Marriage Difficulties

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lonely Gal
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Lonely Gal said:
yes i feel as if i have.. even tho more prob can be done..
but not connectin is a big issue
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asalam alaikum wr wb

Not connecting is the biggest issue. I can't stress enough the importance of compatibility as that is what makes a marriage flow smoothly and helps it to get through the tough times.

It seems as if you're hubby is the passive one, whereas you like a man to be a bit assertive and independant. He can change but he will need a lot of help and mainly professional help. However I guess it's not fair to change a person to suit oneself. How would that person feel not being accepted as they are. In the end it will grind them down.

You can still make the marriage work by persevering and doing your best, or you can choose to get divorced. May Allah help you both inshaAllah. Ameen.


wa alaikum asalam wr wb.
 
Lonely Gal said:
i just feel as we have become stuck into a routine so early, and there's nthing between us,
I don't satisfy him, there is no romance in our lives and knowing that, he deserves someone better, and I wish I could say that but its not poss.
Divorce would lead me no where.. My entire generation would hate me, half already do.
he hasn't hurt me, but sometimes i feel there is something else going on with him and a family relative.. how do i get this doubt out of my head..
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:sl:

You will never be able to please people so don't worry about what people say. If there is something about you that people like then there will always be something about you that which they dislike.

I can't say much about your situation because if I was to say you should get a divorce then it may cause harm to your family because we do not know your full situation. If I say that you should stay together then you might end up being miserable for many years (which may be the case for many who have arranged marriages).

Ask advice from someone who has the knowledge to give you the right naseehah. And finally, if Allah put you in this situation then He knows that you can get through it. Make a decision, seek help from Allah and put you're trust in Him and forget about what people say.
 
:salamext:

Have u got friends u can hang out with? To take ur minds of things and advise u?
 
I'm a closed book really, i have one good friend and she is away and got her problems to deal with, i dnt wana b burden on her.. i no i wont cos am her mate but dnt wana b any trouble.. don't trust others enough to tell em.. I don't enjoy spending time with people..
ive cuts most ties.. jus be alone.. all alone..
 
family think im not trying but no1 is in my shoes.. its affected my relationship with my mum and me.. id rather not be around her cos wen i am i can feel the tension she is feeling.. and hw disappointed she is in me..
my sisters sed harsh words that will stay will me all my life, something that will never be forgotten and there eating me up..
 
^ ur situations not that bad Alhamdulillaah!

i think you should be more optimistic to be honest.

you said you cannot see no light yet Allah says that for those who trust in him and sacrifice for him and do good deeds, he will provide ways out that they couldnt imagine!

so place your trust in Allaah, attempt to rectify the communication problems, talk to him... and if all fails then consult an imaam.

Dont worry too much and DO NOT waste your life over what others think. Worry about what Allaah thinks, and do what will make it easiest for you to enter jannah...
 
when there is no ounce of happines..u dnt feel like doin anything.. not even gettin up and dresed..
 
am not a positive person, i give great advise to others.. but dont take me own...
 
:salamext:

Taking ur own advice might be a start inshaAllaah

Think if u were giving advice to someone else, wot wud u advise them if they were in ur shoes?

and do that.
 
you need to be stronger sis.

just try not to care about what comes about in this world and do whats right. Be Bold and speak up!

i hope you get whats best for you...


inshaAllah
 

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