Marriage in Islam

[Lukqman]

Assalaam Alaikum

Several weeks ago I read a thread from a brother who had a sincere question about marriage in Islam. He was a chaste brother seeking a chaste women because he believed it is what was commanded from Allah in the Quran (I forgot the specific ayat he mentioned). He was asking how could he come to know if a women he would like to marry is chaste or not (Whether he should ask her directly or is their a more appropriate means).

As I read the replies, they were mostly negative stating that he should not worry about it. Some sisters even went on to say that he read the quoted passage out of context and most women would prefer a man with experience.

I on the other hand also believed what the brother said was true because I remember coming to the same conclusion as I read the Quran. At the time I could not reply because I was unsuccessful at finding the provable ayat. However, I've just recently came across it and it states:

"Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the believers such a thing is forbidden." (24:3)

Translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali

The arabic word used within this passage was "Zina," which upon research using several sources means: extramarital sex and premarital sex. Within the footnotes of Abullah Yusuf Ali he states: "Zina includes sexual intercourse between a man and a woman not married to each other. It therefore applies both to adultery...and fornication..."

What surprised me was their was not a reply that I've read that answered his question but rather people who denounced his belief. Myself being a recent revert to Islam who have made wrong choices in my past have accepted, to the best of my understanding, that as someone who has fornicated in my past before I accepted Islam and read the Quran I must marry a women who has a similar past that is now a revert to Islam (An unbeliever is not an option for me).

My reason for bringing this thread back up was to hear others views on this topic and if their may be anything that I may be misunderstanding, I'd like someone to clarify it for me.

Thanks in advance

 

[~Zaria~]

Question

If one commits zina, can he only marry a spouse who has also committed the same sin?
How would one find such a spouse? One can't exactly just put a post in a newspaper... What is the hikmah here?

Disobeying Allah (SWT) again after such a disobedience is out of the question. What should one do here?

JazakAllah Khairan... sorry for having to expose you to this brother.
Answer


Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Zina is an evil deed and from amongst the major sins. A person who has committed zina should sincerely repent to Allah and resolve never to repeat this sin.

The Mercy of Allah is vast and if a person is sincere in his repentance, Insha-Allah, his repentance will be accepted and he will be forgiven.

A person who has committed adultery in the past, male or female, but is remorseful and repentant, can marry a chaste and virtuous spouse. He does not have to marry someone who has also committed the same sin. [ii] [iii] [iv]

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Sohail ibn Arif,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/22527

Question


Alhumduliah i am a recent convert to islam. And i have many questions. Before i converted, i was in a relationship with a muslim man, i unfortantly lost my virginity to him, but luckily he taught me islam. After i converted i did not have intercourse with him but unfortantly did engage in oral once in which we both regreted. And because of this we have cut communication.

My question as 1) am i still considered a virgin like islamically, since i have not had intercourse since i converted. 2) will i have to tell any future potential husban about my acts before islam? I'm scared to him because deep down i regret all of this and dont even want to talk about it. I really need advice, and i am too ashamed to speak to anyone about this. Is there any hadith about a woman who wasnt pure and embraced islam. 3)what should i do now? as far as asking Allah for forgivness? Please help.


Answer


In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful


Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh


We acknowledge receipt of your enquiries and the response follows hereunder:


Sister in Islam, it gives us pleasure to receive your question and to see how Muslim converts are interested in knowing the teachings of Islam, which Allah Ta’ala has chosen for His servants as a way of life. According to the Qur’an, a true Muslim should refer to scholars to become well acquainted with the sound image of Islam.


We congratulate you on becoming a Muslim, and we hope you understand the tolerant and latitudinarian teachings of Islam which Allah Ta’ala revealed to guide mankind.


(1) “Islam teaches us that when a person embraces Islam all of his past sins are blotted out, and as such, he/she starts with a clean slate. While his/her past sins are completely forgiven, all of his good works, however, will be carried over to Islam, and thus, he will be fully rewarded for them. This clearly shows Allah’s infinite mercy and generosity towards new Muslims.

Allah Ta’ala states in the Holy Qur’aan:

قُلْ يَاعِبَادِي الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللهِ إِنَّ اللهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ​

“O My Servants who have wronged their souls! Do not despair of Allah’s mercy. For Allah certainly forgives all sins.” [Surah Az-Zumar: Verse 53]
​

The Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) said, “Islam wipes out all the past sins of a person.” Once a person asked the Prophet (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam), “In my past life (as a non-Muslim) I was guilty of many a trespasses and acts of lewdness; would I be forgiven?” He said, “Didn’t you know that Islam wipes out the past?”


