:salamext:
Verily We have created man into toil and struggle. (Qur'an Surah Balad 90:4)
This life is supposed to be tough, and a trial from Allaah. Allaah test's people through different way's, but remember that Allaah doesn't overburden a person with what they can't bear. So realise that you're feeling's won't go to the extent where you feel that you can't bear it insha'Allaah. And if you stay patient and keep your trust in Allaah, Allaah will strengthen you insha'Allaah.
You have to first of all realise that not all men are like this, and moving on can be quicker for one person, compared to another. Some women get over a man quick, and some men can get over a woman quick. This depend's on how attatched the person is to the other.
You probably loved him alot, and that's why you feel lonely and sad. Whereas he felt that it was time to move on. One thing you have to realise though is that the past is the past, and the future is still ahead insha'Allaah.
It's natural to feel jealous, because he's moved on and you feel that your still holding on the past. But realise that if you keep holding on to this past, then you're going to find it hard to move forward. One key concept that you have to focus on is that the past can't be changed now, and no matter what you try to do - it will stay that way. But what you can do is to turn your head around, and tell yourself that you can walk forward insha'Allaah.
Sometime's it's better that the actual thing is over, instead of always feeling scared that the person will give up on you anyway. If you're in a situation like this, then you never know when the person will end it, but by them actually ending it - you kind of experience the shock, instead of being in that state of worry and confusion all the time.
One mistake that you shouldn't fall into is to try to contact him, because you're not related anymore. So try to remove any form of contact you have with him, by removing his number or anything which will persuade you to have contact. Because if you have his contact info. that urge can sometimes go on override, and lead to action. So by actually deleting his contact info. even if you get the urge - you won't have any way of forming a contact with him anyway.
Another big mistake that people fall into is that they try to get married again to show the other person that they don't feel hurt, and they try to act as if they've moved on too. The problem with this is that because the person has a bad intention from the beginning, this marriage isn't a proper commitment, but instead, a role play - which end's up breaking up early too. Especially because the intention wasn't good from the beginning, and the person who got married for the sake of showing off wasn't prepared to get involved whole heartedly within the new marriage, but they only did it to show off or to get back at their previous marriage partner.
You have the right to cry, and be sad. Don't try to force yourself to stop being emotional, because being emotional is a good thing. But this shouldn't be excessive to the extent that you want to get revenge. You shouldn't dwell on this for too long either, otherwise your mind will alway's be focusing on the past. And don't try to block your emotion's out completely, because this can lead to a hardened heart.
Remove the thought from your head that "there is only one love within someone's life" because there are many people who have moved on, right now it's hard to understand that. But insha'Allaah, with time and patience you will realise this.
And there is no gift better and vast (you may be given) than patience. [Sahih Bukhari]
Whatever happens, when someone is patient and says the dua that the Prophet - sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam - taught us, that person will be blessed with something better.
The Dua is as follows:
“Inna lillaahi wa inna Ilayhi raaji’oon. Allaahumma ‘jurnee fee museebatee, wakhluf lee khayrun minh.”
Umm Salamah - radi Allaahu ‘anha - the narrator of this dua, loved her husband very much. When he died, she states, “I was firm to say the dua, but I thought to myself, how could I get anything better then Abu Salamah? Allah answered my dua and I married the Messenger of Allah! And he is better then Abu Salamah.”
http://www.khutbah.com/index.php?type=5&id=644&language=8
Allaah Almighty know's best. Make continuous dua' sister, and Allaah will help you insha'Allaah, you're not alone - when you have Allaah Almighty on your side. We will keep you in our dua's too insha'Allaah.
Peace.
