is there something wrong with me or the people around me?

[fakerameen]

assalam alaikum.

now first let me tell you i am sooooo proud to be a muslim and i am a girl and i have no problem with that!


my question might have a really obvious and easy answer but i need help. before u ask me to ask my parents please note i already did and
my mom, who's never interested, replied:start dressing and acting like a girl.


now i normaly dress up something like this: i never wear skinny jeans
or tight shirts, i wear jeans but the straight ones and i wear kind of loose plain shirts( not thaaaaaaat loose) because you're not allowed to wear tight clothes
in islam right? and since i live in the uk, it isn't much warm here and so i always wear a cap and then a hoodie to cover my hair. all which is so comfortable


i had decided to start wearing hijab some months ago but my mom wont allow me because even though there are so many muslims in england, i live in a small town( sorry i cant be very specifc) where
there
are only, i mean i've literally known like one other muslim family other than me and in a nearby town, after that paris attacks and stuff there were some arrests of some muslim women who really turned out to be terrorists and two girls were shot i guess just because they wore hijab. i still tried to convince my mom and argue with her but then she contacted some imams who recommended i should wait for some time. just to make sure i still asked this question on different websites and other muslims recommended i should wait. so first please help me out in this.


because if, IF, i wore hijab my life would have been alot easier........i mean because of the way i dress up everyone addresses me as a tomboy and when i meet new people, they, after months, realise i'm a girl....especailly at school. people are like what? he's a girl? i thought everyone called her "her" she because he's that justin beiber type...( i'm not depressed or crying because of it please ) i mean i have absolutely no interest in being a tomboy...i am ok being a girl but i dont know whats wrong with people


now in addition to my dress up, i do not wear make up, gossip and i'm known for basketball at my school and i have only 2 close friends that are girls, the rest of em...all boys( i know my limits) bcz all the other girls talk about is shopping and boys and crushes and whos going out with who and would would start crying if she gets a slight scratch on her skin( i hate all this so much)..


and i've never had a crush on any guy, neither have i ever thought of being with anyone THAT way and
i serioulsy dont understand whats so fun and interesting in sharing stuff like your food or bed or getting someone's siliva in your mouth or WWHY DO EVEN PEOPLE faaaallll in love THAT way.i mean like aren't your parents and siblings and allah and prophets and friends enough? i dont know if i'll change my mind when i grow up but theres no way in hell i'm changing my mind about that stuff for now! ps: i am 14 years old


now my qustion is: is what i'm doing haram? i mean am i really a tomboy? should i start acting "like a girl" and if thats what u recommend then what kind. like is it allowed to wear printed or bright colours for girls in islam......i seriously have no idea what other muslim girls do.....

 

[strivingobserver98]

:threadapp

 

[greenhill]

Salaam rameen,

I have a daughter exactly your age. I can tell you it is far different raising kids now to when i was a kid. The real difference is the available knowledge and access to it. While the younger generation may be more knowledgable now, it is not matched by the wisdom gained through the years.

If we look at the stories of the prophets, they all only became prophets after they reached maturity giving them wisdom.

At 14, there is a long way to go. I'd say, keep your deen close to you and use it as a guide, concentrate on learning and take care of the 'aurah' as you have done.

You are at the age of discovery. These are formative years and what you are today is not what you are going to be in the future but will help shape who you become.

Remember, what you feel today will change (including the mixing of saliva etc) but, the time is not yet... may you be guided once the hormones and emotions change in time.. or someone comes along and grabs your attention...


eace:

 

[azc]

If imams also advise to wait for hijab because of prevalent circumstances, then do as they say But stop free mixing with opposite gender. Take care of your dress. Try to become a better Muslimah. You'll be a different person after 3 ears to what your today.

 

[fakerameen]

.. or someone comes along and grabs your attention...

all the other stuff was ok but. this. part ............:facepalm:+o(

 

[greenhill]

Remember, Allah didn't put you on earth to be single.... for a time, yes.... let's that when the time comes, you will find a good partner..