It is recorded that 'Amr ibn Al-'Aas (Radhiyallaahu ‘anhu) once said: "When Islam had taken root in my heart I went to the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) and said: 'Spread out your hand so that I may take pledge.' He thrust forward his right hand and I held it in mine (without taking the oath). He (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) asked, 'What's the matter with you 'Amr?' I said, 'Well. I would like to make it conditional.' 'And what's the condition?' he asked. I said, 'That I be forgiven.' He (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) said, 'Don't you know 'Amr that Islam wipes out previous sins... that hijrah wipes out previous sins... and that Hajj wipes out previous sins?' [Hadeeth in Sahih Muslim- narrated By Amr Ibn ‘Aas]


Ibn 'Abbas (Radhiyallaahu ‘anhuma) said; that some people of the pagans had committed many murders and had indulged in excessive adultery in the days of ignorance [that is prior to the appearance of the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam)]. They came to the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) and said: 'What you offer, and call us to is quite appealing. But if you could only let us know if there is the possibility of atonement for our previous sins'. Allah, glorified be He, and then revealed the verse:

وَالَّذِينَ لاَ يَدْعُونَ مَعَ اللَّهِ إِلَـهَا ءَاخَرَ وَلاَ يَقْتُلُونَ النَّفْسَ الَّتِى حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلاَّ بِالْحَقِّ وَلاَ يَزْنُونَ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَاماً​

"(The true servants of Allah are those) who do not call upon another god with Allah, who do not slay the soul Allah has forbidden, save by right, and do not adulterate. And whosoever does that, he shall surely meet the price of sin." [Surah Al-Furqan: verse 68].


​

قُلْ يعِبَادِىَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُواْ عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ لاَ تَقْنَطُواْ مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ​

Allah also revealed: "Tell them, O My slaves who have wronged their souls: 'Do not despair of Allah's mercy.'(Surah Al-Zumar: verse 53). ​

[Hadeeth from Sahih Muslim- Abu Dawood- Narrated by Ibn Abbas, recorded in Tafseer Ibn Katheer]​

Now let us come to the core issue: Should you disclose your past sins to your future spouse? The answer is definitely no. Since Allah has covered a person’s sins, it is not anyone’s business to seek to lift Allah’s cover of confidentiality. Thus it is unbecoming of anyone to probe into someone’s sinful past, especially one’s life before Islam.

Islam teaches us that no matter how ugly is a person’s past before Islam, it must never be used against him and her. If anyone does that, he is forgetting the fact that a new Muslim is like a newborn. It is also worth remembering that most of the great Companions of the Prophet (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam), had highly sinful pasts, and yet, no one found faults with them for the same. Whoever intends getting marrieg to you will know you are a revert and you have a past.

After having said this, however, one must make a definite exception to the above rule. If someone is suffering from contagious diseases (such as being HIV-positive or afflicted with AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases, etc.), it is incumbent upon him/her to disclose it to the prospective spouse [without adding details of one’s past sex life]. Failure to do so is a most heinous offense, as it may most likely expose the prospective spouse to unnecessary harm, which is not tolerated in Islam.”


(2) Yes; there are many such incidence, where women after embracing Islam took a pledgein leaving out all their sinful acts in the time of ignorance such as subsequent to the treaty of Hudaibiyyah, the believing women took pledge on the honorable on the hand of Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam).
The qur’aan clearly admonishes that:

يأَيُّهَا النَّبِىُّ إِذَا جَآءَكَ الْمُؤْمِنَـتُ يُبَايِعْنَكَ عَلَى أَن لاَّ يُشْرِكْنَ بِاللَّهِ شَيْئاً وَلاَ يَسْرِقْنَ وَلاَ يَزْنِينَ وَلاَ يَقْتُلْنَ أَوْلْـدَهُنَّ وَلاَ يَأْتِينَ بِبُهُتَـنٍ يَفْتَرِينَهُ بَيْنَ أَيْدِيهِنَّ وَأَرْجُلِهِنَّ وَلاَ يَعْصِينَكَ فِى مَعْرُوفٍ فَبَايِعْهُنَّ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُنَّ اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ​

Oh Prophet! When the believing women come to you pledging to you that they will not associate anything with Allah, and that they will not steal, and that they will not commit Zina, and that they will not kill their children, and that they will not utter slander, fabricating from between their hands and their feet, and that they will not disobey you in Ma`ruf (good) [Surah Mumtahinah: verse 12 –as recorded in Tafseer ibn Katheer]



(3) "Islam also admonishes that the doors of Allah’s mercy are wide open for all sinners, provided they are willing to return to Allah in sincere repentance and respond to Allah’s call. In light of the above, we can certainly hope that the Merciful Lord forgives our sins. But one must never take the issue of repentance lightly. It is not simply saying, O Allah, forgive me. Rather, one must first feel deep remorse for the sin, refrain from all associations that led to the same, resolving never to do it again, and finally occupying oneself busy with good deeds.

Do keep in touch. If you have any other question, don't hesitate to write to us.

And Allah Ta'ala Knows Best


Wassalamu Alaykum


Ml. Mohammad Ashhad bin Said
Correspondence Iftaa Student, Mauritius

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah

http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/17628

 

[Salahudeen]

Assalaam Alaikum

Several weeks ago I read a thread from a brother who had a sincere question about marriage in Islam. He was a chaste brother seeking a chaste women because he believed it is what was commanded from Allah in the Quran (I forgot the specific ayat he mentioned). He was asking how could he come to know if a women he would like to marry is chaste or not (Whether he should ask her directly or is their a more appropriate means).

