Is it a sin to marry someone who doesnt pray ??

[Ansariyah]

Im very disgusted with your remarks sister. the scholars have said chose a practicing bro/sis over a non practicing one. are you going to disagree with the scholars now too? :/

u shud look towards ur adab, cause theres nothing 'disgusting' about my post. Besides, praying doesnt necessarily mean 'practising'.

 

[Snowflake]

Relax inshaAllah chums Sadly, this discussion about those who pray and those who don't wouldn't even be happening if muslims had put deen before degrees and the duniya, and had every muslim prayed. However, it's better to choose a person who prays even if they're not a great muslim in other ways. Allah says prayer protects us from other evils, so although it might take time with some people, it's better than having a weak barrier than no barrier at all. Those who don't pray might as well be waving a 'come and get me' sign to the shaytaan. But it's also our duty to call our brothers and sisters to the right path. Maybe if more of us did, they'd be more potential spouses who prayed!

This might sound a bit contradictory to what I said about it's better to choose someone who prays, but actually it isn't. However, we have to remember that in the Prophet's (saw) times all muslims taught their kids about Islam, so nobody was ignorant about the importance of prayer. And in that case if they neglected prayer than others had a right to be wary of them.

Nowadays however, sadly, and very very sadly, some people aren't clued up at all due to their upbringing, so if they are good marriage material otherwise, then they should be given dawah/naseehah to start praying. I'd say 3 months maximum, and that's stretching it.. cuz salah is no light matter. If they start praying then al hamdulillah fantastico! If they don't then don't marry them. At least then there is no excuse for them to not pray.



:wa:

 

[Ansariyah]

The reason we are so dramatic is because missing the prayer is a big sin, The Messenger of Allah (saw) has also said: “The difference between us and them is salaah. Whoever neglects it is a kaafir.” [Reported by Imaam Ahmad and the authors of Sunan with a Saheeh isnaad] –

it is no trivial thing to miss the salah, it is one of the pillars and a building can not stand without it's pillars.

I completely believe the above n am not speaking against that...

but good to see that u too have missed my point.....

 

[cat eyes]

u shud look towards ur adab, cause theres nothing 'disgusting' about my post. Besides, praying doesnt necessarily mean 'practising'.

i will speak out if somebody is being wrongly advised when making one of the biggest decisions of her life.

i suggest you read over your post again so u can understand why i quoted you inshallah.

praying is one of the important pillars of islam and nobody is being dramatic about it. we all are trying to advise th sister according to what the scholars say and not just our own personal opinions.

we should not let our emotions get in the way.

i agree with sis scents. giving dawah would be a good start.

 

[Salahudeen]

I completely believe the above n am not speaking against that...

but good to see that u too have missed my point.....

What is your point? :hmm: that we should marry people who don't pray? or as sister scents said give them dawah first on the importance of prayer then if they don't pray refuse them?

 

[AhmadibnNasroon]

I dont see why people get so dramatic, seriously! We all know that Imaan is always fluctuating, its never the same. If Allah guides someone to pray they'll pray if they want to pray. Theres really no one who loves Allah n Islam n willingly refuses to pray never, there are inner Imaan issues.

We all know that sometimes we are misguided sometimes we need an Imaan boast. I dont understand why we're rulling out all those who don't pray for marriage. Who will help these people if they all rulled out for marriage?

I always hear people asking 'does he pray'? 'does she pray'? How many people pray n still committ sins? I know that our only connection wit Allah is through prayer, thats why I pray...but some people don't know that. They need dawah not a hammer!

Assalamu 3laykum,

The problem with your understanding of this issue is you're basing this on an issue regarding sin. Abandoning of the prayer is not as light as that, in fact, its an issue regarding emaan/kufr as many of the previous posters have mentioned.

Lets keep in mind Abu Bakr a'Siddeeq radiallaahu anhu fought the people who refused to pay zakat, and Zakat is a pillar AFTER salah, so what about the salah? The salah has such great importance that it is the first thing we will be questioned about on yawmul'qiyyamah.

If a person abandons the salah, then this person has expelled himself from the religion. This alone should tell you how serious this is and if a person doesn't pray, how do you expect them to teach your children? The prayer is essential and its value, essence, and importance is only superceded by Tawheed and jihad.

