is it wrong to marry someone from another race

[islamluv]

brothers and sisters

i have a friend of mine who wants to merry a good muslim brother who practice the deen and has good manners and everything she took him to her family and Alhamdulillah her mother is a very understanding person and everybody of approve of the brother except for her father who don't even want to give the guy a chance to meet him.. the father is the judgeing the guy just beaucse of his race... and he also said to his daugher that she is alone allowe to bring people of thier own country.... Is it fair that she should be limit to that... also what should she do while she does not want to disobey her father yet she does not want to merry someone else just to please her father plz help imsad

 

[buddy1]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

personally, i can understand, im english, non muslim and my ex husband is malay and muslim, his father couldnt stand the sight of me, he detested everything about our relationship. but when we had our first children (twins) his dad became a different person, he loved the fact he had grandchildren and the fact we had a boy and girl meant he had a "grampys little girl" and a man to continue the family name. I know there are different rules and obligations, but as far as im concerned surely if you can proove your love for someone is strong enough to fight off any bad feelings about it, surely its got to be worth it!

 

[Rabi'ya]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race



Islamically there is nothing wrong with it.It is merely peoples phobias and misconceptions which lead them to believe mixed race marriages are wrong or wont work.

Surah 49 Ayah13

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).

 

[catalzzy]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

really... all different races are not supposed to be racist to each other. they are all equal but then, its the future whereelse people tend to be much more ignorant.

would it make a difference if marrying your own race rather than other race?

i dont think so..

 

[buddy1]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

i agree, my marraige was strong for a long time he strayed and now we are separated but that wasnt down to his race or mine, it was down to him and his thoughts. what you must think is "we are all exactly the same when your together in a dark room!" no one can see you, but when people judge on these sort of things they are judging on the way that person looks and lives not by they type of person they could be.

 

[AlHoda]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race


I don't think there's anything wrong to maary someone from another race, although it may bring some culture differences, no one said it is wrong. Also my dear sister, i'm just curious to know what race he is?

May Allah (swt) guide us all.

:wa:

 

[islamluv]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

I don't think there's anything wrong to maary someone from another race, although it may bring some culture differences, no one said it is wrong. Also my dear sister, i'm just curious to know what race he is?

May Allah (swt) guide us all.

:wa:

the guy is white and the girl is black...
what should she do now cuz her father is still not understanding Islam is beyond the skin color of a person

 

[Humbler_359]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race



Well, according to the history, White and Black have some history due to racisms and slaves. Still today, it exists. Not easy.

"would it make a difference if marrying your own race rather than other race?"

Yes, it is big differences and depending. Marrying same race is much easier than new race entering your world, you have to take alot of responsible and explanation in order to avoid serious misconception, misunderstanding and mistrust.

Between family and family-in-laws don't get along well for long times, it is not even worthy of your times and marriages.

Honestly, it is painful. I have seen it due to many separation afterwards. :hmm:

 

[Rafeeq]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

Although it is not wrong marrying in other race. But her father has seen the world and is aware there could be a perception of problems. I am sorry to say but when we are in love, we are blind to see the realities of the world which comes to our sight later and we condemn ourselves. It is better to obey parents as they understand many things which we may not.
(it is my opinion, other may disagree. I am ready to accept any dis agreement, LOL)

 

[catalzzy]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

Well, according to the history, White and Black have some history due to racisms and slaves. Still today, it exists. Not easy.

"would it make a difference if marrying your own race rather than other race?"

Yes, it is big differences and depending. Marrying same race is much easier than new race entering your world, you have to take alot of responsible and explanation in order to avoid serious misconception, misunderstanding and mistrust.

Between family and family-in-laws don't get along well for long times, it is not even worthy of your times and marriages.

But the thing is, in the people's mind, even tho they have read this verse " Surah 49 Ayah13

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)."

They seem to be forgetting this part, as Islam dissallows racism. so, i think its the way they look at each other and complaining that my colour is superior to yours or the other way round. so marriage + racism = controversy and conflict.
Marriage + Islam = Peace and no racism. .

All muslims in different races are the same because we follow the Qur'an and the Sunnah which ideally are equal.

You know, racism is a sin. :S.

 

[cat eyes]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

well what can i say....we are living in different times but the elderz would naturally still have insecurities of the past. Her father is afraid that he might not do justice with her because of the fact she is black and he is white. But look she has to sit down with her father and explain to him the punishments of suspicion thinking and hatred and judging others! Whatever happened in the past with the black people! Two wrongs do not make a right!

 

[muslimah_81]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

Honestly, it is painful. I have seen it due to many separation afterwards. :hmm:

Brother this may be the case but I have seen a lot of mixed marriages work out. I have seen people start practising their religion more after marrying reverts to islam.

