Keeping A Cheating Secret!

[Iceee]

Salaam.

Yesterday was a busy day, woke up at 6:00am for Fajr, go to school, pray jummah, McDonalds job, online job, and then at 8:30pm my Mom told me to go babysit her friends children.

I babysit kids because my Mom tells her friends that I'm a good babysitter and stuff. Whatever, I went to the woman's home. I babysat her kids before so I knew all the information. So I babysat her two daughters aged 10 and 7 I think. They actually told me that they told their Mom to call me because they say the other babysitters are stupid lol. So I drew some funny images on paper, watched some T.V girly shows which was boring, the best part was playing "Truth or Dare" kids style with them. I did play Dead Man Walking, Hide and Seek, Dolls, Punch Pillow etc. and I made them dance until they get tired so they would go to sleep early. (My secret).

I don't like talking to kids about their personal life like family and friends. The 10 year old when she was going to bed told me to come to her room. She started telling me about her parents. Her Dad is usually out for business meetings in other countries.
-Her Dad's friend comes to their house many times while their Dad isn't home
-She hears "noises" coming from her mom's bedroom when Dad's friend is there
-Her Mom tells her not to say a word about their Dad's friend.
-Dad's friend gives her wicked eyes and threatens her to not tell anyone he was here

I asked what she wanted to do. She said she didn't want her Mom and Dad to fight but can't keep this a secret. I told her to do what her heart tells her to do. I told her that whatever decision she makes whether to tell her Dad or to keep it a secret will be a good decision in the end.

I didn't say anything to the mother. She was supposed to give me $15.00 for three hours of babysitting but gave me $20.00 bill instead which goes to my future car inshallah.

What should I do: Keep it a secret? Confront the mother? Tell my own Mom? What decision is haram because I think can't keep secrets between people.

The woman and her family isn't Muslim. I ask this because it bothers me so much right now, it's crazy!

 

[Iceee]

Ja'Zakullah for accepting this post.

 

[جوري]

الحمد لله that it isn't a Muslim family - there's no sin beyond Kufr - you should let them resolve their own issues and not meddle!
The only thing I'd personally do is refrain from baby sitting. This is injurious to the soul - the level of disgust for me would outweigh any financial gain.

 

[sister herb]

^ I agree with sister. Speacially you should avoid to go babysitting to hers home again. You know now that she is not faithfull in hers marriage and when you are with her - as you know - Shaytan is the third in there. You are young man. What if she will try to ask you too to "visit to hers bedroom", for example?

:embarrass

 

[Jedi_Mindset]

True, i shall not interfere in this, the husband sooner or later will find out insha'Allah. Kufar or not, its the human conscience which forbids such kinds of acts. But its best to not expose this sin to the dad, he will find out. Guaranteed. And when he does, he will swing a few punches to that woman lol

Stop babysitting there and dont allow yourself to be in a room with only that woman. She is treacherous and disgusting.

Perhaps you can say to one of the kids that he/she need to tell it to her dad

 

[Mustafa2012]

Brother, you get into some really interesting situations.

 

[Iceee]

Salaam.

I that it isn't a Muslim family - there's no sin beyond Kufr - you should let them resolve their own issues and not meddle!

I wasn't planning on interfering with people's marriage. I'm a quiet person as well, don't like being in the middle or my name being said.

The only thing I'd personally do is refrain from baby sitting. This is injurious to the soul - the level of disgust for me would outweigh any financial gain.

You mean stop babysitting everyone's home or just theres? Why?

I agree with sister. Speacially you should avoid to go babysitting to hers home again. You know now that she is not faithfull in hers marriage and when you are with her - as you know - Shaytan is the third in there. You are young man. What if she will try to ask you too to "visit to hers bedroom", for example?

I will try my best to not go there to babysit. The kids seem to like me and they told their Mom to call me to babysit. I'll try my best to say no inshallah.

I don't think a 40 year old woman wants to do anything with an 18 year old. But I actually never went to her bedroom, she talked to me and gave me the money in the kitchen.

True, i shall not interfere in this, the husband sooner or later will find out insha'Allah. Kufar or not, its the human conscience which forbids such kinds of acts. But its best to not expose this sin to the dad, he will find out. Guaranteed. And when he does, he will swing a few punches to that woman lol

About the swinging the few punches, in North America, if a man even lays a hand on a woman without consent, they are done for it.

Perhaps you can say to one of the kids that he/she need to tell it to her dad

I'll let them decide that.

Brother, you get into some really interesting situations.

That's my life.

You're forgetting the question. Wouldn't keeping this a secret be haram?

 

[جوري]

I wasn't planning on interfering with people's marriage. I'm a quiet person as well, don't like being in the middle or my name being said.

