Life problem...

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Ghost1987

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As Salam alaikum

Well it all started when I got married,...I married a man that prays and fasts but I myself was with I guess wasn't right I don't want to make excuses with my mental health I was also bipolar... moody while I was about to marry I had weird feeling in gut I know it was done the nikah in a halal way...but I just became major depressed on my wedding night...a month past and I figured out it just wasn't going to work out with depression
I couldn't take care of my husband's house chores...and day to day arguments of my husband I really loved my husband I really wanted to stay I didn't even want another husband other than him but it just didn't work out....I got divorced due to being so hard

I gave up praying and fasting due to marriage circumstances and mental health issues
Everytime I think of prayer I get depressed o am unable to stand for prayer I get tourretes that move me to side to side and basically I get tossed off my prayer mat...
I don't know what that is...my eyes also start rolling on by themselves....


I am just watching the days go by I don't really have anything much to live for anymore guess this life wasn't worth it

But I do hope I am saved from hell...
I
 
Basically I am asking for help tips for major depression just to remain calm

Thank you...:(
 
wa'alaikum as'salaam,

Depression and mental health issues can be caused due to medical issue, hormanal imbalance or invovlement of supernatural.
Tourette (too-RET) syndrome is a disorder that involves repetitive movements or unwanted sounds (tics) that can't be easily controlled. It seems like a medical issue and one possibly treatable, have you check with a medical professional on this?
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/tourette-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20350465

Regarding depression. if your chemical balance is in place and not medical related then it could be jinn related; although we can't blame everything on the jinns. But for now you could try reading this and see if it helps:

https://download-islamic-book.blogspot.com/2014/02/dont-be-sad-al-qarni.html
 
Salaam

Oh dear, I'm really sorry to hear what you have gone through sister :(

You must of had problems before but it seems to have manifested with the advent of your marriage. Your mindset and emotional well being was not what it should be when you begin a marriage. People need to stop thinking that if you have problems that marriage will automatically solve it (it depends on so many things the most obvious is getting the right person for you).

Let me tell you a story. I have a friend who had similar problems (he cant work properly for a start). He was going to get married back home and was unhappy with the match. Despite the pressure exerted on him he had the courage to say no which led to a major row with his family. He was put on 'probation' so to speak for a long time.

Eventually though he did manage to find someone who was right for him, hes very VERY fortunate. Shes rock solid, Very intelligent (you don't know what smart is until you meet someone like her), has a good job. Very responsible, honest and upfront. Shes been raised very well. Good looking to boot as well. (My wifes first reaction to seeing her picture narrowed her eyes and blurted out 'shes cute')

Doesn't mean its all sweetness and light. There is a price to be paid, she is very direct and domineering (her tongue is razorsharp) and has a bad temper. Shes prone to be very moody and she can be quite eccentric.

My friend for the longest time couldn't figure out why his marriage had problems but then he finally realised. They are similar to the problems you describe. His inability to work or look after himself properly. To sum it up hes not succeeded at the level she would expect.

Issues came to ahead when he came to my place fuming about the relentless criticism he receives from her. To some extent what he said was justified but after a while I got tired of his endless pity parade routine and gave him a brutal reality check. Bluntly told him she could of EASILY married far higher up the social ladder. Easily proved to him how much she genuinely cares about him (she is VERY attached to him, he is very soft, patient and understanding with her, hes emotionally intelligent and quite educated) and tired to convince him to see it from her perspective.

She cant help but expect him to be at the same level as her if not higher. Its a womans nature. She wants him to be manly and masculine. Despite all her tough talk she wants to slow down and for him to take the pressure of her and be more responsible for the upkeep of the family. Hes belatedly realized this lesson and is now trying to make amends, though habits of a lifetime are hard to break.

So getting back to the point, focus on the basics, focus on what you CAN do rather than what you cant. Take it from there and build yourself up. You've done well in beginning to identify where you went wrong and the problems you are responsible for. Your task now is to develop yourself so that you change the trajectory of your life. Where you take responsibility and become a fully fledged adult.

