AnonymousPoster
Anonymous
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And jazakallahkhair for your help.
Indecision about marriage
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And jazakallahkhair for your help.
omg! I don't believe it :grumbling
AnonymousPoster
Anonymous
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Normally we should be selfless - rather someone else get a bigger portion
etc etc. However in the case of marriage you must be very selfish! After all
you are considering your whole life - and most likely children's life.
Before marriage you must be sure you understand and consider all 'major'
potential issues - and decide if that will really be a problem with you:
Eg.. if she says she wants to work - and you are naturally against a wife
working. You may not raise your objection now - but it may come back to
haunt you later, when she goes out every day etc etc. Or eg if you like to
be in control (some people naturally like to have things their way - or the
highway!) - but she is not the type to easily follow your lead, then there's
going to be problems etc etc etc etc.
My advice is consider all the major issues - be selfish, don't think you
have to say yes, because deep down you feel sorry for them. After all if
there's a major problem down the line and there's a divorce...the woman is
usually the most disadvantaged - so in a way a man being selfish (when
considering marriage) is actually in the best interests of the woman!!!
So in conclusion - she wont be perfect. But you need to base your decision
on: 1) if you find her attractive and 2) if you're happy with major
practical considerations (deen, work, children, health issues etc etc). If
both these points are ok then do istikhara and abide by it - it's supposed
to help you when you need help with a major decision.
etc etc. However in the case of marriage you must be very selfish! After all
you are considering your whole life - and most likely children's life.
Before marriage you must be sure you understand and consider all 'major'
potential issues - and decide if that will really be a problem with you:
Eg.. if she says she wants to work - and you are naturally against a wife
working. You may not raise your objection now - but it may come back to
haunt you later, when she goes out every day etc etc. Or eg if you like to
be in control (some people naturally like to have things their way - or the
highway!) - but she is not the type to easily follow your lead, then there's
going to be problems etc etc etc etc.
My advice is consider all the major issues - be selfish, don't think you
have to say yes, because deep down you feel sorry for them. After all if
there's a major problem down the line and there's a divorce...the woman is
usually the most disadvantaged - so in a way a man being selfish (when
considering marriage) is actually in the best interests of the woman!!!
So in conclusion - she wont be perfect. But you need to base your decision
on: 1) if you find her attractive and 2) if you're happy with major
practical considerations (deen, work, children, health issues etc etc). If
both these points are ok then do istikhara and abide by it - it's supposed
to help you when you need help with a major decision.