Islamically what should a man do if they will never find marriage?

[theAnnointedOne]

If your a loser and nobody wants to marry you, what should you do in islam? What does islam advise to somebody like this?

Is it okay to pay for sex at this point if you have no other options?

 

[AbuAsiyah]

Assalaam 'Alaykum

No Bro!

"But let them who find not [the means for] marriage abstain [from sexual relations] until Allah enriches them from His bounty." (an-Nur: 33)

Even if Allah doesn't enrich you now in this Dunya (InshaAllah He Will!) then keep patient until He gives you al-Hur inshaAllah:

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Whoever can guarantee (the chastity of) what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs (i.e. his tongue and his private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him." (Bukhari)

This dunya is not but the blink of an eye and then we will stand before Allah ('Azza wa Jal):
[h=2]"And to Allah belongs the unseen [aspects] of the heavens and the earth. And the command for the Hour is not but as a glance of the eye or even nearer. Indeed, Allah is over all things competent." (an-Nahl: 77)[/h]It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The lowest of the people of Paradise in status will be a man whose face Allaah will turn away from the Fire towards Paradise, and make a shady tree appear before him. … Then he will enter his house and his two wives from among al-hoor al-‘iyn will enter after him. They will say: ‘Praise be to Allah Who has created you for us and created us for you.’ And he will say: ‘No one has been given the like of that which I have been given.’” Narrated by Muslim, 188.

“In Paradise the believer will have a tent made from a single hollowed-out pearl, sixty miles long, in which the believer will have wives and he will go around among them and they will not see one another.” (Bukhari)

It was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer in Paradise will be given such and such strength for sexual intercourse.” He was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, will he really be able to do that?” He said, “He will be given the strength of one hundred (men).” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi)

Remember:

“Jannah is surrounded by hardships and the Hell-Fire is surrounded by desires.” (Muslim)

So hold fast to the hardships and stay away from desires.

May Allah make you firm on what pleases Him.

 

[xboxisdead]

If your a loser and nobody wants to marry you, what should you do in islam? What does islam advise to somebody like this?

Is it okay to pay for sex at this point if you have no other options?

Trust me brother the women of akhira are better than the women of Dunaya. The women of akhira does not love you just because you can provide for her only and if this dunaya puts you in a place where you cannot provide for her and she is better than you, they don't go and say I do not need a man..I am superior than him. That is one of many things about akhira women that are far superior over dunaya women by enormous shots. Akhira women does not nag you like dunaya women does. Akhira women does not do false rape allegation against you like Dunaya women does. Akhira women does not beat you physically and psychologically like dunaya women does. Akhira women does not gain weight like dunaya women does. Akhira women does not bash you like dunaya women does. Akhira women are never ungrateful to you like dunaya women are. Alhiora women are not angry at you like dunaya women are. Akhira women cannot get her eyes off you, they are pure, beautiful, soft and their beauty never fades away. They make you feel like a man 24/7 forever. Even if Allah (Subhanahu Wa talaa) rewarded the Akhira women with not needing a man, they never lure that over you like dunaya women do.

Children of this world is not always bells and whistles either. This world is nothing but an illusion and hardship. Your hardship is not finding a mate. Take this opportunity to strive to be better for Akhira. If your mother is still alive...THAT IS YOUR WOMAN that Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) have given you in your life, she loves you in ways no wife could ever do. Strive to please her and make her happy and obey her for her dua on your favor is better than any wife of this world.

But whatever you do, do not DO HARAAM. Just be patient.

* Akhira women (Al hur al ein)

 

[azc]

Trust me brother the women of akhira are better than the women of Dunaya. The women of akhira does not love you just because you can provide for her only and if this dunaya puts you in a place where you cannot provide for her and she is better than you, they don't go and say I do not need a man..I am superior than him. That is one of many things about akhira women that are far superior over dunaya women by enormous shots. Akhira women does not nag you like dunaya women does. Akhira women does not do false rape allegation against you like Dunaya women does. Akhira women does not beat you physically and psychologically like dunaya women does. Akhira women does not gain weight like dunaya women does. Akhira women does not bash you like dunaya women does. Akhira women are never ungrateful to you like dunaya women are. Alhiora women are not angry at you like dunaya women are. Akhira women cannot get her eyes off you, they are pure, beautiful, soft and their beauty never fades away. They make you feel like a man 24/7 forever. Even if Allah (Subhanahu Wa talaa) rewarded the Akhira women with not needing a man, they never lure that over you like dunaya women do.

