My dear brothers. I got occupied by my thoughts on this issue as well as other things due to which I couldn't reply. I thought that my last comment stating that I understood what you all said would end this thread but it didnt. It turned into a debate.
First: I request the mods to please DON'T remove this thread as I will go through it again and again. This will be way back when I get doubts again.
Second: thank you all for all of your replies. I know I promised each one who answered an individual thanks but....too many replies so I hope you all will forgive me if I'm unable to do so but I'm deeply thankful to all non the less. Allah knows.
Third: I was never my intention to cause fitnah or make other people have doubts. Never.
Fourth: it might have looked like I was going to leave Islam or something. If I leave Islam then go where? Christianity Judaism? Nope. Atheism? He'll no! My situation is best described as 'stuck'. Can't leave islam cause of the prophet (saw) but this thorn in my head is preventing me from diving whole heartedly into Islam. I'm going no where. And the spiritual schism is having all sorts of negative effects on me.
Fifth: Just try to understand this. Believing something, just because, is DANGEROUS! Thats why we have so many religions instead of one. If you dig deep and hard you'll eventually find the truth. But you must first dig.
Just look at the phenomenon of suicide bombing. These poor people were either coerced into this abominable act or they were brainwashed into it. If they were taught to question and use critical thinking they would NEVER agree to slaughteting innocents! We would never have this problem of terrorism! I know that 99% of it is due to a worldwide conspiracy against Islam so the elite can profit off peoples ignorance and sell more and more senseless war. But still. Part of it is also due to people's lack of questioning.
Following a commanders orders to murder unarmed women and children is dead wrong yet look at history. Genocides upon genocides carried out due to lack of thinking and reasoning and questioning.
Sixth: I am very very illiterate when it comes to matters regard Islamic knowledge. Hence I started this topic. I explained what happens if I go to a mosque. I did however have the pleasure of having an Islamic studies teacher when I was young, who told me that the only reason we are here in this world is so that we can give Allah (swt) one pathetic and small excuse which he can use to send us to paradise. And that's the image of Allah I have in my mind. A loving diety who's love is uncomprehensible and mercy boundless.
Last: I stopped praying cause I felt that praying which such doubts about Islam in my heart would make it void and worthless. I would always ask for guidance in my prayers but since I thought of myself as a non believer I didn't think and still tosto some extent thjnk that my prayers will not be considered in his grace cause of these doubts.
If you know of any duas or wazaif specially for people like me who want guidance please lemme know.
Salaam and regards.
First: I request the mods to please DON'T remove this thread as I will go through it again and again. This will be way back when I get doubts again.
Second: thank you all for all of your replies. I know I promised each one who answered an individual thanks but....too many replies so I hope you all will forgive me if I'm unable to do so but I'm deeply thankful to all non the less. Allah knows.
Third: I was never my intention to cause fitnah or make other people have doubts. Never.
Fourth: it might have looked like I was going to leave Islam or something. If I leave Islam then go where? Christianity Judaism? Nope. Atheism? He'll no! My situation is best described as 'stuck'. Can't leave islam cause of the prophet (saw) but this thorn in my head is preventing me from diving whole heartedly into Islam. I'm going no where. And the spiritual schism is having all sorts of negative effects on me.
Fifth: Just try to understand this. Believing something, just because, is DANGEROUS! Thats why we have so many religions instead of one. If you dig deep and hard you'll eventually find the truth. But you must first dig.
Just look at the phenomenon of suicide bombing. These poor people were either coerced into this abominable act or they were brainwashed into it. If they were taught to question and use critical thinking they would NEVER agree to slaughteting innocents! We would never have this problem of terrorism! I know that 99% of it is due to a worldwide conspiracy against Islam so the elite can profit off peoples ignorance and sell more and more senseless war. But still. Part of it is also due to people's lack of questioning.
Following a commanders orders to murder unarmed women and children is dead wrong yet look at history. Genocides upon genocides carried out due to lack of thinking and reasoning and questioning.
Sixth: I am very very illiterate when it comes to matters regard Islamic knowledge. Hence I started this topic. I explained what happens if I go to a mosque. I did however have the pleasure of having an Islamic studies teacher when I was young, who told me that the only reason we are here in this world is so that we can give Allah (swt) one pathetic and small excuse which he can use to send us to paradise. And that's the image of Allah I have in my mind. A loving diety who's love is uncomprehensible and mercy boundless.
Last: I stopped praying cause I felt that praying which such doubts about Islam in my heart would make it void and worthless. I would always ask for guidance in my prayers but since I thought of myself as a non believer I didn't think and still tosto some extent thjnk that my prayers will not be considered in his grace cause of these doubts.
If you know of any duas or wazaif specially for people like me who want guidance please lemme know.
Salaam and regards.
