It is just unbearable..contemplating suicide.

[anonymous]

Probably my mom hates me...
I am feeling very distress with my personal issues and I am unable to share them with anyone. Yet my mom nags me all the time. She says that I am a disgrace to my parents...that I am skinny and not of a built personality. I have been as good as possible this Ramadan, and alhamdulillah it was very productive for me this time, and I intend to fast the 6 days of Shawwal as well. Yet I dont feel peace...my moms nagging, my personal issues, the inability to share them with anyone else... I have been searcing for methods to end my life...i just cant take it anymore.

La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wu'saha. I am aware of that ayah.

I put trust in Allah and I ask him alone. I have stopped asking for things from my mother, neither I do share my issues with her anymore.

I know it is very silly to create a thread about this..

 

[Snowflake]

Assalamu alaykum dear Sister/Brother,

If suicide were able to bring relief, many of us wouldn't be here today. The punishments of the grave and the Supreme Horror are much, much, worse than anything we can ever go through in this life. We need to be patient. Remember how the people ridiculed Prophet Ayub when Allah tried him? We can never have his patience but we can try to have a fraction of it. I know that sometimes, no matter what we do it's never enough. But with Allah, it's not just our efforts, even our intentions count too. Be patient with your Mother and get closer to Allah than you have ever been before. I guarantee you that if you start working harder to please your Creator, He will make others pleased with you. The pleasure of Allah is the only way to find peace, and contentment in this life and the next.

 

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum,
Don't you dare say it's silly to make a thread like this! Your problems matter. You matter. Don't let the shaytaans convince you that you're not worth anything, or that your problems don't matter! Not on my watch
I wish I could give you more advice, but you didn't tell us much of your situation.
Did you actually try to talk to your mother about these issues? did you check wheter she really hates? Are you sure she wasn't just trying to motivate you? Remember that nobody's perfect, maybe she has good intentions but doesn't now how to help you? Because the way I see it; either you talked yourself into believeing that she hates you because of your low self esteem. Or she actually hates you and that is then probably the reason why you have a low self esteem and suicidal tendancies.

On the off chance that your mom does actually hate you, that's probably because of her! That's not your fault or not because you deserve no better. But really, start by talking, when people don't talk with another the shaytaans are having a party! "Oh she must be doing this because of that, or that because of this"...
Seriously, talk to your mother, don't focus on the details, focus on how you feel (as difficult that it might be to talk about feelings sometimes).