Love

[Karina]

What does the Qur'an and Islam say about "love"?

Please elaborate as much as you can.... :sunny:

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

In the Qur'an, the love between spouses is mentioned as one of the Signs of God. The verse:

{And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.}[30:21]

You can read more on the Islamic perspective of love in detail here:

http://www.islamicboard.com/miscellaneous/1947-fiqh-love.html
http://islamicink.wordpress.com/2007/03/01/verily-i-was-filled-with-love-for-her/

 

[true believer]

salam sister!
i'm not sure but i know
dat when choosing a partner, Allah
wants us to go for deen and character.
plus u have to be attracted to da person in da
first place and u will grow to love them through time.

 

[Karina]

^^^ Thanks! That makes sense to me. Plus, I know that I already have the person I will spend my life with....:statisfie :statisfie

Ibn Hazm's advice:

1. Confess. Say 'I love you' once in a while. Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "If someone loves his brother fi sabi lillah, then he should tell them." If this is the case between two people who have no relationship with one another, imagine how much more important it would be for people with a high level of intimacy.

2. Correspondence. Men should write letters for their wives - if you travel, send a postcard, be sincere don't do it over and over again. Men are sometimes not very intelligent in choosing. Just a sincere gift for a woman feels like a million dollars to her. People need to be trained on how to react to gifts, etc.

3. Showing mutual obedience and full respect: if you don't respect them, you can't expect them to respect you.

4. Acts of amusement: some think it's immoral to play at home- but Rasulullah would chase A'isha at home. one time she was raising her voice and Abu Bakr was about to come in and beat her, but Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) started to protect her and she hid behind him. After Abu Bakr left, the Prophet turned around, and when he saw that A'isha was still upset, he said, "Didn't I save you from your father?"

4. What harms love?

1. Exploitation of his/her affections of love: if you know they love you, and you use it to bribe them that will fire back at you with hatred because people don't like to be used or exploited.

2. Acts of disrespect: slandering- people that like to create fitnah out of jealousy animosity and ignorance.

3. Infidelity and betrayal:

4. Long and unnecessary separation: if this gap isn't' filled with intense communication, then you're losing a lot. (The TV and computer could ruin your life and your love.)

5. Sex, passions, and love: are they synonymous?

No they are not. Men usually interpret love as sex, but women think of empathy and sympathy. They would like to see love as sympathy (from men).

*Take the broader meaning of love.*

I kind of agree with all this! Well apart from no.5 - I think that men and women have just a little variation on these tendancies!

However:

1. The most rehearsed love story in history

Romeo and Juliet

2. From the story of "Romeo and Juliet"

Romeo and Juliet- they never got married! They would have probably gotten divorced. Their love was never put to the test (marriage) and nor did they do it for the Sake of Allah (they committed suicide, etc).

Ok well just as an example, it may also be frowned upon in other cultures to marry more than one wife! Married or unmarried, the story epitimises tragic love between two young "star crossed lovers" ..... and anyway - it's fictional! It had many many lessons for us to learn, and is a work of literary genius! Shakespere helped shape the English Language!

3. Infidelity in the western family life

Many people cheat behind the backs of their spouses. The whole article in one magazine was all about infidelity in marriage - Why do housewives cheat?: Boredom, looking for adventure, hating spouse, lack of knowledge. And the stereotype for married people is people are now trying to get out of marriage. One bumper sticker said: Attention: Driver does not carry cash, he's married. Websites on the internet were designed to help people cheat and get away with it. Why do so-called love stories not last longer?

Many people cheat behind the backs of their spouses? How many is "many"? No-one I know cheats. Not because of the fear and wrath of God but because it's morally and emotionally wrong and unproductive. I'm not saying no-one is unfaithful but acutally, "westerners" are not as bad as this writer seems to be making out! Most of us actually get married and stay faithful to the end. And wouldn't think of doing anything else.

"Why do housewives cheat?" umm, well I don't know, but obviously their husbands don't as they seem to be exempt from mention here?

OH Yes, i forgot, the streotype for married people is that they're "trying to get out of marriage". I'm not entirely sure where this information has materialised from, but I have news!: In the real "western" world, most married couples actually just work hard at what they're doing, they love each other very much and they get through the bad times in sheer dedication for each other.

4. Muslims at the door step of the western version of Marriage, why?

Muslims are now following the same steps: like pre-marriage relationships (we probably know people who are dating in good fate, to get married eventually- and they consume their emotions and love during those years so when they plan for marriage, they find problems with one another and so they break it off).

Yes, all Western marriages are like this - ask all the happily married couples who are celebrating forty or fifty years together.
What? People actually get married for more than a year in the west????
But that never happens on TV?!
OMG, You mean that statistics are notoriously inacurate and we really shouldn't take as much notice? !! :uuh:

Household responsibilities: people are now switching roles and women are working etc. It's creating problems between the wife and husband, as well as domestic discord. Divorce rates are going up. Out of the top 10 countries known for divorce, the U.S, and only one Muslim country (Turkey) was found. The highest rate was in a European country, because the government supports you more if you're divorced (they still live together, but cheat the government.) Here, there is a 46% rate of divorce. So-called love stories end up with divorce here in America.

mmm, again, we seem to be hanging on the every word of the so-called statisitical announcements. Have you ever wondered how and where this information comes from? Is it really accurate?
And in which European countries do we "cheat the government" by seperating but living together?
This just seems like a slur against "western" lives to bring about resentment - am I wrong?
Sources of information are always essential in a piece like this, surely.