Its all too much! Caring for disbaled elderly on my own and feeling overhelmed,trappd

[searchin4light]

Salaam!

I dont what to say. I know Allah swt does not burden a soul more than it can handle, but im feeling like its allllll tooo much. I am in my mid20's and I feel like my life is falling apart. im a fulltime carer for my disabled elderly aunt who needs 24/7 round the clock care. I feed,clothe,bathe her and take her to the toilet by all the time. Im not moaning about my aunt who I luv, but im overhwlemed that im doing this all by myself. I wake up in the morning miserable because ive been kept up all throughout the night and have no energy at my age to do anythign but sit in front of the tv whilst I also keep panicking if my aunt needs my attention. To top this off i have a family who are unable to help because their all too busy with the marriage and kids. Im supposed to be lookin for a job, but always feel too tired and exhausted to sit on a computer and fill in hours of application forms only to turn up to interviews feeling exhausted and tired because I had to egt up to look after my aunt.

I dont know what to do. sometimes i sit and cry wondering why my life is filled with sooo much stress whilst others my age dont do anything yet moan about the silliest and smallest of things. I only ask Allah to lessen this load. I wish there was someone who could help me but there isnt. I know im doing a good job but its also not wrong to say "its all too much" when it really is. Im tired, exhausted and as I am writing this just fed up.

Someone,anyone who can related and NOT JUdge others on somethign they will never know, your response would really help me.

 

[GuestFellow]

Salaam,

I'm aware this can be difficult. I have a question. How can you search for a job when your aunt requires so much care? You will not be able to cope with this. So I would avoid looking for a job, unless you have financial commitments.

This is what you can do:

1. Ask your relatives for help. For example, once a week, tell someone else to feed your aunt. I'm aware that they are busy, but I would still ask.

2. Nurse. There are some nurses who can visit you and help your aunt. You may have to pay.

This is all the advice I can give you.

Take care.

 

[جوري]

I am sorry about your troubles sis.. have you thought of a visiting nurse service?
My friend had to drop out of grad school to take care of her aunt who had breast cancer, she did all the same for her and her aunt recently died, it was terrible to sort through the emotions of grief and relief. Is there anyone who can offer you any sort of help at all? just to take some of the edge of?

may Allah swt reward you abundantly for this in this life and the next

ameen

 

[Tyrion]

Have you considered paying someone to help out? You could ask your family to help you cover the costs, since they're too busy to help you themselves...

 

[syilla]

Subhnallah ukhti...it must been hard for you. Take it easy and just accept that you can not do everything on your own. Take it slow and steady and take a rest for a few days from taking care of your aunt. Ask assistant from someone else. Everyone need to take a break.

I know you must have been trying hard to be sincere in helping her but you have to know your limits. And remember and have faith that one day everything will be easy for you and Allah will help you much more since you have contributed alot.

Do take care sis i really hope you will not give up in what you are doing. Just remember when you are sincere in doing something you will not bother too much about those little things.