Self pity and excessive excuse making wont get you anywhere, trust me I know.
 
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Ghost1987 said:
As Salam alaikum


I couldn't take care of my husband's house chores...and day to day arguments of my husband I really loved my husband I really wanted to stay I didn't even want another husband other than him but it just didn't work out....I got divorced due to being so hard
Click to expand...
Assalam Alaikum sis
Don't feel guilty about being divorce.We are human not angles we do mistakes and learn from our mistakes. The one who doesn't learn from ones mistake is a loser. The only mistake which I feel you did you should have informed your husband about your mental health issues before marriage or even if you have informed him you should have seek some professional help to tackle your health issues.
One mistake you are doing now is crying over what is lost.Instead focus on what can be done now.After few years you will regret this too why I wasted my time on crying something which I can't get back.


Now you have learned hard realities of life that "Love is never unconditional in this world."People will love you respect you as long as you are beneficial to him."
So why not focus on Allah who is most beneficial and merciful.You will be rewarded by him for in the akhira for sure if not in this world.
To overcome your depression you can join some religious circle like who do dawah or learning Quran etc.It will help you keep your relationship with Allah strong and as well it help you overcome your depression.Along with you can seek help from some doctor.
Mayb Allah help you in these difficult times.
 
Jazakh Allaah Khair you all

I think I am driving off ramp with my aqeedah...and tawheed and and suffering love sickness in result....

Like you know loving something someone other than Allaah....

It was explained to me before on IB but I think I don't have the will power to be a true monotheist which is the cause of all my depression...

Like if your born from southeast Asia Indian subcontinent you can never be Muslim unless your up to date about what's going on ..

Like just to get married you have to commit major shirk!....

I think that's why I'm lamenting about love and marriages it's too much mushrik hinduistic culture and customs and celebration...
 
I think I am possessed by Satan seriously...

Satanic impulses

Even a spiritual healer told be it was Satan or caused by Satan weird things used to happen to me
Extreme waswasa and movements in my body beyond control...
 
Last raaqi I went to if I say... confirmed sihr black magic...on me


I experience religioun block a new symptom I noticed as well...as well as 10 other black magic symptoms....

I used to get weird taweez in Pakistan to cure the problem announcing it was black magic and jinn...

It's crazy...!
 
It's silent curses from Syria since it's oppressed
Maybe something happened in 2010 maybe not

Just judgement day signs...

Nothing else...

Pray for syrian children

Wars wars wars

Muslims dying

May Allaah help all the Muslims in war torn lands

Sorry just had to let it out
 
Iman fluctuates that is ok but loosing hope is not ok
There is nothing wrong if you want to vent out your feelings during tough times. People do suffer from depression but you need to have will power to get out of it.
Like I said focus more on your relationship with Allah you will get out of depression inshaAllah.

I didn't get that you need to commit shirk in order to get married.? Why so?

There are raqis who are doing ruqyah not according to sunnah method. You need to be careful.
 
Pure Purple said:
Iman fluctuates that is ok but loosing hope is not ok
There is nothing wrong if you want to vent out your feelings during tough times. People do suffer from depression but you need to have will power to get out of it.
Like I said focus more on your relationship with Allah you will get out of depression inshaAllah.

I didn't get that you need to commit shirk in order to get married.? Why so?

There are raqis who are doing ruqyah not according to sunnah method. You need to be careful.
Click to expand...

