Intermingling at Universities

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SyrianFellow

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Salam Alaikum,

I'm a university student in Canada who finds it very hard to lower my gaze at universities. To be honest, I suck at this and I do understand that this is affecting me negatively. As said, I do often study with girls as well, and this has been hurting my iman to the extent where I have missed prayers and occupied my mind about the subject of women.


Any tips? Everywhere I go I see half-dressed, attractive women. As for my friends at school, they only talk about women and how they want to be with them (these include muslims). I used to study at school on a daily basis but recently I have noticed that I've been very distracted especially when I study with a girl. Starting today, I came home right away, watched a few lectures, prayed dhur and came onto this forum to ask for help.

To all students/non students out there living in non muslim countries,

How do you lower your gaze?
How do you control your emotions?
How do you focus on your studies and not girls?

And no, I can't get married due to the fact I have no money. Yes money is an issue when you have barely enough to afford your own tuition and phone bill.

Jazak Allahu Khairan,

SyrianFellow.
 
you have asked a very serious question. I have no clear cut answer for you.

I am also in a Canadian university and am surrounded by women from all races.

It can be hard to lower your gaze. One way to keep yourself in check is to imagine that hot rods of iron will be shoved into our eyes from which we are forced to do zina of eyes. This might help you to lower your gaze.

But yes, I do understand it is not our fault to be surrounded by these temptations of women. Try your best. Get married and whenever you feel tempted, go home, and find solace in your wife.

salam
 
Try not to study with girls. I'm sure there are guys taking the same classes as you are and unless it's a group project I don't see the need for studying with members of the opposite gender.

I focused on my studies by thinking of all of the wonderful things I could do with my degree post-graduation in shaa Allah and how maybe I could do something to help strengthen the local Muslim community in a positive way. I pray that Allah (swt) will bring you a righteous Muslim wife soon.
 
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Enroll into a class that is 99.9% male. If you don't then some of the girls will make uni a living hell for you. They will try every trick in the book to grab your attention, and it may well be that they dont consider you a handsome guy but any form of attention is good attention, it means that their preparation in beautifying themselves will pay dividends eventually.

You have to stay focussed, not on the girls but you're salah, quran and your studies.
 
Salam Alaikum,

Jazak Allahu Kharian for the all replies! I really appreciate this.

CosmicPathos: Thanks for the tip, I will try to focus on that image every time I look astray. As for marriage, I'll still need a few years until I can actually think about that imsad.

Aprender: You're absolutely right about studying with girls. I shouldn't, but I do get tempted to. InshAllah, starting today I'll try my best never to study with them again if I don't need to.

SaneFellow: That video is superb, jazak Allahu Khairan for sharing! Also that thread you made about lowering your gaze has helped me out a lot, I took out a lot of helpful tips from it and I even took down some notes to refer to :statisfie

Cabdullahi: Unfortunately, thats impossible.. unless I'm in engineering lol. Currently I'm in Business and most of my classes have many girls which I can't do anything about. But you are right about how I should get my priorities straight on focusing on what matters.

Thanks again for all the replies! And I hope more will come.
 

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