Is it a valid ground for rejecting potential Son-in-law ?

[anonymous]

While interviewing a potential suitor for his daughter , if a father see that the Suitor was very nervous but everything else is alright .Does he have a right to reject on basis of the nervousness that he saw ? Is it the right islamic practice to reject on such grounds ?

I read :

When looking for a husband, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, “When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth. ” (Tirmidhi)

 

[M.I.A.]

there is no compulsion in religion.

...if the suiter has a change of character tomorrow, do you have the right to reject him?

feel free to find your own sources.

 

[keiv]

While interviewing a potential suitor for his daughter , if a father see that the Suitor was very nervous but everything else is alright .Does he have a right to reject on basis of the nervousness that he saw ? Is it the right islamic practice to reject on such grounds ?

I read :

When looking for a husband, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, “When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth. ” (Tirmidhi)

Meeting the family of a potential spouse is nerve racking! The man is nervous because he probably wants to make a good impression. Meeting with possible future in laws isn't exactly a walk in the park. I'd be more worried if he wasn't nervous. Even someone who shows confidence has some level of nervousness. They just do a better job of hiding it. I'd personally marry my non existent daughter off to someone who seemed a little nervous vs someone who seemed cocky.

 

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

There is no valid grounds for rejecting the proposal in such a case. If the girl herself wants to marry him, the parents or guardians should not reject a proposal for such an insignificant reason.

والله تعالى أعلم

 

[iServant]

Having visited several potential wives houses when I was younger, let me tell you it is only natural for him to be nervous, especially if he's the shy type.

 

[anonymous]

There is no valid grounds for rejecting the proposal in such a case. If the girl herself wants to marry him, the parents or guardians should not reject a proposal for such an insignificant reason.

والله تعالى أعلم

There is no question of meeting the girl . The man is first interviewed by the Male Guardians who expect full confidence and positive body language and only if he passes the test , they will "shortlist" him to chat with girl. For these bloody judgmental cowards , the first impression is the last impression and they expect perfection in the candidate and they seem like they dont really give importance to character,faith, or even if he has wealth and earns a decent salary.

You mentioned the reason is insignificant. Can you back that up ? Did an incident like this took place in the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) where he spoke out against this practice of rejecting suitors for poor body language.?

 

[islamirama]

What if he is confident and knows how to play his cards right and impresses everyone. But afterwards he turns out to be a player and your worst nightmare?

What if he is confident and passes the tests and everything and is shortlisted to see you but then he is the one that rejects you because you don't meet his criteria?

The reasons for rejecting him based on confidence is superficial and doesn't measure anything. Are they looking for a groom or a business partner?

Abû Hurayrah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If a suitor approaches whose religion and character please you, then let him marry. Otherwise, there will be a lot of immorality and corruption in the world." [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (1084) – authenticated by al-Albânî]