Although it is not wrong marrying in other race. But her father has seen the world and is aware there could be a perception of problems. I am sorry to say but when we are in love, we are blind to see the realities of the world which comes to our sight later and we condemn ourselves. It is better to obey parents as they understand many things which we may not.

Im sorry brother I have to disagree with you there. I do believe that parents want the best for you but I dont agree that they always know whats right. In the case of marriage sometimes culture and pride comes in the way too.

The prophet peace be upon him said

"A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character). So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper". (Bukhari)

I dont believe you should/should not marry because of race or cast.
From what I have seen reverts to islam practice their religion much more then people who are born into islam (Im not saying this is the case with everyone but judging from what I have seen)

I can understand when some people say that there can be a clash between cultures but I personally dont give much importance to culture and give more importance to religion. And if you have a practising muslim as a partner then I dont think you can go wrong :statisfie

 

[kidcanman]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

islamluv you wrote "she took him to her family" which implies that they got together in a non-islamic way. there in lies the problem. it seems that the guy is not so good a muslim after all

 

[Abdul Qadir]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

Its obligatory to follow her father's instructions....if he says no to a certain race, she has to obey...no choice...unless he says she must marry a non-muslim or something which is against the religion of Allah, then she has every right to disobey that instruction, but do so politely...

 

[muslimah_81]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

Its obligatory to follow her father's instructions....if he says no to a certain race, she has to obey...no choice...unless he says she must marry a non-muslim or something which is against the religion of Allah, then she has every right to disobey that instruction, but do so politely...

Yes she has to obey her parents but maybe she can try educating her father on the fact that there is no discrimination in Islam. And if she is patient he might just come round to the idea InshaAllah.

 

[cat eyes]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

islamluv you wrote "she took him to her family" which implies that they got together in a non-islamic way. there in lies the problem. it seems that the guy is not so good a muslim after all

Dear brother that dose not mean 2say he laid a finger on her dose it? It could be that it was not possible for him to find her home without her help? Let Allah judge his intentions. We are nobody to judge! Nobody is perfect people make mistakes and do things wröng its not for us to say that the brother is not good!

 

[kidcanman]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

why would the girl love him and want to marry him if they had no prior relationship.

the real problem is that the girl is in love with a guy that her father does not know.

i dont see why the father has any reason to approve of this stranger "relating" with his daughter.

and also i dont see how, from a halal standpoint, this "good muslim" was able to make a stranger's daughter fall in love with him.

it would seem that race plays a small role in the fathers chagrin.

 

[muslimah_81]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race



This girl may be in love with this guy but how do you know that they did not meet in an islamic way? How do you know that there was not a mehram present when they met and got to know each other?

the real problem is that the girl is in love with a guy that her father does not know.

it would seem that race plays a small role in the fathers chagrin.

I dont see how this can be the case as this is what the OP posted.

and he also said to his daugher that she is alone allowe to bring people of thier own country....

Her father is clearly giving her permission to bring a guy that is the same race as her!!

 

[Asiyah3]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

brothers and sisters

i have a friend of mine who wants to merry a good muslim brother who practice the deen and has good manners and everything she took him to her family and Alhamdulillah her mother is a very understanding person and everybody of approve of the brother except for her father who don't even want to give the guy a chance to meet him.. the father is the judgeing the guy just beaucse of his race... and he also said to his daugher that she is alone allowe to bring people of thier own country.... Is it fair that she should be limit to that... also what should she do while she does not want to disobey her father yet she does not want to merry someone else just to please her father plz help imsad

If that were my case, I would personally try to find out what's the deep reason for my father's objection. If it were because of race, I wouldn't obey him. I don't mean that I would disobey him or something, rather I'd be patient, ask Allah's help and try to discuss with my father. I think, the father might have another reason for objection and might say race just as an excuse - anyway, I don't know the father so the daughter/family knows better than me).
Then again if my father's had a righteos reason for objection, then insha'lLah I would obey him even if I disagreed. (Oh, and I'm saying now what I think I'd do but being in that situation I might do things differently- Allah knows best. )

And just like someone before said, she should still be kind and polite to her father and if the reason for the fathers objection really is unrighteos, perhaps try to ask her mothers/brothers help to convince the father( or an local imaams help).

Here's an hadeeth:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O you who believe, verily your Lord is One, and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Have I conveyed (the message)?” They said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has conveyed (the message).”

(Narrated by Ahmad, 5/411; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 313; it was also narrated from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah that its isnaad is saheeh, in al-Iqtidaa’, 69).

 

[kidcanman]

Re: is it wrong to merry someone from another race

the OPster wrote that the girl "took him to her family". and a mahram is a member of the family. and so she "fell in love" with a stranger, and then afterwords she took him to her family. the guy didnt do the right thing and she expects her dad to want to meet him? absurdity. the boy's behavior is unacceptable. the race issue only makes it worse.