I don't know what's a name for men like this. Their religion in ID cards is Islam, but they often miss salah, miss fasting, never pay zakah, and do not know anything about Islamic knowledge. However, when their wives found them have other wives, suddenly these "Muslims by ID cards" turn into "temporary scholars" and tell their wives : in Islam men are allowed to marry up to 4 wives, in Islam men do not need permission to marry new wives, in Islam, .... in Islam .... in Islam ....
Sadly, some of people like these are my friends.
Muslim men are allowed to marry up to 4 wives, and do not need permission to marry the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th wife. This is a privilege that given only to the male Muslims. But unfortunately this is the privilege that commonly misused by people who follow their lust. They made a statement "Islam allow men to marry more than wife, because men would not satisfied if marry only one woman. So, we should marry more than one wife or we will fall into zina" ..... Astaghfirullah ! they use Islam to legitimate their lusty behavior ! No wonder if in Hollywood movies Muslims usually described as sex maniac, beside terrorists.
Yes, Muslim males have this privilege, but unfortunately, many Muslim males who use this privilege forgot, behind every privilege there is a responsibility. Muslim males are allowed to marry up to 4 wives but must always fair. Now open your eyes and look around, count, how many 'polygamy men' who can fair to all of their wives and can make their wives always happy, and how many 'polygamy men' who unfair and their wives are unhappy ?. The first one are smaller in number than the second.
Okay, let me remind you the purpose of marriage. Scholars in my place said, the purpose of marriage is to build a family that Sakinah, Mawadah, wa Rahmah. No matter how many wives in the family.
Sakinah. Family live peacefully, and free from fear. The wife is not afraid to the husband, the husband is not afraid to the wife. The one does not impose the will on the other. Both parties respect each other, feel comfort and enjoy this marriage life.
Mawadah. Something that binds the husband and wife as a couple who love each other. The one always care to the other. Husband always makes the wife happy, the wife always makes the husband happy.
InshaAllah, if husband and wife can build Sakinah and Mawadah atmosphere between them, then Rahmah (bless) would comes to the family.
I have heard a true story from a wife who lives in polygamy marriage, together with 3 other wives. She's happy because her husband (who is Islamic teacher and success businessman) always fair to all wives in the family. The husband could build friendly atmosphere between all wives. Relationship between a wife and other wives is good, they respect each other.
That's the example of the right polygamy. A polygamy where the wives and the husband are happy to live in.
So, brothers, would you marry more than one wife in polygamy marriage ?. If you can build the Sakinah and Mawadah family like that man, go ahead.
But if marry more than one wife makes your wives live in fear, always afraid you will not fair, always afraid you will not love them anymore, .... don't marry more than one wife. If marry more than one wife makes you lose your love to the old wife, or makes your old wife lose her love to you, .... don't marry more than one wife. Because rahmah would not comes to you.
Now, without intention to show off. It's not difficult for me to marry more than one wife. I know how to get woman. But I would not do it.
My wife wish me, not to have another wife. My wife is a good wife who always serve me with the best service that she can give. She always try to make me happy. So, if my wife always want to make me happy, should I make her unhappy ?. That's why I never want to marry more than one woman although as Muslim male I am allowed to do it.
It's true, Muslim males are allowed to marry up to 4 wives. But not true if Muslim males are obligated to marry more than one wife.
