In a very sorry state.

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assalamulaikun

I am having some stress of lately. My engagement/ marriage alliance with a relative brother was called of. The reason is that i'm not good enough for him in terms of appearance. Life shattered for me. My parents were upset. Due to recent events, i feel veri lousy. I ost faith in getting married. I have a low self esteem. Now i think that marriage is for beautiful people onli. Its not for girls like me. Living in this world is so hard.... Can some1 dua for me for a piece of mind. i need peace.....

Feeling pathetic....
 
Sister i understand how you are feeling do not worry we are here to comfort you,so plz stay strong and make dua,and about the marriage inshallah u will pick urself and bounce back in no time its hes loss

thank you
 
Salam Alaikum My Dear Sister:

Alhamdulillah, you were saved from that marriage! If he only cared about looks he is a shallow individual and your life with him would have been miserable.

These types of men want beautiful, gorgeous women and forget that after the babies, and years of hard work, they will lose that beauty and when they do I sincerely hope they have a brain in their head because conversation will be the only thing left!!

Will he abandon them when the beauty fades? One thing is for sure, dear sister...he won't be doing it to you!!!

I'm sure Allah, swt, has something much better for you. Thank God you were saved from this man.

May Allah, swt, ease your sadness and bring you nothing but love, health and happiness. Ameen

Wasalam,
Hana
 
AhLÄÄM said:
:salamext:

Sis, life is harsh n crap. Stay unmarried and life will be a lot more easier.
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please refrain from giving 'dodgy' advice insha Allah. you're supposed to islamically advise the original poster, not express your own personal opinions on how you would deal with a situstion of this nature. give me solid proof of how staying unmarried means a generally easier life. actually don't - the simple answer is: what you just said is a just a statement which holds no weight.

but as ahmedjunior said, his loss. insha Allah you'll feel better soon and aameen to alpha's dua. and no, marriage is not for "beautiful" people only and not to forget, everyone's beautiful in their own ways. just give it time sister, things may turn out for the better in future. Allah knows best.
 
AnonymousGender said:
assalamulaikun

I am having some stress of lately. My engagement/ marriage alliance with a relative brother was called of. The reason is that i'm not good enough for him in terms of appearance. Life shattered for me. My parents were upset. Due to recent events, i feel veri lousy. I ost faith in getting married. I have a low self esteem. Now i think that marriage is for beautiful people onli. Its not for girls like me. Living in this world is so hard.... Can some1 dua for me for a piece of mind. i need peace.....

Feeling pathetic....
Click to expand...

:sl: sis,

That guy thought u weren't good enough for him?HA.What a looser;:mmokay:seriously,would you want an arrogant man like that?I've known a fair share of "handsome" guys with arrogant/ self-centered/ in-love-with-themselves personalities;truth is:they don't think anyone is good enough for them.So,in the end,they'll be the ones who grow old and stay alone...And to be quite honest,I think most women(including myself) would take an average looking guy over a handsome arrogant one any day,the same probably applies for men,right?

I know it must be hard,but one man should not be able to shatter your entire self-esteem;you need to be stronger than that:D I've heard of alot of average looking girls with the most handsome men;personality and faith shines through!Not all good looking guy want what is classified by society as being "pretty",some men find women beautiful,while others might think she's not.

Anyway,beauty is in the eye of the beholder;so don't worry sis;insh'Allah you'll find someone(or he'll find you,lol) perfect for you.

Try not to get yourself down because of this guy;let him think whatever he wants;maybe it's a blessing that you didn't end up with him,Allahu'3alam!And try not to care what people think about you;love yourself no matter what,be confident in who you are;you won't need other people's opinion to believe your beautiful;you'll know you already are...

I wish every girl would realise that.:hiding:

Ok.I sound sort of cheesy don't I?Lol.

I'll finish off by telling you that everyone has to go through their fair share of hardaches in this world;so don't feel too bad.Some people loose a parent,some people get diagnosed with frightening diseases,some loose all their life savings;some never had any life savings...there will always be someone worse off than you are;count your blessings,sometimes even hardaches can be secret blessings.


Best of luck!
:w:
 
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My sister is 39, she is average and her husband is good looking mashallah.

I know a sister , who is 23 , who is on the larger side, saying that with respect. She dont date or anything, but there are guys who come in contact with her , through work and suff like that , who end up wanting to marry her , and these guys are goodlooling guys , her personality is like a magnet
 
a suitable partner should be chosen based on

1) Deen


as Beauty is only whilst you are young, today you have it and tomorrow it has faded away. Wealth is God given - if its given to you today then Allah may take it away from you tomorrow.

therefore Deen is the only thing that will help you have a successful marriage and if the person was only looking at superficial things then you need to think yourself lucky and although we dont know it may have been a secret blessing from Allah to escape a life from such a partner.

NEVER let anyone make you feel that you are not worth it and make you feel as low as you do - a woman needs security and love from the man she marries not hurt and insecurity - marriage are made in heaven therefore Allah swt decided this wasnt menat to be so who are we do disagree.

Just do dua that Allah swt has taken this from you but that he gives you something better in its place.:sunny: if you look carefully you will always find a silver lining - stay positive and trust in Allah - i know it hurts now but one day you will be relieved!
 
AssalamuAlaykum

May Allah (swt) ease your worries and make your burdens light, Ameen! Allah does not overurden any soul and is always with the patient, SubhanAllah. Your engagement was called off, I sympathise with you sis but you have to remember that things arent always straighforward in life, you win some and you lose some...in this case I'd say HE lost, but remember this....difficulties and sorrows are there to make you stronger, sometimes we get so caught up in our woes that we forget the good it is actually doing to us. As a sister said; you've been saved subhanAllah from getting married to such a shallow person. Have patience sis for these things are decided up high- with Allah...and whatever He plans will come to pass, as He is the best of planners. All the best sis.

