is my marriage valid??

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:sl:

This is just sad. I am from pakistan, but alhamdulilah where I live this is a very rare thing to occur. Mostly, its the women that do that, sadly. Anyway, seems like your marriage isn't valid and yes you should apply for a divorce because you are being abused and he is not even considering any feelings nor his obiligations. Your parents are too arrogant with their "family status" stuff, very wrong. In this case sis, you are not doing something that you might regret because it is you who will be spending your life, not your parents. They have no right to do such a thing to you in the first place!! Islamically this is wrong, and you should get out of it while you can! And inshallah you will find someone else :)!! when there is will, there is a way. Have faith in Allah swt, don't ever give up. You deserve to be with someone awesome!! inshallah!!

If i may ask, who was this potential someone that your parents ignored while you were studying sis? Was he a convert to islam or not pakistani at all?
 
so what is guessed was right :).

go and get the divorce, believe me you will be a happy person, dont worry about the family, it is only for a few months and then they are back to square one.
 
markislam said:
so what is guessed was right :).

go and get the divorce, believe me you will be a happy person, dont worry about the family, it is only for a few months and then they are back to square one.
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but how do i go about it?? u might be wondering why im asking this- it might be as simple as eating or sleeping to some people but i dont know how to get the ball rolling
 
If i may ask, who was this potential someone that your parents ignored while you were studying sis? Was he a convert to islam or not pakistani at all?[/QUOTE]

I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and if something wasnt meant to be then i shouldnt dwell upon it but in answer he was pakistani but didnt fit my families strict check list criteria of being from a certain family, a certain place, a certain eye colour etc etc which in reality narrows me down to about 2 people in the entire univerise! ;D

As for me trying to get know him then at first yes i did attempt to speak to him to get to know him but his manner with me was far from polite. Although we dont speak at the moment i have attempted to make amends on several occasions but dont seem to get any sort of response...yet i do try my best to treat him well but providing food and cleaning up etc not because i feel i have to as a wife but just to be civil. Yet all my efforts are not aknowledged.

Allah knows best
 
Wow...this is just surprising to me. I know it occurs in pakistan..but u.k?

Anywho, inshallah i'll keep you in my dua! Do you know any close friend of yours? Telling your husband or your parents for a divorce might be dangerous for you. You should get a close friend to help you with this process. That is the best way to start.
 
anonymous said:
but how do i go about it?? u might be wondering why im asking this- it might be as simple as eating or sleeping to some people but i dont know how to get the ball rolling
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for everything you need to take a step that is where you need courage. to get the ball rolling you need to nudge the ball a little same as in our case.

first file for divorce, talk to your friends and iam sure they will support you.

go and do it don't wait.

Insha Allah everything will be fine :nervous:
 
dont fall in to the emotions trap of what your parents will think what your friends will think. they will think for some days and they will forget it. believe me.
 
I know a similar case that happened to my friends cousins, she was forced to marry a muslim guy from india, after marriage he came to US and found out that he was immature and could not even keep his job for a month.

the result the girl divorced him.

there is only one life here on this earth and don't live your life a miserable one.
 
Thank you- i think i shall have to bite the bullet and go ahead and get the issue sorted out...but it has to wait til after Ramadhan, i dont want to spoil it for myself and for others around me...and YES it does happen in the UK lol who do u think is doing all these things?? if only changing countries would automatically tranform the mind too..if only!
 
Sis salaams first ,

http://answering-christianity.com/cant_force_marriage.htm

here is a link that clearly explains that forcing a marriage is wrong.So u need not fear going against your parents.Allah would understand.


Can the woman divorce herself from a forced marriage upon her?

As we've seen above, it is clearly forbidden in Islam to force women into marriage. But in case this ever should happen or have happened already to any woman, then Islam allows for her to divorce herself from the man she was forced to marry. Let us read the following:

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2091)"

The choice that our beloved Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him gave to the woman is she can either remain married to the man, or divorce herself from him.
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