Children of this world is not always bells and whistles either. This world is nothing but an illusion and hardship. Your hardship is not finding a mate. Take this opportunity to strive to be better for Akhira. If your mother is still alive...THAT IS YOUR WOMAN that Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) have given you in your life, she loves you in ways no wife could ever do. Strive to please her and make her happy and obey her for her dua on your favor is better than any wife of this world.

But whatever you do, do not DO HARAAM. Just be patient.

* Akhira women (Al hur al ein)

I appreciate you for your patience.

Hope you will marry with a good girl.

 

[BeTheChange]

Islamically a man or a woman, the young or the old, the rich or the poor, the so called beautiful or the so called ugly, the literate or the illiterate etc all need to worship Allah swt until we meet the angel of death.

 

[new2010]

Why do you think you are a loser? Despite that, what do you mean by loser?

Just because you get rejected it doesn't mean you are a loser, maybe the women who reject you are losers, because they don't know to value the right thing on a person or have wrong understanding, standards?

Even if you are a loser, doesn't mean you have to be a loser for ever. Despite the fact, that I am sure you're not a loser. Became a man. We all have to work on our selves. If you have some character issues, work on them. If you have not good education, work on that. If you have no money, find a job. If you think you're ugly (there is nothing like that, finding someone attractive is something subjective), get a nice hair cut, wear some clean good looking clothes, take care of your self and you will be fine, inshaAllah.

I am at a similar situation, apart from I don't get rejected because I simply don't know anyone to marry. The pressure we're in is the same and shaitan whispers weird stuff. Don't commit Zina. Don't pay for this thing!!! Eudhubillah. Just think on how you would feel afterwards. You would have the title of a zania, for all you life.

Allah says:

{وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ مَنِ ابْتَغَىٰ وَرَاءَ ذَٰلِكَ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْعَادُونَ} Quran 23:5-7

"And they who guard their private parts. Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors."

Do you know what will happen with those you safe themselves from that evil? Allah says a couple ayats later:

ُ{ولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْوَارِثُونَ الَّذِينَ يَرِثُونَ الْفِرْدَوْسَ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ} Quran: 23:10-11

"Those are the inheritors. Who will inherit al-Firdaus. They will abide therein eternally."

Read the first 11 Ayat from Surah Mu'minun: https://quran.com/23 - RasulAllah :saws1: says, the one who commits to the first eleven Ayat of this Surah is most likely to enter paradise. Just consider that. All these things mentions in this range of Ayahs are actually all important to protect society. Don't be of those you don't consider. Just think about all the illness that it transferred due to illegal intercourse.

I don't recommend the following to you, however, there are scholars who permit to masturbate when you are really really close to zina. The best is to not do both, but before committing adultery.... stay steadfast and learn the religion. Masturbation is dangerous, too.

May Allah protect me and you from such evil.

 

[Alamgir]

If your a loser and nobody wants to marry you, what should you do in islam? What does islam advise to somebody like this?

Is it okay to pay for sex at this point if you have no other options?

Asalamu Alaikum

;D

Sorry I can't help but find your post rather comical.

Anyway, no! Keep looking for a good Muslim woman to marry. Inshallah you will find her.

 

[ZeeshanParvez]

Despair from the Mercy of Allaah is a trait of those who are misguided.

So, for starters, do not despair. It is only because of Allaah anyone of us gets married.

The question is not if you will never get married but when you will get married.

Until then, follow the advice of the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam).

Fast.

 

['Abd-al Latif]

If your a loser and nobody wants to marry you, what should you do in islam? What does islam advise to somebody like this?

Is it okay to pay for sex at this point if you have no other options?

Islamically, a man should never give up hope and he should realise that there is more to life than finding a wife.

 

[xboxisdead]

Islamically, a man should never give up hope and he should realise that there is more to life than finding a wife.

I thought that was obvious

 

['Abd-al Latif]

I thought that was obvious

Clearly it's not.

 

[new2010]

I think people argue like you are married or asexual. Sexuality is a major part of life and if that is missing it can cause really hard time. People say it is the best think human being can experience in this world. So, when this is missing, how do you get motivation to enter Paradise? So, stop making fun of those Allah hasn't granted a wife!