WassalamuAlaykum
 
AhLÄÄM said:
:salamext:

Sis, life is harsh n crap. Stay unmarried and life will be a lot more easier.
Click to expand...

:w: Subhan Allaah sis, what kind of advice is that? The sister is already feeling low and you're only making her feel worse by making such a comment. As someone said before, it's best to give advice from an Islaamic viewpoint not one out of your own nafs and opinions. It's best you refrain from giving such advice ever again inshaa Allaah, lest you want any bad implications occuring from the 'advice' that you've given.

Alpha Dude said:
:sl:
May Allah make things easy for you and grant you with a strong, handsome and pious husband, much better than the one that rejected you, ameen. :)
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Ameen.
 
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Remember that you are not alone! Allah Ta'ala always be there for you!

The Prophet (SAW) advises men as how to have a good marriage. Men must ignore some of their wives mistakes and attitudes as long as they are not sins. The Prophet acknowledges that changing these attitudes is difficult. Women, Just like men, are not perfect. To enjoy marriage, men must forgive the bad attitudes and habits, and remember, the good ones. Surely in most cases, the good sides are more than the bad sides. For the husband to hate his wife, ignoring the good in her, means the destruction of their marriage. Many men want their wives to be perfect. This is not possible to achieve. If men ignore this fact, then misery and depression will fill their marriage, and this may lead to divorce. The Prophet (SAW) advises the believers to protect their marriage by correcting the impermissible behavior of their wives, and not force change in matters that are not sins.

Allah Hafiz
Sister Fatima
 
Hi everyone , i read the post again, why is everyone attacking this brother, your all saying he is not worth it , you dont even know him . All he did was say he was not attrated to the dear sister , thats all .

So everyman has to say yes to the first girl he see's . yes beauty should not be top of the list , but if he is not attracted to her, he will always look at other girls and that,

I have been rejected plenty of times, but it doesnt mean those girls are bad people, they just wont attracted to me.

And sister you say it was called off , so you mean he did say yes at the begining , coz if he said no at the begining then there would be nothing to call off.

Im being blunt here , if your a avearge looking guy you can get a goodlooking girl , there is a greater chance, girls look at the overall picture

Guys just look at looks, they not really bothered, im 26 , and unmarried, and i dont mind an avearage looking wife, because as you get older you realise personality counts more.

I consider my self average to below average , but if i were to be become famous tomorrow , i gaurantee i can get a looker.

Example if you look at kate moss, sienna miler , chrtistina aguilera , jennifer lopez, ashwairya rai, and more , their partners aint no male models, their just average geezers, not that i condone reading all those pointless showbiz gossip


But if your an average looking girl who is famous , you aint gettin no male model

Sisters , unfortuanately men are not like women, yes we can be shallow at times, we are visual creatures.
 
AnonymousGender said:
assalamulaikun

The reason is that i'm not good enough for him in terms of appearance. Life shattered for me.
Click to expand...

So erm... I take it he is some sort of Upen Patel/John Abraham lookalike>?... YEAAAAAA RYYYYYYTTTT!!! Sorry 2 be so harsh girl, but SCREWWWWWW HIMMMM!! GUYS LIKE THAT SIMPLY AINT WORTH IT! He will learn... just the hard way. Let him find some gorjus looker.... lets see how he will deal with all the offers she gets and may even take up! HA! Prick.

Seriously though sis, Im sure your gorgeous. Personality is worth millions more than looks anyways. DONT let this put you off all men and more imporatnantly marriage itself. LOL to the post that said sumat to do wit not gettin married at all- funny ....but not true. :D Lol

Wel girl, I know ma post probs aint helped at all but CHIN UP!! SMIIIIIIIIILLLEEEEEEE ;) Time will heal inshaAllah XxXxX
 
:sl:

First of all, the time for marriage is written by Allah SWT, so don't be worried. You will be married when Allah deems it. This guy was not meant to be in your life, so you should not be worried. Be happy that you have been protected from this person.
Until your time to get married comes, complete your education, and become a perfect Muslima. A person's good character makes them beautiful, so don't worry about your appearance. If you are healthy and pious, then you are beautiful.....Alhamdulilah!

Sister, to be honest, if I were in your place, I would make myself a better muslima + a better human being, for example, I would try to gain more knowledge in my deen + wordly education, so I would be in a good position, that I may be able to select my partner rather than be selected myself...:shade:
 
He didnt like your appearance but there's for shure someone out there who does. There are celebrities that I find disgusting and would rather lose an eye than to live with, my point is that while one, two or three thousand men may not like the way you look, another one, two or three thousand will lose an eye in order to be near your beauty be it the inside or outside, just know that someone, somewhere, out there will fight to be near your beauty!
 
if he doesn't think you're pretty then he's just probably conceited and doesn't see beauty in any one else but himself oh and def not a good husband, So don't sulk and find someone better because there are plenty of fish in the sea ;) wow that was lame.
 
all he has done is say he's not attracted to the sister, why's everyone blasting this guy, so i suppose everone is gonna marry the first person they see.
 
I'm probably repeating what other people have said:

1- God obviously knows you can do better than that guy, anyone can see that. So cheer up, a much better man culd be just around the corner!

2- We all have different tastes, so what one mind finds average in one woman, another man will find it very attractive (this can be personality traits, physical features, etc).

It just takes a while, don't despair and don't let him occupy one more second's worth of your thoughts! He's not worth it! Easier said than done, but God tests us and puts obstacles in our path to make us stronger and make us grow.

Just give it time and do not despair. You are beautiful and you will be a very lucky man's wife someday.
 

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