May Allah guide us all

 

[Alpha Dude]

I dont see why people get so dramatic, seriously! We all know that Imaan is always fluctuating, its never the same. If Allah guides someone to pray they'll pray if they want to pray. Theres really no one who loves Allah n Islam n willingly refuses to pray never, there are inner Imaan issues.

We all know that sometimes we are misguided sometimes we need an Imaan boast. I dont understand why we're rulling out all those who don't pray for marriage. Who will help these people if they all rulled out for marriage?

I always hear people asking 'does he pray'? 'does she pray'? How many people pray n still committ sins? I know that our only connection wit Allah is through prayer, thats why I pray...but some people don't know that. They need dawah not a hammer!

I don't think the people here are suggesting that those that don't pray are not in need of dawah. Of course they are and as you allude, using a 'hammer' approach is likely to have a negative consequence. No disagreement there.

However, when it comes to choosing a spouse, it is always better to marry someone that will encourage us in deen. The sister that created this thread is somewhat new to Islam. It would be very unfortunate for her to marry someone that is far from Islam.

She herself is having some difficulty in keeping strong in faith, how is she going to guide another that is further away from Islam than even her?

It's commendable that you don't like to judge people but don't be so emotional and say the first thing that comes into your mind, sister. Look at the context and advise accordingly.

 

[Ansariyah]

i will speak out if somebody is being wrongly advised when making one of the biggest decisions of her life.

i suggest you read over your post again so u can understand why i quoted you inshallah.

praying is one of the important pillars of islam and nobody is being dramatic about it. we all are trying to advise th sister according to what the scholars say and not just our own personal opinions.

we should not let our emotions get in the way.

i agree with sis scents. giving dawah would be a good start.

I think u completely mis'read my post but wat right do u have to call it 'disgusting'? Is this wat u call 'speaking out'? I think ur the 1 who needs to keep her emotions in check, practise wat u preach...miss 'only I give good advice'.

 

[cat eyes]

I think u completely mis'read my post but wat right do u have to call it 'disgusting'? Is this wat u call 'speaking out'? I think ur the 1 who needs to keep her emotions in check, practise wat u preach...miss 'only I give good advice'.

how far you will go to embarrass yourself? just accept that you have purposely given the sister wrong advice.. it will be better for you in future. get rid of your pride and your ego inshallah.

i have not misread your post at all. read the posts here and the evidence that people have given. the one that does not offer any salah puts him out of the fold of islam and for the sister to marry some one like this, it would be almost like she is marrying a non muslim THIS IS WHAT I FIND DISGUSTING!

and then you had the nerve to say that members who are telling the sister on what steps to take according to islam this is all to dramatic for your liking. i mean really if this is not disgusting, i don't know what is. to go against what islam is asking us to do and what is best for us.

again we are not making up all this from our own heads ''miss'' we are following islam.

now you are my sister in islam and i am not picking fight with you. im telling you be careful in future when advising somebody. this has consequences

 

[Ansariyah]

how far you will go to embarrass yourself? just accept that you have purposely given the sister wrong advice.. it will be better for you in future. get rid of your pride and your ego inshallah.

i have not misread your post at all. read the posts here and the evidence that people have given. the one that does not offer any salah puts him out of the fold of islam and for the sister to marry some one like this, it would be almost like she is marrying a non muslim THIS IS WHAT I FIND DISGUSTING!

and then you had the nerve to say that members who are telling the sister on what steps to take according to islam this is all to dramatic for your liking. i mean really if this is not disgusting, i don't know what is. to go against what islam is asking us to do and what is best for us.

again we are not making up all this from our own heads ''miss'' we are following islam.

now you are my sister in islam and i am not picking fight with you. im telling you be careful in future when advising somebody. this has consequences

I got nothing to b emberrassed about, no matter wat flaws I have, atleast im not displaying ur blatant holier than thou attitude. U cudve jst told me ina nice way wat I said wrong, instead of insulting me on a personal level, thats rich coming from someone who speaks of the importance of prayer.