 

[xboxisdead]

I think people argue like you are married or asexual. Sexuality is a major part of life and if that is missing it can cause really hard time. People say it is the best think human being can experience in this world. So, when this is missing, how do you get motivation to enter Paradise? So, stop making fun of those Allah hasn't granted a wife!

It is only hard time for people who are at a certain age group and certain gender group as well. You are aware ones you pass that age group sexuality and marriage will no longer be an important part of your life and you actually can find happiness somewhere else beside sex and wife? You may as well be asexual after a certain age group O_O I never thought of it that way. You want to know what motivates you to enter paradise?



PARADISE. I am actually going to change it and say, seeing Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) when you are in paradise should be your major motivation , not women of this world and sex. If that is your motivation to enter paradise then you my friend need serious rehab to repair your iman.

What? Not seeing Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) with your two eyes when you are in paradise is not enough motivation for you??? I swear if Allah (Subhanahhu Wa Talaa) was to degree that if a man never have sex get to guarantee entering paradise I bet you all men would never have sex period if that is what it would take. Sex and wife should not be the motivation factor at all for worshiping Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) and striving to enter paradise....period.

 

[new2010]

I don't want to discuss about this matter to much here, but: What age do you mean? 50-70? Yes, you're right I can assume that this age groups are not interested in that thing anymore, just hard time to get there. You just forget what people undergo in the meanwhile until they get old. I don't know where are you from, but most people here are in the western countries based...

Please read what I have written correctly, or try to understand it on the right way, instead of doubting the Iman of people you don't know, okay? We human beings are creations with emotions and feelings. If you stay abstinent - though you have desire - and have no one with whom you can share intimacy on a halal way, this will cause an imbalance. One of the wisdom of intimacy is that you experience a good feeling that you can imagine how great Paradise is gonna be. So, after you experience such a feeling of love and care, you will probably tend to do more good deeds because you tasted one of the most intense feelings on the dunya, so that will motivate you to strive for paradise. When people wouldn't experience any good feeling/experience in this dunya, how could they imagine how Paradise is be like? Not that weird stuff you interpreted out of statement.

I am out now, so I don't want to talk about stuff I have only theoretical knowledge about, since I am not married. Cheers!

EDIT:
"I swear if Allah (Subhanahhu Wa Talaa) was to degree that if a man never have sex get to guarantee entering paradise I bet you all men would never have sex"

With this statement you disqualified yourself of any understanding of human nature or live in a dream land where people are not people else something like sinless person with the understanding of the prophets of the religion. Please stop eating and drinking for the rest of your life brother, let's see what happens.

Allah has decreed that people need intimacy, otherwise mankind wouldn't be able to survive for a long time. It has all it's wisdom and reasons.

 

[ahmed.younes]

Fasting

 

[xboxisdead]

Allah has decreed that people need intimacy, otherwise mankind wouldn't be able to survive for a long time. It has all it's wisdom and reasons.

Brother you made a couple of typo's here so I bold it them for you with the correction. Remove the s after Allah name and it is decreed and not degreed. I understand where you are coming from, brother. No question about it. But like everything in Dunaya it starts good and then eventually goes down. I can enjoy eating chicken but the taste of the chicken in this world is the same...does not change and it does not get better and eventually may taste horrible if I did not cook it the same way with the same herbs and spices and other times I may burn it and I cannot even eat it. Fruits in this world sometimes they taste good, other times they are rotten, other times they are not ready but never do they taste better every time you eat them.

Sex with a wife (or husband) starts good but it goes down hill from here. Wife's attitude starts good but goes down hill from here. I understand what you are trying to say..but it should not be the end of the world if it did not happen...because there is hikma for everything in this world. Nowadays the women of this world is not the same as the sahaba's time...and they are not getting any better in the future either. You have to skip your desires and lock it in the chest as it is fighting to come out and you need to have a truly serious open mind and eagle eyes to finding your mate. I am not saying perfect wife...but I am saying one that will not make you lose your hair and have a heart attack at 23 and leave you out in the cold. This in itself is a long journey with thunder and rain and dark cloud to find the one with shining light hitting her face and butterfly flying around her. Only Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) know the time to find her and perhaps the reason the OP have not found her yet is because he is still walking in that dark cloud of thunder, wind and rain that is hitting him on the face and he should exercise patience?