Ps. I wrote that last bit as you quoted just to give you a prod.

eace:

 

[crookedrib]

assalam alaikum.

now in addition to my dress up, i do not wear make up, gossip and i'm known for basketball at my school and i have only 2 close friends that are girls, the rest of em...all boys( i know my limits) bcz all the other girls talk about is shopping and boys and crushes and whos going out with who and would would start crying if she gets a slight scratch on her skin( i hate all this so much)..


and i've never had a crush on any guy, neither have i ever thought of being with anyone THAT way and
i serioulsy dont understand whats so fun and interesting in sharing stuff like your food or bed or getting someone's siliva in your mouth or WWHY DO EVEN PEOPLE faaaallll in love THAT way.i mean like aren't your parents and siblings and allah and prophets and friends enough? i dont know if i'll change my mind when i grow up but theres no way in hell i'm changing my mind about that stuff for now! ps: i am 14 years old


now my qustion is: is what i'm doing haram? i mean am i really a tomboy? should i start acting "like a girl" and if thats what u recommend then what kind. like is it allowed to wear printed or bright colours for girls in islam......i seriously have no idea what other muslim girls do.....

Wa alaykum assalaam,

Lol, i used to be a lot like you when i was your age. I found all that girl talk about crushes disgusting. Literally every single girl aside from me and my best friend had a crush on a guy (mind you this was an islamic school). But then things changed the year i left school.

Sis, even though you dont think of guys in a different way right now, your feelings are bound to change sooner or later (at least i hope). So you should keep your distance in shaa Allah and avoid freemixing.

Since your situation is different and others are recommending you delay wearing the hijaab, i suggest you ask a scholar just in case. May Allah ease your difficulties and make it possible for you to ear the hijaab soon. As comfortable as it feels wearing "boyish" clothes, Allah tells us not to imitate the opposite sex. So for now, yes wear loose clothing but make sure you don't resemble men (its not ok to be mistaken for one lol). Its actually not allowed to wear bright colours for women because it attracts attention so dark neutral colours are the best way to go in shaa Allah.















.

 

[fakerameen]

thank you all so much.

ms.crookdrib thanks for being the first one on earth to tell me i'm not the only one........because everyone at my school is like are you human?

and mr.greenhill thanks(i still didnt change my my mind though, and i'm praying i meet that someone like 100 years from now:hmm and i hope your daughter realises how lucky she is to have you.......for the FIRST( bcz i usually count my blessings) time i wish i had a dad too

 

[crookedrib]

thank you all so much.

ms.crookdrib thanks for being the first one on earth to tell me i'm not the only one........because everyone at my school is like are you human?

and mr.greenhill thanks(i still didnt change my my mind though, and i'm praying i meet that someone like 100 years from now:hmm and i hope your daughter realises how lucky she is to have you.......for the FIRST( bcz i usually count my blessings) time i wish i had a dad too

You're definitely not the only one. I blame western fashion, believe me i know how hard it can be for a muslim girl to find appropriate clothes especially here in the summer. Also i blame my mom for dressing me as a boy when i was a kid lol.

You will change your mind soon in shaa Allah . Im sorry to hear that sis, Im sure it must be hard for you. Wallah if you need anyone to talk to id be more than happy to.

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Do you pray all of your daily prayers?

When I wore hijab, I was the only one in my high school and I was also the first one to wear it in my immediate family. I also came from a small town, so the only other people that were wearing hijab at the time were a couple of aunts of mine.

I would love to tell you to just put on the hijaab, but in the case where you are in a city where you can be targeted or harmed or even ridiculed, I encourage you first to raise your iman and to truly understand the meaning of hijab, because when you can understand it and love Allah more than you love yourself and more than you fear society, then you will wear it correctly (ie. NOT with jeans and a shirt, but with full abaya) and you will never take it off. The reason I say this is because 1) You will be the first example of a muslimah someone may see in a town where there aren't many muslims. 2) you have to be prepared to answer questions about people's curiosity, 3) you have to be mentally strong enough to face any type of difficulties (such as people making fun of you or harassing you) so that you can continue to wear it without feeling as if it's a burden or taking it off due to the pressures of society.

