anonymous
Anonymous User
- Messages
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Salaam
As you know i have been experiencing no motivation to study or doing assignments. I have no idea why it always happen to me and literally it is pissing me off. I mean, I have to achieve my uni degree and in some cases i have been loosing motivation to sum it all up. In the first year, i have motivation to do well and instead it was crap. I failed some of the modules and passed some for the first year. The part i failed and it is because i lost motivation. During the second year which is this year at the moment... i wanted to learn my mistakes from first year and there are some exams that i have to retake but i did not turn up. My academic director moved my retake 1st yr exams for the third year. On the first semester on my 2nd year, it was the same thing again, which i failed 2 modules and 1 pass. I wonder what is happening to me and its not like i intend to lose motivation and its more like losing motivation automatically. Right now i am on the 2nd semester, it happened again and i have not checked my results so i am due to take exams next week. And when i could possibly fail the 2nd year, i am more literally screwed because all of those failed modules has to be retaken in the third year to conclude my final year mark.
My father has paid me a lot of money for me to study and he has his own business alhamduillah. I feel i am selfish and guilty of my father about spending a lot of money for my education and sometimes i see myself as a failure for losing motivation. I asked my father about taking over his business without a degree and he said no. I am like, you started it without education and dropped out of school because u did it with experience and talent. I think he dosent want me to walk on his way as before. He wants something new. He disagreed with me and he said I have to get a degree then you can take over. it is the same thing to my younger brothers and sister. I felt ashamed because i am the eldest and my younger siblings have advanced further than me. I am also deaf and i am supposed to represent for the disablity that can prove to hearing people that they can do it the same as them. I do not intend to show off because (May Allah forgive for what i say) that my siblings are more of a westernied way which i would say they are not islamically educated. I gave dawah but i do not know what their hearts say. Allah alim.
I rather say my younger siblings are more motivated than me and i am rather different from them. I do not want to act like a viticm of some dilemma with my family and education because i have to stand up yet it can be tolerated in such way my family think by nulling my talk like "you dont have discipline" what not. It seem that my voice is not raised instead my siblings voice is raised and i rather keep silent. My islamic education is much more motivated and more learning than a degree education because i find it more interesting and i can remember what it actually says wherelse a degree education makes me forget. I was supposed to keep it balanced and islamic education has taken over. Whenever i do such as football, table tennis and many general things, i pushed hard and felt very limited and people are even better than me. It seems that Allah has probably put a limit on my talents. I do not know why. I may have other talents somewhere yet not used and my parents is stopping me with education barrier. I like doing things physically such as talking like polictics, working on my own way, instead of doing for somebody such as taking exams for a teacher to mark. if you know what i mean?
My point is, why i am unmotivated to do my degree and motivated to do other things? I am always being like this and still the same. I really want to achieve my degree inshAllah and it is not just "inshAllah" because i have to do my actions too! Some people has been supportive yet i ignored their requests because i am always like this. What is going on in my brain?? Has this path destined for me?
JazakAllah Khair brothers and sisters.
As you know i have been experiencing no motivation to study or doing assignments. I have no idea why it always happen to me and literally it is pissing me off. I mean, I have to achieve my uni degree and in some cases i have been loosing motivation to sum it all up. In the first year, i have motivation to do well and instead it was crap. I failed some of the modules and passed some for the first year. The part i failed and it is because i lost motivation. During the second year which is this year at the moment... i wanted to learn my mistakes from first year and there are some exams that i have to retake but i did not turn up. My academic director moved my retake 1st yr exams for the third year. On the first semester on my 2nd year, it was the same thing again, which i failed 2 modules and 1 pass. I wonder what is happening to me and its not like i intend to lose motivation and its more like losing motivation automatically. Right now i am on the 2nd semester, it happened again and i have not checked my results so i am due to take exams next week. And when i could possibly fail the 2nd year, i am more literally screwed because all of those failed modules has to be retaken in the third year to conclude my final year mark.
My father has paid me a lot of money for me to study and he has his own business alhamduillah. I feel i am selfish and guilty of my father about spending a lot of money for my education and sometimes i see myself as a failure for losing motivation. I asked my father about taking over his business without a degree and he said no. I am like, you started it without education and dropped out of school because u did it with experience and talent. I think he dosent want me to walk on his way as before. He wants something new. He disagreed with me and he said I have to get a degree then you can take over. it is the same thing to my younger brothers and sister. I felt ashamed because i am the eldest and my younger siblings have advanced further than me. I am also deaf and i am supposed to represent for the disablity that can prove to hearing people that they can do it the same as them. I do not intend to show off because (May Allah forgive for what i say) that my siblings are more of a westernied way which i would say they are not islamically educated. I gave dawah but i do not know what their hearts say. Allah alim.
I rather say my younger siblings are more motivated than me and i am rather different from them. I do not want to act like a viticm of some dilemma with my family and education because i have to stand up yet it can be tolerated in such way my family think by nulling my talk like "you dont have discipline" what not. It seem that my voice is not raised instead my siblings voice is raised and i rather keep silent. My islamic education is much more motivated and more learning than a degree education because i find it more interesting and i can remember what it actually says wherelse a degree education makes me forget. I was supposed to keep it balanced and islamic education has taken over. Whenever i do such as football, table tennis and many general things, i pushed hard and felt very limited and people are even better than me. It seems that Allah has probably put a limit on my talents. I do not know why. I may have other talents somewhere yet not used and my parents is stopping me with education barrier. I like doing things physically such as talking like polictics, working on my own way, instead of doing for somebody such as taking exams for a teacher to mark. if you know what i mean?
My point is, why i am unmotivated to do my degree and motivated to do other things? I am always being like this and still the same. I really want to achieve my degree inshAllah and it is not just "inshAllah" because i have to do my actions too! Some people has been supportive yet i ignored their requests because i am always like this. What is going on in my brain?? Has this path destined for me?
JazakAllah Khair brothers and sisters.
inshAllah.