Would you share some methods? Jazakhallah Khair.
Sure.
Br. X likes Sr. Y. He does some research, likes what he finds and gets her wali's contact and goes and proposes.
Br. X likes Sr. Y. He becomes good friends with the brother of Sr. Y. He lets him know that he likes his sister, and it goes to the parents and they get married.
Br. X likes Sr. Y. He proposes to her (lets her know of his intentions) directly (while observing proper Islamic etiquette) and asks for the contacts of her
wali, which she gives to him. He contacts the
wali and they're married later. If she doesn't, then that means she isn't interested in the proposal.
Sr. Y likes Br. X. She proposes to him directly (while observing proper Islamic etiquette). (I.e. "I am interested in marrying you, here are the contacts to my wali if you're interested.")
Sr. Y likes Br. X. She thinks he might like her too. She goes to her dad to let him know, they contact the brother and a few months later they're married.
Sr. Y likes Br. X. She knows the brother's sister and gets information about him through her. She likes it, and once she knows she has a chance of marrying the brother, she goes to her
wali. They get married later.
As you can probably tell, I'm very much against the desi style of arranged marriages, (at least for the brothers/sisters who've grown up here, I'm sure it works well back home) where the only thing the two see of each other are like 4 or 5 pics, then once more when they meet the family and she brings the chai, where the compatibility is judged by level of education and how they'll look with each other, and what do you know, they're married like a few months later. I personally could never go through that. I'd have to know that I like the sister, that I'm compatible with the sister in the major areas such as deen, understanding of each other's roles, family, children, etc.
^ thats still arranged imho, you know what woulda made it love? if Abdullah just couldnt liev without her and HAD to marry her coz SHE is the one
but Abdullah knew if the parents never agreed its a no-no, therefore arranged.
imho i wudda approached parents before HER wali, its just common courtesy !
It can still be love if Abdullah was seriously in love and couldn't get to be with her. Likewise, it can still be love if he goes to the
wali. I'd go so far as to say that it is genuine feelings for the sister that would make the brother go straight to the parents, I mean after all, the father is the
wali.
Well obviously few would go against the wishes of their parents. I disagree at the 'what would have made it love' part though. Even pursuading his parents would have meant that she was worth it...
But anyway, I'm going off on one
WassalamuAlaykum
I agree :thumbs_up