 

[cat eyes]

I got nothing to b emberrassed about, no matter wat flaws I have, atleast im not displaying ur blatant holier than thou attitude. U cudve jst told me ina nice way wat I said wrong, instead of insulting me on a personal level, thats rich coming from someone who speaks of the importance of prayer.

rich for you maybe but let Allah be the judge of me thank you very much he knows my intention!

im not insulting you. im just laying out the facts clearly so sister distressed can see. i said i was disgusted which i was. i was being nice has i could possibly be! your overly sensitive. don't cry now cheer up! i just don't like people saying that for some one to follow islam is being dramatic. you are muslim, you of all people should know, we can not be talking like this.

 

[Ansariyah]

I don't think the people here are suggesting that those that don't pray are not in need of dawah. Of course they are and as you allude, using a 'hammer' approach is likely to have a negative consequence. No disagreement there.

However, when it comes to choosing a spouse, it is always better to marry someone that will encourage us in deen. The sister that created this thread is somewhat new to Islam. It would be very unfortunate for her to marry someone that is far from Islam.

She herself is having some difficulty in keeping strong in faith, how is she going to guide another that is further away from Islam than even her?

It's commendable that you don't like to judge people but don't be so emotional and say the first thing that comes into your mind, sister. Look at the context and advise accordingly.

I will repeat myself again 'sigh'....I never said to the sister marry someone who doesnt pray. I dont have to say wat everyone has already said, I was just stressing the point of dawah with gentleness without jumping to judging n labelling. There are good people wit good characters who don't pray but InshaAllah they will start praying when they are given dawah n Allah guides them.

Also the whole idea of basing the entire marriage decision on 'does he pray' is somewat strange to me, wat about the other factors?

 

[distressed]

Oh dear. no arguments plz! i merely asked a question, debate is healthy..but i hope it remains so.

thanks for the advice. Can i just say, I dont actually pray myself, apart from ramadan. having sed that b4 every1 guns me down, i know how important salah is, I know its one of the pillars etc. I didnt however realise that it was a must 2 pray if that makes sense. I dont come from a background of people that pray, most of my family only started practising maybe 10+ years ago. this is what its like in our community, no1 really prays. Ive taken all the advice on board with regard to a potential partner. although i agree wat your saying i dont think theres any chance of it happening.

although i acknowledge that its a sin, to neglect salah, i dont think its right any1 calling some1 else a kuffar ? if a person acknowledges islam, belives in allah but refuses to pray out of laziness..there still muslim..cos tats me.

saying that, the praying aspect changed today...i had a weird encounter last nite, I was drifting in and out of sleep and heard what sounded like kids screaming, for some reason i think there was a white man with the kids, but i dnt really know, it was pictured in my head, anyway at first i thought it was coming from outside but then i realised it was part of a dream..i then starting feeling anxious and remember someone saying that when you have a bad dream you recite:

A'uzu billahi min ash shaitani r rajimi Bismi 'llahi 'r-rahmani 'r-rahim and then spit over your shoulder I couldnt remember which one ?

I recited it, and as i was asleep on my left side i imitated spittin ova my left shoulder, I felt some kind of force stopping me from doin it, and i felt weak, i recited it a second time, but wen i tried to spit again, my duvet felt like it was fighting against me if that makes any sense, i could barely move my head, but managed to spit again, but i felt a real strong force, trying to over power me. It was auful, im not really good at explaining things, but i could hardly move. my body felt like jelly, and i was unable to move either from fear ? or wat ever this thing was. I dont know. I proceeded to recite 1st kalimah. when i looked at the time it was half 2 (uk time).

this isnt the first time this has happened to me, I used to suffer quite a lot during the nite. Ive had periods where i would either be in pain, & remember something pushing in2 my side, or i either try and move, and then realise i cant, due to being paralysed from waist down. I try to call for help, and nothing comes out of my mouth ? no words. Im left feeling anxious and distressed, so much to the point, where i used to be scared of going to sleep.

I was advised that maybe there was something in the room, as in a bad spirit, (every1 thats slept in the room has had a prob) so i changed the whole layout of my room, which was nearly 2 months ago. Nothing has happened since, so i thort everything was ok, but now this happens again. This has happened to me when i was staying with relatives also, but i remember seeing something white type as in a figure that was pushing into my side..again, i was paralysed waist down and unable to shout/talk. When i told people about this they thort i had lost it, so i tried to put it down to it all being in my head but it wasnt.

