Is there anything good about being single?

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Najm said:
Excellent post!! It made some sense, and i like it.....Love every stage!! So would you like to tell me some pros and cons???
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The main advantage of being single is that you come first. Whether it's how to spend your time, money, chocolate, whatever. You do what's best for you. When you get married you have to take into consideration a whole other person, may sometimes have to force yourself to do things you wouldn't like otherwise.. And it all comes down to this one point, I think, having to "share" a life rather than have one on your own.

The main disadvantage of being single, is that it can get lonely at times. Yes, you've got friends and family and all those, but sometimes it isn't enough. Especially if you're in a society where everyone is with someone, and it's just you that's alone, it can be difficult. It's wanting to experience everything that goes on in your life with someone who always is and will be by your side, but not being able to.
 
crayon said:
Both being single and being married have advantages and disadvantages.
The only way we can be truly happy is to love the stage of life we're currently experiencing.
You spend your single life wishing you were married, then when you get married, when the first couple of lovey dovey months are over, you start missing being single and independent.

Each part of your life is different, has different pleasures, different responsibilities, different disadvantages. But we have to live through every single one of those stages. If we're constantly rushing ahead to the next stage, or longing for the previous stage, you can never fully experience and live the stage you're currently at.

When you're a kid, enjoy being a kid, and live that stage of your life.
When you're an adult, enjoy being an adult, and live that stage of your life.

When you don't have a job, not having one, and live that stage of your life.
When you have a job, enjoy having one, and live that stage of your life.

When you're single, enjoy being single, and live that stage of your life.
When you're married, enjoy being married, and live that stage of your life.

The same reasoning can be applied to every single aspect of life. One stage isn't better or worse than the other, it's simply different.
I hope my ramblings made some sense to someone other than me..
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very true....
Subhan Allah that just remind me the verse in Surat Al Anbiyaa
Man is made of haste

human nature like rush everything...:rollseyes
 
crayon said:
The main advantage of being single is that you come first. Whether it's how to spend your time, money, chocolate, whatever. You do what's best for you. When you get married you have to take into consideration a whole other person, may sometimes have to force yourself to do things you wouldn't like otherwise.. And it all comes down to this one point, I think, having to "share" a life rather than have one on your own.

The main disadvantage of being single, is that it can get lonely at times. Yes, you've got friends and family and all those, but sometimes it isn't enough. Especially if you're in a society where everyone is with someone, and it's just you that's alone, it can be difficult. It's wanting to experience everything that goes on in your life with someone who always is and will be by your side, but not being able to.
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lol. i need to find a hiding space
 
sevgi said:
Yes he was. As is Fethullah Gulen Hodja.

They are men who have devoted their lives to dawah though. Marriage would just be a constraint and tie them to this world rather than the hereafter.
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It seems that until you find the right person, you wouldn't necessarily have to think of or treat yourself as "single" (or...someone who's sloppy or can do whatever they'd like, as opposed to a "responsible" person); you could think of yourself, and act, as someone who is preparing themselves, above anything else, for the hereafter. That way, if you're not meant to be with anyone, you won't have wasted a lot of your life energy anticipating something that was never going to happen. And if you do get married someday, you'll probably have developed more internal resources with which to handle being a spouse. It seems that focusing as much as possible on your spiritual, rather than your love, life would ultimately be what is most rewarding.

That's just my opinion, though...I've had bad experiences with guys. imsad (Actually, with people in general...but that's a different story.) And I often take my unopposed messiness for granted.
 
aminahjaan said:
You can talk to yourself and sing without embarrassing yourself.
And eat like a wolverine
And you won't be self conscious the whole day
And you can make weird faces at yourself when you see a reflection haha
not that...I do that...
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you can totally do all of those things :p
 
hmm a lot of people seem to be under the impression that you cant be "yourself" anymore after marriage.


lol all im saying is im gnna say/act be the exact way i am after marriage, i know that for a fact. and hey i'll show it before marriage just so she can be ready, if she cant take/accept/like it thats her, and she/he aint for you.


marriage aint no ball n chain, its jus a whole loada gain :) if u do it for the right reasons
 
My friend's uncles married with 2 kids and he's still as immature as ever. Thing is with girlies it ain't the same. Rah. I'll see if I can break with tradition and carry on being annoying..sheesh, I sound evil.
 
Musaafir said:
My friend's uncles married with 2 kids and he's still as immature as ever. Thing is with girlies it ain't the same. Rah. I'll see if I can break with tradition and carry on being annoying..sheesh, I sound evil.
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define immature?
 
crayon said:
The main disadvantage of being single, is that it can get lonely at times. Yes, you've got friends and family and all those, but sometimes it isn't enough. Especially if you're in a society where everyone is with someone, and it's just you that's alone, it can be difficult. It's wanting to experience everything that goes on in your life with someone who always is and will be by your side, but not being able to.
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Exactly..humans by nature are social creatures..so marriage and desire to have a companion is only natural and normal.
 
muslim sister) said:
Same here,maybe after marriage I will miss my singe days but for now I wish I would miss my single days
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To be honest i personally think that 'its what you want to make of your marriage'. one day ill get married too inshallah.but for now i take everyday as it comes.
 
