issues...what do i do!!!???

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Ayesha_Hanif

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Basicaly, because i have now moved to london and trying t sort my life out, am like reli living by myself and i get really bored and lonly so i go down to my fiance's house, because his family is alos living in london. queit recently me and his sister in law have ahd some issues. similar things did occour in the past but i left it, and just stayed calm about it. i talk to her like my sister however it feels like she is not respecting that. right now she is really teasting my patience and some times i honestly just want to smack her. what do i do?? (do i smack her?? lol:hiding:
 
Don't let social issues bother you, you're just crossing a bridge,

how people react and treat me doesn't bother me at all, I tell myself "What do I care, I'm just passing through, on my way to the place where everyone has good adhab and ikhlaaq, who cares if I meet a few who behave in a disrespectfull manner on the way, they don't bring me down to their level and cause me to behave disrespectfully back to them.

Just like the prophet peace be upon him didn't start throwing rubish back at the old lady, even though she threw rubbish on him everytime he walked past her house, he didn't react by stopping to her level and throwing rubbish back at her. Instead he went to see how she was when she was ill :)

What exactly is she doing that makes you want to hit her? this problem is in my family too, none of my aunty's get on with my uncle's wife and they come out with all this stuff but I can't see anything haraam in it.

women have a hard time getting on it seems, or sister in laws particularly. They might be jealous of your relationship with their brother, maybe their no longer his centre of attention and that's causing them to behave in a manner that's displeasing to you.
 
Ayesha_Hanif said:
Basicaly, because i have now moved to london and trying t sort my life out, am like reli living by myself and i get really bored and lonly so i go down to my fiance's house, because his family is alos living in london. queit recently me and his sister in law have ahd some issues. similar things did occour in the past but i left it, and just stayed calm about it. i talk to her like my sister however it feels like she is not respecting that. right now she is really teasting my patience and some times i honestly just want to smack her. what do i do?? (do i smack her?? lol:hiding:
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i would talk to your fiance about it. don't know what issues that occurred between you two. and i don't see why the two of you's cannot get along. this is really not good at all. there might be some jealousy problem going on here mabe with the sister. she probably has a close relation with her brother. i would carry on being nice with her as much as possible and bite your tongue if she dose not give you the same treatment back. at the end of the day she has to accept that you are going to marry her brother weather she likes it or not.
 
he is probably the type who was protector and maintainer over his sister and now he's going to get married soon, he will be protector and maintainer over you and that would cause jealousy. personally i would be afraid of getting the bad eyes here. his sister might not do it intentionally.. she won't mean to do it but look that is why jealousy is such a big sin
 
its not his sister its his brothers wife, my fiance already know about this but it just seams like things dont get better.
 
Ayesha_Hanif said:
its not his sister its his brothers wife, my fiance already know about this but it just seams like things dont get better.
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oh sorry i must have read your post wrong then. i thought you said it was his actual blood sister that you don't get along with. i don't know why that his brother's wife is not good with you. she needs to grow up. bickering is a sin and you should say this to her. you should address her behavour and insha'Allah if she is intelligent she will understand and change her ways.
 
i was not wearing my glasses :giggling: sorry for reading your post wrong
 
lol its k, i reli am stuk and tbh sometimes i just feel like crying she does these things in a sneeky way, like she will tell me mother in law to be that u should say tell her off when i make the slightest mistake, and when i tell her about the mistake i made and i was told off about it. then she says that my mother in law to be is wrong and it was a pety thing to do. and recently she told my fiance's sister that am disrespectful, and i clean the house up because i want attention and i want to be a good daughter in law!! which is so wrong because thats the way i have been bought up in my house when i was living with my family i did everything in the house, and i am still used to that and when i do go round there i help out, not becuse i want attention because that the way my parents have bought me up!! i just dont no what to say anymore...
 
:sl:
be nice to her and be patient, who knows she might change .if she doesn't change after a long time ignore and don't care about her :)
 
she's stirring trouble up for no reason :S I can't see why'd she do that, maybe she see's you as competition now, before it was just her and she was the golden daughter in law now there's you aswell and she thinks your competing with her.
 
Ayesha_Hanif said:
lol its k, i reli am stuk and tbh sometimes i just feel like crying she does these things in a sneeky way, like she will tell me mother in law to be that u should say tell her off when i make the slightest mistake, and when i tell her about the mistake i made and i was told off about it. then she says that my mother in law to be is wrong and it was a pety thing to do. and recently she told my fiance's sister that am disrespectful, and i clean the house up because i want attention and i want to be a good daughter in law!! which is so wrong because thats the way i have been bought up in my house when i was living with my family i did everything in the house, and i am still used to that and when i do go round there i help out, not becuse i want attention because that the way my parents have bought me up!! i just dont no what to say anymore...
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humm it could be something to do with there culture. what culture are they? like where are they from your fiance?

she should really fear Allah. muslims are not mean't to act this way with eachother.

but do you know some people are just naturally bossy by nature. i remember that i use to have to cook with this girl in home econimices and she would quickly point out every little mistake i was doing wrong. you know she wanted to be the teachers pet :raging: just the littlest of things she would make me crazy over by the end of the class we would be pulling the heads of eachother:laugh: that girl really tested my patience;D
 

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