- - - Updated - - -

Fasting

I think brother he meant not eating or drinking forever which of course means your death. Never did I say forever, but in some cases when it comes to intimacy it maybe forever. His best bet is to go to third world countries and poor rural area to find that mate. It does not make him less of a man nor does it make him weak either nor does it proof he cannot handle a strong independent women. All this are social tactic shaming designed to oppress men. He is a person. A human. He have 100% right to have a mate that does not challenge him every time and emasculate him all the time or fight for leadership all the time or or or. People forget men are human and in West people are trying hard to make it where he is not. I think he should go to poor countries where men are respected and honestly he should live there BEFORE IT ALSO get infected by Western ideology.

 

[new2010]

Brother you made a couple of typo's here so I bold it them for you with the correction. Remove the s after Allah name and it is decreed and not degreed. I understand where you are coming from, brother. No question about it. But like everything in Dunaya it starts good and then eventually goes down. I can enjoy eating chicken but the taste of the chicken in this world is the same...does not change and it does not get better and eventually may taste horrible if I did not cook it the same way with the same herbs and spices and other times I may burn it and I cannot even eat it. Fruits in this world sometimes they taste good, other times they are rotten, other times they are not ready but never do they taste better every time you eat them.

Sex with a wife (or husband) starts good but it goes down hill from here. Wife's attitude starts good but goes down hill from here. I understand what you are trying to say..but it should not be the end of the world if it did not happen...because there is hikma for everything in this world. Nowadays the women of this world is not the same as the sahaba's time...and they are not getting any better in the future either. You have to skip your desires and lock it in the chest as it is fighting to come out and you need to have a truly serious open mind and eagle eyes to finding your mate. I am not saying perfect wife...but I am saying one that will not make you lose your hair and have a heart attack at 23 and leave you out in the cold. This in itself is a long journey with thunder and rain and dark cloud to find the one with shining light hitting her face and butterfly flying around her. Only Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) know the time to find her and perhaps the reason the OP have not found her yet is because he is still walking in that dark cloud of thunder, wind and rain that is hitting him on the face and he should exercise patience?

Jazak Allahu khair. Sorry, English is not my mother tongue. I have corrected the mistakes.

Akhi, I agree to your comment. Of course sometime even intimacy will become routine. However, I think it depends on the couple. May be sexuality will not be more that important but having a caring wife or husband will be. Someone who looks after you, when you're sick or you look after her. Someone to whom you can speak. Honestly, I think it's not the sex part that I am missing in my life (sorry for the language) it's more to have someone, you know? Of course the other part is a desire that wants to be fulfilled either, but you know, to have someone around who might become your better self. Allah - almighty - says, he created women that men can find peace in them or rest with them. My heart needs exactly that. Someone with whom I can worship Allah together and share experiences and go through thick and thin. Like having a good friend with whom you can build up a family. I see marriage as a chance to better yourself. Of course it all depends on the circumstances and on the women. It depends on what you make of it. If you are a good husband, caring, loving, respecting and following the religion and you find someone normal, not feminist following the religion, there is high potential, to really improve your life. Yes, I know, this sound really optimistic but we're human we all do mistakes and that's fine. As long as we're open to learn from them.

Marriage is a big thing, I think. It might help you to become really good person or it might destroy you. It depends on the characters and how you approach problems and deal with situation that are not optimal.

And yes, it's Qadr of Allah. I am not married yet and not that young anymore. But I am sure it has it's reasons why Allah has been let me waiting for so long. I try to improve myself until Allah finally grands me someone good. Even it's hard and frustrating. InshaAllah Khair.

 

[xboxisdead]

Jazak Allahu khair. Sorry, English is not my mother tongue. I have corrected the mistakes.

Akhi, I agree to your comment. Of course sometime even intimacy will become routine. However, I think it depends on the couple. May be sexuality will not be more that important but having a caring wife or husband will be. Someone who looks after you, when you're sick or you look after her. Someone to whom you can speak. Honestly, I think it's not the sex part that I am missing in my life (sorry for the language) it's more to have someone, you know? Of course the other part is a desire that wants to be fulfilled either, but you know, to have someone around who might become your better self. Allah - almighty - says, he created women that men can find peace in them or rest with them. My heart needs exactly that. Someone with whom I can worship Allah together and share experiences and go through thick and thin. Like having a good friend with whom you can build up a family. I see marriage as a chance to better yourself. Of course it all depends on the circumstances and on the women. It depends on what you make of it. If you are a good husband, caring, loving, respecting and following the religion and you find someone normal, not feminist following the religion, there is high potential, to really improve your life. Yes, I know, this sound really optimistic but we're human we all do mistakes and that's fine. As long as we're open to learn from them.