It happened so often..I didnt know what to think. the last time i had an episode like this, was when i sat and recited ayatul kursi for an hour in my bedroom...the following nite i get an episode. Im not gona lie, i stopped reading..from then on, for fear of this happening, which was probably wrong of me, but its like everytime i try and do something faith related i get an episode. I just want it to stop, cos i cant handle it. I do read 1st kalimah x3 and also ayatul kursi before i go bed... is there anything else i should be reading ? I know this isnt an excuse, but everytime i try something bad happens.

can i put this down to shaytaan ? (& me recently familirising myself with islam again ?)If so how come now ? why doesnt it happen to any1 else. As far as im aware, it doesnt happen 2 other non- practising people..none of this happens to them. so why me ? Wats worst, is when ive had an episode i then tend to dwell on it, and expect it to happen the following nite, just purely cos i cant get it out of my head. When it happens its truly auful, cos i cant do anything, as in im helpless and cant move.

My faith is weak atm, but its like everytime i try, something like this hinders me so i end up leaving things and dont bother.

This happening 2 me last nite, I actually made the step and did my first salah today..Ive been thinking on praying for weeks now, but i knew i had to be the one that pushes myself to do it not any1 else and 2day i did. how long it will last i really dont know. Ive slowly removed negativity from my life, and im going to put £100% + effort in2 salah from now on but the thing is i know im going to get recurrance of what happened last nyt. Is this happening cos im looking in2 islam again ? work of satan ? or something else?

 

[cat eyes]

''although i acknowledge that its a sin, to neglect salah, i dont think its right any1 calling some1 else a kuffar ? if a person acknowledges islam, belives in allah but refuses to pray out of laziness..there still muslim..cos tats me.''

nobody here is calling anybody a kafir. okay lets just say if all the scholars had this soft approach.. would anybody even worship our creator? we would not even remember him never mind worship him!

a person might acknowledge islam but where is he getting his imaan from? for a person to achieve imaan they must do acts of worship. each salah that a person misses his heart becomes black.

so id be very interested to know where the person is achieving there imaan from because they are only doing destruction to themselves.

again we are only advising you to marry somebody who will help you with your deen and one whom will increase your imaan.

the last words of our beloved prophet (saw) was to guard the prayer.

i hope inshallah i have not offended you or any other member in this thread. it would just be very sad to see you sister marrying somebody that might never practice at all when there is so many good religious brothers out there.

and i have also agreed that dawah would be good too before marrying somebody but theres no reason for you to take a risk marrying somebody and then giving dawah.. its better to do it before.

all the best inshallah. i hope u listen to my advice.

oh yeah and don't forget to do the istikhara prayer!

 

[dew of paradise]

Confused: My Marriages Failed Despite Istikhara
By Mufti Taqi Usmani
Posted: 23 Rajab 1422, 11 October 2001
Q.) I am extremly perplexed and grieved concerning my present situation and shaytan is also attacking me with various iman endangering thoughts. Please can you answer my following question and put my mind at rest. I married a woman about 3 years ago. I went to see her and everything was done the Islamic way. i.e. I did Mashwera (consultation) and Istikhara (and I saw good dreams and my heart felt content.) But despite the istikhara, etc. Our marriage broke up after just a few weeks of living together, as it transpired that she was mentally unstable. I married again this year, this time I was extra cautious and therefore did Istikhara over a long period and begged Allah to guide me, as a result of which I saw many good dreams. I also had the dreams interpreted by a scholar who gave me the go ahead. After that I did consultation with my superiors and they also gave me the go ahead. But, Again this marriage has broken down in a short span of time.
Why is it that both my marriages have failed (through no fault of mine, I tried my best both times) even though I did Istikhara and Mashwera both times and felt content at heart.
Please reply soon and put my mind at rest, I am losing hope and shaytan is playing with my mind and making me doubt the words of Allah and his Prophet. (naoozobillah) Please reply soon. Jazakallah. A distressed brother in need. [s.m.]
A.) Istikhara is a particular form of prayer and the masnoon way of doing is that a person offers 2 Rakats with the intention of Istikhara then recites the Dua for Istikhara which may be found in all the books of prayer. The other ways of Istikhara which are suggested by some persons are not masnoon. So far as the effect of Istikhara is concerned you must observe the following points:
First of all you must know that Istikhara is nothing more than a normal Dua in which a person prays to Allah Subhanahu Taala to guide him to reach a right decision. It is not correct to presume that in response to an Istikhara Allah gives an answer in the form of a dream. Similarly it is not necessary that a dream is seen after making an Istikhara and even though a dream is seen by the relevant person it is not an absolute answer towards a particular direction because dream is not treated in Shariah as a binding proof of something. The expected result of Istikhara is that the relevant person himself takes a decision which is good for him in this world or in the hereinafter or in both. But just as the grant of other prayers depends on certain conditions the Istikhara is subject to those conditions as well. If some of these conditions are lacking, it is not necessary that this prayer is granted
Second, to make an Istikhara does not mean that a person abandons all other necessary enquiries. A person must carry out all efforts necessary to reach a correct decision even after making Istikhara. If a person is content on Istikhara only and does not make the required efforts to reach the correct decision he may fall into error.
Third, in this particular case the reason for breakup of marriages is not certainly known. It is possible that the marriage failed not because the decision to marry that woman was wrong but because the husband could not properly handle the marriage. In other words it is possible that the decision to marry the woman was correct but the decision to divorce her was wrong.
Fourth, as mentioned in the first point in some rare cases Istikhara does not prove to be fruitful in this world but it is certain to be fruitful in the world hereinafter.
​

