Im so fed up, arggghhh

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true_muslimmah

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:sl:

I just need to get it off my chest, sorry if i seem to be complaining or going on and on but i am really fed up with my life. My family, everything.

I dont know where to start. Atm my head is all over the place.

My mother is very difficult, i do love her dearly but she never understands me. At times i crave for her love and attention. I am the only one in the family with a disability, i am severly deaf in both ears, i wear hearing aids in both ear but i can Alhamdulillah talk well.

They dont seem to understand me. I was disgnosed in 1998 but was hard of hearing before that. I mean i do really try my best, and its not easy being deaf, in fact is is very hard, this is the reason why i havent got a job, no one will employ me, i have no education, i have no career, i have nothing at all and i so want to go out there and prove to my family that my deafness is not a barrier. I will go through many stuggles, i agree with that, but they always put me down.

Im at home 24/7, cooking, cleaning, i do so much but no one seems to appreciate it. I hardly go out, i dont have many freinds anymore, i feel so alone apart from one freind whom i do have but like i said when i wanna go out i have put up with a figt and im struggling financially.

On the other hand im in constant remeberance of Allah SWT, i have faith and i trust Him. I mean im the only practising muslimmah in the family, Allah guided me, sure i fall back and commit mistakes but us human are bound to make them as we are not free of faults.

I just want a life, to be able to go out, make summat of my life.

I can go on and on as my problems are are non-stop.

:w:
 
:sl: So sorry to hear of your troubles.........

You sound like a very intelligent young girl, and there is alot of help that you may get, your disability should not be a barrier. Just remember one thing there are alot worse off than you. My nephew, is Albino, I also have a student who is registered blind and her eyesight has become considerably worse that the school arranged for the mobility unit to come into the school and she has now been given a white stick, but you know what she is determined........nothing is going to stop her from achieving what she wants.

You must not let this get you down the family life you have is "norm" in our culture it is nothing to do with you being deaf. I had to do the same i am now 40.

I have a friend who is married to a deaf man and it is so touching to watch them communicate but they do it........

There is NOTHING to stop you from going out and getting a job, we have a deaf girl working in our local Woolworths. If you have been refused work then i would say that that is discrimination. You have help available to you out there. You just need to recognise this and GO out threre and get it.

I am proud to hear that you are praying and keeping your faith. MashAllah.
But please don't be negative instead stand up and fight and show your courage. May Allah Bless you with his Rehmat. Ameen.:):w:
 
Salam Alaikum, sis

Don't worry, Everyone is special in their own way. Say, you might have the talent in writing, and someday come out with a book of poems/stories etc? lol you know yourself best :thumbs_up No worries, there's portion of rizq for each and every person, although it might differ from one another. You might have impairment in listening but you heart doesn't fail listening to HIM (MashaAllah!). I agree with Zahida, you must be very intelligent! With a big heart of yours, listening wouldn't be a barrier inshaAllah. We won't be able to know the future. Just do the best you can for it:)

What the mind dreams of, the body can achieve.

We'd be praying for you:)
 
you sound so much like my niece...

shes also got a huge hearing problem, but her speech has been affected quite badly.

however regardless of that she is popular and amazing !

i have no doubt in the future she can be successful!


but sis subhanAllah, you are being protected by Allaah! socialising too much outside, going out "having a life" as you say is SOOOOO over-rated!!!! the best life is that which pleases Allaah and the way you described yours i KNOW your pleasing Allaah!!

lifes short remember, let it out whenever you wanna shout out inshAllaah.


you'll be ok, but your EXACTLY like my niece!


i worry bout her, she hasnt got any muslim friends....



hmm but this thread aint bout her :p



Assalamu Alaikum !
 
Sister just because u have hearing problems doesnt mean u cant do something with ur life. I will advise to get urself an education cause u said u could speak properly. I have meet a couple of deaf people and they are extremely sucessful in careers terms. When u have a deficiency in one sense u tend to be an expert in another. Find out which sense that is and use it for ur benifet.

Just wondering have u ever considered getting an cochlear implant? They are very good and basically once u get use to it u start to hear normally. I visited the company once part of an industry visit and they are really good, and it works!!
 
I can only imagine how hard that must be.
To have people misunderstanding you & not giving due respect.
& it seems your family isn't very helpful either.
Don't give up true_muslimmah, prove them wrong, despite your disability, you can still make a difference in the world. There is no reason why you cannot get employment/education. Strive for it, because you've every right to it.

God bless.
 
:sl: Sorry for the delay.


Jazkallah Khair for the replies. They were all so very good and helpful. May Allah SWT reward you all, Aameen.

Sis Zahida: Thank you sis, i agree that there are worse people out there but once i have never complained about my deafness, it was Allah's SWT will for me to be deaf in this life and i believe that Allah SWT will surely in the afterlife give me something way so much better. Its just that i want an understanding family. I have been wearing hearing aids for 11 years now and i was deaf like when i hit 1years olds and still there seems to be no understanding. It makes me cry alot. Because i dont have anyone to relate to.

zircon: :w:, yeah thats also true as well. I mean everyone is unique and gifted in their own way, i just want to fit in thats all.