Marriage is a big thing, I think. It might help you to become really good person or it might destroy you. It depends on the characters and how you approach problems and deal with situation that are not optimal.

And yes, it's Qadr of Allah. I am not married yet and not that young anymore. But I am sure it has it's reasons why Allah has been let me waiting for so long. I try to improve myself until Allah finally grands me someone good. Even it's hard and frustrating. InshaAllah Khair.

Then my advice IS TRULY to go out to third world country and find your spouse there. If you find that she will be corrupted in the West then prepare to make a dramatic life changing move and settle there. Your job is not to please women of society when they complain why are men leaving and marrying outer seas? Ignore these women who write articles or blogs or post in forms or talk in TV in operah or talk show where they further bash men because they cannot handle strong independent women and they are leaving to third world country where they seek dominance over stupid women blah blah. These shaming tactics will come in tuition...men should not listen to these trash and try to obey society. You are here to worship Allah (Subhanahu Wa talaa) and obey him and his prophet and you are here to build a new family, it is on your shoulder to pick a good wife and mother and not here to please the whims and desires of women to further empower them over men and further make men be slaves of women. You want that partner you seek and have not found it in the West? Then leave and go to the East and other countries where feminist and female empowerment and female superiority is not their hallmark. Don't do it only for yourself, do it for your children and especially if you are going to have sons...do it for him. Did you see the video of the 8 year old boy wearing girl clothes? You better provide your future son a protection against that..and no better way to do it then marrying a good woman and you show him gender roles and show him it is GREAT TO BE a boy and there advantages of being a boy for boys only. This will masculinate him and not emasculate him and empower him. Allah (Subhanahu Wa talaa) did not create one gender..called female and gave her everything and left boys to suffer. No. He did not. Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) is just. He gave boys their rights and he knows their nature...we as human perverted everything and now oppressing men. This DOES NOT PLEASE Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) nor does it make him happy to see boys dressing like girls, acting like girls and being feminized either.

 

[Zeal]

If your a loser and nobody wants to marry you, what should you do in islam? What does islam advise to somebody like this?

Is it okay to pay for sex at this point if you have no other options?

If your a loser than focus in making urself a success

If you chase the dunya then it will only leave you but if you chase the akhira than dunya would coke running towards you to

Focus on yourself and allow yourself to make at the least slow incremental changes and don't overburden yourself by rushing to do what is even beyond your capabilities - have sabr and istiqaamah and seek help constantly from Allah.

If you feel like a loser my best guess is that its a matter of the heart.. But you have to ask the questions yourself to figure out what's wrong with it.. maybe ur ungrateful and you need to begin with being grateful for the biggest gifts in life appreciate Islam and then your family and then other ni'mah that Allah has blessed you with

Tell Allah about the nimah he has given to you ask him that he make you use it in the best possible way and bless it for you and to protect you from using that nimah in a bad way

_________
Keep the Quran as a companion because it can alleviate depression and hadith have come with a dua to support this. Memorise a little along with its tafseer and you will see that it will come a long way and pray your tahajjud if you really really really do want it otherwise the reality could well be you probably don't want it as bad as you think you do
And what can be a better way to ask for something?

 

[Abz2000]

[MENTION=43187]theAnnointedOne[/MENTION]

Did you know that the name Al Maseeh has more to do with hope in Allah's mercy for people who have almost lost hope - than it does to do with kinga da jooz?

It means polish or wipe or clean - and that is primarily in reference to sins - although a bunch of jewish kings did love to use the title.

It doesn't have anything to do with Trump's implanted fur tonic or genocidal bombs fur sure - though his poor kaafir soldiers (and those of his allies) in Syria should turn to Islaam whilst the going's good since a breath of God's wrath would make them feel eternally regretful.

And it is also a sign of the last day of the planet earth when only God's face and nothing else will remain.

Wise up coz it's all about you the individual and the events are taking place inside of you.


P.S on a lighter note - in Bangladesh it means "shoe polisher" in contrast to kinga da jooz.