about a year ago, I did something I'm not proud of which continues to haunt me to this day.....I've decided to take a vow of silence, but I'm worried this will result in radicalization, as my only way of expressing myself could, later down the road, if I get desperate enough....violence.....should I not take a vow of silence? or should I take a vow of silence and avoid becoming radicalized...? if so, how do I do it?
I'm taking a vow of silence, how do I not feel violent urges?
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Little_Lion
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How would taking a vow of silence make any more of a difference from simple repentance to Allah for whatever you did?
because what I did would get me into huge trouble if anyone found out.....
also, one other thing.....I drowned myself and hit my head against the wall out of guilt multiple times in the past, as well as hung myself with a belt today, out of guilt
Little_Lion
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Self-harm is not going to take away your guilt, only sincere repentance to Allah will do that. And you don't have to do it publicly, or even out loud. So there is no reason for a vow of silence. And there is DEFINITELY no need for drowning yourself, hitting your head against a wall, or hanging yourself with a belt. Allah and his Messenger (pbuh) never prescribed anything of the sort for alleviating guilt.
Do your parents know you have been harming yourself? Do you have an additional caretaker or doctor that you should tell about that?
Do your parents know you have been harming yourself? Do you have an additional caretaker or doctor that you should tell about that?
I'll take your advice, sister, and yes, my counselor and psychiatrist know that I have hurt myself....but Ill take your advice....jazakallaha khair
mjyschlink
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Please do not hurt yourself...there are still good things in life...you just have to search them out and move towards them the best way you can... Speaking.
Little_Lion
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You take care of yourself, brother. It makes me very sad to think of you harming yourself.
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Proves nothing except you are being unreasonable with the gifts Allah blessed you with - learn to use the tongue wisely, or keep it shut when you cannot - do not curb it alltogether so that your silent scream is only deafening to your own heart.
If you find something beatiful, express it... if you disapprove of something, approach it tactfully.
If you feel you cannot act accordingly, then contemplate.
There's a bigger world inside your mind than what your eyes can see.
Scimi
:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
(Peace be upon you)
Brother, I'm sad to hear that you've been harming yourself. I do want you to keep in mind that everything in your mind seems worse because of your autism. It doesn't mean that it actually is; it just means that it can seem to you that way when it might not be so. I also don't see how keeping a vow of silence is going to help in your situation as our beautiful sister Little_Lion said. Please know that Allah has addressed you and anyone who feels badly about anything in the way of sin in this ayah (verse) of the Quran (39:53):
"O ’Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
If God can forgive you for your sins, the least you can do is forgive also yourself for your errors in judgment in having committed those sins. Just keep moving forward and avoid committing those same sins in the future; if you fall prey to your nafs (ego) and shaitaan's (satan's) whispers and commit those same sins, then again repent and ask forgiveness of those sins. Keep doing so because Allah doesn't get tired of forgiving sins and so you shouldn't feel yourself getting tired of asking forgiveness:
Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Allah, the Exalted, has said: 'O son of Adam! I shall go on forgiving you so long as you pray to Me and aspire for My forgiveness whatever may be your sins. O son of Adam! I do not care even if your sins should pile up to the sky and should you beg pardon of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam! If you come to Me with an earthful of sins and meet Me, not associating anything with Me in worship, I will certainly grant you as much pardon as will fill the earth.'"
Also, Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said that whenever he used to perceive a veil in his heart, he used to make zikr (remembrance) of forgiveness 100 times a day, which is easy to do, as all you have to do is say "astaghfirullah" ("I seek forgiveness from Allah").
And Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If anyone constantly seeks pardon (from Allah), Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide sustenance for him from where he expects not."
Your key to how to move positively forward from any distress and stress is to constantly ask for forgiveness no matter where you are or what has happened; as for any idea that you'll become radicalized, don't ever think so negatively as Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "A good attitude is a blessing and a bad attitude is a calamity."
The thing is that you'll have disappoints in your life. I do, and you'll do too. The way to think about disappointments is to see them as windows of opportunity or calling to do something better or to improve yourself in some way; if life throws a lemon at you, are you going to make a lemonade or just grumble and feel badly about that lemon? You choose. Always. And all I'd suggest is that you choose wisely.
The key to happiness, after all, isn't that you have a perfect life but that you are perfectly happy with whatever you've been blessed and wherever you are in whatever condition.
:wa: (And peace be upon you)
(Peace be upon you)Brother, I'm sad to hear that you've been harming yourself. I do want you to keep in mind that everything in your mind seems worse because of your autism. It doesn't mean that it actually is; it just means that it can seem to you that way when it might not be so. I also don't see how keeping a vow of silence is going to help in your situation as our beautiful sister Little_Lion said. Please know that Allah has addressed you and anyone who feels badly about anything in the way of sin in this ayah (verse) of the Quran (39:53):
"O ’Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
If God can forgive you for your sins, the least you can do is forgive also yourself for your errors in judgment in having committed those sins. Just keep moving forward and avoid committing those same sins in the future; if you fall prey to your nafs (ego) and shaitaan's (satan's) whispers and commit those same sins, then again repent and ask forgiveness of those sins. Keep doing so because Allah doesn't get tired of forgiving sins and so you shouldn't feel yourself getting tired of asking forgiveness:
Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Allah, the Exalted, has said: 'O son of Adam! I shall go on forgiving you so long as you pray to Me and aspire for My forgiveness whatever may be your sins. O son of Adam! I do not care even if your sins should pile up to the sky and should you beg pardon of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam! If you come to Me with an earthful of sins and meet Me, not associating anything with Me in worship, I will certainly grant you as much pardon as will fill the earth.'"