Mz: Im sorry to hear about neice, may Allah SWT cure her. I know of many people who's speech is affected, that they cannot talk and are profoundly deaf and communicate by sign language. Normally those who were born deaf it will happen with them but i wasnt born deaf so i can talk very well Alhamdulilla. Insha'allah all in good time she will be succesful. My parents are my barrier. They stopping me from doing what i wanna do.
I do not socialise, it is very rare. I dont have that many freinds now but the only freind that i do have, it would be nice to see her once in a while, there is no sin in that right?

Maryam 87: sister i agree with you there. I didnt say i couldnt. I have many other issues regarding this. I have always wanted to become someone in life, to work hard, and wanted my parents to be proud of me but they put me down by saying im deaf, i cant do it. :enough!:

About the cochlea implant, it was never considered and there is no point getting it done now, im 20 Marsha'allah. The doctors had said to me that there is no cure for my deafness. I am very severly deaf, without my hearing aids i cannot hear at all. What i really want is the latest digital hearing aids, those in te canal one. They are made to suit the level of youe hearing loss but are very expensive because i need for both ears. Im also unemployed.

Liberty: Nice of someone to do so. Life is difficult but like i said before i have no complaints. I just want a little bit of understanding. My mum goed when you married do what you want. But why cant i do it now? Before im married? I said to my mum watch i will prove you wrong, i will show you how my deafness isnt gonna stop me from doing so.

The biggest thing that hurts me most is when everyone have a go at me just because i dont get things the first time, since my deafness my ability to do things has been reduced. Like it will take me much more time to learn something a hearing person can do straight away. And if someone tells me to do something witout showing me i can never do it. So i have to get them to demonstrate for me:-[

:w:
 
:sl:

Sorry to here about all your problems, just make dua, Inshallah may Allah make it easy for you
 
Salams sister.. i kinda knw what ur going thru in terms of having a hard time. Life is just hard, but we have to listen to our mums no matter what. She loves, some mums just dnt knw how to show it. We cant blame them they have brought up differently. Anyway as for education and career its never too late. Just try your best.. Hope what i said was a little useful wasalam
 
this is normal..even my parents dont appreciated me and they like my bro. Anyway they still our parents cause allah test our patience and how u tolerate with your parents...dont hate your parent....the heaven is under your parents hand..so love your parents and have a slow talk with you parents and sibling...and friends...sure that they likely to hear something from you if u had difficulty...insyaallah..make more du'a and shalat...be patience:D one day they accept you.:thankyou:
 
paradise786 said:
Salams sister.. i kinda knw what ur going thru in terms of having a hard time. Life is just hard, but we have to listen to our mums no matter what. She loves, some mums just dnt knw how to show it. We cant blame them they have brought up differently. Anyway as for education and career its never too late. Just try your best.. Hope what i said was a little useful wasalam
Click to expand...

Of course i listen to my parents. Im sorry if you got that impression of me.
 
:sl: Little one you have had some good answers to your post. The thing about what your mum says to you getting married and then do what you want........ LOL i had that too. I was the youngest of eight and overly protected...Anyway explain to mom that you don't want to go out there and do something wrongbut just want to go out there and better yourself.

Little one can i ask you why you didn't recieve any support from where you went to school??? Am baffled about this....

You know what i have a feeling that you will be successful.Ameen you just need to give yourself time and be patient. InshAllah Allah is with you.:w::thumbs_up
 
I feel sooooo hurt right now. My tears are uncontrolable. I dont understand anything anymore. Is it wrong to say i want to move out?
 
Greetings and peace be with you true_muslimmah;

I am so sorry to hear about your pain, you have a wonderful faith and trust in Allah despite all your problems. You are an example to us all.

You write things down so well, have you ever thought of putting all your feelings down on paper and giving it to your mum to read. As to moving out you are probably the best judge of that, but somehow you still need to keep trying to rebuild relations with your family, despite all the problems.

I hope there are some kind muslimmahs to give you a big hug.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric
 
:sl: You know i really do want to just give you a great big hug just now and tell you that evrything will be ok. Sometimes honey wec read too much into a situation and need to put things into perspective. Life is a test and Allah is watching our every move. You must not give up but like i said before you have to make things better for yourself.

You have help out there you just have to reach out and take it............... I pray that Allah (SWT) eases your pain and guides you........ Sometimes you got to take the irst step. Don't hurt your parents thats the last thing on your mind but rather talk with them sweet tell them how you are feeling. Do you have brothers/sisters talk to them and see if they will support you also.

You know to me it sounds like alot of your problems are stemming from our "pakistani" culture and this frustrates me sooooo much!!

I really do hope that you will be sensible enough and strong enough to sort things out in a sensible manner. InshAllah. Moving out is running away, so please don't do that. I really hope that things improve for you soon, as humans we are very impatient and when we want something we want them straight away. Give yourself and your situation time and InshAllah you will see a brighter future and then wonder whay all the fuss was about. !!

Ameen , take care little one.:thankyou:
 

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