marriage dilemma

[muslim1500]

I'm 24 years old. I'm so down. I want to get married but nobody has asked about me. I had 2 proposals in the past but that was back when i was 19 and still in college. I never sat with them. I got one 6 months ago, sat with him, but I declined him. He wasn't my type at all. He's now engaged to one of my cousins. He saw a pic of me on instagram that's how he noticed. Since then no one has asked. Another cousin of mine just got engaged and I'm sitting here growing old. Nobody is going to marry me. How is anyone going to notice me if my parents don't go anywhere? We don't have arab friends, we don't go to weddings or anything. My cousins they go to parties, their parents have many arab friends that;s how they get noticed. When I hear so and so got engaged it angers me. I'm not ugly, people mistake me for 15. You know what makes it worse is when you have family members telling you you're getting old and nobody will take me once i hit 25. These days they're looking for girls 17-22.imsad

 

[muslim1500]

I don't get it. is something wrong with me? Am i destined to be alone for the rest of my life? Please don't tell me to make duas because I try and try nothing. Is Allah upset with me? I can't take living at home anymore I've had about enough of my parents on my case. My father is pushing me to take his nephews I don't want anything to do with his estranged family. He doesn't even talk to his brothers and sisters because they're cheap, backbiters and greedy, but he wants me one of their sons. They're all the way in Amman. I live in the U.S.. I tell him no for the hundredth time.

 

[Lisa921]

assalamu alaykum sis
don't worry things could be worse...try to live happily with your family and love and cherish them. If you mom is working in the home offer to help before she asks you for help or demands it of you. be proactive at home. maybe if you help take care of the home for your mom then she will have more time to go out with friends and potentially meet your future spouse. I'm not implying that you don't help out but I'm saying this weither or not you do because it would be a good strategy to fix the problem. Also, if you want to marry then you will have the same pressures or more from your husband insha allah. Because you will be in charge of taking care of the marital home and children, obeying him, loving and honoring him etc..
Just try to be happy with what Allah has given you always sis Things will not change until you make changes yourself...
May Allah find you a righteous spouse. Ameen

 

[muslim1500]

assalamu alaykum sis
don't worry things could be worse...try to live happily with your family and love and cherish them. If you mom is working in the home offer to help before she asks you for help or demands it of you. be proactive at home. maybe if you help take care of the home for your mom then she will have more time to go out with friends and potentially meet your future spouse. I'm not implying that you don't help out but I'm saying this weither or not you do because it would be a good strategy to fix the problem. Also, if you want to marry then you will have the same pressures or more from your husband insha allah. Because you will be in charge of taking care of the marital home and children, obeying him, loving and honoring him etc..
Just try to be happy with what Allah has given you always sis Things will not change until you make changes yourself...
May Allah find you a righteous spouse. Ameen

That's the problem she has too much free time. My sister and I do all the cleaning. The house is done by noon. The rest of the day she sits on the tv. We tell her to go out but she refuses. We tell her lets go visit your family she refuses. They live 2 hrs away. Same with my father his sister lives 15 min away and we only see her once a year. She just came back from Amman a week ago and we haven't seen her yet. My parents don't involve with the muslim community. We are to ourselves. Nobody sees us.

 

[BeTheChange]

Asalamualykum,

You know you don't have to wait for your parents to bring the topic up and you don't have to wait for a proposol.

If you, your friends, your family or anyone you trust finds someone suitable you can approach them with a mehram.

If your living in a remote area with no Muslim community, you can ask your relatives or cousins to look for you (who live in a Muslim community).

If there is no other option i would recommend using the internet. However approach and use the net with great caution.

Maybe ask a mehram to help you?

Also, ensure your parents are fully aware and agree with whichever appraoch you take.

Never lose hope and whilst your single utilise your time!

May Allah swt help you on your journey Ameen.