Lo0o0o0oL!

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q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why i was doing an
autopsy

rofl

you will kill us!
 
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke
that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

... :ooh:... ;D
 
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

 
^ abdulsattar bhai I think you are in a mood for digging up old threads today innit?

Thanks for this one btw
 
Are we really that stupid?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:



On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.

Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.

On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a toboggan:
Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.

On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.

On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.

On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.

On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.

On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.

On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.

On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.

On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.

A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.

A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.

Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.

Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.

On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.

On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.

On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
Do not wash.

On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.

On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.

On a Frisbee:
Warning: may contain small parts.

In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

Directions for mosquito repellant:
Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.

On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.

On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.

On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.

On a washing machine inn a launderette:
No small children.

On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

On a push along lawn mower:
Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.

On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.

On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.
 
Assalaamu Alaaykum

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.

On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

^^^now all these i can never understand :-\

This was funny :-\ i mean why would anyone ever do that? :-\ though i wonder how that is even possible

On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.
 
Are we really that stupid? In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:


We can thank the increasingly litigious society (with special thanks to the US lawyers) for forcing companies to create these kind of ridiculous notices on their products.
 
Pєαяℓ σf Wιѕ∂σм ;1443872 said:
Assalaamu Alaaykum Quote Originally Posted by Woodrow View Post On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. Quote Originally Posted by Woodrow View Post On a bottle of baby lotion: Keep away from children. Quote Originally Posted by Woodrow View Post On a packet of cashew nut pieces: Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts. ^^^now all these i can never understand

"may contain nuts" = many americans are allergic to nuts, some have severe reactions that can be fatal if they consume nuts.

"baby lotion: keep away from children" = baby lotion bottles are normally placed near the reach of the children, and they could potentially open the bottle and ingest/consume the content.

Companies are forced to put these warnings because if those accidents really happen, they don't want to be held liable. Remember that in the US people sue for everything, and the ratio of lawyers in the US is easily the highest in the world, by far. In the 90s, there was a grandmother who successfully sued mcDonalds for million of dollars because she bought a hot cup of coffee, and the coffee spilled on her while she was drinking it while driving, causing her to suffer burn injury.
After that, mcDonals was forced to put the warning label: contain hot coffee, etc..
 
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