Wayward Soul
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Salaam!
Over the past year or two I have flip-flopped between Christianity and Islam. However now I have chosen Islam as my path. I have not recited the Shahada this time (I have many times before, but reverted back to Christianity) because I feel guilty about doing it the other times and going back on my word to Allah and turning back to Christianity. So I will not recite it this time until I am completely sure about my faith, as I do not wish to disgrace or betray Allah by bearing false witness and going back on my Shahada.
The reason I went back to Christianity all those times, honestly, was because of Western propaganda against Islam. I felt guilty being a Muslim and I felt that I was somehow the enemy of my fellow Americans, because that is how Muslims are so often portrayed on television and in the cinema. While I know that that is not true, my faith was easily shaken because of my fear of how others would see me. I understand that was weakness and immature and I have repented to Allah time and time again for it.
My question is, has anyone else experienced this feeling of guilt when reverting to Islam from Christianity? Also, I just wanted to add that reading the Koran has definitely had more of an impact on my life than the Bible has. I've recently had my heart broken and shattered by a heartless woman, and just by reading the Koran I felt at peace inside and was able to quickly recover. The Koran is truly a holy book, much more so than the Bible!
Over the past year or two I have flip-flopped between Christianity and Islam. However now I have chosen Islam as my path. I have not recited the Shahada this time (I have many times before, but reverted back to Christianity) because I feel guilty about doing it the other times and going back on my word to Allah and turning back to Christianity. So I will not recite it this time until I am completely sure about my faith, as I do not wish to disgrace or betray Allah by bearing false witness and going back on my Shahada.
The reason I went back to Christianity all those times, honestly, was because of Western propaganda against Islam. I felt guilty being a Muslim and I felt that I was somehow the enemy of my fellow Americans, because that is how Muslims are so often portrayed on television and in the cinema. While I know that that is not true, my faith was easily shaken because of my fear of how others would see me. I understand that was weakness and immature and I have repented to Allah time and time again for it.
My question is, has anyone else experienced this feeling of guilt when reverting to Islam from Christianity? Also, I just wanted to add that reading the Koran has definitely had more of an impact on my life than the Bible has. I've recently had my heart broken and shattered by a heartless woman, and just by reading the Koran I felt at peace inside and was able to quickly recover. The Koran is truly a holy book, much more so than the Bible!