:wasalamex
Najm said:
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Sometimes the right person, may have the wrong families, i.e. like the spouses are cool with each other but parents are not or in the parents eyes theres always someone better :blind:etc...thats a different topic, lol i think im so against parents thinking they are right, maybe another thread? :-[ But no, i woundnt waste time at all :)
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i think at the end of the day, if the couple are happy with one another and strive together to please Allah, then that is all sufficient. i dont know what you exactly you mean by there is always some better, but again, if you and your spouse are happy with one another, then why worry what others have to say. i mean if your family really didnt like them, then you wouldnt have married them, right?



Faizah said:
I really don't see why you can't read even more than 1 juz a day when you're married. If people blame this on marriage, they're really just looking for excuses. I think we should start to wonder what's wrong with our marriages, if we are distracting each other to the extent that we don't even have time to read the book of Allaah. Just my two cents.
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Jawharah said:
:sl:
It's not really an excuse about the 1 juzz thing. I think when you have kids, and they're always up to something mashaAllah, it becomes harder to concentrate on reading Quraan... It's not impossible if you make the extra effort, but this thread is about the joy of being single, and from that joy is being able to read Quran without any other thoughts about that your husband will be home in a couple hours and what is left to clean up / heat the food, and keep your kid(s) out of harming themselves, etc.
Although once the kids grow up, and the routines become better, it does become a lot easier...
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agreed with both of them :)


Peace....
Good point, about freedom and enjoyment. :D But i dont see how marriage can restict someone sooooo much. People have responsibility when they are single too, yes its a different kind but nevertheless. I am sure you can enjoy with your spouse too, if you get the right one. How much freedom does one want?
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i know this isnt aimed at me, but Agreed. Surely the advantages of being single are directed in other ways when your’re married.
And hey, at the end of the day marriage is give and take no? sure you’re married and all, but it doesn’t mean you have to be around each other 24/7! I mean you can still see your friends, and do what you want when they’re not around or something, eg if hubbis/wifey arent around... sure not as much, but I guess in other ways this stuff can be replaced with something else. i would think its about adjusting, and setting your priorities, innit
So, each have their pros/cons. If being single means seeing friends more often, then being married means hugging your kid. What more could you want? What the heck, I wouldn’t replace my shaheed to be kid for no one!

And if being single means being independent, then being married, means you have something to share with someone and making your fellow Muslim happy! And what better than to make your spouse happy! ok i sound as cheesy as cheese cake :hmm:...and you know what, you are responsible when your're single as well, again, in different ways...

So, in ways where you have an advantage in being single, then you have another advantage in being married, only in a different way. And the same for the negative. The way you have a disadvantage in being single, then you have a disadvantage in being married, only in a different way too. you just have to take the good with the bad.


Interesting post, i just dont understand, as a single person you cant clean your own room. I dont see why you should be messy in the first place. Please do clean the room.

And when you do get married, i dont expect you spouse to clean after your droppings ( no pun intended) :D
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this isnt intended at anyone in this thread, but I hear this stuff so many times, and I just cant sink my teeth into it. i mean how can you live in your own filth? what is so hard about cleaning up after your self? ^o)

So is there anything really good about being single?
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you see your family all the time...which your probably not going to when you get married. well, if your a sister anyway...
as far as i can think, thats the only thing that i'll miss...
 
Fighting4Iman said:
define immature?
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Making silly faces, and sounds, and saying funny things,

fightiing over who gets the sweets,

I do all these with my nieces and that, i aint going to change either,
marriage has to be fun,

I so know my mum is gonna tell me to behave infront of my future wifey , inshallah.

im a big kid at heart.
 
Hussain said:
To be honest i personally think that 'its what you want to make of your marriage'.
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Well,actually you are wrong,how can u say that?nobody would like to make their marriage miserable that they will miss their singe days.it is whether u want or not sometimes after being married u will miss your early state,it doesn't mean if u miss your single days,that u r fed up with marriage,it is silly that u think I want to make my marriage like that ^o)
 
nightstar said:
Making silly faces, and sounds, and saying funny things,

fightiing over who gets the sweets,

I do all these with my nieces and that, i aint going to change either,
marriage has to be fun,

I so know my mum is gonna tell me to behave infront of my future wifey , inshallah.

im a big kid at heart.
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everything you described there isnt immature at all, its silly sweet :p

immature is a lack of understanding, not being "grown up", not being able to cope IMHO, lashing out and acting unco-operative, all that is immature !
 
Abu Sayyad said:
:sl:

Quite in tune with this topic, I was listening to a lecture and was reminded about this thread whilst listening. The talk is called 'Boys and Girls' by Abu Eesa. It can be found here:

http://www.propheticguidance.co.uk/html/abu_eesa_audio.asp

Very good talk :thumbs_up:thumbs_up
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Wa alaykum asalam

Jazak Allah khair for sharing, very nice talk.
Missed some of the end though, my mom accidentally closed the window it had loaded in...:mmokay:
 
Depends on the person and prior experience. Some people can't stand being single, some can't stand not being single, some are no longer single, but want to get back, some are single again, but hate it, some are not single anymopre and love it and some broke up with their spouse and are having the time of their lives.
 
Fighting4Iman said:
but pleasure derived from sin only brings emptiness
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Hold on, I wasnt talking about sex :D

I mean that being in relationship is big responsibility, you must take care of your partner, consider her feelings and wishes. Now you are not alone, so your freedom is limited. You cant watch Champions League always, you cant play football with friends at any time, you cant surf net at any time. Thats why I treat it natural, I dont look for anyone, I count that I will meet the second half just like that, by predistination.
 

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