Also, Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said that whenever he used to perceive a veil in his heart, he used to make zikr (remembrance) of forgiveness 100 times a day, which is easy to do, as all you have to do is say "astaghfirullah" ("I seek forgiveness from Allah").
And Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If anyone constantly seeks pardon (from Allah), Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide sustenance for him from where he expects not."
Your key to how to move positively forward from any distress and stress is to constantly ask for forgiveness no matter where you are or what has happened; as for any idea that you'll become radicalized, don't ever think so negatively as Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "A good attitude is a blessing and a bad attitude is a calamity."
The thing is that you'll have disappoints in your life. I do, and you'll do too. The way to think about disappointments is to see them as windows of opportunity or calling to do something better or to improve yourself in some way; if life throws a lemon at you, are you going to make a lemonade or just grumble and feel badly about that lemon? You choose. Always. And all I'd suggest is that you choose wisely.
The key to happiness, after all, isn't that you have a perfect life but that you are perfectly happy with whatever you've been blessed and wherever you are in whatever condition.
:wa: (And peace be upon you)
Huzaifah ibn Adam
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In Islaam, there is no such thing as a "vow of silence".
Regardless of what a person has done, if he repents, Allaah Ta`aalaa will forgive him. If you have wronged someone, seek the forgiveness of that person as well.
Regardless of what a person has done, if he repents, Allaah Ta`aalaa will forgive him. If you have wronged someone, seek the forgiveness of that person as well.
والسلام
Serinity
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Always go with the mindset:
"Allah ONLY wants good for me" Allah loves you.
It is usually shaytaan that is trying to make us think negatively of Allah, and perhaps that Allah may hate me. If the thought of "I think Allah hates me" prevents you from asking forgiveness, then know that it is from Shaytaan, cause Allah does not hate you.
Allah hates to put you into Hellfire, He hates it soo much He is angry to have someone go to Hellfire, because why would you choose Hellfire over being with your Rabb?
There is a bad fear for Allah, and a good fear. A fear for Allah that turns into hatred for Allah (is very bad).
any scholar can confirm.
Allahu alam.
how powerful is your voice that you would have to resort to violence without it?
...Maybe you know something i don't.
Maybe those that can't express themselves are quick towards violence.
it's always a tip of an iceberg.
Maybe you should take up art.
tumult and oppression is worse than death.
...or soldiers in attendance.
I have no idea.
it's a cat and mouse game.
would you rather the mouse in your house or his..
or neither.
Maybe you would be better off not thinking about it at all..
more effective.
because you know what they say..
those that can't do.. teach.
don't become wooden pinochio whatever you do.
one, two, three..
we're off to see the wizard.. the wonderful wizard of OZ..
...Maybe you know something i don't.
Maybe those that can't express themselves are quick towards violence.
it's always a tip of an iceberg.
Maybe you should take up art.
tumult and oppression is worse than death.
...or soldiers in attendance.
I have no idea.
it's a cat and mouse game.
would you rather the mouse in your house or his..
or neither.
Maybe you would be better off not thinking about it at all..
more effective.
because you know what they say..
those that can't do.. teach.
don't become wooden pinochio whatever you do.
one, two, three..
we're off to see the wizard.. the wonderful wizard of OZ..
Last edited:
aaj
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As other have mention, repentance is the answer you should be seeking. There is no such thing as "vow of silence" in Islam. Self harming is also haram since your body has a right over you and you are not allowed to harm it. Also, Allah is very merciful and wants you to repent and turn back to him.
Whoever repents after doing wrong, Allaah will accept his repentance, for Allaah is Forgiving and Merciful.
“But whosoever repents after his crime and does righteous good deeds (by obeying Allaah), then verily, Allaah will pardon him (accept his repentance). Verily, Allaah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful [al-Maa’idah 5:39 – interpretation of the meaning]
Allaah is Forgiving and Generous. He commands all His slaves to repent sincerely so that they may gain the mercy of Allaah and His Paradise. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will expiate from you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise)” [al-Tahreem 66:8]
More at: https://islamqa.info/en/14289
Whoever repents after doing wrong, Allaah will accept his repentance, for Allaah is Forgiving and Merciful.
“But whosoever repents after his crime and does righteous good deeds (by obeying Allaah), then verily, Allaah will pardon him (accept his repentance). Verily, Allaah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful [al-Maa’idah 5:39 – interpretation of the meaning]
Allaah is Forgiving and Generous. He commands all His slaves to repent sincerely so that they may gain the mercy of Allaah and His Paradise. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will expiate from you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise)” [al-Tahreem 66:8]
More at: https://islamqa.info/en/14289