Is what iam doing against islam?

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04/11/2009

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I've been looking for a husband on my own for quite sometime, i did express to my mother that i wanted to get married but she laughed it off and won't help me. I feel so guilty talking to men online by myself, but my intention is always marriage and if the conversation turns into anything else other then marriage then i always stop communicating with the person, immediately. I have no one else in the world to help me do this, even though i have a family but feels i don't have one. I want to know is this haram?, should i just completely stop looking for myself?
 
04/11/2009 said:
I've been looking for a husband on my own for quite sometime, i did express to my mother that i wanted to get married but she laughed it off and won't help me. I feel so guilty talking to men online by myself, but my intention is always marriage and if the conversation turns into anything else other then marriage then i always stop communicating with the person, immediately. I have no one else in the world to help me do this, even though i have a family but feels i don't have one. I want to know is this haram?, should i just completely stop looking for myself?
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salam..what do you mean you mom laughed at you? Y would she do that? does she think you are too young? first tell us why your mom finds the idea so ridiculous? and why you family are not willing to help you with this important step in your life??
 
I have no idea as to why she laughed, all i know is that she told me to finish my school and i do not want to finish school iam in my mid twenties and want to get married and have my own family. I even told my mother to let my aunties and uncles know this so they can help too and she did comply with my request and then later changed her mind. I hate to speculate but i think she thinks that it would be hard for her to find someone for me due to my disability, i don't know. Anyways, i haven't had any luck finding a decent guy as of yet, but i want to continue with my search the only thing holding me back is this guilt of what iam doing being haram and i want to know if indeed it is haram or not.
 
no its not haraam as long as the conversation is about marriage sure how it would be haraam when nobody else is going to find you a husband. a husband is not going to fall from the sky:)
 
Maybe you could approach someone in university that you like - or get some of your close freinds to help?
 
04/11/2009 said:
I have no idea as to why she laughed, all i know is that she told me to finish my school and i do not want to finish school iam in my mid twenties and want to get married and have my own family. I even told my mother to let my aunties and uncles know this so they can help too and she did comply with my request and then later changed her mind. I hate to speculate but i think she thinks that it would be hard for her to find someone for me due to my disability, i don't know. Anyways, i haven't had any luck finding a decent guy as of yet, but i want to continue with my search the only thing holding me back is this guilt of what iam doing being haram and i want to know if indeed it is haram or not.
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No hon in that case I don't think what you are doing is against Islam..if no one else seems to want to help you then helping yourself is the best step. I still think you should NOT give up on your school..you can get married and still go to school you know that right? I find it unwise to drop from school at this point..I am sure you came along way..it is ironic how I am kinda the opposite I am putting marriage behind to finish school coz I only have 2more years left till I am done with school but of course I can do both at the same time and so can you sis.
 
I wonder if someone can provide us with some evidence on this topic. :) That would be a really nice addition. ^_^.
 
:sl:
04/11/2009 said:
I've been looking for a husband on my own for quite sometime, i did express to my mother that i wanted to get married but she laughed it off and won't help me. I feel so guilty talking to men online by myself, but my intention is always marriage and if the conversation turns into anything else other then marriage then i always stop communicating with the person, immediately. I have no one else in the world to help me do this, even though i have a family but feels i don't have one. I want to know is this haram?, should i just completely stop looking for myself?
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have you approached your dad/brothers about this...i mean have you asked them to look for you :)
 
:sl:

04/11/2009 said:
..t it would be hard for her to find someone for me due to my disability.
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What disability ? In my country , normally aunt , uncles , cousins , neighbours bring proposals. Don't u have any cousin , friends who can look for u ?

keep praying to Allah for a pious husband . InshaAllah u will get one when it's the right time :)
 
:sl: sis ..

Why don't you talk to a local imam or someone who is your relative and has good contacts ?

May Allah bless you with a brilliant family :)
 
Umm ul-Shaheed said:
:sl:


have you approached your dad/brothers about this...i mean have you asked them to look for you :)
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I don't have brothers and my father left us when i was a child therefore he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I can't talk to imams because the imams here are not very helpful. Thank you to everyone who replied for giving me your advices.
 
:sl: Sister..
then i guess there are two options for you

1)Convince your mom , tell her your issues.. ask her to stop laughing and get serious in a kind way.(she is your mom)

2)Try some thing .. may be Islamic marriage bureau or something.(Depending on where you live , you might have different things similar to it)
 
Sister keep your intentions to be always for the sake of Allaah.

And live each day as it comes - make dua Allah blesses you with a husband.


It will happen when Allah wills, perhaps one day you will make a connection which leads to your husband.

Till then have sabr... what more can you do?

Assalamu Alaikum
 
:sl:

I am puzzled how members can say i dont think it is haram or blatantly say it is not haram. Do you know that you just gave a fatwa? And if you are wrong you actually lied about Allah? If you do not know the answer then please refrain from posting, that way you will do yourself a favour aswell as doing the author of the thread a favour because I am sure the person wants to know the truth and not assumptions.

I do not have knowledge concerning this, I suggest you ask a more knowledgable person. http://www.islamqa.com/en is a good website if you have questions.
 
well i just advised her that it was not haraam because i know of women who found husbands themselves then when they arranged a meeting they met with a mahram and everything so it was kept at a limit always so i mean it is the only way really if nobody else is going to help her and i mean imams are so busy with everybody else requesting him that he knows or a sis or bro for marriage.
 

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