I have been to a raaqi in derby, algerian brother... very good...

very effective too... i saw the effects it had on someone I took.

reading certain passages from surah bakarah on a loudspeaker in a enclosed room to see the effects on the subjects behaviour..

what kind of stuff are raaqi's doing that isnt part of the sunnah?
[MENTION=48737]Ghost1987[/MENTION] do be careful of raaqi's and i suggest you do visit one if you can't do it yourself... as i mentioned, i have seen the effectiveness of ruqya, if its done properly and sincerely, a genuine diagnosis can be made, which shouldn't be ignored...

in regards to depression... ive been through some tough times, still going through them. it is hard and i do take everyday as it comes...
i take part in sporting activities and some charity work, visiting the sick (for reward and as a reminder that we should be grateful for what we have).... my career and my daily work routine has been my escape... because when im working and not working on my other life related stuff i.e. child contact case at family court or revisiting trauma from my marriage, i can forget about my circumstances for a while... until off course i'm alone again (after work, after prayers, after visiting masjid, after family meal etc).. issue is when i spend too much time alone... the thoughts and me contemplating the past just cant stay away from my thought process... its difficult to get over as im still engaged in some elements of it...

to counter it, i just keep praying, praying for a beatuiful patience and praying for miracles too.... dont ever give up hope... i've seen miracles and im certain miracles can happen again ... insh Allah...

if i was in your shoes and if i thought i was bipolar or had a mental health issue, i would consult a doctor too, they may prescribe medication or enroll you on some kind of group, if you're ok with that then thats fine, me ... i try to avoid medication

also not sure if you are self pitying... i used to engage in that a lot... i have now turned it around by countering it with thoughts of grateful ness, i don't blame anyone, i do blame myself for some mistakes and maybe my circimstances from childhood... its been a rough journey for me.... but Alhamdulillah... it could have been a lot worse....

keep praying sister and do not lose hope.... pray Allah swt guides us to improve our lives and makes us content and lifts any afflictions on us...

Do count your blessings sisters... where would you be without them?

Please remember me and my family in your duas.

Jazakallah Khair...
 
Thank you brother Imran for your advice, to help me think outside the box and not in black and white thinking...

Yes you are correct I should contemplate and be thankful.

Jazakh Allaah

I should never ask for pity from anyone it is not a quality of a believer....yeah... complaining

Thank you all
 
Assalam walikum warahmatullah e wa barakhatuhu,
There are difficulties in human life, but patience is also necessary and its enjoyment is something else. Be patient where there is no room for it. Because the enjoyment of meeting a river in the desert is not found in any other place. i only suggest that if you have Quran so please recite.and try to feel the ayah .go to the depth of what they mean. I guarantee you will find peace.
Jazaka Allah khairen
 
Ghost1987 said:
Basically I am asking for help tips for major depression just to remain calm
Click to expand...

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

Firstly - Please do not loose hope!

What has Allah azza wajal said in the Quran?

Surah Al Imran Verse 139: "Do not loose hope, nor be sad"

What do we learn from this? No matter what has happened, don't lose hope! Allah is giving us a chance to turn back to him, and remove all of our past sins.

Secondly - High recommend a beautiful supplication, please try to read regularly:



Dua_for_relief_of_Distress_and_Joy-1.png


Pronunciation: La ilaha illallahul-Azimul-Halim. La ilaha illallahu Rabbul-'Arshil-'Azim. La ilaha illallahu Rabbus-samawati, wa Rabbul-ardi, wa Rabbul-'Arshil- Karim.

Meaning: None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the Incomparably Great, the Compassionate. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the Rubb of the Mighty Throne. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the Rubb of the heavens, the Rubb of the earth, and the Rubb of the Honourable Throne.

Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/basics/way-of-life/dua-for-relief-of-distress-and-joy

May Allah grant you cure and protect us all.

Jazakallahu khairan,
DR
 
Ghost1987 said:
Thank you brother Imran for your advice, to help me think outside the box and not in black and white thinking...

Yes you are correct I should contemplate and be thankful.

Jazakh Allaah

I should never ask for pity from anyone it is not a quality of a believer....yeah... complaining

Thank you all
Click to expand...

Assalamualaikum

Go for a walk every day, try to have some pet, keep plants in home, travel to new places every week or have a holiday plan in other city or country once in 3-6 months. Sometimes simply sitting in the home will also cause depression.
 

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