When I wore the hijaab I was at the age where I was getting a lot of proposals (but I wasn't really interested), and it would have been really easy for me to feel like I had to impress a guy with my beauty, but those were not the type of guys I wanted to be married to. I wanted someone who loved Allah more than anything and who lowered his gaze. I also was studying a lot about Islam and no one was really encouraging towards me wearing the hijab because they feared for my safety, but something clicked in my head one day where I thought, hey if anything ever happens to me, this is the way I want to leave the world...I want to be covered up. I had friends at school and the year i started wearing it so many students would ask me about the hijab and my friends actually had so much more respect for me. Teachers would even let me talk to the class about islam. This never happened before I wore the hijab even though I was open about being a Muslim. So my point is... you can wear the hijab now, no one will really stop you if you REALLY want to do it, but if you do it, do it for the right reasons because it's like you're wearing a uniform that says you're Allah's servant, so you should act and dress accordingly and be prepared to have days where your iman is low where you might feel like you want to give up, and THAT'S OK, but don't give up on yourself and always make du'a that Allah will make you stronger. In the meantime, make sure you pray all of your prayers because that is more important and will help increase your iman when you have a better connection with Allah. The fact that you are asking about whether or not you should wear hijab means that you are thinking about it back and forth in your head, but you know ultimately it's your choice. May Allah Guide you inshallah.

 

[fakerameen]

You're definitely not the only one. I blame western fashion, believe me i know how hard it can be for a muslim girl to find appropriate clothes especially here in the summer. Also i blame my mom for dressing me as a boy when i was a kid lol.

You will change your mind soon in shaa Allah . Im sorry to hear that sis, Im sure it must be hard for you. Wallah if you need anyone to talk to id be more than happy to.

have you changed your mind about that stuff now? if so what age in? and i yeah i really do need someone to talk to, because i dont have any other muslim girl around.....just wait until i'm a full member and then u'll regret having said that:Emoji61:

 

[fakerameen]

Assalamu Alaikum

Do you pray all of your daily prayers?

When I wore hijab, I was the only one in my high school and I was also the first one to wear it in my immediate family. I also came from a small town, so the only other people that were wearing hijab at the time were a couple of aunts of mine.

I would love to tell you to just put on the hijaab, but in the case where you are in a city where you can be targeted or harmed or even ridiculed, I encourage you first to raise your iman and to truly understand the meaning of hijab, because when you can understand it and love Allah more than you love yourself and more than you fear society, then you will wear it correctly (ie. NOT with jeans and a shirt, but with full abaya) and you will never take it off. The reason I say this is because 1) You will be the first example of a muslimah someone may see in a town where there aren't many muslims. 2) you have to be prepared to answer questions about people's curiosity, 3) you have to be mentally strong enough to face any type of difficulties (such as people making fun of you or harassing you) so that you can continue to wear it without feeling as if it's a burden or taking it off due to the pressures of society.

When I wore the hijaab I was at the age where I was getting a lot of proposals (but I wasn't really interested), and it would have been really easy for me to feel like I had to impress a guy with my beauty, but those were not the type of guys I wanted to be married to. I wanted someone who loved Allah more than anything and who lowered his gaze. I also was studying a lot about Islam and no one was really encouraging towards me wearing the hijab because they feared for my safety, but something clicked in my head one day where I thought, hey if anything ever happens to me, this is the way I want to leave the world...I want to be covered up. I had friends at school and the year i started wearing it so many students would ask me about the hijab and my friends actually had so much more respect for me. Teachers would even let me talk to the class about islam. This never happened before I wore the hijab even though I was open about being a Muslim. So my point is... you can wear the hijab now, no one will really stop you if you REALLY want to do it, but if you do it, do it for the right reasons because it's like you're wearing a uniform that says you're Allah's servant, so you should act and dress accordingly and be prepared to have days where your iman is low where you might feel like you want to give up, and THAT'S OK, but don't give up on yourself and always make du'a that Allah will make you stronger. In the meantime, make sure you pray all of your prayers because that is more important and will help increase your iman when you have a better connection with Allah. The fact that you are asking about whether or not you should wear hijab means that you are thinking about it back and forth in your head, but you know ultimately it's your choice. May Allah Guide you inshallah.

yeah i do pray my daily prayers and i've recently started doing tahajjud prayers too( only on weekends to be honest) and to be honest i dont know if there is any other meaning of wearing hijab to me other than its what all good muslim girls do, following Allah's command. and i'm still you could say trying to be a better muslim. as for me loving ALLAH more than myself...trust me i even love food more than i love myself, ALLAH is something sooooooooooooooo much more important.