you destroy your present.May Allah give you the happiness that you deserve.
 
:sl:
good to hear ur okay, just want to say, firstly ur sis is going tru siomething u cant control, this illness isnt nice but do ur best to be strong and supportive and interact wid her.if she was well she wouldnt say these things, so dont take these things to heart. Illness is from Allah SWT, something u dont have control of, do ur best to be der, wid time this illness will get better.. it takes time, but u will get der inshallah and secondly, i know u must feel very low, despair and upset , but remember if u thought of running away, than thats not fair on ur family members who need you, i.e. mum, sister.Your mum was der when u was a baby, she loved , cared and nutured u and alhamduillah neva left u when it got tough, Paradise lies under the feet of your mother(HADITH), we can really neva level wid the love ur parents gave u when u were younger.... so do what u can to look after ur parents, please Allah swt and be the Son she is going to be proud of!

Best wishes, regards and keep remembering Allah SWT.
Rab rakah
:w:
 
Im finding it really hard today. Nothing has changed. I try my best and still life is exactly the same. I look after my two sisters who are both ill. One of them refuses to take her medication and we get really stressed as she just crys and gets angry. I look after my mum. I do most of the cleaning in the house and some cooking, shopping and everything from putting up the washing on the line to basically everything. My day is one whole chore and its like this everyday. I just wish we had some sort of happiness/health. Believe me if I had a choice of millions of pounds or happiness/health I would choose the latter.Im approaching 29 and I see all my friends getting married and are happy in their jobs. I get embarrassed when they ask me what I do and what I have achieved. I did get a degree in I.T, but things went bad at home with my sisters and I was the one taking all the responsibility and trying to pick the pieces up, calming everyone down and trying my best to put the family together. I wish I could get married but if I did find somebody they would run a mile as would anyone with the atitude of most of my brothers and with my sisters being ill. With the mortgage on my name, I feel stuck and isolated. I can no way afford another mortgage. I cant give this one up either as my mum and others live here and she loves living here. I see her suffering everyday and it hurts me more than anyone in this household. No one cares, neither my father who disapperaed when I was seven or eight neither any of my siblings.
I feel I have trapped myself and sometimes I feel I will be in this situation for life.
I feel bad as my mum has been through so much from having an violent abusive husband for over 25 years. She left her parents and country at a very young age and gave up everything to raise seven of us on her own. Please help, im really confused and most of all very sad.
 
:sl:

subhanAllah :(...try and take each day as it comes. focus on one thing at a time.


may Allah swt guide your siblings to the straight path, bless your sisters with health , reward you for helping your family out and for your sabr. Ameen.

inshAllah one day things will be so much better..have faith in Him.


you have my sincerest duas. inshaAllah.
 
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:sl:

I want To Cry Now Seriously :cry:, I find It sooooo Hard When A Brother Or A Sister Seeks Help and That You can Do NOthing to help Him... Realy It breaks My Heart.

All I and We Can Do Is To Pray For You and For Your Mother and For Your Sisters And All of Your Familly To be Guided, to be Helped , to be healed and Be Blessed by Allah
And Be Protected Against The Evil Shaitan , and finnaly May Allah Grant YOU the Succes The Feeling , The Happyness That You always Been Searching and hoping For Ameeeeeeeeeen ~~My Deeply Sincere Dua ~~

Trust Allah(SWT) , Allah Will Never Leave His Servants Alone and Hopeless........



:w:
 
may Allah make everything easy for u and ur mother and give u both sabr, Allahomma ameen.
 
Brother and sisters. Please can you pray for me. Im feeling so down at the moment. Does anyone know if our prophet PBUH, was ever depressed and if so, what he did to combat this. Also there are certain foods mentioned in the Quran. Is there also any that might be able to help me. Im feeling so low. I just cant eat and am finding it hard to sleep. My energy levels have dropped to zero. Im soo tired. I just want to feel and be normal. Please reply. Any advice would be helpful, Wasalam.
 
Salaam brother,

The prophet saw went through the greatest trials ever, yet he is the most beloved to Allah swt. He was the best of creation, his reaction to every problem is the best example for us inshAllah. He was tested and tortured many times, he lost his parents, his wife and his son in his lifetime, yet his strength, patience and courage cannot be matched by anyone today.

When Aa'isha (Radhiallaahu Anha) asked the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) to describe his most terrible experience, an experience more difficult to bear than the battle of Uhud, he replied, 'Your people caused me many unbearable experiences.' But the worst experience was the day of Aqaba. He said, 'I presented Islaam to Ibn Abdu Yaalail Ibn Abdu Kalaal and he rejected my offer. I departed in a state of depression and recovered only when I arrived at Qarn Tha'aalib. As I raised my head, I saw a cloud over me providing me with shade. Then I saw angel Gabriel in the clouds. He called me and said, "Allaah knows that your people rejected you. And he knows about your proposal to them. I am sending to you the Angel of the mountains who will be at your command." The Angel appeared and greeted me. Then he advised me to instruct him to fold the mountains upon those rejecters of faith.' The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) added to this tale by stating, 'I wish only that Allaah take from their children to worship Allaah alone, associating no partners with Him.’ (Bukhaari/Muslim)

Allah swt tests those he loves, so make yourself stronger and bear each trial with patience. Study the seerah and ask yourself what would the prophet swt do in this position. Seek comfort in prayer inshAllah. I pray that you are able to pass the tests of this life successfully... Ameen.

Have you lost your appetite as a result of depression?

Ws.
 

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