You're forgetting the question. Wouldn't keeping this a secret be haram?

What should I do:

:wa:
If you weren't planning on interfering then the logical conclusion is to keep it to yourself and let this woman to her fate.
Also who said that keeping a secret is haram? I've never heard of that rather betraying trust is haram and exposing sins is haram.
Given that she's not a Muslim anyway I don't see it as a big moral dilemma.

You mean stop babysitting everyone's home or just theres? Why?

Just theirs and the reason is obvious- Is a woman not actively cheating on her husband to her kid's knowledge bothersome to you? and if it weren't bothersome then why are you writing about it? Surely even if you expose her you don't expect to babysit much longer after that anyway?

 

[Iceee]

If you weren't planning on interfering then the logical conclusion is to keep it to yourself and let this woman to her fate.
Also who said that keeping a secret is haram? I've never heard of that rather betraying trust is haram and exposing sins is haram.
Given that she's not a Muslim anyway I don't see it as a big moral dilemma.

Just theirs and the reason is obvious- Is a woman not actively cheating on her husband to her kid's knowledge bothersome to you? and if it weren't bothersome then why are you writing about it? Surely even if you expose her you don't expect to babysit much longer after that anyway?

Salaam.

Maybe it's just my conscious telling me it's haram. It's like a secret which you want to tell someone but can't, it feels like well weird. I'm sure you've all felt this in some way or another.

Shouldn't we as Muslims treat Non-Muslims the same way? What if she was a Muslima, what makes her different?

Yes this is bothersome or I would be keeping it a secret from this board as well. So what? Just ignore the situation? I just can't help the fact knowing that if I were the Husband, I would like to know this.

 

[crimsontide06]

Ever thought to talk to YOUR parents about it?? Let adults handle it... Never be the one who tells the man his wife is cheating or he will hate you....for being the messenger.

 

[ardianto]

I don't think a 40 year old woman wants to do anything with an 18 year old.

There are many things about adult world that you don't know yet, young man. Just like sister harb, I very suggest you too to avoid to come to her home again.

 

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

I still advice you to be carefull in kind of situation. If you for example would tell this to hers husband, then that wife might as well claim it is not true but you tell something like because you have tried to seduce that woman to relation but she refuced. Hopely you know how unfaithfull and nasty some people might be when they try to survive from some troublesome situations.

If it feels too hard to keep kind of secret only with you, could you talk about it to some imam (without mention any names of course) and ask advice?

 

[Iceee]

Ever thought to talk to YOUR parents about it?? Let adults handle it... Never be the one who tells the man his wife is cheating or he will hate you....for being the messenger.

Hmm, might be a good idea since my Mom was the one that told me to go babysit there anyways. But you have to remember that this woman is one of my mom's friends.

 

[abcdcool2012]

online job

can you tell me brother which online job you do ? i would also like to do it :ia:

 

[Iceee]

Salam alaykum

I still advice you to be carefull in kind of situation. If you for example would tell this to hers husband, then that wife might as well claim it is not true but you tell something like because you have tried to seduce that woman to relation but she refuced. Hopely you know how unfaithfull and nasty some people might be when they try to survive from some troublesome situations.

If it feels too hard to keep kind of secret only with you, could you talk about it to some imam (without mention any names of course) and ask advice?

Salaam.

Seems like an awesome idea. Will do if this secret can't get out of my heart!

There are many things about adult world that you don't know yet, young man. Just like sister harb, I very suggest you too to avoid to come to her home again.

I'm guessing you're refering to a 40 year old woman and 18 year old man. Ew.

What do I tell my Mom who wants me to babysit her friends children?

 

[جوري]

Salaam.

Maybe it's just my conscious telling me it's haram. It's like a secret which you want to tell someone but can't, it feels like well weird. I'm sure you've all felt this in some way or another.

Shouldn't we as Muslims treat Non-Muslims the same way? What if she was a Muslima, what makes her different?

Yes this is bothersome or I would be keeping it a secret from this board as well. So what? Just ignore the situation? I just can't help the fact knowing that if I were the Husband, I would like to know this.

I have defined what the difference is: ليس بعد الكفر ذنب - there's no sin beyond Kufr. In the case of a Muslim is advise of tawbah AND still conceal her sin.

 

[Naeema]

I agree that this is not your family, not your problem to solve. However, I'm a bit concerned because this 10 year old has come to you as someone she trusts and shared something very scary.

She knows that this is something wrong and, for whatever reason, she told you rather than a teacher in school or another adult. (I know you are young, but to her, you are an adult.) Secrets like this can tear at the hearts of children, leaving them vulnerable to acting out in other, destructive ways, especially if they fester over time.

You might want to talk to a counselor in your area (someone at their school?) who can help the child through this difficult time.