love , sin, but being me

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Lisa921

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I cannot help who I love . I fell for a christian man and I want to marry him and have his child. He is the first man to accept me completely as I am. That is what I understand to be the most important thing in love.
I have had Muslim marriages but the were horribly in passionate and I was not attracted because we were too different. The was no acceptance.
I love this man and I believe he will treat me the best of any man ever had.
I do not believe in fairy tales about the perfect Muslim man anymore. I don't think there is one. I don't think he would be perfect for me because I know what I was raised in and I know what I want.
I'm planning my wedding with a Christian . I don't care what judgements I get. He is the only one in earth for me.
All I ask is for your prayers and consideration please
Blessings
 
:sl:


sis , you are right - there is no perfect muslim man anymore and there is no perfect muslim woman either .

A ' perfect' Christian man can give u happiness only in this temporary world , but what about your eternal world ? Want to buy temporary happiness in exchange of eternal peace ?

It's better if u remain unmarried for the rest of your life but pl. don't destroy your life hereafter . Ask Allah to strengthen your faith .
 
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Nobody knows when someone truly accepts islam and whether they have already in their heart and just don't practise so hence muslims but sinners like everyone else.
So this man whom means so much to me because he makes me want to work hard on myself and be a godly woman, might actually accept islam at any time and its not for me to judge him for what he does or doesn't know.
A wife should guide her husband and vice versa.
So no matter what his stage of iman, I will be there for him as I should because Allah did bring him into my life for a reason.
and its not all about this world...
 
Lisa921 said:
I'm planning my wedding with a Christian . I don't care what judgements I get.
Click to expand...

That means you don't care about Allah's judgement either? A muslim woman's "marriage" with a non-Muslim man, is not valid, isn't recognised in Islam. As such, even though you may go through a wedding ceremony or nikah, if he is a christian and you know you are marrying a christian, that marriage is invalid in Islam, and you will be considered as comitting zinaa, and any children will be considered born out of wedlock ie illegitimate.

Depends on whether your love is greater for your Lord or for a christian man.

What does your wali say about this? You will need a wali, and if you don't have a Muslim male relative, you need to speak to the imam of the nearest mosque at the very least. Perhaps he can give da'wah to the man and he will become Muslim. Even then it is advised to wait and make sure that he hasn't just coverted for marriage, but is actually serious about the deen.

Do not, in desperation for love and marriage, go for anyone that just seems to care, and lose your whole aakhirah in the process. Not long ago, you said there was a man in Saudi Arabia. Now suddenly this. This is very worrying, very concerning, and very wrong, and we hope you will see sense soon.

After alcohol and anger, falling in "love" is one of the things that can completely cloud a person's judgement, and you end up with nobody looking out for you, protecting you, steering you away from wrong, not even yourself, because your judgement is already clouded by this emotion you feel. This is why having a wali is so important.

You then end up convincing yourself that he wants to help you become more religious, that you can never meet anyone that will care for you and treat you as nicely as he does, that you'll be doing a good deed by helping to guide him, and that God sent him to you for a reason, that you should marry him. You then convince yourself, that this sin, is actually a good deed, and anyone that advises you to the contrary doesnt understand or wants to be a hindrance in some way.

May God save you from going down any wrong path, ameen.
 
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This is an easy fix, if the man truly loves you, he will convert to Islam for you. Is he of the same race as you? Are you both Anglo Saxon Canadians? This is important because Whites have been known to use Asian females as a sex pet and discard them when they are tired of them as they only treat their own race as a serious partner. Of course this is not always the case.
 
:sl:

And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you.


Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, veses, lessons, signsr, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember.
(سورة البقرة, Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #221)
 
Actually Karl I'm white and he's white.
I cannot find a white convert where I live. I'm not attracted to ethnic guys because far too many of them treat me like an object. They.See wwhite wives as a prize. That's why I attracted to well rounded white men from Christianity and my parents would accept him more for reasons previously stated.
Its not about desperation. I'm not in no hurry dear. I have many options but I think following my heart is important as well as my head. I think he would convert to. He is openinded and smart thankfully
 
He's also from the south in USA. So more serious about faith then the more liberal countries. Another reason I like him.
 
