Lame Jokes

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I have read it bro. Thanks for the clarification.

There are a series of lame jokes about Turks here starting with "one day an Englishman, a German, a Frenchman and a Turk comes together"..and ends with either the foolness or the craftiness of the Turk ;D
 
A mosque wanted a new imaam and they sent out the job offer. Three men signed up so the board members of the mosque invited them to see which one was most qualified. The first went in and shortly after going in he comes out with a sad face. One of the other two candidates asks him "what happened?". He said "i went in and they asked me what my name was. So i said Ibrahim. They then asked me to recite Surah Ibrahim. Sadly i couldn't recite it. So they declined me to be their imaam". Shortly after hearing that the other candidate goes in and also he comes out within a few minutes. The candidate that asked the first candidate about the event happening inside asks also the second candidate "what happened?". So the second candidate says "I went inside and they asked me what my name was. So i said Muhammad. They asked me to recite surah Muhammad. I couldn't and because of that they declined me to be their imaam". Now the last candidate becomes very nervous and few minutes later goes in. The board members also with him ask him "What is your name?". He says "my name is Yaseen, but my mother calls me Al-Fil". :Emoji7:
 
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Paddy and Murphy are following some track in the snow. Paddy said, they are deer tracks, Murphy said no, they are wolf tracks. Then they got run over by the train.

A woman is filling her car up at the petrol station, and smoking a cigarette, suddenly her arm catches fire. Police officers nearby see this, they put the fire out and arrest her for waving a firearm.

:hiding:
 
Eric H said:
Paddy and Murphy are following some track in the snow. Paddy said, they are deer tracks, Murphy said no, they are wolf tracks. Then they got run over by the train.

A woman is filling her car up at the petrol station, and smoking a cigarette, suddenly her arm catches fire. Police officers nearby see this, they put the fire out and arrest her for waving a firearm.

:hiding:
Click to expand...

Brother, the lameness in these two jokes has reached another level ;D. But they were good.. i even had to think for a moment about the first one hahaha.
 
Ok, are you ready to sink even lower!

A fisherman is in his boat in the middle of a lake, and he stops for a smoke, but realizes he has no lighter. So he takes a cigarette out the packet and throws it in the lake, this makes the boat a cigarette lighter.

:hmm:
 
Eric H said:
Ok, are you ready to sink even lower!

A fisherman is in his boat in the middle of a lake, and he stops for a smoke, but realizes he has no lighter. So he takes a cigarette out the packet and throws it in the lake, this makes the boat a cigarette lighter.

:hmm:
Click to expand...

WOOOW..the lameness of that joke almost killed me. I was ready to jump off my balcony, but laziness prevented me from doing it.
 
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^ I was just thinking so - the lameness of those jokes breaks me. More more please.

:exhausted
 
A Muslim comes to the mosque to pray in congregation. So the prayer starts and the imaam starts reciting the Qur'an. After A LONG while finally the prayer ends. The man goes to the imaam and asks him which surah he recited. So the imaam says "it was surah Baqarah". The man thanks the imaam for the answer and goes home. The following day the man comes to the mosque again to pray congregation but decides to take no chances and before the prayer starts he goes to the imaam and asks him "what surah are you planning to recite?". So the imaam says "i am planning to recite surah Al-Fil". The man thanks the imaam and goes immediately out of the mosque, thinking if surah Baqarah (cow) took so long, well surah Al-Fil (elephant) will take even longer.
 
Ok, this is naughty.......

A vicar and rabbi were talking about bad morals, and the vicar said, just the other day I had my bicycle stolen.

That happened to me said the rabbi, so I gave a long sermon on the ten commandments and thou shall not steal, the next day the bike was outside my house.

Right said the vicar, I will give that a go. A few days later the rabbi sees the vicar on his bicycle, and the vicar said to the rabbi, I did as you said, I went through the ten commandments, and when I got to thou shall not commit adultery, I remembered where I had left it.

Whoops

:embarrass
 

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