 

[qurantour.com]

Marry a pious person

 

[distressed]

''although i acknowledge that its a sin, to neglect salah, i dont think its right any1 calling some1 else a kuffar ? if a person acknowledges islam, belives in allah but refuses to pray out of laziness..there still muslim..cos tats me.''

nobody here is calling anybody a kafir. okay lets just say if all the scholars had this soft approach.. would anybody even worship our creator? we would not even remember him never mind worship him!

Sister I just knew that would come next, wen i mentioned i didnt pray. thats all i ment. when you dont know the significance of it or have strayed its a big change..Ive however made the first steps. Personally, if someone comes out pushing religion in my face, then i aint gona take notice, for me i had to read up, study and learn myself which is what im doing.

a person might acknowledge islam but where is he getting his imaan from? for a person to achieve imaan they must do acts of worship. each salah that a person misses his heart becomes black. so id be very interested to know where the person is achieving there imaan from because they are only doing destruction to themselves.again we are only advising you to marry somebody who will help you with your deen and one whom will increase your imaan.
the last words of our beloved prophet (saw) was to guard the prayer.

where do i get mine from ?? Honestly ? I suppose im a bit of a selfish muslim then, cos i only turn to god when i need him, in times of distress/bereavement. I do believe in our creator, i just didnt realise or fully understand all the other things that go with islam..hence why im learning now.

i hope inshallah i have not offended you or any other member in this thread. it would just be very sad to see you sister marrying somebody that might never practice at all when there is so many good religious brothers out there.

and i have also agreed that dawah would be good too before marrying somebody but theres no reason for you to take a risk marrying somebody and then giving dawah.. its better to do it before.
all the best inshallah. i hope u listen to my advice.

oh yeah and don't forget to do the istikhara prayer!

You havent offended me-advice is appreciated, but i know myself and i knew when i joined up this forum, that i wouldnt just pray cos sum1 told me to..i had to do it myself and i had done last nite.! until a few weeks ago i didnt know wat istikhara was, i did it first time ysday, although i dont know arabic, so i just read it off paper ? is this acceptable? Ive tried listening to it on youtube, and practising, but im finding it extremely difficult..but will perservere. I know i will have done it wrong, last nite, as in not pronounced things properly..im presuming im ok, to continue with this method, till i get fluent in it ?

D

 

[Seek]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I hope Allah will help you and guide you.

I have a proposal for you. Why don't you try and ask them if they are going to pray from time to time? I mean not abandon it completely. Like at least once a week? I know it is wrong. But what is wrong is abandoning it completely.

Try and ask the men you meet. I hope you find the perfect man... Personally, I want to marry a muslimah from UK ... It is a loss that I'm not from there and not in my early 30's.. or I would have proposed to you.

Please try and don't lose faith. Thinking the way you are thinking and putting your religion in front is what Allah loves.. He will reward you.. Be patient.. I know asking you to be patient is out of the question.. But try..

From the depth of my heart, I will make da'wa for you to find a good praying husband.

May Allah help you my dear sister.