As I read the replies, they were mostly negative stating that he should not worry about it. Some sisters even went on to say that he read the quoted passage out of context and most women would prefer a man with experience.

I on the other hand also believed what the brother said was true because I remember coming to the same conclusion as I read the Quran. At the time I could not reply because I was unsuccessful at finding the provable ayat. However, I've just recently came across it and it states:

"Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the believers such a thing is forbidden." (24:3)

Translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali

The arabic word used within this passage was "Zina," which upon research using several sources means: extramarital sex and premarital sex. Within the footnotes of Abullah Yusuf Ali he states: "Zina includes sexual intercourse between a man and a woman not married to each other. It therefore applies both to adultery...and fornication..."

What surprised me was their was not a reply that I've read that answered his question but rather people who denounced his belief. Myself being a recent revert to Islam who have made wrong choices in my past have accepted, to the best of my understanding, that as someone who has fornicated in my past before I accepted Islam and read the Quran I must marry a women who has a similar past that is now a revert to Islam (An unbeliever is not an option for me).

My reason for bringing this thread back up was to hear others views on this topic and if their may be anything that I may be misunderstanding, I'd like someone to clarify it for me.

Thanks in advance

What you did before you became Muslim does not count, the verse you quoted has been explained to mean that if a person is doing fornication and that is their life style and they have not repented and reformed themselves and continue to do fornication, then it is forbidden to marry such a person, however if they have repented and now lead a righteous life staying away from fornication then you're allowed to marry them.

 

[Lukqman]

Thank you sister Zaria and brother Salahudeen for your responses. You both have given me a new perspective and I am appreciative of sister Zaria's quotes which strengthened your statements.

To summarize what I have understood from you both is:

1) If you have committed the sin and you are remorseful and repent sincerely then Allah will forgive your sin and you can marry a chaste believer.

2) If you have committed the sin before you reverted and you have repented, all of your past sins before your reversion have been wiped away therefore allowing you to marry a chaste believer.

I'd like to apologize ahead of time for my next inquiry as I do not mean to challenge any of you. You see I am a very strict person when it comes to finding out what is the correct path using the logic that Allah has provided me.

Does a sin becoming forgiven equate to no longer being guilty of the act to Allah? To reiterate: When a previous sin is forgiven does Allah deem it as though that person is no longer guilty of it? Logically speaking, when one is forgiven it does not negate the fact that he is guilty of whatever it was that person was forgiven for. This is what led me to conclude that: You are still guilty of the sin but due to your sincere repentance, Allah will no longer count the act on the day of judgement.

There are two examples that Zaria has provided that seems to make stronger cases:

The Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) said, “Islam wipes out all the past sins of a person.” Once a person asked the Prophet (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam), “In my past life (as a non-Muslim) I was guilty of many a trespasses and acts of lewdness; would I be forgiven?” He said, “Didn’t you know that Islam wipes out the past?”


It is recorded that 'Amr ibn Al-'Aas (Radhiyallaahu ‘anhu) once said: "When Islam had taken root in my heart I went to the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) and said: 'Spread out your hand so that I may take pledge.' He thrust forward his right hand and I held it in mine (without taking the oath). He (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) asked, 'What's the matter with you 'Amr?' I said, 'Well. I would like to make it conditional.' 'And what's the condition?' he asked. I said, 'That I be forgiven.' He (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) said, 'Don't you know 'Amr that Islam wipes out previous sins... that hijrah wipes out previous sins... and that Hajj wipes out previous sins?' [Hadeeth in Sahih Muslim- narrated By Amr Ibn ‘Aas]

These quotes both state that all previous sins are "wiped out" which could mean eradicate or to remove or destroy utterly. In this case it could be said that Allah makes it so that you are no longer guilty of the sin.

The problem I personally have now is that I have decided to only put 100% faith in Hadeeths that are supported with facts within the Quran. I know that I still have much to learn. Especially now that I am beginning to learn Arabic and have begun to notice more descriptive meanings than I first did within the Quran.

Again thank you for your input which has helped me and given me some perspective. If there is anything else you or anyone would like to add I gladly welcome it.

 

[Ahmad H]

8:38 Say to those who have disbelieved, if they cease (from disbelief), their past will be forgiven. But if they return (thereto), then the examples of those (punished) before them have already preceded (as a warning).

Allah has said that if you believe after having disbelieved, then He forgives all of your past sins. Only look to what He says. You can marry any Muslim woman, since inquiring into another person's sins is not allowed. That person may be covered by Allah and will then deal with those sins in the Hereafter. It's another thing if they tell you.

As for this verse, the reason why it is not barring you from marrying chaste Muslim women is because the verse is aiming at those people who are lost to all sense of shame and who habitually indulge in this vice showing no sign of repenting their evils.

As long as you repent of your adulterous ways in the past and never commit them again, then you are free to marry a chaste Muslim woman. If not, then you can only marry someone who would be just as depraved and unchaste in their sexual practices. This is because this verse is clarifying that Allah does not want people who indulge in this evil to mix with chaste Muslims, since those kinds of people are like lepers, who must be cast out from the good. They are considered evil and their influence is also evil. This is where the concept of people who are bad company and good company comes into the issue.