Karl if you a suggestipn for making dawah to him please share. I'm seriously going to start doing that now and might mail him some books to america.
I want the best for us so we can be halal because I do think we are amazing in all aspects of a relationship or would be because there s respect understanding and tolerance from day one
 
Salam alaykum

Dear sister, I wish you lucky in your life. Please be carefull and try to understand our concern in this matter. We love you as our sister in Islam and we can only pray that your decisions don´t hurt you, in this life or in the hereafter.

I make dua that your fiance will find this wonderful path called Islam too.

Live happy life in halal way. :statisfie

(Hopely that was enough diplomatically said. :D )
 
Lisa921 said:
I have had Muslim marriages but the were horribly in passionate and I was not attracted because we were too different. The was no acceptance.
Click to expand...

Sounds to me like you have picked some not too great men in the past.
It is always good to learn from past mistakes.
Perhaps the failure was not in the fact that they were Muslim, but - perhaps - you did not get to know them truly?
Just wondering.
 
Lisa921 said:
Actually Karl I'm white and he's white.
I cannot find a white convert where I live. I'm not attracted to ethnic guys because far too many of them treat me like an object. They.See wwhite wives as a prize. That's why I attracted to well rounded white men from Christianity and my parents would accept him more for reasons previously stated.
Its not about desperation. I'm not in no hurry dear. I have many options but I think following my heart is important as well as my head. I think he would convert to. He is openinded and smart thankfully
Click to expand...

Ok then I can't see too much of a problem. All he has to do is convert to Islam by saying the magic words that's all. You can explain that it is a covenant with God. There is nothing anti Christian about it, Jesus is still believed to be the Messiah. You could explain that Islam is a reformation of Christianity, an update if you like. He doesn't have to go to a mosque or church, to Allah they are no better than a pile of stones and tokens of peoples vanity and pride. The word is all that matters.
 
Jazak Allah khayr for your duas sister herb, and to karl for your advice!
This is really nice.
I have started to talk to him about islam and he wants to know about it. Alhamdulillah. make dua that this trend continues and he is guided soon.
May Allah give us all a good end.
AMeen
lisa
 
:sl:

Sister Lisa, please please do not marry him unless he converts and accepts Islam. Allah subhana wa ta'alaa has made rules about who we can and who we cannot marry for very good reasons. To be clear, we must observe them or face punishment. Please try to fight of this feeling of 'love' - it is only infatuation and a sign that Shaytaan is at work. You are doing the right thing in making dawah - if he truly cares for you he will convert otherwise you must find the strength to forget about him. Although you have been unfortunate in the past, there are many lovely Muslim brothers out there.
 
Karl said:
He doesn't have to go to a mosque or church, to Allah they are no better than a pile of stones and tokens of peoples vanity and pride.
Click to expand...

Karl, please be careful what you say about Allah, without providing any evidence.

A mosque is the best of places. It is more blessed and virtuous than all other places. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The most beloved of places to Allah is the mosque, and the most detested of places to Allah is the marketplace.” [Sahîh Muslim]

There is great reward in building a mosque for Allah’s sake. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever builds a mosque for Allah, Allah will build for him likewise in Paradise.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]

In some narrations of this hadith, it reads “Whoever builds a mosque seeking Allah’s pleasure…”

It is also narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever build a mosque for Allah – be it large or small – Allah will build for him a house in Paradise.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî – and graded as good (hasan) by al-Albânî]

In a narration in Musnad al-Bazzâr that al-Albânî graded as authentic, it reads: “Whoever builds a mosque for Allah – though it be the size of the ground nest of a sandgrouse – Allah will build for him a house in Paradise.”

The building of a mosque is a way for a person to continue to earn blessings after death.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Among what continues to accrue for a believer of his good works after death are the following: knowledge that he learned and then imparted to others, a pious child whom he left behind, a copy of the Qur’ân that he bequeathed, a mosque that he built, a guest house he built for travelers, a river that he made to flow, and charity he spends from his wealth when he is in good health – all of this continues to avail him after his death.” [Sunan Ibn Majah and Sunan al-Bayhaqî – and graded as good (hasan) by al-Albânî]

Al-Shawkânî comments on this hadîth in Nayl al-Awtâr (2/213), saying: “This shows that the blessings which are mentioned are for the actual construction of a mosque. It is not enough to designate land as a mosque – or to demarcate the land in some way – without building a structure on it.”

And Allah knows best.

http://en.islamtoday.net/node/707
 
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