Its another divorce question

[celina]

Aslam to all.

I may have told a million times before on this forum about myself that I am a nearly divorcee etc (don't want to bore you again)

Due to Allah's blessings I have regained my confidence and thanks to a lot of people on this forum, their huge support may Allah reward you all. However there has been something lingering me for a while, I know I shouldn't feel like this but ARE DIVORCED WOMEN LABELLED?. A lot of people have said to me give it a second shot but know I will only marry a divorced man

I would like your views and comments about this please.

 

[Sizzlerjimer]

asalam u alikum wa rehamtualhi wa berkathu

sister divroced women and labeled or not labeled totally depends on your culture and which country you live in.People in one part of the world will not care about it and some people will make it a bigggg deal so i dnt think this is related to islam in such a way rather its to do with ones culture.

are you saying you will only choose divroced man or are you saying only divorced man will marry you?

If your saying only divroced men will marry you then thats rng because there are many brothers out there who will marry a Practicing divorced sister rather then a non practicing girl but yes in many cultures divorced men tend to get married to divorced women which is not ryt.

Personally me i will marry a divorced practicing sister rather then a modern non practicing sister.

Dont worry you wont be labelled even if you do pray to ALLAH to give you a pious spouse.

May ALLAH give you the strength to go thru all of this and may ALLAH help you in making your emaan strong.

Jazak ALLAHU Khayrun

 

[celina]

Wallay kum aslam.

Unfourtunately brother culture never leaves us alone, I am a practising muslim alhomdolliAllah, a little moderate, however living in a western country it is so difficult to find practising brother, I was married to a modern guy he nearly ruined me. I would choose a divorced man, but practising would be better.

JAZAK ALLAH. MAY ALLAH GIVE YOU AJER.

 

[جوري]

sis, may I ask, is it important that you marry a virginal man or a widowed man or a divorced man? isn't the most important thing to marry the right man?.. I know you fear labels but in the process you also sound disparaging for similar title holders..

I honestly don't know that people look for these things when they want to get married.. perhaps some do I don't know.. but I haven't encountered any personally...I think most people look for a good persoanlity and excellent character before all the little ancillary hangups.

I remember attending the wedding of a friend of mine three years ago, where all the guests at my table could do was comment on the fact that she was marrying a black guy..
All I can say is may Allah swt forgive them, I found them despicable.. but my friend was genuinely happy with her husband and he is a good man! may Allah swt bless them both and their marriage.. what matters at the end of the day is what you think and want.. why do you spend your life worried about what other people think or say?-- that is no way to live!

 

[Grofica]

sis, may I ask, is it important that you marry a virginal man or a widowed man or a divorced man? isn't the most important thing to marry the right man?.. I know you fear labels but in the process you also sound disparaging for similar title holders..

I honestly don't know that people look for these things when they want to get married.. perhaps some do I don't know.. but I haven't encountered any personally...I think most people look for a good persoanlity and excellent character before all the little ancillary hangups.

I remember attending the wedding of a friend of mine three years ago, where all the guests at my table could do was comment on the fact that she was marrying a black guy..
All I can say is may Allah swt forgive them, I found them despicable.. but my friend was genuinely happy with her husband and he is a good man! may Allah swt bless them both and their marriage.. what matters at the end of the day is what you think and want.. why do you spend your life worried about what other people think or say?-- that is no way to live!

WOOOOOHOOOOOO! well said Gossamer Skye!!!!

I agree... I just dont know if i could have said it so nice! :statisfie

 

[celina]

sis, may I ask, is it important that you marry a virginal man or a widowed man or a divorced man? isn't the most important thing to marry the right man?.. I know you fear labels but in the process you also sound disparaging for similar title holders..

I honestly don't know that people look for these things when they want to get married.. perhaps some do I don't know.. but I haven't encountered any personally...I think most people look for a good persoanlity and excellent character before all the little ancillary hangups.

I remember attending the wedding of a friend of mine three years ago, where all the guests at my table could do was comment on the fact that she was marrying a black guy..
All I can say is may Allah swt forgive them, I found them despicable.. but my friend was genuinely happy with her husband and he is a good man! may Allah swt bless them both and their marriage.. what matters at the end of the day is what you think and want.. why do you spend your life worried about what other people think or say?-- that is no way to live!

Its not what people think, its about experineces in life, ofcourse I would want to marry a right person, when I married I thought I was marrying a righteouse person but that was not the case. When I said I would like to marry a divorced man I meant it in the sense that he would probably understand what I have been through. Sister I need your duas.

 

[Ar-RaYYan]

I However there has been something lingering me for a while, I know I shouldn't feel like this but ARE DIVORCED WOMEN LABELLED?.

Im going to be blunt and honest with you. Unfortunately, -most cultures especially those from islamic backgrounds- divorced women are labelled. Obviously islamically these type of labelling shouldnt happen but people cant help being so judgemental, ungrateful and most of all they are finding it so hard to mind their own business.:hmm:

 

[celina]

Im going to be blunt and honest with you. Unfortunately, -most cultures especially those from islamic backgrounds- divorced women are labelled. Obviously islamically these type of labelling shouldnt happen but people cant help being so judgemental, ungrateful and most of all they are finding it so hard to mind their own business.:hmm:

I agree, us the young generation don't believe in culture but it still sticks to us sadly. :heated:

 

[Ar-RaYYan]

I agree, us the young generation don't believe in culture but it still sticks to us sadly. :heated:

Also those that stigmatise divorce women tend to come from older generation. The younger generation wouldnt refuse someone on the bases that he/she is divorced. If we generalise i dont think a young practising muslim would refuse a sister because she was previoulsy married so inshallah sis dont worry too much about it you will find a pious husband bi'idnillah

 

[جوري]

Its not what people think, its about experineces in life, ofcourse I would want to marry a right person, when I married I thought I was marrying a righteouse person but that was not the case. When I said I would like to marry a divorced man I meant it in the sense that he would probably understand what I have been through. Sister I need your duas.

you got my du3a dear sis :smile:

Jazaki Allah khyran